The Spam Thread...

[Neo]

No, don't go posting one liners and crap here, this is about REAL spam!

Since anyone who has a domain can tell you -- we get tons of email. All the time. For no apparent reason. Anyways...

I always come across various titles and stuff that to me sound almost funny -- or ridiculous...

For instance awhile ago I had a spam message titled something like "Get a Domain implant!" (wtf?)

Just today I saw this one:

From: "Papa" <tfx@bkkmail.com>
Subject: Paris Hilton stocks up on viagra

Odd no? Heres another:

kill virulent viruses or bacteria-spouse hinman chase
Mozambique Weekly - review revealing modern life
Please read : Newsletter regarding SmallCaps
Smallcaps means profit
I knew it! smallcaps ARE taking over the world!
Don’t be a fuddy-duddy...use the software everyone’s using... pq 7345 bf
Learn to Sing - From Paula Abdul & Randy Jackson
TheMicroCapJournal
Re: Wtutor HMelatonin Miscell
What?
§O¸r¼}§O¤H¡I§A¤]¥i¥HDIY»s§@¤@*Ó¶W¬¯ÄRªºFlash¯S®Äºô*¶¡ã¡@¡@¡@ XDFSHZIDXH
McDonalds rules :)

Well, thats all for now. Feel free to add you own, Now I know this thread may seem silly, but it just seems that the titles should be used for SOMETHING! XD Besides, how many times have you see Fuddy-Duddy?

Oh, please skip the X-Rated type spam titles. Don't need those. Ill have some more tommorow :)

-Neo

[Basan]

Eh, since I've got Secret Maker (http://www.secretmaker.com/) n' trained it's e-mail "Spam Fighter" rarely have one of those. Well... not really. Maybe once or twice a year. :smirk:

(Btw, I know for sure that it works with ThunderBird, MS Outlook and MS Outlook Express in case anyone wonders. ;))

[hammocksleeper]

The titles are weird because they formulate them with words that won't set off a spam filter. And then lots of times the actual advertisement will be either an image file or more words with funny characters or spellings so they don't trigger spam filters. But yeah they are funny. Fuddy-duddy haha, sounds like something my grandmother would say.

[Basan]

... And then lots of times the actual advertisement will be either an image file or more words with funny characters or spellings so they don't trigger spam filters. ...

Meh, not to both my apps. And Thunderbird knocks out any image he thinks to be bogus. :)

[Dezzick]

Neo, you mean like this?

Cheap Software
Get all the software possible for wholesale prices!
We sell software 2-6 times cheaper than retail price.

Just a few examples:
$79.95 Windows XP Professional (Including: Service Pack 2)
$89.95 Microsoft Office 2003 Professional / $79.95 Office XP Professional
$99.95 Adobe Photoshop 8.0/CS (Including: ImageReady CS)
$179.95 Macromedia Studio MX 2004 (Including: Dreamweaver MX + Flash MX + Fireworks MX)
$79.95 Adobe Acrobat 6.0 Professional
$59.95 Corel Draw Graphics Suite 11

Special Offers:
$89.95 Windows XP Professional + Office XP Professional
$149.95 Adobe Creative Suite Premium (5 CD)
$129.95 Adobe Photoshop 7 + Adobe Premiere 7 + Adobe Illustrator 10

All main products from Microsoft, Adobe, Macromedia, Corel, etc.
And lots more... Please visit us at:*insert domain here* (http://www.allsoft-cds.com/)

[The_Maker]

Well, even though my adelphia filter has been working rather well, it still can't stop ALL the spam I am getting. I usually get stuff in russian but I just got this really weird (and of course rip-off) style email.


Dearest BeloveD,
Base on your profile I am happy to request for your assistance and also to go into business partnership with you, I believe that you will not betrayed my trust which I am going to bestow on you.
I am Mr JERRY WILLIAMS, 23years old and the only son of my late parents MR. and MRS WILLIAMS. My father was a highly reputable business magnet-(a cocoa merchant) who operated in the capital of Ivory Coast during his days. It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad year 12th.Febuary 2003.Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time. But God knows the truth! My mother died when I was just 4 years old, and since then my father took me so special.
Before his death on February 12 2003 he called the secretary who accompanied him to the hospital and told him that he has the sum of ELEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES
DOLLARS.(US$11,500,000) left in a Bank,it was deposited as family money personal for security reasons. I am just 23 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do.
This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life. Sir,I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions:-
1] Can I completely trust you?
2] What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you?
Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible Thank you so much.
3]I would need your private telephone and fax numbers for easy and smooth communication.
Also your full banking details where the money will be transferred to,
that will enable us submit them to bank here and seek for transfer approval.
We hope to hear from you soon.
May God bless and be with you and your family.Call me for more details with
this telephone number +22508006579
Beside I'm corresponding with you from here in Cote D'Ivoire West Africa and moreso there is great political war going on here in this country so that I may not loosed my life or the inheritance to war in this country, My sincere regards,
Mr JERRY WILLIAMS.


*cough cough* rip off *cough cough* ;)
I mean seriously, cocoa? and a couple million dollars if I give him my phone number, fax, number, and bank account number, NOT

[DragonPaladin]

How dare they call God into this...I say we take the bait, alert the federal Marshals. So when they play the old Nigeran scam on us and say, "You're under arrest for fraud." We say, "Umm...no...YOU'RE under arrest for fraud." And then we deport them back to their delightful little country

[bluemicrobyte]

Spam Subject I received today: Hlleo, stranegr! :)

[Neo]

Well my own spam filter is setup to block spams via changing the message so the original is attached to a default spam message telling me "blah blah has found this message to be spam see attachment for original"

Heh oh well..

fichuk Nasal Moisturizerp
From: Maggots R. Monolith

Ah, all I have for today, sorry :(

-Neo

[Nuts]

This arrangement will only be offered to you one last time.

We'd like to thank you again for your inquiry last year.
We have been just been advised that two private lenders are interested in offering you a deal on your existing mortgage.
Remember, for this special offer past credit history is not a factor.

In accordance with our terms please verify your information on our secure, private site to ensure our records are accurate.

http://www.truthfu1.net/quality.asp

Have a Wonderful day.

--Karl M. Collins
Senior Business Consultant


If our office has sent you this accident then please disregard and follow here.
http://www.truthfu1.net/gone.asp

I get 5-6 daily sometimes.

[Neo]

Yeah, the mortgage ones are really wierd, I don't understand what the hell kind of people decide on mortgage stuff based on spam emails ;\

Those and Pharmacy-pill things comprise the majority of what i get

-Neo

[Nuts]

The BEST email EVAR! (A wonderful twist on the Nigerian emails)


Attn: Your Humble Goodself.

RE: OFFER FROM THE VATICAN CHURCH, VATICAN CITY.

Greetings to you from the office of the Holy Father of the Vatican Church, Vatican City, Rome Italy.

We are writing this letter to you today as a Holy offer/opportunity to work for the Vatican Church, Vatican City Rome Italy, as our only official secret distributor of charity funds to our several registered charity organizations around this global earth with topmost secrecy.

In August 9 1903 when Giuseppe Sarto assumed office as the second pope of the Vatican Church Vatican city as Pope Pius PP. X, he included a new amendment to the constitution of the Vatican Church, which relates that as a result of the continuous rising several cases of corruption and mis-use of the funds allocated by the Vatican Church to charity organizations, via the power of the Cardinals of the Vatican Church, the appointment of the official distributor of funds allocated by the Vatican Church for distribution to registered charity organizations, MUST be secretly issued to a non Vatican Church individual/personnel, who must be unknown by all living person’s except the office of the Holy Father and the official holy Treasurer of the Vatican Church, in-order to curb and eliminate the continuous rising several cases of corruption and mis-use of the charity funds, since without the knowledge of the official distributor by any other personnel of the Vatican Church except from the office of the Holy Father and the official holy treasurer of the Vatican Church, the corruption cases would be brought to an immediate halt, and this new measure worked perfectly well from that time till this current time frame.

In the Addendum of this new amendment contained in the constitution of the Vatican Church, it is also clearly stated that every new Pope assuming office in the Vatican Church, must select a new official secret distributor for his regime, and upon his death, his selected official secret distributor must immediately have his/her post terminated, with the replacement of a new official secret distributor, secretly chosen by the new governing Pope only.

And with the passing away of our previous Pope, Ioannes Paulus PP. II Karol Wojtyla as Pope John Paul II on April the 2nd of 2005, and with the recent appointment of I Joseph Ratzinger as Pope Benedictus XVI on April the 19th of 2005, the previous secret distributor in Pope John Paul II time has been relieved of his position, and as a result a new secret distributor is immediately required without delay to serve till my regime is over via death.

In the light of the above related sentences, you have been nominated by this Holy office of the Holy Father of the Vatican Church Vatican City, to be our secret distributor of charity funds to our several registered charity organizations around this global earth SECRETLY with topmost secrecy, in which you would be continually paid a commission of 10% only, of every total amount of funds released to your goodself every four (4) months by the reputable funds organization the Vatican Church holds its charity funds in, for immediate distribution to our several registered charity organizations around the world, as charity funds from the Vatican Church Vatican City.

In-order to pre-qualify for this secret official Holy post in the Vatican Church, you must satisfy our basic requirements below;

1. You must be a honest, straightforward and God fearing individual.
2 You must be an aristocrat or an influential rich individual with a designated bank account in a reputable Bank, which can completely and always accommodate the released charity funds to your goodself, without the need of questioning by relevant authorities.
3. You must be 100% fully ready and oblige to keep your post as our only official secret distributor of charity funds as Topmost secret, and guide this secret post in the Vatican Church Vatican City with your life.
4. You must not for any reason perform as not required by the office of the Holy Father i.e embezzlement and mis-use of charity funds.
5. You must at all time adhere fully and promptly to the instructions furnished your goodself by the office of the Holy Father of the Vatican Church.

Please kindly note that, Age, Sex, Religion, and Nationality, does not in any way affect your qualification eligibility, so if your humble goodself is confident and eligible for this secret holy post in the Vatican church, please kindly respond immediately to this electronic message by sending your personal response to our direct secret email address at (officeofthe_holyfather@vaticanchurch-va.org) from your private/personal email address without delay, and we shall guide you through the mandatory required steps to attain the secret holy post.

Thank you for your time as we expect your goodself to keep this electronic contact as topmost secret, in-order to protect the interest of the Vatican Church, Vatican City, Rome Italy, while we await your personal response from your personal email address to our secret email address.

Remain blessed and best regard’s from the office of the Holy Father of the Vatican Church and please take time out to visit our official website at (www.vaticanchurch.org) and to view our profile please kindly visit (http://www.vaticanchurch.org/holy_father/benedict_xvi/index.htm)

God Bless you.

Office of the Vatican Church,
Pope Benedictus XVI
Joseph Ratzinger
Pope,
Vatican Church,
Vatican City.
Rome, Italy.
Website address: http://www.vaticanchurch.org

[Demon_Child]

I probably get hundreds of spam emails every couple of weeks. (the time it takes for me to even bother to check my email) I don't even bother to click on any of them, mainly just perform a mass deletiting and continue on with my life.

[Basan]

I probably get hundreds of spam emails every couple of weeks. (the time it takes for me to even bother to check my email) I don't even bother to click on any of them, mainly just perform a mass deletiting and continue on with my life.

May I advise the "fiery strip club" mod to lose a lil' time training your Secret Maker (after installing it)? That if you use an mail app to get your e-mail from POP3 servers (like Outlook, for example). ;)

Past that time it will learn for itself and only present to you the e-mails it thinks worthy.

[Modred]

I got one today that was something like:

Modred: Ultimate Power & Strength

Most of my spam has my username in it...