War Thread

[T-Dawg]

Ok, here are the rules:

1- you can do anything you want, as long as you don't kill someone. Only you can decide when you die.

2- try and be comical.


3- commense.


I throw a piece of flaming bologna at AJ. Whatever shall he do?

[AJ]

I duck. The bologna hits a duck.

[T-Dawg]

*starts stacking bologna in a catapult, sets it a flame.*

FIRE!!!!

[Luther-Stark]

*Jumps in the air screaming how this is the biggest spam trap in the world.*

[T-Dawg]

Flying bologna that is flaming, yes I said flaming, hits luther-stark on the face, setting his hair asunder.

[ZeroDarkStar]

Grabs a large bucket of spit and dumps on Luther, killing the fire.

[Fenguin]

Applys medicated ear lobe ointment to zerodarkstar's foot-moles.

[T-Dawg]

*takes out sword... starts chasing fenguin*

[Fenguin]

*Inflates himself to mammoth size. Then runs from the pokey sword that might pop him*

[T-Dawg]

T-Dawg pops fenguin, but due to the fact of rushing pressure, Feng grabs T-Dawg pulling him into the atmosphere, where T-Dawg becomes very warm and near incinerated. then the air runs out. (not that I am implying that Fenguin is full of hot air ;) ) They then proceed to fall into a large pull of jello.

T-Dawg begins to chomp at the jello, so he can continue to bash Feng.

[Fenguin]

Feng is not so lucky, and he falls onto hard concrete. Due to his brand-new Teflon® coat, he only suffers minor bruises. The only organs that ruptured were his stomach, liver, and heart. Thankfully, he drinks some SuperPotionOfDoom and the listed organs un-rupture. ;)

[T-Dawg]

*continues to chomp towards fenguin. pulls out his tricked out spork of whoop ass to layeth the smacketh down*

[Fenguin]

*Takes out a new, never-been-seen-before weapon: THE PINK HAIR RIBBON OF DOOM! Then charges T-Dawg wielding this fearsome weapon.

[T-Dawg]

*cries more pathetically than a newborn*

runs away frantically.

(why the hell is Feng and I, the only ones posting. well more fun for us then =p )

[xer0_k00l]

/me runs away and plays FFXI in his little corner.

[T-Dawg]

As T-Dawg runs away he gets in front of xero playing FFXI. T-Dawg sporks the screen and runs away manically.

[xer0_k00l]

xer0 dies of FFXI deprivation.

[T-Dawg]

Kill count: 1

Go me! I got the first kill in the war thread. I am uber 1337. lol.
*dies of excitement*
*respawns*

Awe damn now me and xer0 are tied.

[AJ]

*picks up stray piece of bologna and eats it*
yum. ;)

[OboeGuru]

*throws sharpened goat hooves at AJ's head*

[Luther-Stark]

*Takes huge sword and chops of this threads head. Damn... must be a hydra. $#$*()&@#$

[T-Dawg]

No.. clearly this is a golden thread. You can't chop it. Cut it. Or slice it. (more mythical references?)

*runs away even more manically*

[Dark_Soul74]

I come in and take out the Magical Chopsticks of Near Doom! Bwahahahahahaah! All shall fall before my wrath! But first...RICE! *chomps on rice*

[OboeGuru]

*tosses a jagged metal rice grain in with Dark_Soul's rice*

[Fenguin]

*Hops around on a green bunny, tossing bombs everywhere but missing everyone*
Remember Bomberman? :D Don't answer for the thread's sake.

[ZeroDarkStar]

I use my amazing "RiceDetector" to find the rice and take it out before Dark_Soul eats it. Unforunetly, I drop the metal grain into Dark_Soul's eyes, blinding him instantly.

^_^

[Fenguin]

*Hits Zero with a bomb. It's a dud, but it's still big and metal though ;)*

[ZeroDarkStar]

Suffers coma.

[Fenguin]

Laughs so hard he gets a heart attack. Then accidentally blows himself up with a bomb. Respawns right next to where he died ;)

[ZeroDarkStar]

That's 1 kill for an unconscious ZeroDarkStar.

Suddenly he wakes up, and looks around. There's a Fengiun standing next to a huge crateor, looking dazed.

Suddenly he hears a beeping noise. He looks down. There's a live H-bomb near his feet.

The timer says 00:1.

[Dark_Soul74]

*Throws away the decoy Dark_Soul74. Runs over to the jell-o and put a sprinkle of jell-o's chemical opposite....PUDDING! The two ingredients react in a giant, nuclear-like explosion.*

[Fenguin]

Fenguin runs away by hopping on his bunny, which curiously didn't die in the aforementioned explosion ;)

[ZeroDarkStar]

Both Dark_Soul's explosion and ZeroDarkStar's H-Bomb explode at the same time, sending a massive shockwave through the earth, unmounting Fenguin from his demonic bunny, and killing any small mammal unlucky enough to be underground.

[Fenguin]

Fenguin lands on his face and lives. He then becomes an ostrich and flies around.

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar calls on his small mammal servants to fetch him his hunting rifle.

"There's gonna be ostrich for dinner tonight!"

[Fenguin]

*Remembers that ostriches can't fly. Then falls to the ground, landing butt first. He then changes back to a Fenguin and mounts his bunny and waves his Pink Hair Ribbon of Doom around once more. :D*

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar fires his hunting rifle, missing Fenguin on the first try. He reloads his shot, but by then, the yummyzorz little p3ngu!n has run off into the sunset.

"Damn you, Fenguin! Damn you! I'll get you one day! I swear!!!"

[OboeGuru]

My army of rabid wombats attack Fenguin's bunny and then start to attack Fenguin himself.

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar proceeds to use "WombatBeGone" on OboeGuru's Wombats. As they scurry away, ZDS pulls out....

Valve Grease.

ZeroDarkStar starts to laugh crazily...

[OboeGuru]

OboeGuru pulls out his "InstaFreezer" and freezes ZDS' valve grease. He then freezes the ground in front of him and begins skating after Fenguin like a bat out of hell, freezing all the ground in front of him so he'll never run out of ice.

Before leaving ZDS, he also tries to use his "CustomTitleExchanger" but it fails.

[ZeroDarkStar]

You are too 1337 for me.

ZeroDarkStar takes his ultra "Moleanator9000" and uses it to destroy the sun.

[OboeGuru]

Crap, it's dark! *skates into thorny rose bushes frozen über sharp and gets turned into swiss cheese and dies*

[ZeroDarkStar]

2 kills for ZeroDarkStar.

Are you going to respawn?

[OboeGuru]

*Respawns with my hands clutching your throat*

Yes. :D

[GrassDragon]

*eats the delicious swiss-cheese-of-oboeGuru and then turns into a small kitty cat... with a stomach ache... aaaahh too much cheese...*

[ZeroDarkStar]

*Respawns with my hands clutching your throat*

Yes. :D
Heh.

You've forgotten one important thing.

Anvil.

*Anvil falls from the sky, totally smashing Oboe and ZDS into the ground.*

[OboeGuru]

OOFAH!!! *makes accordion noise standing up*

Takes out "Thermator" and melts anvil into large metal plate over ZDS, trapping him.

[Fenguin]

Fenguin to save the day! *Fenguin comes in on his noble steed [or bunny], and using the Ultimate Popsicle Stick of Ultimateness, mows all the grass to exactly 2 inches long. :D

[GrassDragon]

*Grassdragon-the-kitty-cat prances around on the newly cut lawn until he sees Fenguins ultimate popsicle stick... Grassdragon wants a popsicle stick too! so he begins to eat popsicles... but none of his popsicle sticks end up being as ultimate as Fenguins... and now kitty-cat-Grassdragon has a very bad stomach ache... popsicles dont mix well with swiss cheese*

[OboeGuru]

Fenguin to save the day! *Fenguin comes in on his noble steed [or bunny], and using the Ultimate Popsicle Stick of Ultimateness, mows all the grass to exactly 2 inches long. :D
Doesn't help ZDS any, he's trapped under an heavy heavy metal plate. :D

*releases termite to the eat the Ultimate Popsicle Stick of Ultimateness*

[T-Dawg]

After the explosion, which occured in between my trip to hades to realize this thread was golden, I look around seeing rements of what appears to be jello and another substance.

After checking through numerous books compiled on dangerous admixtures with jello, T-Dawg comes to the conclusion it can only be pudding. Takes out his trusty spork and starts eating.

[Fenguin]

*pokes termite with popsicle stick. termite blows up ;) Then it cuts away the metal plate [in many many thin sheets] just in case ZDS dies of squishage ;) But then the metal plates fly into Fenguin's face and smother him to death. Metal plates 1, Fenguin 0.*

[GrassDragon]

mmmmm pudding... *joins t-dawg in eating the pudding* why is the cat so hungry when he knows it makes him sick?? the answer coming up next, on channel 42, eyewitness news...

[BSTRhino]

"I love watching you suffer." The cold chilling voice sent shivers all through my body. If only I could move. I felt a relentless rage stirring within me. He had killed everyone I had known and loved.

Standing around me were people who I did not have the strength to recognise, but yet I could feel their very presence tugging on the life I had left.

"Why are you doing this?" I called through the silence of my mind. This was the end.

"You forgot something." ZeroDarkStar dropped the last piece of pudding into my mouth. I couldn't swallow. I was dead.

[OboeGuru]

*... metal plates fly into Fenguin's face and smother him to death. ...*Yes! One kill for me!

*OboeGuru mounts his flying hippo and glides off into the inky blackness of the sunless sky*

[Fenguin]

Then thunderbolts caused by Fenguingeddon start occuring. They look like marshmallows.

[OboeGuru]

I can see!!! *lighting incinerates my hippo* Mr. Jingles! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! *plummets into a marshmallow factory and gets stuck in the marshmallows* Such a sweet sweet fate! *starts eating his way out*

[T-Dawg]

ok. its dark. very dark. through the vast extradimensional far reaching powers of the one time magic trick T-Dawg learned, he teleports the planet to an alternate part of the multiverse where light and day are unaffected so war can continue on.

Long live the sporks!

(and long live the mighty TragicJester, the originator of the war thread at macwarcraftiii.)

[OboeGuru]

*Oboe eats his way out, pick up a spork, and shoots one into each of Feng's eyes.*

[T-Dawg]

Oboe didn't see that T-Dawg was standing in front of feng, so he does a maxtrix-esque flip, but one spork digs itself into his foot.

Where did the other spork go?

[OboeGuru]

Where did the other spork go?
I think you caught it. *runs away*

[Geno]

Walks in, gets hit in the head with flaming Poo... Walks back out

[OboeGuru]

Oh no you don't! *pulls out the "Spork-o-Matic 4000a" and shoots Geno with a volley of 29 1/2 sporks*

[henrywonderchimp]

/me runs at oboe with a large, pointy stick

[OboeGuru]

Crap! Pointed stick! *runs some distance, makes an odd whistle, and 16 Djunglorms rush towards chimpy*

Feel the wrath of my horrible fuzzy rainbow snake army!

[d00d]

/me runs around and gets shot in teh nuts.

[T-Dawg]

/me watches d00d get shot.

/me faints.

/me gets up and jumps up and down in pain for d00d.

"d00d, that sucks d5wd."

[Dark_Soul74]

Seeing all the destruction around me, I have no choice but to shoot myself in the head with a Kaba Kick. :p

Having gone through 6 clicks of nothing, I shoot again, and the tiny pink foot hits me on the head.
I fall over, knocked unconcious.

[ZeroDarkStar]

That's 3 kills for ZeroDarkStar. ^_^

ZeroDarkStar uses his revive to awaken Dark_Soul from his unconciousness. However, as ZDS is popping the pills into DS74's mouth, he notices something on the label....

"Side Effects: 100% chance of 1337ness when awoken from unconciousness. That means you're going to die."

Oh shit.

[Dark_Soul74]

I grab ZeroDarkStar's face and throw him towards the nearest star. Then, I turn into :banana:

[ZeroDarkStar]

Notice I'm a DarkStar.

ZeroDarkStar hits the nearest star, and because of the magnetic differences inside each, and because of ZeroDarkStar's significatly smaller mass, he is flung backward at 40000 times the speed of light, and crashes into Dark_Soul74, drilling a hole through the world, and submerging both of them in the Earth's molten core.

[Dark_Soul74]

I'm happy, since it was cold there. Also, since I am a soul, I am not entirely solid, so it doesn't really push me through, you just melt yourself.

[ZeroDarkStar]

I'm melting!!!

ZeroDarkStar pours a bunch of water on his head, cooling off the core and creating so much pressure that he is flung right back up to the surface.

"Die."

[Geno]

I am pulled back into the room, after a long silence from me

"Damn you! C'mere!"

I pull off my shoe, and chuck it at ZeroDarkStar, and hit him squarely in the head (Payback for... Um... Yea! Payback for that... that thing the other day!), and then laugh.

Eat that!

I pull off my other shoe, and throw it at Oboe, nailing him right in the crotch.

"Man... That's going to burn."

I run out of shoes, so I pull off my hat (Oddjob style!) and throw it. Who knows who THAT'S going to hit!!!

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar's head swells to the size of an elephant, crushing everyone inside the room.

"There is no escape."

[T-Dawg]

*looks down the hole that was created*

wow that looks warm I say, as I jump down not knowing what is about to occur.

[Dark_Soul74]

I get a pack of marshmallows to roast over the hole. One is poison. Which you ask? You shall learn! Bwahahahahahahaha!

S'mores anyone?

[ZeroDarkStar]

"Sure!" Says ZeroDarkStar.

[henrywonderchimp]

eep!!! not the queerest of all queer animals! *drops pointed stick and runs right into DS, as i join the s'more roast :p

[OboeGuru]

I pull off my other shoe, and throw it at Oboe, nailing him right in the crotch.

"Man... That's going to burn.
Oy vais... It's a good thing I've already lost it all becuse of Feng's Carbon-toed boot.

I want a marshmallow! *joins in the marshmallow roasting*

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar waits for Dark_Soul to commense the roasting.

[Fenguin]

Oy vais... It's a good thing I've already lost it all becuse of Feng's Carbon-toed boot.

I want a marshmallow! *joins in the marshmallow roasting*

Admitting you don't have genitals is sick. Very very sick :D
And my Carbon-toed boot only squished them, not made them fall off ;)

[OboeGuru]

And my Carbon-toed boot only squished them, not made them fall off ;)
Same difference. And I'll say all the sick things I bloody want to. :D

[Fenguin]

Fenguin comes back after getting tired of raining marshmallows on people. He then sits in a corner and reads Chicka Chicka Bang Bang.

[OboeGuru]

*/me throws a large mule at Fenguin*

[ZeroDarkStar]

/me jumps in the air for no reason at all.

[Fenguin]

/me catches the mule with my bare nose. Then Fenguin starts talking in the third person. Fenguin likes eating mules, so he eats it.

[OboeGuru]

The mule had Ebola Zaire in the advanced stage.

[ZeroDarkStar]

"Oh nozzz!111!!!"

ZeroDarkStar chucks a caramel apple at OboeGuru.

OboeGuru can only dodge it if he knows how to correctly pronouce "caramel".

Is it Care-e-mel, or Car-a-mel?

[OboeGuru]

I don't want to dodge it! */me catches caramel apple and commences devouring it*

I believe it's the second if I interpret your phoenetics properly.

[Fenguin]

The mule had Ebola Zaire in the advanced stage.

But Fenguin had Ebola Zaire in the advanced stage already. :D So he didn't get any more infected.

[ZeroDarkStar]

It's the 1st, but okay.

/me spreads some sort of deadly anal disease.

[OboeGuru]

Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Anal disease!

*/me rubs the Wish-o-tron 1138 rev. 327* Ha! Now I no longer generate solid waste and also no longer have an anus!

[ZeroDarkStar]

Erm...


















Nasty.

/me waits for OboeGuru to attack.

[OboeGuru]

*/me plays the Dragonflute to call out the Dragon Zord and jumps into the cockpit in better-than-green-ranger-style*

Feel my wrath!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *shoots the machineguns in the fingertips in every direction*

[ZeroDarkStar]

/me takes a giant bucket of akjhkjlhadsjfhdkjhf and pours it on Oboe's head.

[xer0_k00l]

Some one drops a fenix down on xer0.
He is reborn.

[OboeGuru]

GYAH! The akjhkjlhadsjfhdkjhf, it burns us! *in my wild flailing I make the DZ turn around rapidly and the tail whacks xer0 right out of his boots*

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar takes an imaginary pistol and starts firing at Oboe.

"Die! Take this! And this!"

[OboeGuru]

*falls over thinking he's dead, but then realizes it was an imaginary pistol* Heeeeyyyyy!...... Scummy!

I choose you, Pikachu! Now, Thundershock! ~zap~

[ZeroDarkStar]

/me dies of 1337 Thundershock.

Respawns.

Hey, anybody noticed the "Similar Threads" thing at the bottom?

[OboeGuru]

Heh, and how they really have no correlation with this thread? Yeah. :p

That's two for me!

I choose you, Lapras! *floats off into binary sunset*

[GrassDragon]

*throws large roasted hams at everyone*

yes i have but what does it actually do? none of those threads seem remotely similar :D

[ZeroDarkStar]

Mabye it's beacuse one of us posted in each?

*Deflects the ham with what's left of the akjhkjlhadsjfhdkjhf.*

[GrassDragon]

*collects last bits of akjhkjlhadsjfhdkjhf in order to reproduce it in a lab enviroment for... experimental purposes*

that could be but it seems like a very bad way to find similar threads.

[OboeGuru]

*Ham bone gets lodged in Oboe's throat as he tries to swallow the ham, chokes to death.*

[ZeroDarkStar]

Oboe = girl? O_o

ZeroDarkStar takes Oboe's dead, lifeless body and throws it at GD.

[OboeGuru]

Hehe, oops. Edited.

/me suddenly respawns as /me hits GD and proceeds to crush his ribs.

[henrywonderchimp]

/me notices that dark_soul has not-so-suddenly disappeared, and i commence wrangling up the djungleorms in order to turn them on oboe.

[BlackHawk]

(OOC: So this is sorta like that thing book made right? I can always go with some comical spam....err proper posting....)

BH walks onto the battle field and goes "OMFG you n00bs, like wtf, use proper RPing eticuate...eticate...eti-how-ever-you-spell-this-stupid-word-!"

Then he pulls out his crazy L337 rocket launcher of supreme salads, and shoots TASTY WENDY'S(TM) BURGERS (OPEN LATE SO YOU CAN EAT GREAT!) at everyone.

[OboeGuru]

/me eats so many TASTY WENDY'S(TM) BURGERS that /me gets so fat he explodes and dies.

[xer0_k00l]

/me spams.

[d00d]

/me counter-spams.

[henrywonderchimp]

/me sicks all 16 djungleorms on the both of you :p

[Dark_Soul74]

I shoot anti-djungleorm missiles at hwc

[henrywonderchimp]

my djunglorm brigade releases chaff to disrupt the tracking devices of your anit-djunglorm missles :p

[Dark_Soul74]

I release anti chaff missiles.

[ZeroDarkStar]

I release anti-anti-anti-anti chaff missles.

[henrywonderchimp]

and from my djunglorm brigade cam a collective "eep" right before they were blasted into oblivion. *plays taps*

[BlackHawk]

I eat munching some of the leftover Wendy's burgers...on a nice checkered blanky while the battle rages on around me. I stop to slowly tap around my mouth with a napkin looking all prepy.

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar takes a vaccum and sucks the food from BH's mouth, instantly ending this "prepyness".

[Dark_Soul74]

/me Throws a spam letter at ZDS

[ZeroDarkStar]

GAH!

/me uses yahoo's 1337 spam guard to block the shot.

[BlackHawk]

I use a crazy hax0r program to disable yahoo's L337 spam guard block.

[ZeroDarkStar]

/me uses a cloned BSTRhino to take full control of his L337 programming abilties and I reenable the spam guard and send a virus into any computer BH uses, completely destroying them.

[OboeGuru]

/me takes advantage of the backdoor that was programmed into the spam guard and explodes ZDS' computer.

[ZeroDarkStar]

/me takes advantage of the backdoor that was programmed into the spam guard and explodes ZDS' computer.Shit. Got me at a stalemate. Right now I'm using my evil robot servant to access the internet.

Okay....

/me uses an H-bomb to destroy OboeGuru's house.

[BlackHawk]

But then *gasp* BH switches onto a palm-pilot and accesses the internet through that, then sends ZDS a virus that makes a mutant come out of the monitor screaming "GUSH MUSH PUSH" and then he knocks the BSTRhino over, making his front panel burst open spewing his battery acid all over ZDS.

[ZeroDarkStar]

Palms count as computers, but oh well.

ZDS, now horribly burned from his earlier encounter with the battery acid, gets up from the ground.

"Burn lotion!" He says.

And magicly all his burns are gone. He then summons WhiteHawk, BlackHawk's evil twin, to destroy BH.

[OboeGuru]

I have the best weapon of all! *sings Gilligan's Isle theme*

[BlackHawk]

BH smiles as he looks around on the internet with his computer now that he has destroyed ZDS's attempts at disabling his computer.

"Hello good brother"

BH jumped when he heard the raspy voice of his brother WhiteHawk, but wait! He doesn't have a raspy voice!

WH coughed a few times before talking once more, but now in his normal high pitched voice "sorry, banana....ANYWAY I have come to kill you!"

"Again? Don't you get sick of this?"

"...yes"

"Do you even get health benefits from this job?"

"Health benefits? I hardly get paid!"

"Exactly, don't you think you deserve more for trying to kill me? Go back to ZDS and get a fair price before taking on that mission, you deserve it!"

As WH walked off to find ZDS BH muttered to himself "heh heh, dumbass."

[ZeroDarkStar]

WhiteHawk stops in his tracks. He remembered that because he was summoned by a human, he is bound to that oath until he dies. So, he turns around, lets out a ear-peicering screach, and dives right for BH's head.

[OboeGuru]

/me *sings Gilligan's Isle theme even louder, hoping that it will take effect before I lose my voice*

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZDS is unaffected by the song, having watched it too much in his golden days.

[OboeGuru]

/me curses profusely. *hops in Gundam Heavyarms Custom and chases down BH.*

[BlackHawk]

BH is like "what a gay song--WTF!?" as he hears the annoying song, then get's tackled by WH. They fight for a while, hidden conveniently by a smoke cloud that just happened to pop up out of nowhere, as random things (including cows) fly out. Then when the cloud slowly disappates into nothing BH stands proudly holding a cow's head mounted on a polished slab of wood.

WH scanters off to find somewhere to lick his wounds before coming back for round 2.

[Valjean]

*Werewolf has joins the party*

"You shall all die in the name of pie! NANO-BOT SUIT ACTIVATE!!" shouts Werewolf.

Werewolf is then encased in a large battle suit made of an advanced titanium alloy.

"FEEL THE POWER OF A WEREWOLF!!!" shouts werewolf, heroicly. His battle-cry inspires many surrounding civilians. Many now have hope and purpose in life...all because of Werewolf's words. His heroic character...making many feel like they all are safe from the worst things in life.

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar's evil twin, OneLightEarth, suddenly pops out of nowhere.

"Bwhahahahahaha. All shall die, when I turn on this "Evil Thingy-ma-jig"!!!"

ZeroDarkStar turns around, puches OLE in the face, and he scurries off.

How's that for "no use to the thread?"

[OboeGuru]

/me fires 200 rounds of gattling gun at both ZDS and BH and shoots 20 mini-missiles at each of them as well.

[ZeroDarkStar]

Puts on a robe and wizard hat.

Which, surprisingly, deflects the bullets back at Oboe, destroying his machine guns.

[OboeGuru]

Crappit. */me steps on ZDS*

[Valjean]

Werewolf charged at OboeGuru and pushed him over. With OboeGuru on the Ground, Werewolf's metalic looking arm morphed into a gun/arm. The nano-bots had shifted.

Werewolf then got a blue aura.

"ARM CANNON! ION CANNON MODE!!" shouted werewolf as he fired a huge blue blast straight at OboeGuru.

[BlackHawk]

BH steps infront of Werewolf after he shoots at Oboe. "Hi hi" he says. Then he breathes out and Werewofl keels over because his suit is extra-sensitive. "Bwuaha Bwuahahahahahaha"

[Dark_Soul74]

*Magically doesn't post*

[OboeGuru]

The Heavyarms' left chest gattling goes offline.

"I'll smite you good, fool!"

Left arm whacks Werewolf off with tremendous force, sending him 350 yards through the air. /me shoots Werewolf with the right chest gattling and whichever arm gattlings still work.

[Valjean]

Werewolf then gets up, looking like the suit is very weakened. He then stands up straight and before BH can do anything, Werewolf fires a smaller shot.

"Just kidding" he laughs.

"And even if I wasn't, my suit finds all errors, problems, and miscaculations and fixes them in an instant." laughed Werewolf.

"You'll never defeat me." he says, then rushing over to OboeGuru and firing a large blast again.

[Dark_Soul74]

I put a wrench in W91's suit.

[OboeGuru]

Nano-bots? */me fires EMP at Wereworf, permanently disabling his nano-bots*

[Valjean]

The wrench is then slowly assimilated by the nano-bots and then Werewolf turns around and fires another ion cannon blast. He then sees the EMP weapons and uses his Anti-EMP Sheilding generator to retain use of his nano-bot suit.

[BlackHawk]

BH dissapears magically during this encounter....

[OboeGuru]

...Turns on anti-Werewolf shield and sets out after Dark_Soul

[Dark_Soul74]

*Hits W91 with a Lockdown missile*

[Valjean]

Werewolf starts laughing.

"You all think this is my most powerful creation...well it isn't! Say hello to..."

Suddenly, the nano-bots making up the suit start to shift. More seem to come from no where.

"Self-replicating nano-bots, you gotta lover 'em!" grins werewolf.

The new nano-bot blob soon takes shape and shoon a huge mech is formed.

"Now feel my power!!!" laughed Werewolf.

Werewolf then notices he can't move...a lock-down missle.

"It's funny...while you can advance your technoligy in months..." began werewolf.

Suddenly, the Lock-down missle effects stop.

"...I can advance mine in seconds!!" laughed werewolf.

[OboeGuru]

/me ignores werewolf and ditches the Heavyarms Custom for the Wing Zero Custom. :D

*flies off in search of BH*

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZDS sits on the ground doing nothing, because he's done with this thread for tonight.

[Dark_Soul74]

I make a super self-replicating nano bot that destroys other nano bots(other than it's clones)

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZDS gets up, and walks around, uttering an old curse his grandfather taught him.

[MacG]

*Looks up what that old curse means. Realizes MacG is looking at a playboy magazine.

[BlackHawk]

BH runs hovers behind MacG observing his choice in fine magazine brands.

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZDS finishes his curse. Suddenly cows start raining from the sky.

"Woops."

[Geno]

I realize that the spammination of this thread far outdoes the spammination limit set upon myself.

"Wow... I can't keep up. My last post was like a day and a half ago, and I'm back more than 5 pages... Hmmm..."

I sneak out of the thread for now, only to reappear when I have time to spam ;)

[Dark_Soul74]

I throw a rock at Geno as he is leaving.

[BlackHawk]

I throw a spear at Geno, but it hits the rock mid-flight and knocks them both to the ground, saving Geno.

"Ahhh....oops" said BH, slightly embarassed.

[MacG]

*Gives BH my playboy magazine and runs off find Geno...

"You cannot leave! No one ever LEAVES!" yells MacG

[Dark_Soul74]

I implode the universe.




Don't ask.

[BlackHawk]

While looking at the Playboy mag, I swirl one hand and magically un-implode the universe, restoring everything to the way it was. [/god]

[Dark_Soul74]

I wrap the universe in a giant, laws-of-physics-defying crepe.



Don't ask about this one, either.

[ZeroDarkStar]

Wasn't gonna.

Suddenly everything in unviverse, except people who post on WarBoards.com, dies.
















Yes, including cookies.

[Dark_Soul74]

You....you.....YOU 愚か!
I snipe ZDS in the head.
FOR THE COOKIES!

[ZeroDarkStar]

You cannot kill me. Since the universe is wrapped in a law-defeying crepe, I turn the bullet around, and it makes a hole 2 feet in diameter through Dark_Soul.

[BlackHawk]

Then I whip up cookies and give them to DS. He jumps with joy and does a lil' jig.

Next using my godly skills I eat the whole crepe. I am god.

[Dark_Soul74]

I shoot BH with antichrist missiles.

[ZeroDarkStar]

I shoot DS with ungodly insults.

Ha. I am g0d.

[Dark_Soul74]

I deflect the insults and warn ZDS's AIM account, getting him 56% warn.

[ZeroDarkStar]

That's impossible.

I use heating pans to brand Dark_Soul's face, instantly giving him a new "look".

[Dark_Soul74]

Yay! Tattoos! I then use a cattle prod to make a wandering herd of fenguins stampede toward ZDS.

[ZeroDarkStar]

I use a jetpack to dodge them, and they fall into the water and create a huge tidal wave that engulfs Dark_Soul.

[Dark_Soul74]

But, you forget, fenguins can fly!

Also, I'm a soul, so 'GGNORE' tidal wave.

[Valjean]

Werewolf'z technoligy kept adapting and adapting to the constant changes and erosions.

He soon got them to evolve into the Perfect Mech. This mech then charged at ZeroDarkStar and shot several Ion cannon shots. Soon, I start bumbarding him with shots. Every second, the speed of the firing increases and more guns are formed. Soon, ZDS is in a storm of Ion Cannon blasts.

[Dark_Soul74]

I instantly bribe a mod to change all of W91's posts into saying:
"I seem to have lost my virginity. Can I borrow yours?"

[ZeroDarkStar]

lol Dark_Soul. I have an Ion resistant suit.

I bribe an admin to end life as we know it.

[Valjean]

However, I save all the posts beforehand and then every time a mod edits my posts, I edit them back.

Then I continue shooting ZDS.

[ZeroDarkStar]

All of your shots backfire, destroying your suit, and some are sucked into the space-time continum, ready to return to destroy any other suit you obtain.

[Valjean]

However, I use my demonic powers to fling all the shots from the space-time continum to ZDS and then I use a single nano-bot to rebuild my perfect mech. I then use my sheild generator to repell any other attacks similar to the one I just faced. I then start firing again at ZDS just like I did before and none of the shots backfired.

[ZeroDarkStar]

God.

Is your single purpose in life to destroy me?

Suddenly Werewolf is attacked by an indestructable, machine-gun toating robot, who cannot be harmed, moved, teleported, modified, subdued, shut-down, reprogrammed, or changed in any way, shape, or form. He also casts a status field around you, completely shutting off all nerves in your body. Only vital organs are spared. This feild also prevents you from moving, teleporting, attacking, changing, casting any spells, using any nanobots, controlling any object, or anything other than breathing and having a pulse.

You can also not change time, or past events.


Ha.

[Valjean]

suddenly, my brother comes and starts fighting the robot. As he is, the robot is distracted and the field is lifted. I then rebuild a nano-bot and then soon it builds a swarm. The nano-bots swarm the robot and perfect it in everyway and it still has the same properties. Then Werewolf fusses with his brother, a vampire, to become...Werepire!

Werepire then jumpped into the robot and was placed in the control compatment so nothing Werepire wouldn't want would happen to him or anything else.

The new Perfect Mech with Werepire inside turned to ZDS.

"You are powerful. Do you wish to form an alliance?"

[ZeroDarkStar]

Hey, I was gonna ask that!


"Okay, sure."

[Valjean]

"Okay, so now that we are allies..."

suddenly, another robot appeared and it grabbed ZDS and placed him inside it.

"Now we can kill all who stand in our way."

[ZeroDarkStar]

Starts screaming and kicking.

"No! Don't take me! I dont want to go!!!!"

"Oh. You're a friendly robot. Good robot."

[BSTRhino]

/me comes in, looking for the soda.

"Ah, I can't find the lightswitch... oh, here's the fridge."

I open the robot's chest. Man, what's a guy in skates doing in the fridge?

"ZeroDarkStar???"

[ZeroDarkStar]

Um, I was looking for a sandwich, and I fell in?

^_^

[xer0_k00l]

/me casts Curaga on everyone.

[BlackHawk]

BH, goes online and searches google for "WTF IS CURAGA??" and waits patiantly to find a good definition.

----------A few hours later---------

BH thinks xer0 made it up.

[OboeGuru]

/me casts anti-Curaga and all the Curaga is destroyed, thus eliminating the problem of "what is it?"

[BlackHawk]

BH thanks Oboe, then shoots him.

"Heh, I'm so evul..."

[OboeGuru]

"Foobag!"

*/me deletes your acct. @ Fenguin and bans your IP*

"Bwahahahahaha, I am the ultimate evil!!!" ;)

*/me slits your throat with my last ounce of life before keeling over dead*

[BlackHawk]

Using my L337 hax0r skills I re-initiate my account and make it an admin at Feng, then I go all Neo style and block your knife before it slits my throat, though it pierces through the side of my hand. You smile as you think you've done some damage, but your smile wavers when my wounds begin to heal themselves before your eyes.

[OboeGuru]

*jams an adamantium hose into your heart so it flows and solidifies within your entire body*

[BlackHawk]

BH sheds his body, and his soul moves forth, into Oboe's consuming his mind and soul. Before him his old body wilts, and soon after disintegrates into dust that is cought by the wind, and taken on a natural rollercoaster.

"Nice body, shame I have to take it from you."

[OboeGuru]

My soul integrates with Unicron and I start eating the planet, Transformers Movie intro-style!

[Fenguin]

A big fenguin comes and eats Oboe. This fenguin is invincible and omnipotent. But then he spits Oboe out because Oboe tastes like crap. The fenguin then leaves. Small fenguin-nanobots come and start eating the planet.

[OboeGuru]

Unicron/Oboe eats all the fenguin-nanobots and tranforms to robot mode. /me micks the planet, making a gaping hole straight to the core which make the planet environmentally unstable as well as shooting it out of its orbit and many megameters/sec. Unicron/Oboe then engages in an epic battle with the big fenguin.

[Fenguin]

But the big fenguin already left. And the fenguin-nanobots start disassembling the inside of Unicron/Oboe. :D

[BlackHawk]

"Man, all they want to do these days are destroy the earth, gawd" mumbled BH, frustrated. He looked up at the large Oboe / Unicron, then at the world around him. With a quick wave of his hand, the earth is transformed back to it's whole self, and Oboe / Unicron is shrunk back to normal size.

"That's enough from you" said BH, before flicking his wrist. At the same moment a cage slowly appeared around Oboe / Unicron, trapping him for eternity.

[OboeGuru]

No, upon eating they are instantly melted down in a boiling lava pit where not even bacteria or virii can survive.

Unicron/Oboe starts after the big fenguin and drags cannon-mode Galvatron with him as a plaything/weapon.

[MacG]

*MacG starts to build a straw house to protect itself from the big bad wolf.

[BlackHawk]

BH walks up to the almost completed straw house and blows. It falls to the ground.

"So evul..."

[ZeroDarkStar]

ZeroDarkStar shoots BH in the face.

[BlackHawk]

BH catches the bullet in his teeth. "Owwww, my molar, god dammit."

He pulls out a sawed-off shotgun and shoots ZDS in the face from point blank range. ZDS flies back a few feet, landing in a patch of mud.

[Valjean]

Werewolf punched BH in the back as he was distracted with the ZDS halogram because the real ZDS was in his mech.

Werewolf then shot blillions of Ion Cannon blasts twards BH.

After this, both Werewolf and ZDS's perfect mechs changed. They turned into Giant Star ships. The huge ship then launched (by themsleves) millions upon billions of small fighter ships.

[MacG]

"Nooooo! My Straw House!"
*MacG Starts to build a brick house.

[Fenguin]

The fenguin-nanobots eat even more of Oboe. Then the big Fenguin builds himself a mouth and then pukes on Oboe. :D

[OboeGuru]

The fenguin-nanobots eat even more of Oboe. Then the big Fenguin builds himself a mouth and then pukes on Oboe. :D
*cough* Did you read my post? They can't eat me.

/me attacks the giant mech/starships with my laser/ion cannon breath.

[Valjean]

*watches as attack hit a bar on the cage*

[OboeGuru]

What cage? And if there was a cage around the ships, no little starfighters could get out. Ha, your logic is t3h suxx0r. The attack hits Werewolf's ship and destroys it because he needs to die eventually, it's not good RP manners to make yourself invincible.

[Valjean]

No, becuase you didn't take the time to go back and read, the attack hits the cage as punishment.

"Man, all they want to do these days are destroy the earth, gawd" mumbled BH, frustrated. He looked up at the large Oboe / Unicron, then at the world around him. With a quick wave of his hand, the earth is transformed back to it's whole self, and Oboe / Unicron is shrunk back to normal size.

"That's enough from you" said BH, before flicking his wrist. At the same moment a cage slowly appeared around Oboe / Unicron, trapping him for eternity.
YOUR cage. =P

pwned.

[OboeGuru]

Crap, I missed that one. :(

Anyways, some of the attack would still go around the bars, so something hit you nonetheless.

/me keeps attacking Werewolf's ship/mech.

[Valjean]

Several fighters swarm infront of the blast to block. Soon, the blasts get through and almost hit the ship. However, they seem to vaporize 3 meters away from the ship.

"I have bigger, much stronger sheilds, not to mention my ship armor is impervious." grinned werewolf to himself.

[ZeroDarkStar]

I hit Werewolf's ship with a frying pan and it falls apart.

=P

[OboeGuru]

/me temporarily leaves Unicron's body to board ZDS's mech/ship to unscrew the 3 screws and cut the 14 rubberbands that are holding it together. :p

[BlackHawk]

BH picks up a rubber band, threads it through his hand like those gun things, and shoots Oboe in the head.

[Valjean]

Frying pan zaporizes on contact with sheild. Werewolf decides to leave his super technoligy out of his fighting because the others could not handle the heat.

Werewolf would now be fighting with demonic powers.

[OboeGuru]

*rubber band becomes lodged in my head. /me starts running around in a circle screaming*
Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye............... *runs through airlock and explodes once outside the ship*

ooc: You see werewolf? That's the whole point of this thread, to die in creative ways while also warring in creative ways. The keyword is "die" as in what you should've done long ago. Don't make me give a "special salute" to your "super technology".

[Valjean]

*pokes Oboe and runs and hides behind Mr. Fluffles*

[BlackHawk]

BH shoots mr. Fluffles. Mr. Fluffles burst into a cloud of downy feathers. BH starts sneazing when he realizes he's allergic to down feathers "blast."

BH falls over dead. Werewolf pokes him with a stick and BH starts blabbering "I dun wanna go to skool. INA MINUTE!"

"Oh, just sleeping" says Werewolf.

[Valjean]

Werewolf runs over to his school bus and beeps the horn, trying to wake Blackhawk.

Werewolf then snickered under his breath, "So evul..."

[OboeGuru]

/me runs up and kicks BH in the shins and runs away.

"Tehehehehehehe!!!"

[Mattimeo]

*Points a laser at OboeGuru's command center*

Nuclear Launch Detected

[OboeGuru]

Nuclear Launch Detected
"CRAAAAAAAAAAAP!"

/me puts head between legs and kisses ass goodbye.

*BOOM*

Armegeddon in 7.

[Valjean]

Werewolf is killed in the explosion and he thinks the sleeping Blackhawk is too. But then Werewolf respawns.

"So...evul...."

[OboeGuru]

/me respawns and builds a nuclear warhead (underground) to launch at Mattimeo.

I accidentally kick a large scrap of metal onto the head of the missile and it explodes.

*BOOM*

Armegeddon in 6.

As I respawn I think, "Note to self: don't make warhead detonators extremely touch-sensitive."

[Valjean]

*makes super sensitive warhead and carefuly places it it Oboe's pants*

*giggles and runs away*

[BlackHawk]

BH respawns. "WTF A MAN CAN'T TAKE A BLOODY NAP WITHOUT THE WORLD BEING DESTROYED NOWADAYS!!!!" BH spazzes.

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

He runs wildly around, flailing a spoon.

[OboeGuru]

*makes super sensitive warhead and carefuly places it it Oboe's pants*

*giggles and runs away*
"You bastard!"

Equally carefully removes warhead and lobs it at BH's spoon.

[Valjean]

*catches with 00ber ninja powers and places it in Oboe's pants again and this time attaches a chain to Oboe's ass*

*runs away giggling*

[T-Dawg]

flys back onto the scene with a flying kick straight into werewolf's face.

*pulls out sword* on guard!

[Valjean]

*takes sword and carefuly places it in Oboe's pants*

*runs away giggling and hides*

[Mattimeo]

*dies in his own explosion*

*respawns and makes a mental note*

[OboeGuru]

/me uses sword to cut chain and carefully sticks warhead in Werewolf's left nostril.

/me also uses sword to begin epic duel with T-Dawg.

"En guard! Tu échoues à la vie!"

[Valjean]

*carefuly places warhead in the center of Oboe's brain*

*wakes up to the smell of pancakes*

[T-Dawg]

*whistles to himself*

This could get messy. T-Dawg whips out his other sword... that he.. some how had...

"bring it, oboe."

and with that the two warriors interlock in an elaborate sword fight.

[Mattimeo]

*goes into matrix mode*

*jumps into mid-air and kicks T-Dawg in the face during a 360 degree pan*

[OboeGuru]

/me slices off both of Mattimeo's legs at the knees.

"I'd like to see you try that now! So evul..."

/me pulls out another sword as well and attaches the two together, Exar Kun/Darth Maul style.

"Come and get me T-Dawg! You've got nothin'!"

[BlackHawk]

Jumps into the coding station thing (oh teh matrix ships) and disables Capt. Hair's matrixillity. "Muwahahaha."

Walks into the white room. "WOOSH." All the guns come and BH pciks up a shotgun.

Walks out of the Matrix set and back onto the War Thread set. Cocks the shotgun...."BAM"

The shotgun blasts back T-Dawg and Oboe, sending both onto their butts a few feet away. BH turns and shoots another shot into Werewolf's face just as he notices the warhead stuck into Werewolf's nostril. "Oh, dam--"

"BLAMMO"

The nuke get's set off, killing everyone.

BH respawns with shotgun still in hand. "Tehee, so evul."

[Mattimeo]

BAHAHAH! *uses matrix agent powers to regrow legs*

You took away Capt.Hair's matrix powers, but I am Mattimeo! Greater than Captain Hair!

[OboeGuru]

/me and T-Dawg respawn back in our epic battle, but /me takes a quick sidestep.

"BH, you sonuvabitch, I'll get you for shooting me!"

/me screams loudly and transforms into Super Saiyan Oboe.

"KAMEHAMEHA!!!!!"

Energy blast vaporizes BH and sends him to the Home For Infinite Losers with the annoying blue and red demon guys.

[Subjukator]

*Jumps into the fray without reviewing the thread and starts throwing hot cakes on everyone*

"FOOD FIGHT!! ALLAH!! ALLAH!!"

[OboeGuru]

/me glares at Subjukator.

"You're next... Masenko HA!!!"

Subjukator also vaporizes and appears in HFIL.

[BlackHawk]

Lies down to sleep :p.

[OboeGuru]

/me powers down and redraws double bladed sword. I start spinning it around, trying too look all cool and stuff, but it slips out of my hand and flies into a goat, which goes to HFIL because it was a bad goat. It falls from the sky with the blade protruding from it, and the blade plunges straight through BH's forehead.

"Crap, so much for my weapon. Not too bad of a consequence though." :D

Don'cha just love me? ;)