How many five-year-olds...

[hammocksleeper]

Haha my dad emailed this to me this morning :) Hilarious.
If you want to see the original (I recommend it) check out: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1556673&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=9&o=14&fpart=1&vc=1.


The question: How many 5-year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
You are not allowed to touch a wall.
When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I'm guessing I could take on maybe forty or fifty, considering that you get to pick the kids you want out a larger group.

[BlackHawk]

I could probably do the same. When I was going to pick them I would stand around observing there behavior together, I would listen to their conversations, etc. Then I would pick the one's that talked about 'geeky' stuff, because stereotypically they're weak. Then again, I might just go "You, you, you" in random order just to get it over with xD.

[Geno]

But they're all virtually the same, minus who gets more out of training...

I'd probably guess I could take on about 20-30 without feeling bad... After that, I'd probably be screwed.

If I really tried, I could pull off about 40-50, and that's digging for my old martial arts.

~Larry "Geno" Meyers
- BI's RP forum Aide

[BlackHawk]

But they're all virtually the same, minus who gets more out of training...

Then I would resort to the "you, you, you..." method. Also, while I was in the fight I would pick up one and wield him like some sort of freakish sword xD.

[wraizyr]

Whatever number leaves me enough space to always be moving quickly; as long as I can engage in guerilla type tactics (Modified for hand to hand combat in an open space), I'm confident I can take on a large number.

[Dark_Soul74]

Small children are remarkably vulnerable to being kicked in the face.

[Ender]

Well, it all depends on their tatics. It could be as low as five. If I don't notice two of them get behind me on their hands and knees right behind my legs and the other 3 bullrush me, I'd probably hit the ground, but not necessarily unconcious. Otherwise... prolly around 50. I've been doing martial arts from two multi-time National Champions for many years, and have a few gold medals under my belt as well.

[Protoss_Honor]

hey have you guys ever been mobbed by a bunch of 5 year olds? i have and they play mean. really mean. but if you could actually hurt them without getting shouted at by their parents or your parents maybe i could take 10 maybe 15 i doubt 20

EDIT: then agian if i used one as a sword of sorts (really whacked sword) i could take maybe 30

[FeralKhan]

Hahaha, that has simply got to be the best hypothetical question I heard in a long time.

Hmmm, I guess I could take on a substatial amount by simply picking up one of the little buggers with one hand and smashing him/her on all the others. On the other hand, just because they are so tiny does not mean that you should underestimate them...trust me, a hoard of five year olds is far more formidable than you might think.

Judging by the conditions presented, I would have to guess 50-60, though the only real way to find out would be to try it yourself in real life (tommorrow's project of the day?).

[GrassDragon]

The object is to beat them up, right? Can't be that hard, I could take quite a few I think.

[Zeltaris]

Well, if you consider my age -I'm 4 years old :/- I guess I'd be in for a massive arsewhooping o_O

[SpeedyWorm1]

It depends on how much good the day of training did.If they used a strategy to like box me in and dogpile me i would lose fast.But if they didn't I could take 2135483496 of them by just running around .

[Battlecruiser]

Probably 35-40. As long as I have room to move, and unless I start getting tired of stepping on them, it shouldn't be a problem.

[uchafu]

Hahahaha...Well with my capoeiran abilities (the few deadly spins I remember), I could easily take 'bout 35 little suckers. And my bad skills with dealing with children would also help, as most of them drive me crazy. So just to see a bunch of 5-year-old boys would drive me insane and I would start kicking some serious ass.

[BlackHawk]

The object is to beat them up, right? Can't be that hard, I could take quite a few I think.

Beat them to unconciousness actually. But almost the same.

[UnHoly-Assassin]

I wonder if backing into a corner would be a good strategy. That way noone can sneak from behind. I could kick real high, and a few roundhouse kicks on the temples should be able to knock them out. I'd say only about 10-15, because in the beginning I would be VERY aggressive, but I get tired out quickly. The key areas to hit would be the side of the head, the stomach, or the back of the head. I hate it when they bite though; I believe jaw muscles are the strongest muscle in the body except maybe for the tongue. If they try to dog-pile one me I'd have little chance to dodge it but I should be able to escape it via brute force. Unless they start biting of course, then I could expect a few nasty bruises/cuts. BTW can you use a belt as a whip?

Again, I would be able to take on about 10-15

[Protoss_Honor]

hey yeah can we use foreign(sp?) objects not made of five year olds?

[hammocksleeper]

hey yeah can we use foreign(sp?) objects not made of five year olds?

There are no foreign objects in the area to be used.

[Protoss_Honor]

okay how about we use their clothes to smothetr them and tie them up and stuff?

[CODEZERO]

well....i could probably take alot of them maybe all of em
1)ive been in kung fu and tae kwan doe for 3 years
2)in grade 3-4 i dislocated a racist's rib
3)i get pretty violent when im mad
4)i am very atheletic

[DragonPaladin]

A lot of factor in this. I'm around 13
Well, I move fast and hit fast, but I tire after more than a few minutes. I'm guessing I could knock out a couple in the first 30 seconds. I specialize in chest high kicks, so I could probably take out a couple. Pressure points would drop a few I guess. Think, do you really think 5 year old kids would listen CAREFULLY in a tactics class? I mean, someone over 10 might, but not a little kid. They would probably be more interested in "the funny man there".

Here is what I'll do.

1. First, plead with them. Offer them candy or something(What...5 years olds can be bribed!)

2. Doesn't work. I'll take one and beat him thoroughly. (Set an example for any else.)

3. Beat a couple more. (Shouldn't be too hard, aim for their faces. Mess them up properly.)

4. If they all swarm on me, it's CARNAGE TIME!!! (I'll aim for everything, use kids against other kids. Use some kids as battering rams, others as shields. I'll use the knocked out kids as barricades against the remaining kids. I'll throw kids in the wall. I'll taunt them until they get into a rage. People in a rage are powerful but hasty and don't aim properly.)

5. Techniques:
a. Disarm them. (I could probably disarm two of them with just my arms. Elbow lock them and such.
b. Psychological Effect (Beat them, throughly. Kick the living crap out of them. Hit them when they are down.)
c. Use the tools you have. (They say you don't have any tools, we have the kids. Throw kids into the wall, throw them into other kids, use kids as living shields/barricades, use their clothing against them. Tie the clothing into a rope. Use the rope to whack their faces. Blind them. Jab fingers into their ears. Scream loudly and primitive. Make Chinese kung-fu sounds and imitate stances. If they've seen Jacky Chan in action, they'll be scared.
d. Make lots of noise. Scream in their faces as you're pummeling them. Kick them when you step over their bodies. Make them regret even crossing you.
6. Pressure points.
a. Temples
b. Knees (Kick their knees to lock in, and then smash down with your elbow.)
c. Damage their inner thighs, cripple the muscles.
d. Elbow in their faces, especially with the pointy parts.
e. Your fingers are deadly. Stick them up nostrils, ears, eyes, and any other body orifice you can find.
f. Straighten your foot out to form a dagger-shaped object. Leap at their chest.
g. If they grab hold of a limb, hold them there and then smash their face in with your other limbs. Or if they have both arms, crack their faces together.

IN CASE YOU GET TIRED>>>

Think about the carnage, the people who died so you could have the freedom to beat the living crap out of these kids.

Stand a little to the wall and when they come, guide their face to Mr. Wall. Stand on a couple of them to form a platform. Use everything and I mean everything.

Note. What say you? I'd take 50, probably not to beat them all, but so I can go all out without stopping until I myself tire from exhaustion.

[TheGreatBrain]

30? 40? 50?!?!? There's no way just one grown man could take on more than 15 (unless they all have muscular dystrophy or something). They're people, not bags of packing peanuts.

[Vhaeraun]

First, those saying to stand near a wall are complete morons.

You are not allowed to touch a wall.

Standing near a wall is good enough for the kids. If they listened, all they would have to do is push you into the wall and you're done. Now, I may not be the most atheletic person, but I can do some mean things with a staff (You should see me practice. Ho ho man. That is fun to do). While I cannot use any outside stuff, I would easily be able to knock one unconsious and use him and a staff. True, it may be a 60 lb. staff, but a staff none the less. The more I spun him around, the easier it would become for me, and I could probably take out 20-30 that way without getting knocked out. After that length of time, my arms would be tired, so I would have to forfeit the human staff for a much better alternative: Random martial arts moves. Kick them in the face, aim for their nuts and by all means beat them in the stomach and chest. If you hear bones break, then they are probably out of it for a while. Continue until unconscious from exaustion or the overwhelming swarm.

Judging from this, I would probably say I could take maybe 50-60 with relative ease. Any more than that would be pushing it.

[Protoss_Honor]

i have stupid question: why would anyone want to beat up a bunch of 5 year olds anyway?

[Nahotnoj]

Hmm... that's actually not so much of an easy question... since I don't have much experience in actuall real-life fights, I can't give any number/range, but I can imagine I could take at least a few, given the martial arts that I know.

i have stupid question: why would anyone want to beat up a bunch of 5 year olds anyway?

beats me.

[DeltaForce]

LOL, you guys are so arrogant. i would pull out my martial arts and shit. ohhh, yes, i believe that. maybe you could easily take a full grown man with it, even two, but 30 kids?!?! ya, no

5 yr olds. ever had to baby sit around 10 of them? most likely not. don't, they'll kill you even without the traning. we're talking 30 kids here, not a few.

all this shit about throwing them around and beating one as an example, HAHAHAHAHAHA, ya, rite, no. they're not afraid of anything, and, while you're wasting your precious time "beating" on one of them, the rest will kill you. biting you everywhere, you're in deep shit. they lach on tighter then leeches and throwing them? that takes aproximitly 3-5 seconds to A)smoke him so he doesn't wack/bite you while you try to pick him up and then actually picking him up and then throwing him/her

[DragonPaladin]

Give me a sturdy pole, no more than 3 feet and I can whip the crap out of at least 20.

You have to hit more than one at a time. You have to be everywhere. Never stick in one place so that get on you. Use them to hit each other. Think of each of them as a weapon.

You've never really seen anyway beat the crap becuase they're mad? It's fun! Try it!

[Vhaeraun]

ONLY 3 Feet? Please. I wouldn't ask for anything less than 6. My staff is 6 feet long, 1 inch in diameter, and has the middle 3 feet wrapped with leather. Kick ass thing. Anyway, give me any staff 6+ feet long and 1 inch in diameter and 30-40 would be down with ease. My staff fighting technique is impeccable (true it could be better, but I've been using a staff as a weapon for a few years, so I got the basics down as easily as riding a bike)

[EdvardMunch]

Oh I've already done that. Here's a picture (I'm the one in yellow):

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2003/10/07/kill_mob3.jpg

Those brats put up more of a fight than I thought they would.


Honestly, I doubt I could take on too many. Sure, I could kick and hit quite a few of them, but the sheer numbers would be overpowering. As soon as one of them gets within stubby hand range, s/he'll grab onto me and throw me off balance, which will distract me and allow the others to catch up and rip me apart. I'd say I could probably take on 10-15 at once.

Now if I had a manatee helping me out, I'd be indestructable.

[DragonPaladin]

If I couldn't take out that many, I will love to just beat the sheer crap out of those kids. I've never been violent and all this pent-up rage is just begging to be released. Well, I better stall it by playing Starcraft.

[Erwinator]

I could take them all, unless they kick me in the unholyest of holys.

[UnHoly-Assassin]

I work best in the dark. If I could, I would just turn off the light switch if there were no open windows with sunlight coming in. Then I would wait a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, and the kids would be too uncoordinated to attack me all at once. Then I would pick them off one by one, and try not to let out too much sound too; theres no need to play marco polo. Once I think i've killed..erm...knocked out them all, I would turn on the lights to see if anyone survived. Then I'd just finish them off.

[DragonPaladin]

Yea, I think they were see you too...Unless you have ocular implants or "cat" eyes. Which I don't think you do...

[UnHoly-Assassin]

They'd be too confused to distinguish me from the others. They might even attack each other, which is part of what I'd be hoping. Besides my eyes would adjust to the dark faster, giving me more time.

[DragonPaladin]

You seem like a vampire...Anyway, it's not that hard to distinguish a 6-foot tall teenager from a 3-4 foot tall kid. They were attack the biggest thing there is. But you are right, they would attack the nearest thing.

[Protoss_Honor]

to me this thread seems just wrong. I mean beating up little five year olds? what is with us people?

[DragonPaladin]

They are small. They are evil. They are children. I think that says it all. *Began choosing various poles.*

[Kamikazie190]

I'm going with 25ish. Sure, I can beat the crap out of them easily, I'm not too fast but I hit hard and have a hell of alot of stamina behind me, it'll take quite a bit to get me down (I had to walk to a hospital, 2 miles, with a dislocated kneecap once. Beat that, sucka.) I could probably injure a good 40 of them, but knocking them out is a great deal more difficult. If it was a life-death situation, bring it, otherwise I wouldn't have the heart and I'd probably push them all away until they swarmed over each other on to me.

And guys, the jumping spin kicks to hit them in the temple? They're 5, you can like... knee them in the face.

[DragonPaladin]

Yes! Always the face. Mess up their face so they'll need plastic surgery to look ugly!

OOC: Help me! This thread is making me violent. All I can think about is hitting people!

[Protoss_Honor]

or just get down on your knees and punch them in the face.

[Calibur]

Oh I've already done that. Here's a picture (I'm the one in yellow):

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2003/10/07/kill_mob3.jpg

Those brats put up more of a fight than I thought they would.


Honestly, I doubt I could take on too many. Sure, I could kick and hit quite a few of them, but the sheer numbers would be overpowering. As soon as one of them gets within stubby hand range, s/he'll grab onto me and throw me off balance, which will distract me and allow the others to catch up and rip me apart. I'd say I could probably take on 10-15 at once.

Now if I had a manatee helping me out, I'd be indestructable.

Funny you didn't strike as the kind of person who would be a hot ass kicking blonde.

Anyways one to the five year olds.

To tell you the truth I don't really know, I mean what if the little bastards start biting you, I mean at first one bite wouldn't be much but after a while they add up. In the end I'd say I could take about 10-15, at the beginning I would just use a sort of cavalry tactic, which would basically be running at them making sure to knock some of them down then run away and then run back again. After I get them down to 5 I would kick a couple and choke the last one.

Lol I just noticed some people talking about using staffs, heck if I could ask for a weapon I'd just get an AK and mow them all down in a few seconds.

[Protoss_Honor]

man we are evil vile and sick people j/k. but seriously would you really do any of that stuff to a bunch of 5 year olds. (i might for the right amount of money)

[Kamikazie190]

As I said myself, I would if it were life and death. Life and serious injury don't even count in that, I do have a heart, contrary to popular belief.

And yeah, getting on your knees and punching them would probably work too... anybody realize it'd really only take like 1 good hit to knock out a FIVE year old? common guys, we could all take on hundreds. Just think Neo.

/me eats your soul.

[Protoss_Honor]

not hundreds cause the would swarm you and proly beat you bye the sheer force of their numbers like you might be able to take 30 which I doubt but maybe you could any more than that with just your body andf no foreign objects you would be crushed by their numbers. more later got to go

[Kazansky]

I would simply grab one and use it as a weapon to swipe at all of the other kids.
...
...
...
Why are you all looking at me like that?

[DragonPaladin]

Would I do it?

A. Meet a bunch of random 5-year olds who are annoying. I wouldn defintely not do anything if they are just bothering me. I can never be annoyed. I would never hit people without provacation.

B. The children are agressive. If it is not life-threatening, I would stun them. If they really wanted to kill me, I would run like hell!

C. They actually set up an arena for me to do it, with all protection and stuff as a contest. Beat the lviving crap out of them.

[Kazansky]

I wonder how you would all fare against THESE five-year-olds...

http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/images2/child_soldiers_xinhua.jpg

Not to mention THIS guy....

http://www.greatestcities.com/7415pic/914/CP4914.jpg/Kid.jpg

Or THIS guy...

http://www.employees.org/~slim/pics/BabyRifle.jpg

[Protoss_Honor]

yeha try taking on some of those dudes and see where it gets you... a couple dislocated shoulders, a broken rib or 5, 7 less fingers, the list goes on and on and on

[EdvardMunch]

To those of you who can take on 50 little kids at once, I ask you: How many of the kid in this article can you take on at once?

Alfie's a little belter - By JOHN COLES

KARATE kid Alfie Byrne delivers a knockout blow — after becoming a black belt at the age of SIX.

And the little belter is believed to be Britain’s youngest expert after a gruelling 90-minute exam.

Alfie was taught “sport karate” — similar to kickboxing — by his dad Ed, an instructor at a club in Indian Queens, Cornwall.

Ed, 37, said: “Ever since Alfie could walk he did punches and kicks and begged us to let him do karate.”

Terry Saxon, of the World United Martial Arts Federation, said: “He could be a future champion.”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005170400,00.html

[uchafu]

Ok...I can get some conclusion looking at your posts

1. We'd all love to beat up 5 year-old boys.

2. We brag so much about our martial arts' techniques.

3. Some have seen a LOT the Matrix Reloaded and think they can get involved in some sort of pole fighting scene with these boys. Which just makes me laugh.

NEW INTIMIDATION TACTIC: Wear a Michael Jackson mask...I think that would freak them out a lot and consequently they would not fight very good.

[Moser]

What happens if we kill them instead of knocking them out? I mean, it can't be very hard to kill a 5 year old.. knocking out and killing are similar, only like 1 kick away from each other. :P I could probably take like 30-35 of them..

[Kazansky]

THIRTY FIVE kids? Moser, try to reconsider. They're small. They can swarm on over you and hit you in the gonads really fast while theyre running under you. :p But I'd like to take on at least six.

[Moser]

Kazansky.. think about it. 5 year olds. They cry when they don't get their Tonka Trucks and Rock'em-Sock'em Robots, think what they will do when they get kicked in the ass or punched in the stomach.. I can kick and punch pretty fast, and I have quite a bit of stamina. Those little bastards are going down.

[SSA_Ultimasheep]

Wow this is horrible and funny at the same time. NOrmally i would never even think about hurting a 5-year old but if i had to i would pick the smallest one out, beat him unconcious, and grab his legs and start spinning letting momentum do the work.

[Mtank]

See, the problem with taking on 50--60 is that they would mob your legs, climnb all over you when you fall and thats the end.

to give a safe guess i might be able to take down a bunch of 25-30 kids. More than that, and their combined weight on my body when they sit on me if i fall will be too much, and i will suffocate under their butts.

[Kazansky]

Point taken, Moser. But still, give me my old crossbow and I could probably take on say... 300 of them.

[Dark_Soul74]

Keep in mind you're in a closed room.

Me + Bat = 75+ casualties.

[Kazansky]

Closed room? Ok then, get me a lead pipe. (Dammit, I know I put it here SOMEWHERE!!) I'd kill about 50 and injure 40! I'm almost positive!

[Demon_Child]

If I can perform the tornado maneuver, then I can clear half of the room while the rest of them can be taken care of one at a time. Acrobatics and rollerblading comes in handy for center of gravity and resistance to diziness while spinning around multiple times.

[DragonPaladin]

I would just whale on them like there was no tomorrow. But techniques would be useful, I guess. Depends on what you use.

Techniques for me.
Fast Punching- Move through them, floor them with one punch, don't stop. After you run through the group, repeat going the other way.

Sweeping kick- Knock a couple of them.

Intimidation factor- Yell loudly. Yell in their faces as you're beating them.

Use them against themselves- Grab their arms and punch each other with their limbs. Use their heads as ramming devices.

If all else faces, beat the living crap out of them.

[Spdstr]

I'd have to say about 16, of course I'd be too ashamed to actually fight back because I just wouldn't hit a 5 year old enough to knock em out. You'd be surprised how strong a little 5 year old could be lol.

Member,
~ Spdstr

[ZeroCross]

Considering the fact that five year olds have very low attention span, and don't take to "planning" very well, once again due to their attention span, I would say that they would go down pretty easy.

Another thing is that they won't be very strong, and If I'm in a battle position, my only threat would be any face-clawing or jabs to the eye. I personally, am pretty fucking strong, and I have an a nearly un-stoppible will-power when angered, and I can turn it on almost as easily as a light-switch sometimes.

If I starts out completely at my best, I am thinking I could take at least 70, at probably 100 at most, before wearing out. I mean, a single punch to the head from me to a five year old, and that kid is NOT getting up.

[DragonPaladin]

Now you're making me feel scared, Zero-Cross.

[TheBB]

5 year olds are like the zerg. Everything depends on their tactics. Sure, they have a day of combat training, but it's not going to do them any good unless they cooperate. The only strength they have over you is in their numbers, and they MUST utilize it. Supposing they learn some cooperating tactics in that day of combat training, you would not last long. 15 tops. Keep running? Yeah, sooner or later you're gonna get one clinging to each of your legs, for instance. That's really fucking hard to get rid of, and you're practically immobilized, and you can't kick at all. If they don't get tactical training you could probably take on several more.

[Hawthorne]

Hm, let's see how many 5 year olds could I take on if they don't bore me to death...

I don't know maybe fifty - sixty.

I'm currently training as a soccer goalkeeper and I've got grat hand reflexes, although I still need to work on my foot-coordination.

I train soccer,handball,basketball, 100 meter cross-run and from time to time I play extreme tagz
( it's a game we've invented in bulgaria. We use tennis ball and tennis rackets. Once we see someone we try to shoot the ball. If you are hit 5 times you're out, by the way don't try that at home it hurts real bad...)

I go to regular physical trainings every day I spend 2 hours there.

My only weakness, i'm 70 kilogrames, which is pretty slim, and although I'm fast as heck if the jump on me at the same time it would be hard to push 'em all off...

Hawthorne

[Dezzick]

I have quite good stamina, almost a black-belt, and a good short distance runner. I guess I could take on around 20.

[UED77]

5 year olds are like the zerg. Everything depends on their tactics. Sure, they have a day of combat training, but it's not going to do them any good unless they cooperate. The only strength they have over you is in their numbers, and they MUST utilize it. Supposing they learn some cooperating tactics in that day of combat training, you would not last long. 15 tops. Keep running? Yeah, sooner or later you're gonna get one clinging to each of your legs, for instance. That's really fucking hard to get rid of, and you're practically immobilized, and you can't kick at all. If they don't get tactical training you could probably take on several more.

I was thinking of the exact same thing before I got to this post :)

I am of average build, perhaps a little overweight, but I have no experience in fights nor martial arts. Therefore, the maximum I would take on at the same time is two.

I hear laughter. But before you condemn me as a wimp, think about it. You are dealing with children who received an entire day of rigorous training specifically designed with the intention of teaching them how to team up and take down an adult. They are well-trained, and their knowledge is recent. Considering the fact that the problem specifically mentions that they are not afraid of bloodshed and have great motivation, I think you are facing with a very serious force.

Most of you so far have bragged about taking on 40-50 of them at once. But as the fight begins, they will use the tactics that are fresh and clear in their minds, and swarm you. You might knock one or two out relatively soon, but as you focus on one of them, the 39 others will surround you in all directions. Their youth results not only in the oft-noted relative weakness, but also in great agility. They move quickly, and have access to sensitive spots on your body (ouch!). There are so many of them, that while you are preoccupied by one of them, the rest inflict unbelievable amounts of damage on you. Don't forget that weapons are not allowed. 39 against one is a quick match, and I trust I don't have to explicitly state which team will win.

To defeat them, you will need to choose a number that is low enough to prevent the swarming effect. One is ideal; two is already risky, since while you are fighting against one, the other is left to deliver a blow behind your back, which can potentially bring you down. Despite this moderate risk, I would go with two. Anything more than three is unreasonable, in my opinion.

UED77

[Griffonheart]

I could take about 30, easily. I have strong kicks from playing Soccer, and I have great stamina. Besides, just be cheap! Kick their ass with techniques DragonPaladin listed! Stomp, kick, throw, bash, smash, punch, knee, anything! But this is really sick, lol.

[DragonPaladin]

You must move fast, not be in one place at once. They see you, they attack at that spot, but you are no longer there. You must move fluidly, through the crowd, striking only those near you. UED77 has a valid point, they will swarm and they will take you down if they do. Children probably would not listen to an ENTIRE day of training, but they will catch some important details, and THAT will be your downfall.

Now in your mind, picture a group of kids, spanning a length of 2/3 the gym. They are in a thin oval. Start a the narrow tip, and move through them. As you past each of them, strike with the back of you hand, your knuckles, and your fists at their faces. Be careful as not to be near more than three at one time. Leave them no time to react. You are there, you hit them, and then you are gone. Imagine walking through them, almost carelessly hitting them in their faces. Then speed it up to real-time, running through them, striking hard at their vulnerabilities. That is the way to win.

[UnHoly-Assassin]

But as you try to speed through them, you will be completely surrounded. One trip can be fatal.

[Nuts]

The question: How many 5-year-olds could you take on at once?

When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

It seems to me that I don't actually have to exert any energy at all in this case. No reasonable amount of munchkins is going to knock me unconcious (unless I lose too much blood from ankle biting), so I can stand in a single location while the children tire from desperation. They're going to get quite bored in a gymnasium with no toys and no way out. Eventually they're all going to fall asleep. Sleep is a form of unconsciousness, thus a default win for yours truly.

Size of a baskeball court = 4700 sq feet.
Consider one child for every 4 sq feet, that would be about 1175 children.

You young punks and your martial arts wouldn't last a minute against a stoic Uncle Nuts. ;)

[Erwinator]

It seems to me that I don't actually have to exert any energy at all in this case. No reasonable amount of munchkins is going to knock me unconcious (unless I lose too much blood from ankle biting), so I can stand in a single location while the children tire from desperation. They're going to get quite bored in a gymnasium with no toys and no way out. Eventually they're all going to fall asleep. Sleep is a form of unconsciousness, thus a default win for yours truly.

Size of a baskeball court = 4700 sq feet.
Consider one child for every 4 sq feet, that would be about 1175 children.

You young punks and your martial arts wouldn't last a minute against a stoic Uncle Nuts. ;) You big pimp you.

[Modred]

Most of you seem to be forgetting you get a cup. =P

Anyway, I could not take down more than 10, unless I got lucky. Think of this: a 60 lb child on each arm and leg. That's 240 lbs of additional weight, approximately 160% of my current body weight. All they have to do is jump and grab, and I'm stuck. Yes, I could lift 120 lbs, but that's around my max benching; curls at 60 lbs per arm is a bit high for me. Maybe they'd be small kids...

I have learned the above lesson from experience. Sure, I was with 7 year olds, but there isn't that much of a difference. I figure the six 7 year olds I was with equates around ten 5 year olds, and while it wasn't difficult to keep them in line, they could take me down easily had they tried.

[UnHoly-Assassin]

You know what's really evil? Grabbing the cup, then pulling it as far out as you can, then letting go.

*SLAP!*

[Eros]

20, 30, 40? You're fucking kidding. Kids, even at that age, are stronger than you might think.

I really doubt anyone here could take more than 10.

[Graeme]

That's what I was thinking Eros. One kid hops on your back, begins pulling, others at the legs and you're down. After that the kids can take you out easily.

I came to the conclusion I could probably to 6-7 comfortably. Add a few more to spice things up a bit perhaps :).

[Demon_Child]

You young punks and your martial arts wouldn't last a minute against a stoic Uncle Nuts. ;)

But Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Nuts. :)

[FeralKhan]

Hah! If I had a penny for every time I heard the words "martial arts" or any other reference to martial arts on this thread, I would be a freakin' billionaire.

But Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Nuts.

I learned that the hard way :(

[Nuts]

But Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Nuts. :)

Just think, together we could rule the gymnasium. ;)

[Protoss_Honor]

Hah! If I had a penny for every time I heard the words "martial arts" or any other reference to martial arts on this thread, I would be a freakin' billionaire.



I learned that the hard way :( why stop at pennies why not quaters or dollars eh'?

[DragonPaladin]

why stop at pennies why not quaters or dollars eh'?

The IRS would tax our asses off...

[UnHoly-Assassin]

You know something that might work? Pick only boys and say you're ghey. They wouldn't dare get near you then.

[kongurous]

You know something that might work? Pick only boys and say you're ghey. They wouldn't dare get near you then.

Unholy, they're 5, not 12, they don't know the difference between gay and straight. Hell, it isn't even called gay and straight, those are just slang terms.

[ZeroCross]

But Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Nuts.
She's right you know ;)

Seriously, I have baby-sat for five year olds before. Guys, these are f*cking children for god sakes. Do you have any idea how weak five year olds are? If I got my adrenilne going, I would be a deadly opponent to them. My fists and tricepts are most unnaturally large and well-trained for a person of my, type...

Children that small are very weak to say, a hard blow to the head from a 21 year-old. Seriously. Even some of you guys that are 14 and such could take at least 20.

[Protoss_Honor]

Not if they gang up on you. If they gang up on you you are proly dead