Stupid Tech Support

[WeekendLazyness]

SBC DSL is my ISP. I want to sign up for a faster speed. This is what I typed to my friend in AIM, letter for letter:

WeekendLazyness: i want to upgrade my service
WeekendLazyness: i explian i currently am signed up for 384Kbps-1.5Mbps service
WeekendLazyness: i say i want to upgrade to 1.5-3Mbps
WeekendLazyness: i explian this is becuase i'm getting about 320Kbps
WeekendLazyness: btw, this was billing
WeekendLazyness: they redirect me to tech support
WeekendLazyness: the man in india tells me to open up ie
WeekendLazyness: i tell him i don't use ie
WeekendLazyness: btw, i could hardly understand him
WeekendLazyness: the tells me to clear the cookies
WeekendLazyness: that just makes me mad
WeekendLazyness: i explain to him there's no problem wiht my browser
WeekendLazyness: he explains there is no problem with the line to my house
WeekendLazyness: i explian i understand this, and i probably get the lower speeds because i am further away from the central office than the target distance
WeekendLazyness: he says we have to go through the diagnostic steps like he tells me
WeekendLazyness: i basically say i called up to see if i could get boosted speeds if i signed up for a faster service
WeekendLazyness: he thinks i called tech support by mistake
WeekendLazyness: i explain billing redirected me there
WeekendLazyness: i get pissed and say i'm done
WeekendLazyness: and he says "sorry for the inconvience" and that bullshit
WeekendLazyness: and i hang up

BTW, I want everyone to know I have nothing against Indians, I just have something against the American company that outsources its tech support to another country that has workers who don't know enough about what they're talking about.

[hammocksleeper]

Just sounds to me like he didn't know you were redirected from billing. I have been working phones for over three years and I can tell you people hate it when you redirect them around and around. My office makes a point of staying with the customer as long as possible, calling the other folks, to whom we could simply redirect the guy, ourselves on a different line while they stay on the first line. It's so much better for the customer.

[Modred]

Haha, one time my dad got a call from India for our cable company. He hung up.

I like that philosophy hammock. If only more companies would try it.

[Valjean]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/192820

[Black.Ice]

BTW, I want everyone to know I have nothing against Indians, I just have something against the American company that outsources its tech support to another country that has workers who don't know enough about what they're talking about.
That's right, fear us.

Anyways, that's funny. I had some problem upgrading to 1.5 too. The 256kbps wasn't working at 256... 1.5 works fine, strangely.

Anways, I had a similar problem.

I called FedEx a while back regarding their software that I use to print labels. It's the worst piece of software ever. Whoever designed it should be shot. It is extremely user-unfriendly and crashes 30% of the time you attempt to use it.

Anyways, I had to reinstall the software and wanted to upgrade the software to the latest version. (The Automatic update features said that there were no updates.)

I call them, and explain them that I want to upgrade. The conversation goes something like this.

Me: Hi, I'm trying to upgrade the software to the latest version.
Tech: Sure, I can help you with that.
Tech: Go to file... yada yada yada
Me: I've actually tried that - it doesn't seem to be working.
Tech: Try it again, please.
Me: Sure
Tech: What happens?
Me: (Slightly annoyed) It didn't work... again.
Tech: What does it say?
Me: "No updates can be found at the moment"
Tech: Okay, now I'm going to check your Internet connection.
Me: Sure... (Slightly confused now)
Tech: Open up IE, and go to http://www.fedex.com
Me: Ok
Tech: What do you see?
Me: FedEx home screen, select your country, yada yada.
Tech: Ok, now I'm going to check your modem.
Me: My Modem? What does my modem have to do anything with this?
Tech: (Some incoherent answer.)
Tech: Is your dial-up connection working?
Me: We have a network set up using DSL.

The Tech Than leads me through some obscure procedure that involves dial-up networking. He makes me create a connection and everything that connects to their default number or something like that. I tell them that I don't have a phone cord plugged in - which is why you're getting the message of "no dial tone".

Tech: That's your problem!
Me: Ummm... I'm not having a problem with my Internet connection. I need to upgrade the software.
Tech: Right. You need to be connected to the Internet first.
Me: I am, connected to the internet!

I than explain the network again, and everything. That's not all. The conversation continues, and I completely lose faith in FedEx:

Tech: So..., Why exactly are you trying to upgrade?
Me: We ship internationally to Canada. The newer version has support for international documentation... such as Commercial invoices, and stuff like that.
Tech: No it doesn't.
Me: Yes... it does. I've done it before, when I had the upgraded version.
Tech: Version 2.yada yada doesn't support international.
Me: Seriously though, I've done it before.
Tech: From the software...?
Me: Yeah, the newest version did it. The commercial invoice tab works, and it prints out several copies.
Tech: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Tech: How?
Me: You go to commercial invoice tab after selecting the country, and check the box. Put the commodity description, and it works.

I hear clicking on the other side of the phone.

Tech: Wow, you're right!
Me: Umm, about upgrading...
Tech: Oh, I don't think you can upgrade...

I'm quiet for a few moments now.

Me: Can I talk to your manager?
Tech: Sure, one moment.

...

The manager than tells me that she is "Tier 2" or whatever that means. I tell her the situation, but I didn't say anything about the incompetent tech. She actually knew what she was doing, and told me that the software auto-updates - and you can't manually do it.

I asked her about the option that says, "Click here to download program updates"

And she responded saying that it has no use, and it doesn't work.

...

[dunchy]

Black, sounds like you got my old call center....after i was fired :D

[Modred]

Me: We ship internationally to Canada. The newer version has support for international documentation... such as Commercial invoices, and stuff like that.
Tech: No it doesn't.
Me: Yes... it does. I've done it before, when I had the upgraded version.
Tech: Version 2.yada yada doesn't support international.
Me: Seriously though, I've done it before.
Tech: From the software...?
Me: Yeah, the newest version did it. The commercial invoice tab works, and it prints out several copies.
Tech: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Tech: How?
Me: You go to commercial invoice tab after selecting the country, and check the box. Put the commodity description, and it works.

I hear clicking on the other side of the phone.

Tech: Wow, you're right!
ROFL. That made my day. It's amazing some of the people who get tech support jobs.

[Black.Ice]

I know - it's amazing how some of the people got their jobs. When I had MSN DSL, I had a hell of a time.

ME: I ALREADY DID A DAMN POWERCYCLE!
TECH: Sir, please do it again.
ME: (After a few minutes)
TECH: Did it work?
ME: No, damn it!


I guess I have bad luck when it comes to Tech Support.