Worst College Essay, Ever [Archive]

Jedi_Templar

01-13-2005, 1:28 PM

Worst College Essay, Ever (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/image/essay/)
Why the kid didn't get a flat-out F is beyond me- 61%? WTF!

Frattimonde

01-13-2005, 1:45 PM

? Ahem, there are no images...

XTERMIN8OR1

01-13-2005, 2:11 PM

That essay really is pointless. He uses the f-word randomly, the essay is of zero historical value (even if you don't know anything about Oedipus, you realize that the writer of this load of cr*p makes false statements and, in some cases, they're even humoristic). If I were that guy's teacher, I would've given him 0%.

? Ahem, there are no images...There are. They load slowly, though. Wait longer.

Dark_Soul74

01-13-2005, 2:41 PM

lol

"This font is smaller than the last."

Frattimonde

01-13-2005, 4:44 PM

(ohh, now I can see them)

? That guy has like no brains at all if he thinks that he actually could get a grade for that piece of crap. And as for that 61%, he probably banged the teacher to get it.

TheNRz

01-13-2005, 4:49 PM

hahahaha, thanks for the laugh guys....

Mattimeo

01-13-2005, 5:00 PM

Hahaha, awesome.

My friend wrote an essay which i thought was the worst essay ever, I stand slightly corrected, although this essay was more coherent.

~Don't Panic

Jedi_Templar

01-13-2005, 5:14 PM

I think it's odd how his source includes www.tubgirl.com. Do not look it up if you have a weak stomach.

Battlecruiser

01-13-2005, 5:29 PM

Hahahaha, thats the funniest essay I ever read.

Vhaeraun

01-13-2005, 5:33 PM

LMAO

That is great. I would give him a 0 on the grading scale, but a 90 on the hilarity scale. That is funny stuff.

Thereisnocowlevel

01-13-2005, 5:34 PM

Holy crap...I feel tainted now.

bluemicrobyte

01-13-2005, 5:39 PM

I dont beleive that that was a real essay.

Schwitzer

01-13-2005, 11:15 PM

Like me, the teacher probably gave him bonus points for making the otherwise monotonous job of grading heaps of essays somewhat amusing. And you've got to admit, his spelling, grammar and random facts weren't that bad, either ;)

LordAhriman

01-13-2005, 11:36 PM

I would have believed it was real if the teacher hadn't referred to him as 'Mr. Freeman.'

Also, I have submitted essays/completed assignments in this manner in the past when I haven't been at all prepared. I once read another college essay where a guy wrote a parody of Bram Stoker's Dracula that started off normally and then gradually degenerated into a rant about the writer's penis; he got a 91.

GrassDragon

01-13-2005, 11:37 PM

Yeah I read it a few days ago, so funny. Tubgirl in works cited is just too funny XD

RogueRed2

01-14-2005, 12:25 AM

LOL!!!!!!!

I was literally laughing my ass off and my mom came in and asked if I was crying ^___^

Great link man, great link.

<3

Eros

01-14-2005, 12:40 AM

This is page 3.

LMFAO

Ragnarox

01-14-2005, 1:42 AM

Whoa, man. I have never seen an essay that vulgar, maybe its because I've never seen a vulgar essay.

I almost feel sorry for the student for writing it, I hope they have a chance to redo it.

Nahotnoj

01-14-2005, 11:32 AM

XD

roflmao

(None of this makes sence. again, don't worry, its a folk tale not a god damn oxy clean commercial)
classic.

I would have believed it was real if the teacher hadn't referred to him as 'Mr. Freeman.'
yeah. It should have been "Mr. Anderson". XD

singo

01-14-2005, 11:59 AM

well bugger me with a fishfork (not literally!)

that is just...erm...odd.

but nice and pointless though

Basan

01-14-2005, 12:49 PM

*Roffl* Ahh, another thread that made my day... uhm... simply brighter. :D

Modred

01-14-2005, 11:09 PM

Well, he did manage to squeeze in the story of Oedipus Rex...albeit in a very distorted and unorthodox method. It does seem rather fake, but to summarize: ROFL.

Thereisnocowlevel

01-15-2005, 12:12 PM

This man was not Oedipus, mainly because he was a f*cking douche bag...this is my thesis statement
*Wipes a tear from eye* God, that was funny.

Mindslaver

01-15-2005, 12:29 PM

I liked the red page.

But is that really a teacher's handwriting?

Basan

01-16-2005, 11:15 AM

But is that really a teacher's handwriting?

Nah, it's only part of the prank. But if it really is, I've had better writting when I was left handed. :rolleyes:

Black.Ice

01-16-2005, 4:54 PM

Heh, that was good. I like how Dr. Dre is thrown in there.

hammocksleeper

01-16-2005, 5:06 PM

It's obviously fake. Page four: no self-respecting English teach would allow himself to misspell the word "too."

But it's very funny, saw it a few weeks ago. :)

kongurous

01-16-2005, 7:25 PM

Mr. Freeman? As in Gordan Freeman?[/too_much_Half_life_2]

Basan

01-17-2005, 8:16 AM

It's obviously fake. Page four: no self-respecting English teach would allow himself to misspell the word "too."

But it's very funny, saw it a few weeks ago. :) This (http://www.warboards.org/showpost.php?p=149440&postcount=25) n' that too (see quote above).

Of course it was a prank. You fellas must begin to distinguish these stuff better... :)