Idiot of December!

[dunchy]

Welcome to another edition of "Idiot!" with me, dunchy! This one is good, so + Karma if you like it (:D I just put that in there for the BB)

MR. Anderson.
Kansas City. (haha where else eh?)

Problem: The customer is getting viruses from the cable modem.
OS: Win 2000 pro.

troubleshooting:

- Customer thinks modem is giving him a virus.
- Advised him not. Advised him the modem does not have any storage space to store a virus.
- Customer doesn't believe me because he modem into the NIC and gets viruses.
- Advised him it's not the hardware. People are infected with viruses that are scanning the network for open ports.
- His machine is wide open so anything can hit him within 5 minutes ( I even did, hehe)
- Advised him to get a firewall.
- Offered to direct to EZ firewall. Customer doesn't really care what I have to say and says he will talk to his neighbour tech who tells him the modem is giving him HDD virus. And says the viruses are smoking his tower and it's all Road Runners fault so he has to buy a new one and wants us to pay for it.


Gotta love that part of the end, wish I could have had this saved word for word, because he was arguing with the agent the whole damn time.

[Schwitzer]

As frustrating as human stupidity is, you've got to admit it's damned amusing if you allow yourself to just laugh at it. :)

[bluemicrobyte]

har har har!! did he ever learn that modems do not give comptuers viruses? Or is he still afraid of anything that is small, black and has blinking lights on it?

[Cross_Fire]

- Customer thinks modem is giving him a virus.
- Advised him not. Advised him the modem does not have any storage space to store a virus.
- Customer doesn't believe me because he modem into the NIC and gets viruses.
- Advised him it's not the hardware. People are infected with viruses that are scanning the network for open ports.
- His machine is wide open so anything can hit him within 5 minutes ( I even did, hehe)
- Advised him to get a firewall.
- Offered to direct to EZ firewall. Customer doesn't really care what I have to say and says he will talk to his neighbour tech who tells him the modem is giving him HDD virus. And says the viruses are smoking his tower and it's all Road Runners fault so he has to buy a new one and wants us to pay for it.Thats nothing, I was doing tech support one day (the main guy was sick), and I get a call from this moron (whos name will remain unknown to protect the inocent.).

Ok here is how its set up:
-This guy calls up, he says he cant get his computer to turn on.
-So, I go with him through all the things anybody could possibly imagine.
-Nothing works so, I go to the most basic thing, "Ok, have you tried pushing the power button?".
-He says to me, "Oh, no that wont work.".
-I ask, "Why wont it work?".
-And finally he says, "I have been in a black out for 3 hours now." And he has been using his cell to call me. :shiftyl:

Now that is human stupidity.... sometimes I worry if the human race will survive.:confused:

[Dezzick]

rofl Now THAT is stupid!

[Dark_Viper]

I would love a Computer with is own backup generator inside of it.

What a bunch of morons...

[GrassDragon]

I've heard a story about a black out one before. The tech support guy said to pack up the computer and send it back to him, because they were just too stupid to use a computer.

[dunchy]

I've heard a story about a black out one before. The tech support guy said to pack up the computer and send it back to him, because they were just too stupid to use a computer.

He got fired too :D

[Graeme]

I absolutely despise when my modem gives me viruses :(!

[WeekendLazyness]

Hey dunchy, are those abs in your avatar or are you just sucking it in? ;)

But back on topic, some people are so damn stupid when it comes to computers. It makes me mad.

[dunchy]

Oh those are real, that picture was taken at a grueling 5 AM in the morning. No energy to suck it in then :S

[Valjean]

To me, it looks like something is trying to burst out the sides of your stomach. O.o

Something shapped like a giant larvae. o.O

[Kahuzal]

Well dunchy, you obviously had EVERY reason to lie to him. Shame on you.

[Sikawtic]

How do you advise I block against these modem-virus's dunch? I don't wanna catch anything... it would... yeah... that was unoriginal and something similiar was already said by radlin. I'm just soooo damn bored....

:donut::cookie::donut::cookie::donut:

[mcflurry_1982]

some people should just stick to an abacus

[Valjean]

some people should just stick to an abacus
Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the abacus just used for math? O_o

[mcflurry_1982]

yes. but it is also the oldest and simplest computer. i guess if they want word processing cability they could use a typewriter.

[Vhaeraun]

some people should just stick to an abacus
some people don't know how to use one

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the abacus just used for math? O_o
yes, but if they are that stupid, why give them something complicated like a computer?

[Valjean]

yes, but if they are that stupid, why give them something complicated like a computer?
Well, mostly because...

some people don't know how to use one [Werewolf91's note: "one" as in "an abacus"]

[Dezzick]

Guess what, I want to be the new Idiot of December!

[Modred]

yes. but it is also the oldest and simplest computer. i guess if they want word processing cability they could use a typewriter.p
Well, technically it isn't a computer. The generally accepted definition of a computer is something that can make a decision based off of input data by comparing values and such. An abacus can't do that. ;)

Anyway...an abacus isn't the easiest thing to use either. If you can't figure out WindowsXP...come on...it freakin guides you through everything...

[mcflurry_1982]

yeah but no one is gonna call tech support about issues with an abacus

[Valjean]

yeah but no one is gonna call tech support about issues with an abacus
They could ask someone "How the fuck do I use an abacus?!"...

[TheBB]

(:D I just put that in there for the BB)

Appreciate it. =)

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the abacus just used for math? O_o

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the computer just used for math also? At the most basic level anyways. =)

[mcflurry_1982]

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the computer just used for math also? At the most basic level anyways. =)
thank you

They could ask someone "How the fuck do I use an abacus?!"...
that aint calling tech support

[Basan]

*Lol*

I've heard a similar but with a cell phone. It couldn't do calls and a msg said 2 her charge the phone. It was a lack of paying fees and the woman thought it was the power feeding... :rolleyes:
I rest my case. Sometimes I wonder if technology should be handed out so easily. :angel:

[crazybowlinguy]

I rest my case. Sometimes I wonder if technology should be handed out so easily. :angel:
Sorry i messed up the quote thing lol*slaps himslef* i quoted guy Basan.
HA HA you are so right. People should have to pass a basic computer test when they buy it.lol :)

Store clerk: sir can you please turn on the computer.
Customer: why?
Store clerk: because tech supports does not want idiot's calling.
Customer: Fine *turns on computer* You happy now?
Clerk:No not yet, please open word.
Customer: wtf is word?
Clerk: word as in the word porccesing program.
Customer: OH that word, *take mouse clicks the icon WORD*
Clerk: Now please type somthing and word and save it.
Customer: *types YOU ARE A LOSER* *clicks save* Anything else?
Clerk: yes please sign here saying you have passed the standardized computer test.

[KillJoY]

What was the point of that? WHY?

Anyone ever seen Zoolander? That has a great "trying to turn on the computer" scene in it. Funny move, Zoolander. Heh heh.