Hey Kids! ASK LINK!

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Got a question? Ask me and I'll give you an answer*!!! ^ ^ wHEE!!! Ph33r m-eye 1337 sk11lz!!!

-Link

*note: just because I give you "an" answer doesn't mean you should follow my advice... if you have a strange urge to do so, go out back with a shovel and beat yourself over the head several times (by several, I mean until the blood stops coming out...) until you collapse into a bloody heap!!!! Yay!

[ZeroDarkStar]

Does this thread even have a point? ;)

[LinkTheGameFreak]

No It Doesn't! I've Just Escaped From Teh Mental Hospital And Need Something To Keep Me Busy!!!!!! Next Question Mortals!

[Nahotnoj]

Why were you in the mental hospital?

[Fenguin]

Oh Great Guru of Everything, why, oh WHY is my pet eggplant nibbling on my face?!

[RoP]

Question: How do you manage to live without a brain? How do your heart, lungs, etc function without a brain?

[Uuugggg]

How can anyone not like Krispy Kreme?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Question: How do you manage to live without a brain? How do your heart, lungs, etc function without a brain?
<blank stare>...

Oh Great Guru of Everything, why, oh WHY is my pet eggplant nibbling on my face?!
Well, as everyone knows, Fenguin's face is made of cheese and everyone knows that eggplants LOVE cheeze!!!!

Why were you in the mental hospital?
Because people like you ask stupid questions...

How can anyone not like Krispy Kreme?
because you, me, kitty kats and jesus standing in the corner over there are the only sane people on the planet!

[Nahotnoj]

Why is some wierd lady without a name buying a 'stairway to heaven'? Are there more of these 'stairways to heaven' out there?

O_o

[RoP]

<blank stare>...
You know the answer? Wtf...
Tell me: you said you can answer any question and yet you falter at one of the most basic ones?

Note: Before someone says that I'm being an asshole and that I should stop, I'd just like to say that I'm only trying to prove the pointlessness of this thread. What a waste of board space. In fact, in this thread, you tried to be funny and you fucking suck at it. Stop this bullshit, man.

[Fenguin]

Why is my face so sexy yet made of cheese?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Why is some wierd lady without a name buying a 'stairway to heaven'? Are there more of these 'stairways to heaven' out there?

O_o
The old lady heard that the stairway was filled with either pirate treasure or possibly nazi gold! Only 17 exist in the world and 12 of them belong to the grand Czar of Czechoslavakia!

You know the answer? Wtf...
Tell me: you said you can answer any question and yet you falter at one of the most basic ones?

Note: Before someone says that I'm being an asshole and that I should stop, I'd just like to say that I'm only trying to prove the pointlessness of this thread. What a waste of board space. In fact, in this thread, you tried to be funny and you fucking suck at it. Stop this bullshit, man.
Because I'm extremely bored and thought this would be a good way to bring a bit of humor into my life... Now, right at this moment I've been searching for something to make me laugh and to give me a bit of pleasure when few things in life do and if you have a problem with that, then I will stop, but thank you for taking away one of the few things that gives me great joy on life - to take peoples questions, which are meant to be answered comically, and to fulfill them as such. So everyone, don't forget to thank RoP on the way out!

Why is my face so sexy yet made of cheese?
Cheese in and of itself is a natural aphrodiaiac. Allow me to post the computation for this.

Fenguin = body + head

Head = face + other crap which isn't that important

Cheese = stuff that makes girlfriend horny

Face + cheese + horny girlfriend = extremely happy Fenguin :D

[Dark_Soul74]

I'm thinking of a color 1-10. How many vowels am I holding up?

[OboeGuru]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Fenguin]

When Atlantis still existed, could the Atlantis-penguins fly?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I can answer that - only as much wood as your oboe contains. :D And your reeds too.

[LinkTheGameFreak]

I'm thinking of a color 1-10. How many vowels am I holding up?
seventeen... but if you were holding the "Q" it would have been bonus points for me and certain death for you.

When Atlantis still existed, could the Atlantis-penguins fly?


I can answer that - only as much wood as your oboe contains. :D And your reeds too.
yes and no. Only when flying north-north-east at a rate of 37.6 kilometers and hour... and when flung from a catapult....

[Graeme]

This reminds me of that 'Ask Raptor' thread back in the day . . .at least I think it was Raptor, perhaps not . . .

Hey, I've got a question . . . why do you only post in Creative Concepts? Is there something smelly about Member's Lounge?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Hey, I've got a question . . . why do you only post in Creative Concepts? Is there something smelly about Member's Lounge?
WE'VE GOT A LOUNGE?! Well, I shouldn't act surprised, I knew it was there ...but I thought it was a bathroom...

[Sikawtic]

If you eat pasta, and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

Does anti-pasta even exist?

o_O

[LinkTheGameFreak]

If you eat pasta, and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

Does anti-pasta even exist?

o_O
Antipasta is the foodule (correct terminology!) equivilant of "antimatter" or anti gravity. The anti-pasta is sort of like the evil twin of pasta that couldn't quite make it as a real food so it sought out revenge by being placed first in authentic italian resturants menus such as olive garden and giovanni's house of "heeeeyyyyyy! Get-the-fuck-in-here-and-stuff-yer-face!" The anti-pasta counteracts the pasta and results in a 28 hour battle royale in your stomach! Now that's a spicy meatball!!! :D

[Neo]

lol

lol

...

...

lol

RoP you should chill.

Would happent to know why my Moogle Lt. didnt report in earlier?

-Neo

[Battlecruiser]

How old are you?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

How old are you?
39y2924r9764942ri2378946203897. 6 (in your human years...)
on my home planet i am 18 tomorrow!!!! YEAH!!!!

Would happent to know why my Moogle Lt. didnt report in earlier?

-Neo
On his way to Warboards Moogle Lt. was sidetracked and got anally raped by pig-monkey men in the woods while wearing a pink tutu and a t-shirt that said "I'm the dominant one!!"

[OboeGuru]

Why is RoP so darn angsty, o great one?

[HackingVictim]

Why does hot air rise?

I just wanna see what he says to that one... *evil laughter*





~HV

[BSTRhino]

This is fun. Stupid but fun. Hmmm...

If the world was flat, how long would Britney Spears' marriage last?

[HackingVictim]

This is fun. Stupid but fun. Hmmm...

If the world was flat, how long would Britney Spears' marriage last?

even I could answer that ^^....

Last marriage.... 60.8 minutes.......

Hmm add the one.. subtract 8.028271284780213..... *mumble* *mumble*

38.2 minutes!

~HV

Sorry couldn't resist link =)

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Why does hot air rise?

I just wanna see what he says to that one... *evil laughter*
so all the blonde airheads in the world don't float away (no offense to any blonde airheads....)

Why is RoP so darn angsty, o great one?
Easy, because he has a 3 inch dick (erect.)

This is fun. Stupid but fun. Hmmm...

If the world was flat, how long would Britney Spears' marriage last?
Well, we're back on the airhead subject, so if the world was flat, hot air wouldn't rise, so... 13 seconds... or 2 minutes after she gets out of bed with him (whichever comes first...)

[Thereisnocowlevel]

Why has this thread become so popular?

[Magmaniac]

where did that midget stripper go to...?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Why has this thread become so popular?
because, it's a statistical fact that the masses love crap... That's why Justin Timberlake is so damned important! :D

[HackingVictim]

Why has this thread become so popular?

I Blame Clintion!


really, it's because we answer.....

[LinkTheGameFreak]

where did that midget stripper go to...?
What midget stripper? <proceeds to eat a sandwich made with 3 slices of bread, 2 slices of cheeze and 2 slices of roasted midget stripper...>

[EdvardMunch]

Why are dead baby jokes really funny?

[Magmaniac]

are they real?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Why are dead baby jokes really funny?
Do you mind if i answer your question with another question, Mr. Question-asker-guy?: How many dead babies do you see going around telling dead baby jokes? ...not many!

are they real?
That's a question you save for your girlfriend... or a crazy midget stripper (which they are not, I might add...)... or both :D

[Carnage]

Ugh... it's the MSN lesbian chat rooms all over again, huh Adrian? :P

Go in and annoy the hell out of everyone until they don't pay attention to you anymore, then just make another name...

Just go away. XD

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Ugh... it's the MSN lesbian chat rooms all over again, huh Adrian? :P

Go in and annoy the hell out of everyone until they don't pay attention to you anymore, then just make another name...

Just go away. XD...well, yeah, if you're gonna be rude and call it that... I prefer to call them "alternative living speak place thingies!!!"

[Magmaniac]

can I have my midget stripper back?
who will be the next president?
what color is my walls in this room?
what word am i thinking of?

[Carnage]

Does your boss know your surfing forums on his time? :)

[Calibur]

If I was high would I know what I was reading. (just curious :shiftyr:)

[LinkTheGameFreak]

can I have my midget stripper back?
who will be the next president?
what color is my walls in this room?
what word am i thinking of?
no.
Jesus.
Tundra.
Lemon-y

[Xenon]

What would you get if you could cross Carnage with RoP?
Would it be anything like a Fenguinator?
Can BSTRhino produce Rhinelets?
Can AJ become EJ in extreme circumstances?
Does P.Chick99 love Pee?
If she does, why does she?
How many mouthfulls of midgets does it take to beat the Bahama Mama?

[EdvardMunch]

Are they real?
Yep. Here's one:
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.

A site with every dead baby joke I've ever heard. I hope I don't need to warn you that some (all) of the jokes are a little... sick.
http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/dbj_001.htm

[Magmaniac]

wow actually that was all pretty close except the wrd i was thinking of was "Pickleweasel."
anyways
how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

[Calibur]

Why does is all this look crap funny?
Would being high have anything to do with it?
Why is George Bush president?
If youre so bored why are you here?
How old is a baby thats born dead?
How many vowels should I buy?

Edit: Answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life depends on it!!!!!
I hate your guts!!!!!
I hope you die and burn in hell, then die again and burn some more!!!!
Okay I'm done.

[LinkTheGameFreak]

If I was high would I know what I was reading. (just curious :shiftyr:)
uhm... like, no dude... you wouldn't get a chicken with 3 dicks if you sent it to the nuclear power plant.... (heh, chicken dicks...)

What would you get if you could cross Carnage with RoP?
Would it be anything like a Fenguinator?
Can BSTRhino produce Rhinelets?
Can AJ become EJ in extreme circumstances?
Does P.Chick99 love Pee?
If she does, why does she?
How many mouthfulls of midgets does it take to beat the Bahama Mama?
here's a question for you: why are you asking in rhyming couplets?

wow actually that was all pretty close except the wrd i was thinking of was "Pickleweasel."
anyways
how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Sugar: 200 shot glasses full. if not sugar, then fructose equivilant nutrasweet requires 13 gallons

Why does is all this crap funny?
Would being high have anything to do with it?
Why is George Bush president?
If youre so bored why are you here?
How old is a baby thats born dead?
How many vowels should I buy?

Edit: Answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life depends on it!!!!!
I hate your guts!!!!!
I hope you die and burn in hell, then die again and burn some more!!!!
Okay I'm done.
crap is funny because the people dictate it is so.
High = funny (look at stoners!)
Because people love crap.
Because I'm also at work.
-13 years.
all 42 of them.

[Fenguin]

Sugar: 200 shot glasses full. if not sugar, then fructose equivilant nutrasweet requires 13 gallons
What about aspartame?

Why are the plums that were in the icebox (which you were probably saving for breakfast) so sweet and so cold? And why did I eat them?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

What about aspartame?

Why are the plums that were in the icebox (which you were probably saving for breakfast) so sweet and so cold? And why did I eat them?
Dude, those were'nt plums... Carnage was drunk, came over and... well, I really don't want to tell you the truth.. so, yeah! those were plums!!

[Carnage]

If idiots were airplanes, this thread would be an airport. o_o

[LinkTheGameFreak]

If idiots were airplanes, this thread would be an airport. o_o
AND HOW!

[Thereisnocowlevel]

Give me $6?
Please?

[Calibur]

Why do Cows taste so good?

[Magmaniac]

incorrect, it takes two and a half cups of sugar to get to the moon.
why am i so cool?
what is the meaning of life?
where do we go when we die?
EL OH EL??
why did I slaughter all the n00bs?
who is michael jackson really??
why do i feel compelled to post here(this thread)?
why do i feel compelled to post here(wb)?
can you fix my broodwar cd please?
what is the largest freshwater fish?
how many lakes are there in Minnesota?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Give me $6?
Please?
...dude, i would need for you to give me something in return... (looks down, looks up, looks back down again and then realizes your a dude...) yeah, i still need something in return....

Why do Cows taste so good?
because cows taste like the magical term deemed as "good"

[BSTRhino]

Good question. I do wonder what is the meaning of life. Why didn't anyone ask that before?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

incorrect, it takes two and a half cups of sugar to get to the moon.
why am i so cool?
what is the meaning of life?
where do we go when we die?
EL OH EL??
why did I slaughter all the n00bs?
who is michael jackson really??
why do i feel compelled to post here(this thread)?
why do i feel compelled to post here(wb)?
can you fix my broodwar cd please?
what is the largest freshwater fish?
how many lakes are there in Minnesota?
1. You're not
2. 42.
3. You? Hell.
4. LE HO LE!
5. Because you're a fag
6. Diana Ross... with bad hair...
7. Refer to 5
8. Refer to 7
9. Sure. Send it to Carnage's house
10. Red Snapper (well, the ones in the polluted Little Calumet River, anyway...)
11. 1,000

Good question. I do wonder what is the meaning of life. Why didn't anyone ask that before?
Because... everyone knows that already... Jebuz Chrys!

[Calibur]

How do we know if we are real or not?

[Magmaniac]

actually the largest freshwater fish is the meking catfish and there are about 32,800 lakes in minnesota. other than that you failed pretty much all those questions. I have lost faith in your ability to correctly or at leasy humorously answer the questions, and as a result will no longer be visiting this thread. Good Bye!

[LinkTheGameFreak]

How do we know if we are real or not?
Stab yourself. If you bleed, you're not real.

[Calibur]

Stab yourself. If you bleed, you're not real.
Tryed it, brown stuff started coming out.
Tastes like chocolate.
What does it mean?

[OboeGuru]

Do you realize what you've done?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Tryed it, brown stuff started coming out.
Tastes like chocolate.
What does it mean?
IT MEANS YOU'RE THE MAGICAL CHOCOLATE BUNNY THAT THE PROPHETS FOREWARNED US ABOUT!!!!! RUNNNNNN!!!! RUNNNNNN!!!!

Do you realize what you've done?
what, gyped half of the world out of good advice? yes.

[Calibur]

Whats this funny yello stuff I've been drinking? It tastes spicy and makes me dizzy.

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Whats this funny yello stuf I've been drinking? It tastes spicy and makes me dizzy.
Carnage's come.

[Calibur]

Carnage's come.*Looks at bottle and reads label.
Oh yeah now I see it.
*Label reads: "Carnage's come"

Why are you answering all my questions?
Do they amuse you?
What color is the sky when you look at it through the ground?
Why isn't Nader ever elected?
Home come the Terminator is the governor of California?
Does if have anything to do with the funny way he talks?
Are we nuts, or are nuts us?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

*Looks at bottle and reads label.
Oh yeah now I see it.
*Label reads: "Carnage's come"

Why are you answering all my questions?
Do they amuse you?
What color is the sky when you look at it through the ground?
Why isn't Nader ever elected?
Home come the Terminator is the governor of California?
Does if have anything to do with the funny way he talks?
Are we nuts, or are nuts us?
1. because you are the only one asking
2. ...yes.
3. if underground, firey red.
4. Because, like Ross Perot, he's a douche.
5. Because Californians are no exception to the "crap" rule
6. Not particularly... Mostly his quivering biceps and his muscular physique :D
7. no. Cashews.

[Carnage]

Ha. Fresh batch coming right up. Who's thirsty?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Ha. Fresh batch coming right up. Who's thirsty?
I AM!!! WILL IT CURE THROAT INFECTIONS?!

[Calibur]

I AM!!! WILL IT CURE THROAT INFECTIONS?!
No but it will sure as helll make you forget it.

[Carnage]

I AM!!! WILL IT CURE THROAT INFECTIONS?!

Maybe. Calcium's good for ya. Cheers.

/me downs a glassfull.

Ooo... mind the aftertaste.

[Calibur]

Maybe. Calcium's good for ya. Cheers.

* Carnage downs a glassfull.

Ooo... mind the aftertaste.
I got first dibs.


Is Bush the reincarnation of Hitler?

[ZeroDarkStar]

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

:P

[Carnage]

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

:P

What Link does in the bathroom.

What makes God cry?

Same answer. ;P

[Nahotnoj]

Why do people sometimes call powerful things 'baby-eating'?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

No but it will sure as helll make you forget it.
lmao, thanx i needed that

Why do people sometimes call powerful things 'baby-eating'?
because babies are weak and eating them makes you feel strong!! DON'T YOU WANT TO FEEL STRONG?!

[Hellthane]

If these so called dead babies were actually part of a secret freemasonry-like society formed by robots with lasers and the babies per say, would you still try to eat them for strength (considering all the aggravation and the BLOODLUSTED EYES OF KILLROGG involved)?

btw, do these secret donkey-sized laser-powered robots dream of electric sheep?

i've always wanted to know..

...and, well, do you have any words of encouragement for a new(bie)comer in WarBoards like me?


damn, i gotta find myself a larger avatar..

[BSTRhino]

Hey hey there Hellthane, so glad you could join us. Welcome to WarBoards.org!

[Hellthane]

Hey hey there Hellthane, so glad you could join us. Welcome to WarBoards.orgThanks BSTRhino...i'm looking forward to becoming a part of this community.
...and hey, perhaps i can even learn a thing or two with our friend LinkTheGameFreak here.

[BSTRhino]

lol, yes, you might learn a thing or two...

*note: just because I give you "an" answer doesn't mean you should follow my advice... if you have a strange urge to do so, go out back with a shovel and beat yourself over the head several times (by several, I mean until the blood stops coming out...) until you collapse into a bloody heap!!!! Yay!

[GrassDragon]

Holy crap, this thread exploded.

So what would the babies look like from an Eminem+Michael Jackson relationship?

[Xenon]

here's a question for you: why are you asking in rhyming couplets?
I didn't. Interesting to note that when a question gets answered with a question, it's usually because the answerer has no idea of the real answer to the question. Thanks for letting me know that you don't know in an obtuse way.

Here's a question anyone can answer: Why do I know more than LinkTheGameFreak?

[EdvardMunch]

Why is it your birthday today link? (insert that birthday song that people on this board like to sing that doesn't rhyme)

[TranquilNightElf]

Happy Birthday Link :)

And tell me What horrible happenstance forced Fenguin to start humping?

[Valjean]

What would happen if on Thanksgiving in a school's kindergarden, they reinacted the Thanksgiving dinner with the pilgrums and native americans, and one kid bought the knapkins and he gave one to every person playing a native american in the reinactment, and when the knapkins are unfolded, they say, "SMALL POCKS" in red marker? :D

[LinkTheGameFreak]

What would happen if on Thanksgiving in a school's kindergarden, they reinacted the Thanksgiving dinner with the pilgrums and native americans, and one kid bought the knapkins and he gave one to every person playing a native american in the reinactment, and when the knapkins are unfolded, they say, "SMALL POCKS" in red marker? :DYou ,sir, are an idiot. Good idea though....

Happy Birthday Link :)

And tell me What horrible happenstance forced Fenguin to start humping?Thanx, and to answer your question: because Carny wouldn't give it up to him on their first date

Why is it your birthday today link? (insert that birthday song that people on this board like to sing that doesn't rhyme)Because today is the occursed day 18 years ago that marks the day 9 months hence in which my mother met that assfuck that is <sigh> my father...

So what would the babies look like from an Eminem+Michael Jackson relationship?To put it shortly, Em wouldn't stand for that shit, fo sho! But, if they did... ewwww.... then the children would probably look like Carnage after seeing his grandma making love to a vacuum cleaner (not the hose, the whole damn thing!).... <shudder>

If these so called dead babies were actually part of a secret freemasonry-like society formed by robots with lasers and the babies per say, would you still try to eat them for strength (considering all the aggravation and the BLOODLUSTED EYES OF KILLROGG involved)?

btw, do these secret donkey-sized laser-powered robots dream of electric sheep? i've always wanted to know..

...and, well, do you have any words of encouragement for a new(bie)comer in WarBoards like me?1. Yes. Babies are tasty, especially with a bit of Teriyaki sauce :D
2. No, that's only the ferret-sized lazer powered robots, but they're windup, so it doesn't really count...
3. Words of encouragement... Don't rub it, you'll only hurt yourself in the end; The sink is the high one and the urinal is the short one - badays are not drinking fountains....

[SSA_Ultimasheep]

are there really 5000 staples in the box i just bought?

How do they get those little m's on m&ms

[LinkTheGameFreak]

are there really 5000 staples in the box i just bought?

How do they get those little m's on m&ms
No, the number of staples in the box you just bought is 3; it looks like 5000 because they are really big and divided into 1666.66666666666666666666 units each

The little m's are put on by male midgets with extremely tiny genitals who get off in the shape of an "m".... The tiny "&" is put on by a tiny moose (because, as EVERYONE knows, mooses (or "meese") have hooves in the shape of a "&"...

[Nahotnoj]

How come the song "American Pie" has nothing to do with pie?

[Dark_Soul74]

Why the hell would anyone hook up with you?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Why the hell would anyone hook up with you?

I have a huge dick.

How come the song "American Pie" has nothing to do with pie?

It's about some dude and his chevy and the levee.... well, according to Led Zeppelin, when the levee breaks "You don’t know which way to go? If you’re goin’ down south..." and we all know that pie is just another euphamism for a girl's woman parts :D

[gothkitten667]

hey am i your G/f?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

yes. yes you are.

[Dark_Soul74]

Slander~!

Who would believe such lies?

[LinkTheGameFreak]

you would.

[Dark_Soul74]

Also lies.

[wraizyr]

Who would believe such lies?
The only ones who truly matter: Me and my army of world dominating, boldness-hat equipped monkeys.

[gothkitten667]

Maybe. Calcium's good for ya. Cheers.

* Carnage downs a glassfull.

Ooo... mind the aftertaste.



oh my goth EWWWWWWW

[gothkitten667]

what is the air speed of a coconut ladin swallow?

[Protosschick99]

An African or European Swallow?? :P

The only ones who truly matter: Me and my army of world dominating, boldness-hat equipped monkeys.
LOLZ!!! Boldness hat....That's great :D

[LinkTheGameFreak]

I Don't Know That!!!! <arrrrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!>

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Shit, this thread peaked at 100 posts... What can I do to get you guys to throw away precious minutes of your life by posting here?