Life's a bitch, any advice?

[peace_machine]

Yeh figure its been said before but there is room for all to slander.

My girlfriend dumped me again the other day and I just don't know what to do. Last time she dumped me was because I told her how much I cared about her, she said things were getting serious and she didn't want to get hurt. We did get back together.

She broke up with me the other day through a friend and I havn't been able to see or talk to her since. The only way I could get to her was on MSN lastnight, said she broke up with me because she is insecure. She can't stand the way I talk with her friends, aparantley I am always "flirting" and it dosn't help that one of her friends likes me.

We havn't seen much of each other latley with school/work/being sick which is one of the reasons she broke up. I asked for another chance and said we should do something on the holidays. What troubles me is that before she went she told me she loved me, I don't know if she is serious or not.

I havn't been able to do anything latley because of these damn chicken pox. School finishes for the year next wednesday and i have missed alot of my exams because of these damn spots. Chances are I won't be doing anything untill these spots go away.

I can't work which pissed the manager off, I called in sick a few times before I got chicken pox and can't work for a while. For a few other reasons I'm scared I will loose my job. I don't know if I will be able to take a week off earley next year. My nana is getting worse and older, sad to think that I might not get another chance to see her.

I just don't have any free time anymore, this is the first time in ages I have had the chance to post @ WB and all I can do is complain.

Does anybody else feel life is a bitch at times?

[Xenon]

Life is a bitch, so my advice is to grab that bitch by the titties and fuck the shit out of it before it can grab a strap-on dildo and fuck the shit out of you!

[Graeme]

Don't be so mean Carnage :(. Even if that is just sarcasm, sadness and depression aren't to be handled carelessly.

peace_machine - I wouldn't say life's a bitch at all. It may seem pretty horrible at times, but I mean, it's still better than the alternative (ie. death). Just roll with the punches and things will eventually turn around :). Good luck!

[peace_machine]

I duno, Carnage may hold some words of wisdom there.

[wraizyr]

I duno, Carnage may hold some words of wisdom there.
Ugh, he was joking;trust me, it may seem wise now, but there's no point to even contemplating such fates.

Life may suck at times, but I'm a Christian, so I expect it to.
Otherwise, my sentiments more or less echoe those of Xenon's, albeit with a somewhat more Christian slant.

[Dark_Soul74]

Life might not have a point, but natural human instinct leads you to feel that an ending to life would be illogical as long as one could reproduce.

Wheeee!

Stay in for Halo 2! IT PWNZORZ DEATH!

[EdvardMunch]

I'll try to give you some advice for your girlfriend:

From the sounds of it, your girlfriend has an insecure attachment style. There are 4 types of attachment styles:

1. Secure - "It is easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don't worry about being alone or having others not accept me."

2. Preoccupied - "I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don't value me as much as I value them."

3. Fearful - "I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others."

4. Dismissing - "I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me."

- Read here for a lot more info on attachment styles and how they relate to various measures relevant to relationships: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FCR/is_2_33/ai_62839415

These attachment styles are based on two continuums: Anxiety over abandonment and comfort with closeness. Each attachment style, more or less, represents an extreme of combinations of those continuums.

Secure - Low abandonment anxiety, high comfort with closeness
Dismissing - Low abandonment anxiety, low comfort with closeness
Preoccupied - High abandonment anxiety, high comfort with closeness
Fearful - High abandonment anxiety, low comfort with closeness

You shouldn't live and die by the attachment styles. They're just labels; I listed them to help get the info across. What's important is to recognize how anxious your girlfriend is over abandonment and how comfortable with closeness she is. By knowing this, you can plan your approach to speaking to her by trying to satisfy her attachment goals.

For example, if your girlfriend is medium or high in anxiety over abandonment (which it sounds like she is) then you should stress to her that if you two get back together, you will definitely stay with her and that you have no interest in any woman other than you. Having a chat with the friend of hers' who likes you may also be helpful.

As for comfort with closeness, if she is low in comfort with closeness, then you won't want to emotionally rush her. Since you two have been together for a while, you probably know what the right speed is for emotional closeness.

I would also recommend that you try to stick with her as much as possible (well, not enough to be considered stalking). You don't have to go out on dates or anything, just talk on the phone or internet or (preferably) in person. The talk should be light on stress, not about why you two broke up. She won't want to talk if the conversation is stressful. The idea is for her to become comfortable around you, that she knows you have no ill feelings toward her (basically, she can trust you), and for her not to become used to being single.


How are you treating your chicken pox? Maybe this site will tell you some things you didn't know:
http://dermatology.about.com/cs/chickenpox/a/chickentreat.htm = A site on various treatments for chicken pox. According to this thing, Tylenol treats the symptoms of chicken pox. Is there anything Tylenol can't do?

[Sikawtic]

i feel the same way right now peace machine... people have starting lying about me in school, my girlfriend dumped me, everyone thinks i'm this big lying dick head. i'm so hating life right now... words of advice from a girl i talked to (just now actually...) is that things will get better.

on a lighter note, i'm glad to see your back again (or are you not staying ? :()

p.s. life is a major pecker some times....
/me goes to ponder ways to make things better.

[Valjean]

This is why I'm in middle school. >_>

Anyway, sorry for you and your dumped-ment. :(

/me gives PM a bag of candy. ^_^;;;;

<_<

[Carnage]

Yeah. You guys are right. That really was a bit harsh. Sorry, PM. :(

I was just being an asshole because I did really poorly on a final exam test yesterday, but I know that's no excuse to be so insensitive, so here's some real advice you've probably heard already. Life goes on. Plenty of fish in the sea. Etc. Etc. Etc. :P

[TranquilNightElf]

Hey Peace Machine.
It's been a long time.
Sorry to hear so many things that are going wrong.
I hope it gets better for you man.

-TNE

[Seraph_Knight]

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[Xenon]

Kill yourself now. It's the only solution. This is not a dream, it is a prophecy from Jesus Christ Superstar.

[BSTRhino]

It does get better, believe me. I have had times in my life where I thought there was just no point going on, I couldn't comprehend the possibility that things would ever turn out right again. But really, things always get better. Well, either that or, we get more used to the crappy parts of our life.

However, now I know that whenever something bad happens, I'm not fazed by it, since I now know for a fact that things will always turn out right. When they say "What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger," they're not kidding.

It's really good to see you again peace_machine.

[peace_machine]

Thanks guys, i know things should work out in the end but your reasurance means alot. Thankyou. I also know im not the only one with problems, it took me a while to realise what was there and that anyone can and should take a step back and look at the support around them.

The good news I hope is I should be on the boards a little more often (well good for some, bad for others).

And Carnage don't worry about what you said, everything needs a little sarcastic lift.

[Seraph_Knight]

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