TheDarkCaller
02-29-2004, 11:18 AM
Hello there, and welcome, my friends, to. . .
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/Warcraft%203%20Lessons.jpg
Yes, you heard correctly. . . an idiot's guide to the game all of us here at WarBoards know and love. . . the best game in the universe, some might say.
But here at version 1.14b, a lot of things have changed from the product you originally bought or read about in the magazines, and thus, I know it can get very complicated for you poor noobs. Thus, I give you this guide as a walkthrough on how to win in multiplayer Warcraft 3. It really is pretty simple, you see.
First, you're going to need to start your game with a simple "GL HF" to make your opponent waste valuable time replying in kind. If they don't, this means they are a pro and think such things are gay. Quit the game immediately, because you can't win.
The next step entirely depends on what race you're playing, noob. So, here they are, in no particular order.
If you are an Orc, just remember two things:
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/bm%20pwn.jpg
BladeMasters with Wind Walk and Boots of Speed pwn, like, really really hard. Walk towards the opponent's base, then right click on his hero. Every once in a while, click on Windwalk and then right click the hero again. You'll be pwning in n otime because BMs are kinda like God, but green.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/pult%20greater%20than%20caster.jpg
Demolishers are better than casters. So when your opponent has casters, you get demolishers and then right click on the casters. They die. Then you use your Blademaster to pwn them. Some people also use grunts here, but they are wasteful, because getting like 10 Blademasters is just more efficient.
If you are a Human, then try the following:
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/caster%20cheesepwn.jpg
Whenever you have lots of Sorcerors, Priests, and Riflemen, you win games, like, a whole whole lot. You know why? Because your priests can heal your riflemen faster than the slowed down enemy units can hurt them, until all the enemies are dead. If you get this, you'll win. Unless the enemy starts shooting at you with demolishers. If he does this, he is a pro, and you should go ahead and quit. You can't win.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/blom%20pwn%20peasies.jpg
Until you have enough money to get casters, you want to make sure your opponent doesn't have enough money to get demolishers. So you'll want to have a Bloodmage who you can take to your opponent's base. Cast his fire spell on their peasants until they all die. Then wait till he makes new ones, and kill those too. Be sure to laugh obnoxiously while you do it, just so everyone near you knows how awesome you are.
If you play Night Elf, things are pretty easy.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/warden%20greater%20than%20jesus.jpg
First off, get a Warden. Because they are better than Jesus. Like, Christ Lord and Savior Jesus, not the one who works with you at Burger King. Anyways, yeah, get one of these. Then get Shadowstrike and Fork of Knives. Keep casting those, and when you can't click them any more, buy mana potions and then keep casting them. Just because you don't see any enemies doesn't mean that clicking these buttons won't make you win.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/hunt%20cheese.jpg
After awhile of killing stuff with your Warden, get some Huntresses. Like, a million of them or so will do. Then, you're gonna wanna select all of them, press the "A" button, and then left click on your opponent's base. You'll win shortly thereafter.
If you play Undead, it's really, really easy!
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/statue%20gg.jpg
Get a few heroes, get their auras, then get a lot of crypt fiends and statues. The statues make your units like, invincible or something, I think, so they don't ever die. Then the heroes just make everything really shiny. And everyone else just dies spontaneously when you blink at them right, because you're sooo awesome and dead but not.
And there, my friends, is my little guide to winning multiplayer matches with ANY race. Really, it's just as simple as that. Now, go forth and become GODS.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/TDC.jpg
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/Warcraft%203%20Lessons.jpg
Yes, you heard correctly. . . an idiot's guide to the game all of us here at WarBoards know and love. . . the best game in the universe, some might say.
But here at version 1.14b, a lot of things have changed from the product you originally bought or read about in the magazines, and thus, I know it can get very complicated for you poor noobs. Thus, I give you this guide as a walkthrough on how to win in multiplayer Warcraft 3. It really is pretty simple, you see.
First, you're going to need to start your game with a simple "GL HF" to make your opponent waste valuable time replying in kind. If they don't, this means they are a pro and think such things are gay. Quit the game immediately, because you can't win.
The next step entirely depends on what race you're playing, noob. So, here they are, in no particular order.
If you are an Orc, just remember two things:
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/bm%20pwn.jpg
BladeMasters with Wind Walk and Boots of Speed pwn, like, really really hard. Walk towards the opponent's base, then right click on his hero. Every once in a while, click on Windwalk and then right click the hero again. You'll be pwning in n otime because BMs are kinda like God, but green.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/pult%20greater%20than%20caster.jpg
Demolishers are better than casters. So when your opponent has casters, you get demolishers and then right click on the casters. They die. Then you use your Blademaster to pwn them. Some people also use grunts here, but they are wasteful, because getting like 10 Blademasters is just more efficient.
If you are a Human, then try the following:
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/caster%20cheesepwn.jpg
Whenever you have lots of Sorcerors, Priests, and Riflemen, you win games, like, a whole whole lot. You know why? Because your priests can heal your riflemen faster than the slowed down enemy units can hurt them, until all the enemies are dead. If you get this, you'll win. Unless the enemy starts shooting at you with demolishers. If he does this, he is a pro, and you should go ahead and quit. You can't win.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/blom%20pwn%20peasies.jpg
Until you have enough money to get casters, you want to make sure your opponent doesn't have enough money to get demolishers. So you'll want to have a Bloodmage who you can take to your opponent's base. Cast his fire spell on their peasants until they all die. Then wait till he makes new ones, and kill those too. Be sure to laugh obnoxiously while you do it, just so everyone near you knows how awesome you are.
If you play Night Elf, things are pretty easy.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/warden%20greater%20than%20jesus.jpg
First off, get a Warden. Because they are better than Jesus. Like, Christ Lord and Savior Jesus, not the one who works with you at Burger King. Anyways, yeah, get one of these. Then get Shadowstrike and Fork of Knives. Keep casting those, and when you can't click them any more, buy mana potions and then keep casting them. Just because you don't see any enemies doesn't mean that clicking these buttons won't make you win.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/hunt%20cheese.jpg
After awhile of killing stuff with your Warden, get some Huntresses. Like, a million of them or so will do. Then, you're gonna wanna select all of them, press the "A" button, and then left click on your opponent's base. You'll win shortly thereafter.
If you play Undead, it's really, really easy!
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/statue%20gg.jpg
Get a few heroes, get their auras, then get a lot of crypt fiends and statues. The statues make your units like, invincible or something, I think, so they don't ever die. Then the heroes just make everything really shiny. And everyone else just dies spontaneously when you blink at them right, because you're sooo awesome and dead but not.
And there, my friends, is my little guide to winning multiplayer matches with ANY race. Really, it's just as simple as that. Now, go forth and become GODS.
http://theblackcitadel.web1000.com/wc3/TDC.jpg