Moron of the month.

[dunchy]

Ahh yes, since it might have been my last month at my job, I had to write down the BIGGEST dumbass of the month, if not ever. Before you read this though, understand how hard it is to get this...

I had to write it all down by hand, word for word, then take the paper to home, type it word by word here....so karma me dammit it you find it funny :D

So, the problem with this customer is he needs to install drivers for his USB modem on windows xp, so that's fairly simple, but not quite....I'll cut to where I know we have to install drivers.....

Matt: What type of windows do you have?
cust: HUH?
Matt: What type of windows do you have?
cust: HUH?!?
Me: What. TYPE. Of. Windows?!?!
Cust: It says webstar!
Me: lets close this window please.
cust: How?
me: the red X
cust: ok
me: what colour is your start button (customer cannot tell what version of windows after all, for a typical dumbass if it's green, it's xp)
cust: green
me: lets hit that green button, then hit where it says control panel.
cust: ok
me: lets hit that option for view classic please.
cust: ok
**Break time!**

Now we went into the device manager, found the modem and clicked on update driver...customer blurts this out...

cust: software is scientific!
me: pardon me?
cust: it wants to continue.
me: ok....
cust: it wants to install software
me: well then say yes to the prompt
cust: says we must click finish
me: so click finish
cust: do what now?
me: CLICK FINISH.
cust: how do i connect to the Internet?
Me: CLICK FINISH.
cust: I click finish?
Me: yes.
cust: it says ok.
Me: then click ok.
cust: What now??
Me: click ok.
cust: Done. So what now?
me: reboot the computer.
cust: how?
me: close everything down.
cust: give me some time son (yeah he called me son).

*did manage to reboot the machine after that fine*

cust: how do i connect to the Internet?
me: try to open the internet explorer program.
cust: I don't have that (extremely arrogant voice at this moment).
Me: yes you do.
cust: Well then WHERE is it!!!!??!?
me: hit the start button
cust: HUH?
Me: hit the button that says Start at the bottom right of the screen, then hit internet explorer.
cust: what's internet explorer look like?
Me: A blue E.
cust: I think I might be online!!! *everything is working*
cust: Where do I go?
Me: anywhere you want.
cust: I don't know I just use this for E-mail

**in my mind: why are you paying 50 bucks american for this then???**
Me: Ok......
Me: for a test site then lets go to help.rr.com
Cust: WHAT???

Me: Arrrrr Arrrrr Dot Com!
cust: let me try something here. oh there comes THE road runner, it's completely different!
me: we do have new content on the website.
cust: now it's asking what state i live in...I want to live in arkansas! *he lived in KC by the way*
Me: ok....
cust:so now will my printer work? will this RR knock it down?
me: i really don't know it's not my specialty.
cust: it was working fine yesterday, i'll think i'll try.
Me: uhh....
cust: just hold on!!!!
...
..
.
..
..
..
..
Printers working fine thanks for the help!!!!

A true dumbass of the month, if not year. Imagine having to spend 40 + minutes on the phone with this dweeb?

[Crion]

cust: software is scientific!
me: pardon me?
cust: it wants to continue.
me: ok....

^^

Your karma is well-earned. ;)

[TranquilNightElf]

ROFLOL :D
...We have a winner ^_^ (Must spread more rep around first )

[Xx_bender_xX]

heh heh. thats funny. unfortunatly for you there a lot of computer iliterate dumbasses out there (most of them are bald fat white guys with yellow teeth)good luck with the idiots:tup:

[Protosschick99]

LOLZ!!!

This reminds me of my mom's comp class. She taught a bunch of web classes and microsoft office stuff--Well, she used to get a lot of this:

"How come my mouse won't stop moving!??!?!?!"

LOLZ!!! Ppl can be dumb sadly :P

[SexForTwo]

You poor, poor guy. :(

+ Karma

[Uuugggg]

Holy cow, I really don't think this is what karma was meant for... I mean, karma is like that stuff that sticks with you when you're reincarnated, right? I mean, we don't want some reincarnated person starting with lots of karma, that's just unfair... wouldn't it upset the people who run the universe? Well???
So my point is, karma is way overused on WB =P

So, how many people complain that something doesn't work, only to find out they need to push the power button?... heh...

[Carnage]

cust: says we must click finish
me: so click finish
cust: do what now?
me: CLICK FINISH.
cust: how do i connect to the Internet?
Me: CLICK FINISH.
cust: I click finish?
Me: yes.

What an adventureous life you lead. :D

[TranquilNightElf]

heh..that quote reminde me of the butt-plugs thingy.

"Butt Plug!!"
"BUTT. PLUGS."
:D

[Bobtheconquerer]

Sooner or later you'll get a call from me sooner or later.. most likely later.... aw well I must say that must have been a really annoying person to say we have alot of annoying people here....

[TheBB]

Yeah... ever considered that all these dweebs might be prank calls. Or even a radio channel. :D

[Dark_Soul74]

Hey dunchy, what's your number? :smirk:

[singo]

that is just absolutely legendary, well done for putting up with the bugger, fair play to you

[Neo]

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Not the funniest I have seen dunch, but truly patience testing ;)

/me gives out his first karma ><

-Neo

[Valjean]

Holy cow, I really don't think this is what karma was meant for... I mean, karma is like that stuff that sticks with you when you're reincarnated, right? I mean, we don't want some reincarnated person starting with lots of karma, that's just unfair... wouldn't it upset the people who run the universe? Well???
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc15.jpg

[Forerunner]

Wow. there are some pretty dense people out there. and some pretty stupid ones too!

[Maegtelluma]

Wow, dunchy. I pity you. How can you use windows without knowing what start is? The only time I ever called tech support I called the toll free microsoft line, and I certainly hope I wasn't that stupid x.x.

++karma for your efforts :).

[Forerunner]

Although, it WOULD be funny to play the part of an idiot like that sometime knowing how much frustration you're causing the other person heh heh... EVIL!

[Cygnus]

Dunch... that's crazy what you guys have to put up with. They should start sending a loaded gun with computers now.

"If you don't understand how to click start, please insert pointy end of Accessory 1 into your mouth. Next please pull the trigger. Thank you for wasting your brain."

[Maegtelluma]

Although, it WOULD be funny to play the part of an idiot like that sometime knowing how much frustration you're causing the other person heh heh... EVIL!
Not when it costs like $2.99 US per minute x.X

[Forerunner]

Not when it costs like $2.99 US per minute x.X
for humorous stupidity, price is no object NOT!

[Valjean]

for humorous stupidity, price is no object. NOT!
Heh.

You'd be surprised. X_x

[singo]

it depends just HOW humourous

try iwantoneofthose.com

[Moser]

Granted that was funny to read, it would have been 1000x better to hear! +karma for you dunchy.

[hammocksleeper]

I want to live in Arkansas!

That sounds rough, dunch. Next one of those calls you get, *drop* :) 40 min? What's your average call time there?

[Battlecruiser]

Wow, I never knew people could be so slow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
I would give you karma but
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to dunchy again.

[WeekendLazyness]

I'd give you karma, but it won't let me.

Anyway, I'm wondering what you do if someone tells you there's something wrong with the network. I remeber SBC's DNS servers were down one day, but I didn't tell them that on tech support because I think the tech support center is in India and they wouldn't have known what I was talking about.

[Protosschick99]

heh..that quote reminde me of the butt-plugs thingy.

"Butt Plug!!"
"BUTT. PLUGS."
:D
LOLZ!!!!

Geno and I got a little inside joke about that :P lolz :)

[dunchy]

I want to live in Arkansas!

That sounds rough, dunch. Next one of those calls you get, *drop* :) 40 min? What's your average call time there?

11 or less minutes, but my longest call was over 3 hours...that was a fun call we talked about sex in the mediterranean sea and sharks and dolphins and tourism, she had a sexy voice and I didn't want to give up on her.

[bluemicrobyte]

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Not the funniest I have seen dunch, but truly patience testing ;)

* NeoX gives out his first karma ><

-Neomy favorite so far:



One night working at technical support, this old lady called and told me that she received our disk and said that she's afraid of it.

Tech Support: "Well ma'am, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's for your computer."
Customer: "Well, I don't have a computer. The directions say 'install and run'. I'm too old to run."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, could you please hold?"
I need a brief pause to scream with laughter.

Tech Support: "Ma'am, I can assure you that you are ok."
Customer: "Ok. Should I call the police?"
Tech Support: "No, ma'am, just throw it away."
Customer: "Well, there is a silver thing that slides across, and it clicks. What is that?"
Tech Support: "It is safe to throw it away. It's for a computer, ok?"
Customer: "But is this a bomb?"
Tech Support: "No, ma'am, just throw it away."
Customer: "Now?"
Tech Support: "Yes, if you like."
Customer: "Son, you saved my life! Thank you, and have a nice day."

[GiaDragoness]

How come i can so easily picture this guy as someone likly to be listed in the darwin awards sometime in the near future?

:smash: Smashy Smashy! :smash:

[King_Templar]

I say, read that line in my sig. dunchy, i think you might agree with it...

[peace_machine]

...
cust: Well then WHERE is it!!!!??!?
me: hit the start button
cust: HUH?
Me: hit the button that says Start at the bottom right of the screen, then hit internet explorer...
Assuming that is not a typo I am suprised he managed to find the start button.
Nvm then...

Isn't it possible to palm people off to somebody else? Hell knows thats what I do.