Online Bullying

[FrankZ]

There are some cases in the internet where board administrators or moderators abuse their power of being authorities in a website by either insulting, flaming, harassing, or by doing very degrading behavior because no one in the same website or board have higher authorities to control them.

I think, that even if those authorities do it just for fun or to simply amuse themselves, it's very unkind or unethical for them to do those things.

I have seen a case in a some forums where a mod'll delete a thread, and label the user responsible for the thread with unkind or very slanderous words. Here's an example:

Guy 1 was in a debate, expressed himself rather outrageously, and made a point very 'stupid' in other people's points of view, although in himself, he did his best on his part to express himself--- but just not the way that's reasonable or supposed to be, or in-line with ethics.
Do you think that the mod committed 'online bullying' when he closed the thread, and labeled Guy 1 "Freaking whiner"?

Here's another one:
Some mods posted on Guy 2's locked thread. He PM'd the mod of that forum area, complaining that the mods who made the posts were abusing their powers and were setting bad examples. In return, the mod posted another post on the locked thread "Whim. Abuse. Abuse. Abuse. :P", another even said "What're you gonna do about it?" in a mocking tone when reading, per se.

What's your views about these things? Do you think that they are bad things considerably online bullying? If not, what are your views about online bullying?

[Vezer]

My view: Suck it up. Not your website, nothing you can do about it. Just roll with the punches, gain some respect (through intelligent debate), try again.

[Gunmonk]

If I may, usually mods have their position for a reason, and as such, they do what they deem to be in best interest. Really, if they are doing it, there is nothing you can do about it. So grow some balls and live with it.

If you are gonna kill yourself over some twelve year old on aim telling you that you are a f4gzorz then maybe its time that you either go see a shrink, or get off the internet altogether.

[Protogod]

This is a very interesting topic, but if I may, I'm going to broaden the discussion a little.

In my experience it isn't solely the mod who is rough around the edges that bullies people. We really aren't bad guys. generally it is just people in general who find that they can hide behind an online fascade or screenname. They can say whatever they want, succumbing to ID impulses without fear of repercussions.

Its the feeling of detachment that really stems this hostility and contempt in people, because the internet "isn't real life." And it isn't real life, but the idea that mode of communication can make something less painful is still a gray half-truth.

Thoughts?

[T-Dawg]

I have to say I agree with you 100% Protogod, that the internet provides a detachment from real life. I think this is because that in face-to-face confrontations people need to have more courage to express their views because of recognition. When Person A can associate Idea B with Person C, Person C needs to either be more convicted or more courageous to speakout.

Also, unfavorable ideas that general society would suppress in an individual because such thoughts are "taboo" become readily accessible because individuals can hide behind a computer screen seemingly unattached to their thoughts. I feel that certain aspects of biggorty would fall into this category.

Furthermore, we have a host of teenagers running around trying to find and stake their dominance and they believe that virtual realities are the best place to do it.

Regardless, though, certain comments can be taken to heart and internalized despite them coming from an online source such a forum. It is like hate crime graffiti, those words were written by a biggoted, many times anonymous, individual but the community still internalizes that attack. I don't see the difference between that hate crime and an online attack at that point.

Whether we should internalize those comments is another debate altogther. I am simply pointing out that people do internalize them and as such people should be mindful of what they type on the internet.

[mranderson]

Okay one thing here. Guy 1 should have just rephrased his shit and start a new thread. Problem solved. One thing about the mods and power..."Absolute power corrupts absolutely but it's absolutely awesome." An individual posting over the internet doesn't have to deal with the consequences, and can pretend they have more control and power, which can also be related to why people play video games. They might bully to exercise a dominance they don't exercise in real life, and it's a way to vent it out (this sentence is pure speculation on my behalf). Everyone else has already nailed the subject so there's my two cents.

:)One way to stop this though is to have warboards track the IP, and locate where the individual computer is. Through their l337 hAxXoRz skills they will infiltrate every forum, and control them. AJ and the other mods then roll out in their black van, and stop the flaming and trolling at the source. The mods will RoxXorZ the sOxXoRz. Oddly enough the account would go inactive a few days later. :rolleyes:

^^ another good example of stuff you wouldn't say in real life lol.

[JenJen]

I agree with T-Dawg people want to be seen as something different from what they are in the real world and bullying online can be one outlet for someone if say they want to feel powerful but aren't seen that way in life by others. Bullying on the internet has been gaining more interest lately as people look seriously at the consequences. What I found really interesting was the story about the girl who killed herself this year after an ex-friend's mom made a fake profile online and led her on. The mom didn't get prosecuted at all, but shouldn't there be blame and consequences put on her? There's no precedent for this type of crime and I don't see a clear solution on how laws could be enforced.

[Neo]

There are some cases in the internet where board administrators or moderators abuse their power of being authorities in a website by either insulting, flaming, harassing, or by doing very degrading behavior because no one in the same website or board have higher authorities to control them.

I'm going to talk about some stuff further down in the post, but I have a serious problem with this "Online Bullying" shit that I must put out there right away.

If you feel harrassed on a message board, or community website, then leave the site, remove the bookmark, and STOP GOING TO IT.

In real life ignoring bullys isn't the best idea, since that hardly, if ever, works. However online is different, if you don't even see the comments from the other people, then there is no way it's going to cause you "distress" -- it's like complaining that running into a wall hurts, most other people would take the hint and stop doing it.

I think, that even if those authorities do it just for fun or to simply amuse themselves, it's very unkind or unethical for them to do those things.

This isn't always the case. And pardon me for being blunt, but unfair as well.

Moderators put up with a lot of crap. People lie, constantly, about everything. People constantly harass you, you get called out on every-other decision, you're in a position where "you're dammed if you do, dammed if don't" -- It's not exactly conducive to a good attitude.

Warboards is different in the respect that we don't get to many of this behavior, some, but not a lot. It also helps that we don't have a primarily "tween" age group posting.

I have seen a case in a some forums where a mod'll delete a thread, and label the user responsible for the thread with unkind or very slanderous words. Here's an example:

Guy 1 was in a debate, expressed himself rather outrageously, and made a point very 'stupid' in other people's points of view, although in himself, he did his best on his part to express himself--- but just not the way that's reasonable or supposed to be, or in-line with ethics.
Do you think that the mod committed 'online bullying' when he closed the thread, and labeled Guy 1 "Freaking whiner"?

Why? If the person in question made a completely outrageous claim and acted completely stupid, then what is the problem? And was it true? Was the person in question whining?

Every website has it's own set of ethics and rules that members, and staff, must follow. There is no global-over-riding set of ethics that rule the internet.

Here's another one:
Some mods posted on Guy 2's locked thread. He PM'd the mod of that forum area, complaining that the mods who made the posts were abusing their powers and were setting bad examples. In return, the mod posted another post on the locked thread "Whim. Abuse. Abuse. Abuse. :P", another even said "What're you gonna do about it?" in a mocking tone when reading, per se.
The person in question was doing something that, personally as a moderator my self, find incredibly petty and annoying: Running to a mod to whine "HE WAS MEAN TO ME" (or some variation thereof) "SO PUNISH HIM!!!!"

Many forums have staff rules that include a "unified front" which usually includes stuff like "don't overturn another mod's actions" and such.

However these two examples aren't enough, because we have no idea what the context is. Has the person in question "whined" before? Are the forums extremely active? Could the mod(s) in question simply be burned out? (it happens y'know)

What's your views about these things? Do you think that they are bad things considerably online bullying? If not, what are your views about online bullying?

Online bullying is one of the most stupid terms I've seen coined in recent years, and I find it completely one sided.

If you are being trolled online, then IGNORE IT. Walk away.

Besides that you act as if one comment can mean you're being "bully'ed online"

There are two sides to every story.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but the last post mentioned a fake profile and such -- this would be considered slander wouldn't it? Harassment, etc... all have legal repercussions.

Plus it would be up to the girl's family to sue the crap out of the mom who put up the fake profile -- "You cause my daughter so much mental and emotional distress that she killed herself!" -- just because no actions were taken doesn't mean that no action was possible.

This is another problem that I relate back to parental responsibility. But I won't go into that now, suffice it say that if you're kid gets distressed over something someone online says or does, you've probably made a couple mistakes.

Now this isn't to say it's wrong to get upset, but most of us on the internet have been there -- when I was 13 or so on starcraft, I remember getting horribly upset when I was banned from a channel, something that today seems trivial and stupid, but at the time was very upsetting.

Eventually though you "grow up" and realize most of this stuff doesn't matter at all.

Sort of reminds of that family guy clip "Nothing is as important as what we are doing right now. Nothing in the rest of our lives will matter." or whatever.

-Neo

[anderoo]

Sort of reminds of that family guy clip "Nothing is as important as what we are doing right now. Nothing in the rest of our lives will matter." or whatever.

I think what you meant to say was: "/Thread" but hey, that's just my opinion.

Seriously though, the term "online bullying" is supposed to be directed at kids who get bullied at school, and then at home through the internet, is it not? I've heard many examples of a kid being picked on at school, and then the bullies posting facebook messages etc, but this is the first I've heard about a moderator of a website causing people to be actually upset in the real world, because of something a stranger said to them online. That girl who killed herself? She was not a happy a happy person that was just emotionally ruined by a person online, she was an emotionally ruined person who was made more upset by her "ex-friends mom", who's clearly got some issues herself. The whole idea behind "cyber-bullying" is that it follows kids home where they are supposed to be safer and happier, and calling it "bullying" at all in when the "bullies" aren't known in real life is just an insult to those kids that do get bullied, and have a good reason to be upset, because they don't have the option of just logging off from their own lives and fixing the problem. Bullying victims kill themselves because they feel helpless, not because they feel sad.

[Neo]

anderoo: The term "online bullying" has begun to encompass much more then just the kid being bullied at school and then online, it's gotten to the extent that any sort of trolling or negativity of any kind can be attributed to it.

Someone actually was pushing for a bill to be passed that would make posting anonymously online illegal -- or using any sort of screen name, in fact you would have to use your real name at any website, and as webmaster's I and others would have to keep records on people.

Seriously, wtf.

-Neo

[SolidSamurai]

I think perhaps a few people, just a few people, could get together and prove what a joke the cyberbullying initiative is, because it is a joke. Waking up to radio commercials from chorus radio network in vancouver talking about 'your kid online making another kid's life a living hell' is a joke. My life feels like a 'living overly-masturbated petty session' because of that. :P

It's the first original online joke of its kind.

[anderoo]

It's the first original online joke of its kind.

And a fucking good one at that.

Now you're my hero, congratulations. :)

[Oblongato]

I agree with Neo's point. Regardless of whether it is fair or unfair, if you don't like it, don't go to that site.

The fact is, there is an essential difference between online bullying and face-to-face bullying. In online bullying, you are only one click away from stopping it. You have the power. In this sense, it is not really possible to bully someone online. If you cannot come to terms with the reality (i.e. what you perceive to be the level of fairness or unfairness) of your chosen posting venue, find another one.

I find it terrifying that people are considering laws to regulate speech on the internet. We should expect every individual to learn the lesson that sticks and stones, not words, break bones. If you kill yourself because of what some asshole said on the Internet, who's the idiot? I place the blame firmly on the individual, or in the case of children, perhaps to some degree on the parents who failed to provide adequate guidance.

It's like learning to cross the street. A danger exists (getting caught up in one's emotions), and each individual must learn to cope with that danger. Those who don't will get run over; and when they do, it will be their own stupidity that is responsible.

[T-Dawg]

I am not quite sure that I buy the whole "its their fault" for going to that site argument. That really alleviates the whole cause that someone was being a jerk in the first place, which is essentially excusing flamers, trolls, etc. which I think is a slippery slope.

Don't get me wrong, I think people need to realize what is going on for what it is, but I don't think all the blame of a person's "stupidity" for internalizing what they read should be on them. If that was the case - then no one would have an issue with Slander, "oh that guy is a biggot you should know better than to listen to him".

[Neo]

I am not quite sure that I buy the whole "its their fault" for going to that site argument. That really alleviates the whole cause that someone was being a jerk in the first place, which is essentially excusing flamers, trolls, etc. which I think is a slippery slope.

"Dont feed the troll"

You know that saying? I'm sure it's even older then the internet itself. If visiting a website, and posting in whatever manner you do, results in people poking fun or harassing you to the point where you feel emotional distress is probably a gigantic clue that "Hey, I should probably stop visiting this site"

People in real life aren't always nice and peachy, it's the same online. You also can't expect to jump into a community and just be accepted right away. For instance, if someone a christian background who felt games were bad joined WB, how long do you think it would before they were slammed?

This isn't a "it's their fault for staying" it's a "it's their fault for not practicing common sense" -- yes people are jerks but that isn't some kind of flashing beacon to continue to put up with it.

Don't get me wrong, I think people need to realize what is going on for what it is, but I don't think all the blame of a person's "stupidity" for internalizing what they read should be on them. If that was the case - then no one would have an issue with Slander, "oh that guy is a biggot you should know better than to listen to him".
The problem is more that, with the internet, there is another facet to younger people/kids... I don't know, learning. Parents should be teaching that, in real life, when you come across a bully you can't let them get to you. However the difference is that on the internet you can actually insulate yourself from bullies pretty easily, in real life you can't.

There's this movement that seems to try to compare and lump both together, when at their core they aren't. Now I think gossip online behind someones back is still wrong, but the more basic "flaming" has got to be one of the stupidest things to get upset over.

Seriously, if your kid (or you) are so unstable that what someone(s) said online can cause you extreme emotional distress or even to attempt suicide, that I would submit that there was already something wrong that if it wasn't this that set you/them off, it would've been something else.

Personally I think it's the parent's responsibility. Computers have replaced TVs in terms of "the automatic-child-rearing machines" and that's just bullshit. Hey idiot, giving your kid a computer connected to the internet in their room is probably a retarded idea if your worried about what they might come across.

-Neo

[anderoo]

I am not quite sure that I buy the whole "its their fault" for going to that site argument. That really alleviates the whole cause that someone was being a jerk in the first place, which is essentially excusing flamers, trolls, etc. which I think is a slippery slope.

Don't get me wrong, I think people need to realize what is going on for what it is, but I don't think all the blame of a person's "stupidity" for internalizing what they read should be on them. If that was the case - then no one would have an issue with Slander, "oh that guy is a biggot you should know better than to listen to him".

No one is saying that it's wrong to be offended because of someone online. What's offensive in person can sometimes be just as offensive as online, but in person you don't stand there while the other person offends you. It's not wrong to be upset, it's just illogical to keep taking it while you could easily stop it from happening.

[SolidSamurai]

When you hear people cursing at you on something like xbox live, even then I feel like I can talk them down. IRC/message boards, it's even easier to talk back to them (unless you don't sp33kign inglish gud), considering there's no speech involved whatsoever.

In real life, there's the physical contact. I don't see what the issue is.

NOTE: Seriously, someone should form a league to stop the media bullshit, and get them to focus on something slightly more serious (not war or poverty, considering those have already been addressed). ;)

I was thinking maybe scientology or environmental alternatives that would actually work and not murder the economy (just for the hell of it?), maybe form a few schools that teach people how not to be pussies, etc.

[FrankZ]

I'm afraid some people just think that their pride are far too high. Especially those in positions *cough* simply mock me for posting this thread in the first place. Its either they think they are far too superior or simply because they are being defensive because they may be actually planning or planned to do CB in the first place.

So fuck you.

[Lithium]

I'm afraid some people just think that their pride are far too high. Especially those in positions *cough* simply mock me for posting this thread in the first place. Its either they think they are far too superior or simply because they are being defensive because they may be actually planning or planned to do CB in the first place.

So fuck you.

Seconded. I've seen it way too many times here on Warboards where some staff gets abusive and attacks some noob for being a noob. =/

But every forum has it's policy, obviously Warbaords has a steep learning curve. If you want to spam, go somewhere else.

Edit: I wasn't directing that at you, FrankZ0509

[FrankZ]

No offense taken, Lithium. ;P (enjoy your tilapia)

The point is, merely reading the posts of those in position is already aggravating. The mere fact that the denial, or the 'air of superiority' per se is present and the rude air of pride is there, makes reading their posts give a feeling of abashment.

In fact, I have seen some forums where there's a [new] guy, and within a short span of a month, has become a scapegoat or wall of mockery by those in positions higher than normal members, yes, staff members.

And I couldn't stress enough how bullshit some moderators are. Boo-hoo, they were meant to keep the awesome peace in the community, not bash the hell out of newbies.

[Mr.Bad]

@ Lithium. You're right Warboards has an extremely harsh anti-spam policy. I think that's why we have such a clean environment here. There is virtually no spam, because the spam is cut off at its roots.

Now, earlier in the thread someone mentioned Cyber Bullies doing what they do because they are bullied themselves in real life. While I understand this mentality, and cannot come to terms with its acceptability. I am not truly 'bullied' in real life, but I have been in the past, and I can understand what it feels like. But as a result of that, rather than forcing the same experience on others, I try to be as nice as I can. I'm much more friendly to noobs, than the average 'boarder.

Now, Cyber Bullying is easily escaped, but that doesn't mean it's ok. I think it's ridiculous that someone's trying to get a bill out there to prevent it, but this still is a very real issue. I'll give you an example where leaving the website is not a good answer.

>insert random member< is constantly harassing me. He/She says I am bad at Starcraft. He/She says I need to improve my Grammar. He/She is constantly flaming any thread I make. etc. etc.

Ok, I have over 1000 posts. I am a member of Warboards, and have been for a long enough time, that leaving because of one dumbf*** would be completely stupid. But I am still being 'Cyberbullied.' Now what do I do. I can only hope a moderator is willing to deal with the problem.

Ok then, say the original problem person is a moderator. Now what do I do? Absolutely nothing. I can live with it, or try to reason/argue back with the person. Obviously, leaving the board would not be a viable option. Would you quit your job because one of your many coworkers is a jerk?

(As much as the moderators here want to get all defensive about us saying that moderators can be bullies too, it does happen a lot on Warboards. Of course there are reasons, and I am thankful, as it does help keep these boards free of spammers and idiots.)

[Protogod]

Yes we moderators are, in fact, part of a conspiracy to cyberbully all of you in attempt to cause mass suicide. Get out while you still can.

And for reference, if a moderator is "bullying" you you can go pm AJ about it, he's our lovely PR admin. If he disagrees, odds are your complaint was bullshit to begin with.

Terribly sorry if you disagree with one of us, or if you feel we didnt go out of our way to protect your egos, but that doesnt make us bullies. It makes us busy people with better things to do than hold your hand while you make your 500th post.

[Gunmonk]

Also, fyi, the planned mass suicide date that AJ gave me is May 28th at about ten thirtyish at night.

I'm going to try and offer a few words of wisdom here. Mods have been given their positions because of their ability to reason and discern. If for some reason you do not like that, then maybe its time we unplug the ethernet cable for a bit. You cant have egg shell feelings and if they got damaged cause a mod infracted you for spamming, its 1. your fault and 2. their job.

Freedom of speech does not exist on the internet, if it did then we would allow spam. If the mods are being mean and you can't handle it, get off... it really that simple. The power lies within the mods and not you.

Simply put, shut up and put up, or GTFO.

[DoctorZettabyte]

Here's my two cents:

A moderator has been given his/her position of power simply because they excelled at being a member and the administrator feels as if they could be trusted with power over others, as a sort of role model. Not everyone has a bright and gleaming past, but the moderators do their best. If you don't like the way you've been treated, feel free to talk to your computer tower -- whining about it on the 'net will not be tolerated, and will only continue staff action. If you have been scolded by a moderator or AJ, you were probably in the wrong in the first place.
Nothing a moderator/administrator says or does should ever be taken as flaming, but rather a friendly (or firm, as the case may be) reminder of the rules and that you have broken forum policy. If a moderator has been harassing you outside of sarcasm, joking around, and has repeatedly seemed to have been totally serious in their remarks, you're free to take it up with AJ. If there is no alternative, the door out is the big X on the top right of your screen.

Hope that was coherent...I'm not very good at entering debates this far in. :P

-DocTera

[FrankZ]

Clarification for those too dumb not to understand the messages conveyed in the posts correctly:
I. No one is asking for a 'anti-cb bill', this thread is merely to discuss your views about the cyber bullying.
II. As shameless as you are, do not direct your posts to me as if I was complaining like hell to thee great moderators.
III. Don't screw other posters. Have a sense of shame please.

[Neo]

And I couldn't stress enough how bullshit some moderators are. Boo-hoo, they were meant to keep the awesome peace in the community, not bash the hell out of newbies.

well thats why we fucking rule here on warboards. we love newbies. unless they aren't really newbies, then we destroy them.

>insert random member< is constantly harassing me. He/She says I am bad at Starcraft. He/She says I need to improve my Grammar. He/She is constantly flaming any thread I make. etc. etc.

Ok, I have over 1000 posts. I am a member of Warboards, and have been for a long enough time, that leaving because of one dumbf*** would be completely stupid. But I am still being 'Cyberbullied.' Now what do I do. I can only hope a moderator is willing to deal with the problem.

You are missing the problem here though. We have stuff in place here on warboards (specifically if this wasnt completely hypothetical) that allow us to deal with harassment (ok mainly we talk about it with AJ or whatever).

See leaving the site isn't the right thing to do, however, sending a message to the moderator for your section, or to one of the globals (gosh almost said seniors!) is a good idea, it allows us to know theres a problem, and if needed, to intervene.

On top of that, we have a pretty low tolerance for harassment here, of course this isn't true of other forums, but I like to think that no one around here is getting harassed that badly. or if they are, they can take the time to drop one of us a message.

Ok then, say the original problem person is a moderator. Now what do I do? Absolutely nothing. I can live with it, or try to reason/argue back with the person. Obviously, leaving the board would not be a viable option. Would you quit your job because one of your many coworkers is a jerk?
In this case, you contact a staff member who is not the moderator, or you contact the administrator and let them know your concerns.

(As much as the moderators here want to get all defensive about us saying that moderators can be bullies too, it does happen a lot on Warboards. Of course there are reasons, and I am thankful, as it does help keep these boards free of spammers and idiots.)

You should realize though that if you are complaining because you yourself caused something (eg: you helped to escalate a situation out of control) there isn't usually a lot of leniency in that case. You can't go and start something then step back and say "LOOK LOOK HE'S BEING MEAN!"

And I don't know if I'd ever call "keeping the spammers in check) as cyber bullying. I mean, you can't always be the super nice peachy moderator.

Yes we moderators are, in fact, part of a conspiracy to cyberbully all of you in attempt to cause mass suicide. Get out while you still can.

And for reference, if a moderator is "bullying" you you can go pm AJ about it, he's our lovely PR admin. If he disagrees, odds are your complaint was bullshit to begin with.
This needs to be bolded, while I wouldn't phrase it quite so bluntly, this is a pretty good thing to keep in mind.
Terribly sorry if you disagree with one of us, or if you feel we didnt go out of our way to protect your egos, but that doesnt make us bullies. It makes us busy people with better things to do than hold your hand while you make your 500th post.

to be fair though, proto is a total ass.

no seriously, i'm not joking

ok maybe i am

just a little

-Neo

[FrankZ]

And so, yeah, the majestic light of WarBoards and glowing balls of moderators' rep have enlightened me. I now have a new outlook in seeing the gold behind the bullshit.

If the staff fucks you, screw them. Anyway, its a win-win scenario, they fuck you --> you screw them --> they infract you --> screw them further --> they ban you --> new account --> they won't know, so you screw them further --> other account unbanned --> screw further.

Yeah. The net is a place for the survival of the fittest. Only the tough survives. You can't bully someone who can't be bullied, right?

[Protogod]

to be fair though, proto is a total ass.

Zomg harassment.

Frankz, I dont even know how you expect that post to be a rebuttal. It has nothing to do with what we've been saying.

We didnt say "screw them" we said "report them to a different authority" who can further deal with the situation. I dont see whats wrong with that.

[anderoo]

Frank, why don't you just tell AJ what mod was harassing you instead of starting a whole thread where you bash mods no matter what anyone says?

[Nephi]

If I may

As one who is "new here" I'd like to say i've had very friendly interactions with any mod or person i've come in contact with. I had a mod call me out on some strategy I was giving for StarCraft that he obviously hated, but once explained he agreed it was a valid strat for the situation and that was that. I didn't feel bullied, and through communication we were able to come to an agreement.

That being said there is a tendency and i'm not talking about here at warboards but every site, that when people get power they tend to use it and often abuse it, I mean just look at governments if you want proof. The only thing that can be done is hope that the mod/admins are mature people who are willing to admit there mistakes if they are made and are willing to listen to what the people have to say. Remember tho that every mod/admin has an invested interest in keeping people at their site, simple fact of capitalism is that if someone is doing it better than people will leave your operation. Mod/admins don't just want their own little cliques or they would have started password protected sites etc... they want growth they want people to talk about their site and to have it grow so they have more members etc. etc, so the greatest thing that can be done to hurt an admin/mod is to leave their site, if they are bad enough, enough people will leave and they will maybe wake up. The reverse is also true, if they are always really cool towards everyone and everyone feels like they are treated fairly and feel they can express themselves without repercusion from a mod that may or may not like their opinion they will want to stay and enjoy the communit as a whole. My first interaction with this community was one random night on IRC and I have to say it has been positive ever since, I think I got in a debate my first night here with Gunmonk and I consider him a friend now even though are religious views do not line up, I look forward to intelectual discussion on a wide variety of subjects with members here and appreciate the ability to do so on a site maintained by mod/admins that practice their craft with maturity.

Good communication is the key often on the internet we are to quick to say F YOU! or whatever and be done with it when later we realize we want to still be a part. We need to realize that although online may be different it is the same in that we should treat it like real life and try to resolve differences like we would in real life because with the internet the world is getting smaller and smaller :)

[Mr.Bad]

@ Neo. The situation was enirely hypothetical, no need to get yourself worried.

Perhaps "Cyber Bullying" isn't the right term. But the problem I enunciated is actually nearly nonexistent here at Warboards. Though the mods can be harsh, they are not the domineering, "I'm in charge and you're not, so f**k off" type, that can really annoy me at other sites.

My point is, just because the problem is rather small here doesn't mean that the same is true of every other site.

[GenocideAlive]

Frank has a valid point, and some people are instinctively defending authority rather than questioning it as the OP has suggested. I'm not entirely sure I can find the mental gumption to throw myself behind the "cyber-bullying" moniker simply because of its inherent childish nature. I personally believe the solution is not to take your marbles and go home as some have suggested, but rather complain in a civil manner to a higher authority. Then if nothing changes (and you have no right to expect them to), simply state you are leaving and do so.

Others who see your complaints may be emboldened to attempt to make a similar positive change in their lives and mimic it. This speaks volumes; much moreso than slinging insults, making whiny threads, and belittling people that misunderstand you.

As for actual bullying itself, it is very important to establish a strong sense of self before venturing into heavy social networking. It is very easy to get lost in others' expectations, beliefs, and pressure. You must know what you like in yourself, and what you will not like, and stick to it even though it may seem a very lonely path at times. It can be difficult to break away from a group of otherwise seemingly well-adjusted people when they diverge from your beliefs, but it is absolutely essential that you do so. To do otherwise will give you the unfortunate experience of finding out one day that you do not like yourself.

Equally important is the ability to stop during a conflict, step back, and say "I was wrong." Even if the other party continues to be abusive and angry, to maintain your calm and apologetic position. These things make your life better, though they are harder to do. I find the best and most effective method is to condition yourself to stop ALL extreme emotional behavior and think about your position before any further action. Learn to understand and adapt to the emotional roller coaster, and you will find yourself a step ahead of nearly everyone around you.

[Nephi]

[quote=GenocideAlive;591710]
it is very important to establish a strong sense of self before venturing into heavy social networking. It is very easy to get lost in others' expectations, beliefs, and pressure. You must know what you like in yourself, and what you will not like, and stick to it even though it may seem a very lonely path at times. It can be difficult to break away from a group of otherwise seemingly well-adjusted people when they diverge from your beliefs, but it is absolutely essential that you do so. To do otherwise will give you the unfortunate experience of finding out one day that you do not like yourself.
[quote]

wise words online and offline

and my quote didn't work for some reason :(

[FrankZ]

Frank, why don't you just tell AJ what mod was harassing you instead of starting a whole thread where you bash mods no matter what anyone says?


anderoo, telling AJ that you are being bullied just shows that you can't stand on your own feet. learn to fight will ya? Don't let them push you around. And its much more fun to make fun of those bullies than report them, no?

Edit add: GenocideAlive tells it all. You should learn to fight on your own and not be a snitch, don't go home and hide under your momma's skirt.