Brotherly love

[Zenox]

If there's one thing that gets me angry/upset/angry is liking a girl thinking the girl likes you ,then when you ask her out :" oh no i like you like a bro or a friend " :confused:i know i shouldn't be upset over it, but it's been happening for 2 years now, and i have no idea why, i joke around but i do make the girls feel that i understand them and feel with them i do them favors ,stick by their sides ,im generous, and no im not an ugly bastard i look decent, if anyone has had this problem before and figured a way out of it im all ears.

[IrishDutchman]

That sucks man. There's two ways I might be able to explain it:

1. There really is another reason (bad breath, whatever), but they think they won't hurt your feelings that way.

2. It's true. What girls look for in friends is not the same as they look for in a relationship. For example: You might be a funny guy, and they might like to hang out with you, but you're never serious or talk openly about your feelings.

[DarkMirror]

Friend zone'd!

[BludSyko]

Friend zone'd!

Pretty much.

I think (and I'm still testing this idea) that if you hang out with a girl too much, they'll think of you more as a friend, and you'll be stuck forever in the friend zone.

I have the same problem Zenox, and yeah, it's pretty much a bitch.

[SilverCrusader]

Ditto...
But thats ok. I find solace in running myself to death after being denied..

[Modred]

if you hang out with a girl too much, they'll think of you more as a friend, and you'll be stuck forever in the friend zone.

While it's a completely ludicrous idea, a large number of females act this way. Some girls will date a guy they just met over a friend, especially if the unfamiliar guy is a jerk in disguise (or sometimes not in disguise). Doesn't make much sense, but that's how it works sometimes.

[Gunmonk]

If there's one thing that gets me angry/upset/angry is liking a girl thinking the girl likes you ,then when you ask her out :" oh no i like you like a bro or a friend " :confused:i know i shouldn't be upset over it, but it's been happening for 2 years now, and i have no idea why, i joke around but i do make the girls feel that i understand them and feel with them i do them favors ,stick by their sides ,im generous, and no im not an ugly bastard i look decent, if anyone has had this problem before and figured a way out of it im all ears.

Alcohol... and plenty of it... I just recently went through the same thing, This is what I did, I picked up an instrument and played it, I kept playing and then I got good, thats how I learned to play guitar. If she knows then, chances are that shes not gonna go and date other guys, and if she does... then let her whore around, I know its painful, but its life. If shes gonna fuck you over like that though let her know that your sick of it. thats what happened to me, I got a txt message asking "hey are you mad?" I replied only with "what the fuck do you think?" They'll get the message, keep in mind, the fight I had with her was like it would be with a friend... just be careful not to take it too far. Shell learn to understand whats happening

[Protogod]

This looks like a job for the ladder theory. (http://www.laddertheory.com/)

[MatGeo]

Well, at least I'm not the only one...

Though I do think that if you joke around but i do make the girls feel that i understand them and feel with them i do them favors ,stick by their sides too much, they will think of you as a friend/brother/stuff like that.

The only reason I could possibly think of them doing this is(assuming she didn't say it because she didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying the truth) that should the relationship go wrong, and if you would have an argue of some sort, after you break up you won't get along as well as you did.

[Protogod]

Women hate nice guys. Srsly. Be an asshole, dick, w/e. Ignore her, tease her, anything, just dont seem like a "nice guy"

[Frattimonde]

Women hate nice guys. Srsly. Be an asshole, dick, w/e. Ignore her, tease her, anything, just dont seem like a "nice guy" And then they sue you?

[Protogod]

And then they sue you?


"he didnt like me" is not grounds for a lawsuit. :rolleyes: Thats a really immature way to look at it.

[Zenox]

Women hate nice guys. Srsly. Be an asshole, dick, w/e. Ignore her, tease her, anything, just dont seem like a "nice guy"
best advice yet

There really is another reason (bad breath, whatever)nope deffinetly not i smell like fresh gum + expensive perfume compliments of rich uncles..
I think (and I'm still testing this idea) that if you hang out with a girl too much, they'll think of you more as a friend, and you'll be stuck forever in the friend zone.that could be true thank you.

[Frattimonde]

"he didnt like me" is not grounds for a lawsuit. :rolleyes: Thats a really immature way to look at it. Meh :P

[Toucan]

We all only want what we cant have, once we can have it, we don't want it anymore.

You show them they have got you wrapped around there little finger, you will do what ever they want.
So, why not keep you on hold, then go for some one better, not like your going to go away or say no should they change there mind.
You show them that you will be there for them no matter what, why bother putting any effort into you, you give them the benefits with out it.

[Faiien]

Women hate nice guys. Srsly. Be an asshole, dick, w/e. Ignore her, tease her, anything, just dont seem like a "nice guy"
it works, no joke
nice guys finish last
assholes always get first place

[BludSyko]

This looks like a job for the ladder theory. (http://www.laddertheory.com/)

And here I thought women were "deep" :P

One thing I noticed is that the ladder theory is based more on after high school, whereas I'm still a junior in high school, so the whole aspect of wealth/power wouldn't really apply (and I go to a middle/lower class school, so not many guys here are born with a silver spoon in their mouth).

One thing I also noticed is that (high school) girls like to date older guys (ex: two of my female friends are both 16 and are dating 20-year-olds). Though, they said it was based on maturity (girls mature faster than guys... blah blah blah).

it works, no joke
nice guys finish last
assholes always get first place

No offense, but what if a guy doesn't want to be an ass? Or what if he doesn't want to date a girl who is shallow enough or dumb enough to want an ass?

[Protogod]

A
One thing I noticed is that the ladder theory is based more on after high school Incorrect, it applies to nearly all women. whereas I'm still a junior in high school, so the whole aspect of wealth/power wouldn't really apply (and I go to a middle/lower class school, so not many guys here are born with a silver spoon in their mouth). the bottom line is that it is a relative, subjective scale. Wealth/power at you school could be the difference between $5 and $20.

One thing I also noticed is that (high school) girls like to date older guys (ex: two of my female friends are both 16 and are dating 20-year-olds). Because 20 year olds have mroe wealth/power. They have cars & steady income, not to mention higher social standing representative of their non-monetary power. It's probably the best example you could have given. Though, they said it was based on maturity (girls mature faster than guys... blah blah blah).
Bullshit. WOmen are dramatic little attention whores. Idon't call that mature.

No offense, but what if a guy doesn't want to be an ass? Or what if he doesn't want to date a girl who is shallow enough or dumb enough to want an ass?

Then that guy will be lonely for a very long long time in his virgin life. Sorry. :concern:

[Toucan]

In high school popularity was wealth and the most popular guys always hang out with all the nicest girls.
Women are conditioned to seek a powerful/strong provider, a man that is stronger and more successful than his peers does tend to come off like an overconfident asshole.
But at the end of the day he is stronger and is more successful.

Don't set out to be an asshole, just don't be over-interested. At least not until you get some sense of interest back.

[Galiant]

If there's one thing that gets me angry/upset/angry is liking a girl thinking the girl likes you ,then when you ask her out :" oh no i like you like a bro or a friend " :confused:i know i shouldn't be upset over it, but it's been happening for 2 years now, and i have no idea why, i joke around but i do make the girls feel that i understand them and feel with them i do them favors ,stick by their sides ,im generous, and no im not an ugly bastard i look decent, if anyone has had this problem before and figured a way out of it im all ears.

woah! same here dude! but the the year is a bit different.

[Icarus]

Psh all these men over-analyzing things!

It's cause we're ugly. Really the stuff you guys are saying makes a lot of sense, and would seem to be correct, but in my personal life, and in what I see, it isn't true at all, it just comes down to how ugly you are. Unfortunately most men are really ugly.

[DarkMirror]

Hey, Galiant:

Friend Zone'd!

[Galiant]

Hey, Galiant:

Friend Zone'd!

stfu! and I cant even ask Antonette out on a date!

[SilverCrusader]

I hate guys that are assholes. And quite honestly I don't care if they get all the girls. I want my body and mind to be in top condition, so I can serve others to the fullest.

[Protogod]

I hate guys that are assholes. And quite honestly I don't care if they get all the girls. I want my body and mind to be in top condition, so I can serve others to the fullest.

Thats the thing - you dont get the chance to show how great your body and mind are untill you get that opening. That opening comes with being an asshole.

You can ease it up a bit after you're in, but until you've set the hook, don't go soft (in every meaning of the word)

[SilverCrusader]

Thats the thing - you dont get the chance to show how great your body and mind are untill you get that opening. That opening comes with being an asshole.

You can ease it up a bit after you're in, but until you've set the hook, don't go soft (in every meaning of the word)
Sure I joke around sometimes, but never will I be an asshole. Maybe I'll tell an asshole to quit being an ass.

[DarkMirror]

stfu! and I cant even ask Antonetta out on a date!Your not helping yourself. Every girl that knows you is probobly afraid that you would try to dress them up as animia characters.

[West]

lol @ protogod. so true.

[Modred]

...a man that is stronger and more successful than his peers does tend to come off like an overconfident asshole.
But at the end of the day he is stronger and is more successful.

But there are the guys who latch onto the "be an asshole" routine without actually being stronger or more successful. Note that this time is generally called "college" and is enabled by copious amounts of alcohol. Then the girls find that there wasn't really anything under that rough skin, and move on to another, similar guy.

[BludSyko]

Incorrect, it applies to nearly all women...
...
...Then that guy will be lonely for a very long long time in his virgin life. Sorry. :concern:

That was pretty much the response I expected.

I'm with SC with this one. I hate assholes.

[Toucan]

But there are the guys who latch onto the "be an asshole" routine without actually being stronger or more successful.
That's just a disguise, it's the confidence they have that attracts people to them, not the fact that they are assholes.

[BludSyko]

That's just a disguise, it's the confidence they have that attracts people to them, not the fact that they are assholes.

But then wouldn't the asshole part repel people away again?

[Toucan]

But then wouldn't the asshole part repel people away again?
You would think so, but we all love the confidence. And as that stretches out into success, we all love that to.
And there not really assholes, just overconfident, though people will call them an asshole for it.

[SilverCrusader]

Take your path as an asshole, I'll take mine in wisdom. We'll see who reaps more when the journey is done.

[Toucan]

Take your path as an asshole, I'll take mine in wisdom. We'll see who reaps more when the journey is done.
What, you mean like a monk?

But anyway, thanks for illustrating my point.

As you can see SC is quite confident in what he is saying. Though at the same time being extremely arrogant. Even though stating "I will not be an asshole", already being one.

Funny world we live in.

[Icarus]

What do you guys mean by being an asshole? I've been mean and said mean things to girls, and they just hated me or liked me less, they didn't grow attachments.

[Toucan]

What do you guys mean by being an asshole? I've been mean and said mean things to girls, and they just hated me or liked me less, they didn't grow attachments.
Your missing the point

Don't be try to be an asshole. Try to be nice.

If you are more confident and more desirable than your peers they will perceive you as an asshole anyway!

Thats why the so called assholes always go out with nicest ladies. Not because the nicest ladies actually like assholes. But because those that are more desirable to the nicest ladies are perceived as assholes by those that are not.

[SuiCidAl-KiSmEt]

*

Asshole means stupid, mean, despicable, not hypercritical or disagreeable. I don't think SC is attending to be any of those three.

Through experience, a guy can get a girlfriend being the opposite. The problem is not letting them know you for a long time. It's hard to take the relationship further when you give off that friend expression for too long, that's the only thing you'll end up being. Meet a girl - attract her by either way people here suggest acting - quickly get to her: flattering and teasing her seems to work the best. Try it. Worked 3\3 times for me in the past... not bragging. Good to 'get to her' in a few weeks, otherwise, try not to be old.

[SilverCrusader]

Just Suicidal-Kismet said. Confidence does not equal being an asshole.
1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.
3. certitude; assurance: He described the situation with such confidence that the audience believed him completely.
And know the definition for the slang term asshole:
2. Slang.
a. a stupid, mean, or contemptible person.
b. the worst part of a place or thing.

[Toucan]

Worked 3\3 times for me in the past... not bragging.
And for other guys, that also liked your girlfriend, are you some nice wonderful guy or are you the asshole that got the girl?

[Toucan]

Just Suicidal-Kismet said. Confidence does not equal being an asshole.

And know the definition for the slang term asshole:

Do you really think your rivals do not see you as those things???

Time to open your eyes.

[SilverCrusader]

And for other guys, that also liked your girlfriend, are you some nice wonderful guy or are you the asshole that got the girl?
What counts more; kindness or getting the girl?

Do you really think your rivals do not see you as those things???

Time to open your eyes.
Rivals can think what they want. I am who I choose to be.
Quite the contrary actually, one opens their eyes after they stop caring what people think about them.

[Toucan]

And for other guys, that also liked your girlfriend, are you some nice wonderful guy or are you the asshole that got the girl?
What counts more; kindness or getting the girl?
I don't see how that statement answers the question.
Rivals can think what they want. I am who I choose to be.
So you don't care what anyone thinks? You dont care about the opinions of others, you only care about yourself.

And this makes you not an asshole, why?

[Faiien]

lol other's opinions affect what you do whether you know it or not :smirk:
its a vicious cycle
need a hug?

[SilverCrusader]

I don't see how that statement answers the question.
Ahh, but why should I get forked by your question?

So you don't care what anyone thinks? You dont care about the opinions of others, you only care about yourself.

Did I say I only cared about myself? I said I don't care about what they think towards me if you put in the context that I answered the question in.
And yet I quote by me:
I want my body and mind to be in top condition, so I can serve others to the fullest.
I will serve them to my fullest intent. But what they think about me is up to them, and I honestly don't care if they think me to be an arrogant jerk. And if they think I was a nice, kind person than I'm glad I could help them.

[Toucan]

and I honestly don't care if they think me to be an arrogant jerk.
Once again

Thank you for illustrating my point. :D

[SilverCrusader]

Don't be try to be an asshole. Try to be nice.
Exactly. Only... No try, only do. Do, or do not. There is no try.

My point being. Once you start caring about what they think about you, you try to fit in more... make them think more of you. You're letting them decide who you are, rather than you deciding who you want to be.

[Toucan]

Exactly. Only... No try, only do. Do, or do not. There is no try.
Dude, this isn't star wars and your not a jedi. We all make mistakes.
My point being. Once you start caring about what they think about you, you try to fit in more... make them think more of you. You're letting them decide who you are, rather than you deciding who you want to be.
If you don't care what people think, why are you debating with me? Not that I mind, I enjoy a good debate with smart young people like yourself.

[SilverCrusader]

If you don't care what people think, why are you debating with me? Not that I mind, I enjoy a good debate with smart young people like yourself.
The same could be said for me.

Dude, this isn't star wars and your not a jedi. We all make mistakes.
I felt like quoting Yoda :P. As for my mistakes. I laugh at mine.

[SuiCidAl-KiSmEt]

And for other guys, that also liked your girlfriend, are you some nice wonderful guy or are you the asshole that got the girl?
No one else likes Kae, better not. I don't know what your talking about. "also liked your girlfriend" what? X.X lolz?
What mostly stood me out is that I came to her first, stating that might make me seem greedy, but I'm proud of the outcome. I was so attracted, just had to make sure. Anyways, I was 'nice wonderful guy'. We talked for such a long time before. I got her that way. She got me too. Two years ago was such a good time...

I'm sure if I did the same thing to another girl I would be successful again in dating, but there won't be a next time, just wont.

Damn, I didn't want to talk about my life story, but I was so compelled to answer for some reason...

[Protogod]

btw, kismet, we're talking about average women, not kae. Kae isnt really a good example of the common scenario.

[MatGeo]

SilverCrusader, I believe you totally missed Toucan's point. He meant to explain that you don't have to be an asshole yourself, but you have to be in such a way that makes others see you as an asshole.

You achieve that by being overconfident in certain matters.

Now, a humble request: please try to understand what others tell you before you start filling a page with pointless argues which could have easily been avoided should you have more carefully read a single post (http://www.warboards.org/showpost.php?p=562330&postcount=33).

[Zenox]

i read the ladder theory and it actually explains the shallowness of women, i now come to believe that the NO im getting is because other guys have cars, and that pretty much gives them an upper hand no matter how they are, most girls date the money and cars, in exchange of selling their lips or body parts or more, i don't blame them i'd want the same when i get a car and have money.the "this sux part" is that i'd get a girl used by many guys, why wont a girl settle for a guy now because he's nice and wait for the car later?

[Galiant]

Your not helping yourself. Every girl that knows you is probobly afraid that you would try to dress them up as animia characters.

lol they're as much as anime freaks as me! I only got.. how you say.. "infected" by their animeness when we first moved here.

They even have cosplays like Ren from elemental Gerad. The only cosplay I have is a Ninja Sensei from Naruto (the one that kakashi wears) (http://youtube.com/watch?v=tdPtMuGJXpo&feature=related) and a Warcraft 3 captain!

:o

[Jimmy_the_saint]

@ Galiant: WTF????


On topic: I agree Being an "asshole" eg. treating her a bit rougher than you would a tiny child, is probably a sure fire way to go. A girl doesnt want a guy they can just walk over.
But dont go over board to the point where you repel them.

[SilverCrusader]

SilverCrusader, I believe you totally missed Toucan's point. He meant to explain that you don't have to be an asshole yourself, but you have to be in such a way that makes others see you as an asshole.

You achieve that by being overconfident in certain matters.

Now, a humble request: please try to understand what others tell you before you start filling a page with pointless argues which could have easily been avoided should you have more carefully read a single post.
No, my whole point was not to be an asshole at all. People don't like assholes. They are jerks to other people. I don't care who you are really. If you're acting like an asshole, you are one because you decided to be one. I've already said you are who you decide to be.

And if your theory is correct. Prefontaine, the greatest runner ever, was a definite asshole.

[Faiien]

i think your taking the term "@sshole" in a different way then the other members are interpreting it. I think their definition is someone that may come off as arrogant because they are overconfident and certain in their actions, which may make them seem "@sshole-ish." I think your definition of an @sshole is more like a jerkwad that is stupid and, or, irritating.

For some unbeknownst reason to mankind, girls like guys that know what they want and go for it without any self-reflection, hence the "@sshole" term that is being used in context by the other members. I guess they want someone that can keep them on their toes, someone they cant just stomp all over. Making it seem like your unavailable is also a very popular way to get the ladies, theoretically. Hence the phrase "girls want what they cant get :cool:."

[Protogod]

People don't like assholes.

If that were true, the ladder theory wouldnt exist. Clearly your point is antiquated and mistaken when it comes to real life situations.


Not everyone shares your values, SC, and more importantly, people who are assholes have historically gotten the girl. I dont care if it's your personal mission not to be an asshole. That's all well and good, but there is a difference between what you want for yourself, and practicality.

Juts because you want a girl without being an asshole doesnt mean "everyone hates asshles, grr you're wrong!" Really, your personal feelings do not count as empirical evidence. They are not proven nor observed. They are just something you wish worked.

I don't want to bring personal stuff into this, but iirc, werent you the one on bnet some months ago bitching that you got shot down (again)

[Thedutchjelle]

I support SC in his anti-Asshole opinion.

[Protogod]

I support SC in his anti-Asshole opinion.

I reiterate - how many women have you had?

[Serban]

I reiterate - how many women have you had?
And how many times have YOU experienced TRUE love or as close as it can be? [taking me out, my cases are none]

[Modred]

I reiterate - how many women have you had?

And here you reveal an implicit assumption that every male focuses solely on how many women he can inseminate before he dies. Not everyone shares your view.

On another note, every so often, a nice guy will find a nice girl who isn't attracted to the overconfidence of the more ass-like male. Now when this girl comes along, the nice guy better damn well make sure he doesn't screw it up completely, cause those girls don't exist in large quantity. I, for one, have already blown that one, so time to re-evaluate my dating strategy.

[Toucan]

It's good to see that everyone thinks it would be a nice guy that would take the girl of your dreams from you.

It's good to know that even though your hart is broken and you have to watch another guy spend happy moments with the girl you have been wanting to spend some time with yourself, that you won't look at that guy and go: "Asshole".

Speaking from past experience, I know I would. I know I did.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Alright. Ill square with you. Being an Asshole (my view of said state of personality is cynical, sarcastic and kind of a jerk) will more often get the girl than not. Take me for example. I am cynical and sarcastic. I have had more girlfriends than my friend who tends to be a bit more kind to girls. Ergo, being an asshole (to a certain extent) will get you the girls.

EDIT: @ TheHybrid: I can say that I am truley in love right now. And I got that way from being an asshole.

[Modred]

It's good to see that everyone thinks it would be a nice guy that would take the girl of your dreams from you.

It's good to know that even though your hart is broken and you have to watch another guy spend happy moments with the girl you have been wanting to spend some time with yourself, that you won't look at that guy and go: "Asshole".

Speaking from past experience, I know I would. I know I did.

Eh, I've done it, too. For the situation I mentioned, I have no idea who the other guy is and probably won't meet him for a good, long time if ever, so it really doesn't press on my mind much. But in general, you're correct.

[BludSyko]

It's good to see that everyone thinks it would be a nice guy that would take the girl of your dreams from you.

It's good to know that even though your hart is broken and you have to watch another guy spend happy moments with the girl you have been wanting to spend some time with yourself, that you won't look at that guy and go: "Asshole".

Speaking from past experience, I know I would. I know I did.

If a guy took that girl from me, I wouldn't think he was an asshole. Given, I might call him an asshole, but that would only be because I was upset at the time; I wouldn't actually think he was an asshole unless he treated her like shit.

I reiterate - how many women have you had?

...and how many women have you hurt in your life? How many of them wished they had never met you?

[Skullflower]

I reiterate - how many women have you had?

You really dont have to be an asshole to get girls.

[Faiien]

You really dont have to be an asshole to get girls.true, but its easier if you are @ssholish
or you cold do it the old fashion way and just keep trying to find a girl that fits you ^_^

[Protogod]

...and how many women have you hurt in your life? How many of them wished they had never met you?

How many have I hurt? None.

There's only been one girl that had a bad breakup with me, thusfar, and it was more than mutual, given that she was seeing someone else anyway.

Being an asshole doesnt mean hurting them, it means being a dick to get their attention.

[Skullflower]

true, but its easier if you are @ssholish


Not really.

[Protogod]

Not really.

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://www.listek.si/yarly.jpg&usg=AFQjCNFgnN6DLSk6nGzGm1iMBgI2Szqi2g

nuff said.