How f-ed up am I? [Archive]

Duddits

12-21-2007, 12:23 AM

Sex. That's what it all comes down to. I've been dating this girl for about 7 months now, and I like her a lot. Yes, I've used that other L word more than once with her, but I'm 18 years old and have only had maybe one other serious, at least as serious as this one is (i.e. use of the "L" word), relationship with someone.

Here's the deal. I'm in no fucking hurry to get married... not for a LONG fucking time. I like to research things out on the internet before I buy them... Same concept (as horrible as it sounds) as here, except that we aren't talking about a 1986 Gibson here. We are talking about a relationship that last the rest of my life (obviously ignoring divorce... not that I have any relgious issue with that, but I try to shoot for 100% in whatever I do). I am fucking horny... and I hate how immature that sounds, but it is the truth. I am.

The girl I am dating firmly believes in the abstinence till mariage thing. I love her, and I respect her. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but we really seems to have a conflict of intrests here. I am horny, she is.... I can't say not, because she's told me that she is (sometimes), but prestated facts negate the possibility of any kind of sexual relief.

Thing is, I know this other girl (whom I've had a crush on since... bleh! 10th grade ((I'm in college now.. let's do some math... 18 - 16 = 2 years!))) who likes me. I know she does, and I know she is really down to earth too. She isn't the fucking town bicycle, I mean, I have some fucking morals too. She is actually a good fucking girl, someone who is funny, and real. Worst of the thing is that I know I could bang her if I tried, and yes, that is as crude as fucking oil, but I am god damn horny.

I am considering this very much! I am happy with my girlfriend, but i really wonder if i'd be happier with this other one. I am afraid that I would ruin one relationship for a failed attempt at another.

Consider my priorities: Happiness, Love, Sex, lasting relationship. They are in that order. Please give me your opinion: How fucked up am I?

Faiien

12-21-2007, 12:58 AM

your very f-ed up
gratz
well i think you need to put it in these perspectives
would you rather a relationship with a a girl who knows you and would be with you even if your dirt poor but has different beliefs than you for a girl who knows you, will have sex with you, and likes you?
its all up to you dude, i dont know these girls you do
i would pick the one thats more stable
sex is only one aspect of a relationship and according to your ratings its in 3rd place, so i guess you should probably pick the girl that makes you happy

Black.Ice

12-21-2007, 1:28 AM

Cold Shower, anyone?

You're letting the hormones do the talking. You're 18, and no doubt, they're coursing through your system right now. None the less, that doesn't justify pushing over anyone's beliefs no matter how convoluted or different they are. Respect their beliefs, and do what they want. You shouldn't try to change anyone simply because you can. And that means you shouldn't push her to have sex unless she makes the decision without interference from you, and that's her decision to make.

Now that puts you into a tough boat. You have to separate your heart from your head and act on your logic at times like this. Even though it may seem like the worst thing for you to split, you have to evaluate what's right for you and what's best for you and keep everything open.

Will the relationship really work out, or is it some hope that you have that's keeping it going? Do you really love this girl enough wait on sex with her as long as she sees fit? You have to decide these things, among others, when you're thinking with a clear head. That's probably going to be the hardest thing for you to do.

Asking on a forum expecting a canned response is the last thing you really should be doing. It's about the self discovery and deciding what's best for you, because no stranger over the internet can give you better advice than yourself. Love doesn't have any age limits. Some older people might call you naive, but what you're experiencing is love and there are countless examples of people who fell in love when they were young and it works out. I'm not saying the odds are with you, but I'm saying that it's a possibility. You know yourself pretty well, and you know how mature you are, and you know what you can handle.

Pretty much, take some time and think about this issue long and hard with a clear head. And make a decision. After you make that decision, move forward and don't back out. That should lead to some progress, hopefully.

IrishDutchman

12-21-2007, 1:31 AM

Consider my priorities: Happiness, Love, Sex, lasting relationship. They are in that order. Please give me your opinion: How fucked up am I?

Nah, I've heard this is quite a common thing. Guy wants sex, girl doesn't. Straight out of a raunchy teen comedy!
All jokes aside, it does suck. I'm not sure how much you're into this girl, so it's hard for me to give you any advise. If I were you, I'd dump her and look for someone else. But I obviously am not in love with her, so my opinion doesn't really count.
You'll probably hurt her feelings immensely if you break up with her because you want to get laid. You're 18, you'll grow apart if you go to other colleges afterwards. (are you? BTW) Once in college, you can probably meet someone new and more...compliant.
Don't think you're gonna solve this one by getting married, though. You seem to know that yourself too, just sayin'. And don't try to force it on her outside of marriage either.

Duddits

12-21-2007, 1:50 AM

FYI, I am very f-ed up, and I say this with a smile on my face.

I know that I won't solve this by marriage. Quite possibly, that is the worst thing I could do. I respect her, and love her so much, but I can't get over the respect for my feelings just the same.

Call it a raunchy teen comedy if you will. Personally, I find nothing funny about it, but I understand your point. It is true. It is so true that I believe that's why such films were made in the first place: because the expierence is so universal.

What to fucking do? To fuck or not to fuck, that IS the fucking motherfucking question, aye?

I do heed one person's advice though: Think this shit though before I do anything... My fucking god. not a single one of you have any idea how close I was to sending this one message to that one girl that could litterally change my life . Not such that she could not only agree/responde.(they are the same thing, more or less, but I'll not post the message here.) but the lack of response would signify an equally signifigant responce.

O dp heed the advice that I should first think with a clear head, not with a sullied dick.

Modred

12-21-2007, 2:04 AM

Don't risk a good relationship (at least, it sounds like a good relationship) for an attempt with another girl. Seriously, I've shot myself in the foot so many times because I'd be just about "in" with one girl, but then have a chance with another and fail on both accounts.

Of course, if I haven't learned, I wouldn't expect you to have done so, either.

WarInSerbia

12-21-2007, 2:14 AM

The girl I am dating firmly believes in the abstinence till mariage thing.
Is she's jewish?!
Is that her on your avatar?

Faiien

12-21-2007, 2:15 AM

O dp heed the advice that I should first think with a clear head, not with a sullied dick.thats right, think with your brains not your penis. don't get the two confused.

WarInSerbia

12-21-2007, 2:18 AM

Ooooooooooooooor...
Make the most romantic evening of her life and try...ask her,no woman can denny that!!
[At least in the movies that works...is it too hard to try?]

Magmaniac

12-21-2007, 2:42 AM

Almost identical to a situation i was in recently.

We ended up breaking up, now sex is a criteria for dating prospects, not just something to hope for.

Just follow your heart, things will work out as they should.

U-238

12-21-2007, 10:08 AM

You. Are. Fucked. Up.

How do I know this? Well when nearly every paragraph in your post(s) has the word "fuck" or a direct variant of it then you have issues.

I know this comes a bit too late but that (your situation) is one of the reasons why I think it's a good thing to abstain from any serious (or even flirtatious) relationships with girls/women until you're older and have already done your research on marriage. It's probably a much more difficult thing for you to deal with than I (since I'm homeschooled and don't get out much anyways, whereas you've probably been a victim of public "edumacation".:P) but you might just want to look into cooling the jets off on any relationship for a good while. Probably not what you want to hear but it's my opinion so, if you don't like it, sue me.

And thinking with your hormonal instincts is always a one-way road to hell.

UMSLdragon

12-21-2007, 10:49 AM

Ooooooooooooooor...
Make the most romantic evening of her life and try...ask her,no woman can denny that!!
[At least in the movies that works...is it too hard to try?]
Movies are always fake. DOn't go by them.

I agree with U-238. Wait and don't let you large errection control the rest. You may regret it once it's down again and you have time to think... speaking of which. What you doing now?

EDIT: Oh, you're not f-ed up, you're dick is f-in' up :P

Neo

12-21-2007, 11:01 AM

Not to sound obtuse... but is your hand not an option? =p

My brother was recently opposite this (horny chick, but she was younger by a year and a half and he's 18 which = major no-no) and he siad it was really difficult to say no to her. Though I figure she was just immature.

Cold showers and all that. If you really love this girl your with (Do you? Do you love her?) then stick with it. Don't let something stupid get in the way, and don't do something stupid.

That or take a different route. Sex doesn't have to mean every sexual activity does it?

>.>;;

-Neo

IrishDutchman

12-21-2007, 12:34 PM

That or take a different route. Sex doesn't have to mean every sexual activity does it?

Ooh, a loophole. Good thinking!

12-21-2007, 12:59 PM

hi there duddits.

i'd say BI and Neo's advice is up the right alley.
if you actually care about the person you're dating.. outside of the desire for sex, could you honestly tell her that i'm sorry, i love you, but i need to leave this relationship so i can go fuck this other girl that i've liked longer than you?

assuming no, then, heh, Neo's advice would come in handy. imagine sex isn't an option, there are.. plenty of other routes to satisfy some of those desires. but, sure. sit down with your girlfriend and figure it out -- if it's going to be a constant issue for you (it shouldn't but i understand why it would) then it's something that needs to be discussed. and if you sit down together and decide that this is just going to continue to be an issue, then maybe it warrants considering ending. however, i don't think you should just run off and jump in with your "2 year crush" and toss out whatever you have with whoever you're dating now.

Gunmonk

12-21-2007, 1:18 PM

well, I believe a pm that GA sent me a while ago may help you out very much

Constantly asking "what's in it for me?" isn't going to be much help here. You should probably try to help their family out since they're so generous with you. Try to understand that her family is going to be roughing it for the next couple months until things stabilize, and you either need to find a new fuck bunny or actually contribute to their lives.

I firmly believe thats what you need to think about. Oh and take an icebath

SolidSamurai

12-21-2007, 1:22 PM

You don't wanna get married dude. You have to enjoy freedom. People died for it for a reason.

WarInSerbia

12-21-2007, 2:30 PM

People died for it for a reason.
Thats just nuts

Kingscrab

12-21-2007, 2:52 PM

Sex is hugely important to many people and there's no reason to feel bad about wanting it. Sexual compatibility is vital, and (IMO) waiting until marriage is a risky crap shoot. Personally, I think anyone who waits until marriage is foolish and downright crazy.

There's no right or wrong about it. You want it and she doesn't, and if it's that important to you, you may want to tactfully bow out of the relationship. Is she open to "other types" of sexual gratification? That might help save your relationship. Doesn't sound like it's gonna last though, if you don't want to get married for a long time and she insists on waiting.

Life is short, dude.

Gunmonk

12-21-2007, 2:56 PM

Kingscrab

12-21-2007, 3:20 PM

wait you like sex and you wanna get married?!? that like being a gamer and switching to linux WTF are you talking about? :confused:

Thedutchjelle

12-21-2007, 4:13 PM

WTF are you talking about? :confused:

That's a one liner floating around the web, and he needed an excuse to post something for this thousand-post.

Zenox

12-21-2007, 4:18 PM

you over used the word FUCKING, second, control your dick, sex isn't everything in a relationship, it might even end one in my opinion

Faiien

12-21-2007, 6:30 PM

i wonder if hes eaven reading this anymore lol

GroG

12-21-2007, 6:37 PM

If you've really put this much thought and effort into getting with another person then I don't really think you love the person you are with.

Man up and get what you want. You only live 1 life.

Battlecruiser

12-21-2007, 7:10 PM

I think we can better help you if we have high resolution photos of both girls in question. Thank you.

Neo

12-21-2007, 7:16 PM

That's a one liner floating around the web, and he needed an excuse to post something for this thousand-post.
Actually that was a quote in my sig for awhile now, but finally poofed it.

-Neo

West

12-21-2007, 7:22 PM

just don't tell your gf and if she finds out tell her she didn't relieve your sexual needs.
that's what i would do.

SolidSamurai

12-21-2007, 9:59 PM

It'd be indignifying if she spreads the opinion that your aren't all that bright, though. She might even call you something like 'sociopathic horn dog... thinks women are objects, blah, blah, blah'. I mean seriously, women can be really annoying (I mean, irritably annoying), but they can also be intimate (I guess); though, I've never had a gf so I wouldn't fully understand. I've got just my wisdom to guide me.

You. Are. Fucked. Up.

How do I know this? Well when nearly every paragraph in your post(s) has the word "fuck" or a direct variant of it then you have issues.

I know this comes a bit too late but that (your situation) is one of the reasons why I think it's a good thing to abstain from any serious (or even flirtatious) relationships with girls/women until you're older and have already done your research on marriage. It's probably a much more difficult thing for you to deal with than I (since I'm homeschooled and don't get out much anyways, whereas you've probably been a victim of public "edumacation".) but you might just want to look into cooling the jets off on any relationship for a good while. Probably not what you want to hear but it's my opinion so, if you don't like it, sue me.

And thinking with your hormonal instincts is always a one-way road to hell.

Not at all. Marriage can be hell too. I just know from all the media and what I've heard from people all over the net, radio, and RL, on the topic.

Though, in most cases, it's always a nice idea to maybe use intelligence, maturity and confidence where it truly matters (like school and your job).

Either way man, if you DO move on, I'd suggest you analyze women from now on. Women you meet up with, analyze them (quitely of course; don't ask questions, be covert). If they're stupid, well, they might only care about sex themselves and you don't have to take the relationship seriously. Always think ahead. This might sound like cruel advise for the antagonist, but it helps you get through. Who cares if women think badly of you, just put up a good front, get a good job, make lots of money, and if people don't give a shit that you have money (ie. women) then that's them being trapped in a cage of ignorance. There's alot of people that seem smart but do really stupid, idiotic things. Something like 24% of all canadian adults (yes canadians, not even americans) don't understand simple documents like an owner's manual. It's a good example of how stupidly consistent and like rats a lot of people can be. Simply rise above it. A relationship isn't as important as your life. The same goes for the woman.

Additionally, it's always considered noble to be honest. Or, you could always simply tell a white lie, and just say 'I just gotta move on, okay? I can't focus on our relationship. I'm sorry.'

Either way, it's noble and honest to be open, even if you do lie slightly.

So there's my advice. To the rest of WB: Don't be hatin'!

West

12-21-2007, 10:10 PM

lol.
yes, women can be very intimate when they're in the "mood"
well, that's what it's like for me down here in Texas. But, if you say the wrong thing,
or do the wrong thing, or act the wrong thing, they can get very pissed off :D
(well, where i live it's like that, but then again all we got are hoes in my town)
but honostly i would do the other girl and not break up w/ your current gf.

Gunmonk

12-21-2007, 10:27 PM

I think we can better help you if we have high resolution photos of both girls in question. Thank you.

He makes a great point

Faiien

12-21-2007, 10:34 PM

but honostly i would do the other girl and not break up w/ your current gf.it would determine on what kind of relationship you have with your current gf
i know some people that know some people that date a couple of girls at once so...all is fair in love and war

hammocksleeper

12-21-2007, 11:41 PM

A lot of good advice in this thread from Black.Ice and AJ, I'm not going to repeat any of it. It should be mentioned that sometimes if a girl says "i'm saving it for marriage" she's not literally saving it for marriage...she justs wants to be with a guy who is willing to wait until she is ready to give it up, she doesn't want to feel used. This is not a rule of thumb, but also not a possibility that should be ruled out. Usually you can tell the girls to whom this does not apply as they are often hardcore into their bible study or religious identity, etc.

Your problem is not unique, everyone deals with it eventually. The question of giving up a good thing for the unknown. You are young. I say, all good things come to an end, and as selfish as it sounds you have to evaluate the value of your relationship to you, that's the only thing that counts. If you really like this girl is might not be worth leaving for what could turn out to be a silly reason - especially if you are a virgin, I would say too much emphasis is often placed on sex.

femoimal

12-22-2007, 3:14 AM

IT is funny how many female humans are full of those shiny principles: "never", "eternity", "wholly" and so forth. And there is always a man somewhere they are ready to immediately dump those principles for. With guilt and pleasure (the holy twins of female psychology).
Just say you do not want to touch her body before marriage and look at her face (don't, no really, don't).

... early marriage or early-locking up in relationships are statistical terminal life-boring events. But, well, that's still just statistics.

Darkslayer633

12-22-2007, 3:23 AM

In all seriousness, man just masturbate, then think about it afterwards, people tend to think much clearer after orgasmic release, let her know whats up, but don't pressure her into having sex with you. Maybe there is some acceptable non intercourse compromise that you two can reach if you love her, and you actually really love her, it'll work out.

there is a simple test you can try

think to yourself, is she worth the trouble?
if you don't immediately have an answer and you have to question whether she is or not, theres a fair chance you shouldn't be in that relationship.

or flip a coin, heads is the girl you're with tails is the other girl.

pytum

12-22-2007, 7:18 AM

if you are a calm dude and you are a dude that know what you are doing and know about that all action has an effect, and, the most important thing, you like-love her a lot, do not go to the other girl, seriously... and, it will sound really gay(its just a suggestion), but, try auto-pleasure, if you are "so horny", see porn or whatever:P

or kiss her a lot and touch her ass, but dont use your dick yet, i dunno

but, if you are a dude that had several gF and you are extrovert, and knows how to handle a situation(like a friend of mine, when he had girlfriend, all kind of temptations came over, sadly i must say, you know, all kinds of friends(girls) appeared in common sexy situations) and mature

maybe you should go with her and maybe, play with her a lil time

And about the fact that your gF doesnt wanna fuck yet, well, IMO i would do that too, but all can happen...

And , maybe is off topic, but if a girlfriend has something or thinks something or do something that i dont like, or that i do not consider correct(like smoking, i hate when girls smoke, i tolerate beer or alcoholic drinks, but smoke... hell no) i would cut her and i would find another chick that meets my , how can i say, my characteristics in a girlfriend

i hope this could worth the reading :P

Neo

12-22-2007, 4:35 PM

Duddits wtf, post dammit.

-Neo

Dark_Soul74

12-22-2007, 8:45 PM

Eh, it's been covered, but go for whatever will likely work better long term. If you're actually great with this person, why blow it all so some whore can ride you for a few minutes? :3

Faiien

12-22-2007, 8:47 PM

Duddits-"sorry i stopped reading after the 3 post"

SolidSamurai

12-23-2007, 1:53 AM

I think, being 18, duddits would've probably considered auto-shit. I don't think it's necessary to even mention that.

He most likely wants to have sex (on the sexual side of the issue), which is a change if he's a virgin. If he is, then it might be a lot harder of a choice for him on this issue. Being a virgin doesn't mean he absolutely (by 'morality') has to stick with the girl he's with, however.

If the girl is taking it purely by tradition to refuse the whole consent thing, then it almost questions how the marriage could end up being. The girl might be indecisive and quite on level of confusion with duddits herself, but in the 'female perspective' side of things, with the whole romantic 'eternal' thing that a lot of chicks are into. Some people even have repressed anxiety that lasts for months. Who knows. I'm not suggesting anything is psychologically wrong with your girl, however.

I hadn't thought about it before, but if your girl IS into the eternal thing, then she might not be much more mature than you (duddits), or perhaps less, depending on matters. Just saying, immature people have more difficulty thinking long term. Settling down might give the feeling of some sort of 'completion' that leads to safety (like 'I'm done', no more worrying about that ultimate so-called goal), which is, in all honestly really not a legitimate reason to actually get married before sex.

Thats just nuts

Feh, it may sound nuts but it's history. People actually did die for freedom. Think: American Revolution as one overblown example. :P

lol.
yes, women can be very intimate when they're in the "mood"
well, that's what it's like for me down here in Texas. But, if you say the wrong thing,
or do the wrong thing, or act the wrong thing, they can get very pissed off. :)
(well, where i live it's like that, but then again all we got are hoes in my town)

That's pretty much the issue everywhere (in regards to women getting pissed off). I always thought hos were more compliant and mellow/rude though. Usually their lack of education is what earned them disrespect, the hatred of many for their 'sleep-around' ways also led to the nickname 'slut' being a derogatory term. Girls that sleep-around purely to annoy people have issues though, clearly. Girls that do it because they like it are just well... whores according to our culture.

Duddits

12-23-2007, 2:14 AM

IrishDutchman

12-23-2007, 6:43 AM

Yep, life's a bitch. You're gonna hurt Bethany if you break up with er. But you gotta look out for yourself too. If you're not happy with your relationship, chances are things will get less interesting for her too. You're doing the right thing.

Faiien

12-23-2007, 9:14 AM

thing is... she doesn't make me as happy as she used to
eh..thats as far as you need to go. if your in a relationship and the other person doesn't make you happy anymore and you don't enjoy their company as much as you used to then its time to cut the string. yes she will be hurt and theirs probably gonna be tears involved, but the longer you wait this out the more pain its gonna cause her. Get it over with, let everything settle down, and i know everyone says not to do this, but see if you can be just a friend to her. If not go on with your life and she'll go on with hers. Not every story has a happy ending...too bad
The End

Gunmonk

12-23-2007, 8:38 PM

Fallen and Neo, you made my fucking smile (to conform to whomever it was observation that I say fuck in nearly every paragraph). I've read every post on this topic, and I can't believe that it literally doubled its posts in a day... Last time I checked, it was at 12... Jesus Christ, I was drunk as shit when I posted this, and I am now...

To give anyone abosolution, anyone that may have any kind of emotional investionment in this particular conversation, I'm pretty damn sure that I'm gonna break up with this girl. Not enitrely because of the sex thing(in fact, it is mostly because I like this other girl more than my girlfriend, and yes,if there's a hell, I'm going to it, but because if the fact that I like this other girl more). This story is a damn complicated one, and I'll not delve into its entirety, but do give you a general picutre, I'll present you with this: I like this girl. Her name is Carah. I've liked her for quite awhile. I can't say that she is the reaseon that I broke up with my last girlfriend, a one and a half year fun filled adventure, but she opened my eyes, so to say, of that there are "more than one fishes in the sea (and I hate cliche's... though I speak them frequently). I broke up with my ex, and now I'm dating my... current? I'm not sure what the term is for her, for those who wish to, as it was so eloquently put, analysis the situation. Though I have been in two serious relationships since, I still like Carah.

I can't say that I don't know what to do, as I am deciedly sure of what I'm going to do, but that doesn't save me from feeling like shit. I don't like to hurt people, but that is exactly what I will be doing if I break up with Bethaney (current girlfriend). I'd urt her a lot if I did that...

Thing is... she doesn't make me as happy as she used to, and this doesn't mean sex, or any of that bullshit. She literally doesn't make me as happy as she once did. For those who like algorhythms... yes, it equates to that I should "drop her like she's hot"...

Please tell me of the last time math involved complex emotions... I am dying to hear... It's hard for to to do this, but I think that it is what I'm going to do.

Fuck me.

Fuckin me twice over, to the moon, twice around, and back once more.

That is how I feal about the whole situation.

So she doesnt make you happy? There is a problem with that? My ex didnt make me happy but guess what relationships are about sticking it through when life fucks you over, and when she doesnt make you happy guess what, grow some mother fucking testicles,and get over it. Simply just breaking it off with someone because they dont make you happy is damned bull shit, if you actually used the word love and meant it, then the other girl wouldnt even be in your posts. If your gonna break up with her because she doesnt make you happy and wont be your fuck-bunny, you never loved her at all period. If I ever found out my sisters boyfriend was planning something like that, I'd kick his ass, and enjoy it too. Wimping out is not being a real man, I'd even question your motives in the first place. I advise you to not even think about dating anybody until you grow up and stop sucking your mothers tit. What are you gonna do when you have a family? Huh? What are you gonna do when you have people who depend on you and need you and all of the sudden your wife has a bad day and doesnt make you happy? Are you just gonna walk out on them too? Dating is preparation for marriage, just like school is preparation for the real world. In football (God isnt there a thing that football cant teach?) we ran gassers, at full sprint, cause if we didnt, it was the hill for thirty minutes after practice, if we got through in time we got out thirty minutes early, but we pushed, looking out for our brother next to us, one time I fell, and smitty and jack were both almost finished, they saw that I fell and came back to pick me up. Another time they fell and I came back for them, even the freshman who fell we came back for. But my point is this, did I make them happy coming back to pick me up, did they make me happy when I came back for them, hell did the freshmen make me happy? Fuck NO, you know why I did it though? I loved them, they were my family, I went through hell with them, I threw up next to them, They were my brothers. The same applies to you, and also my advice to you is to lay off the acwal

Atillawurm

12-23-2007, 10:02 PM

once again gunmonk blows the whole thing out of propotion, Its his choice get over it, if one partner in the relationship isn't happy then i just wont work, the relationship is going to go to hell in a basket, they are going to fight and both will eventually become bored, its not the romance of the century is a fucking crush, sience tells us that relationships last about 9 moths on average, because that is how long we can be infatuated with someone, inatuation is a feeling, when you see someone you like adrenalin (i think) pums to the brain and you "fall in love" the most anyone has had infatuation last is about 9 months, science dosn't know why but it just stops, they think its because the brain cant take the increased stimulation for a long time. So he isn't breaking up with her because she won't be his "fuck buddy" as you put it he is doing it because he just dosn't feel she is right for him, and sometimes it takes more curradge to tell someone that they just don't feel the same as they once did, and let them go, relationships work because both partners are happy, not because one is happy and the other is miserable as fuck, so piss off mate and come back once you finally figure out what you are talking about.....

West

12-24-2007, 2:19 AM

ehh... some how i got the feeling that if you break up with your current gf your going to get screwed..bad. ever got that weird, nervous type of feeling? yeah it's telling me that the other girl is gonna turn you down.
good luck, and merry christmas eve :)

DragonPaladin

12-24-2007, 7:12 PM

if we got through in time we got out thirty minutes early, but we pushed, looking out for our brother next to us, one time I fell, and smitty and jack were both almost finished, they saw that I fell and came back to pick me up. Another time they fell and I came back for them, even the freshman who fell we came back for. But my point is this, did I make them happy coming back to pick me up, did they make me happy when I came back for them, hell did the freshmen make me happy? Fuck NO, you know why I did it though? I loved them, they were my family, I went through hell with them, I threw up next to them, They were my brothers. The same applies to you, and also my advice to you is to lay off the acwal

It seems like a war out there.

Neo

12-24-2007, 10:41 PM

wow gunmonk that's a pretty shitty outlook. stay with someone who doesn't make you happy?

-Neo

Gunmonk

12-24-2007, 11:28 PM

wow gunmonk that's a pretty shitty outlook. stay with someone who doesn't make you happy?

-Neo

No it wasnt, My point was dont walk out on someone just because they dont make you happy because really its not supposed to be about you. My point is give it some more time, it may just be you

Duddits

12-29-2007, 11:51 PM

No it wasnt, My point was dont walk out on someone just because they dont make you happy because really its not supposed to be about you. My point is give it some more time, it may just be you

Wow... what a heated subject this drunk thread has become.

Anyway, I'm still with her. I'm on the verge of landing a job that would let me move out of my parent's house, though it is a little father away. I'm just gonna let the relationship slide a little bit, and see what happens. I love the girl, no doubt, but I wonder if there is something more for me out there.

My Uncle Scott was in this position once, minus the sex thing. He was in a relationship with a girl that he absolutely loved. They were about 22 at the time. He ended up cheating on her (with his girlfriend's best friend, no less), and, long story short, they broke up.

He did quite a good job in giving a simple summnation of the experience. How do you know that you're happy till you've hit the bottem? How can you gauge yourself, your relationship, if you have nothing to compare it to? I like the 40 year old virgin explanation, believe it or not. It's like growing pot. The more seeds you sow, the better the chance that you'll have a plant to grow. Once you have the plant, you fuck the plant.

More or less, the more variety you have, the better you're odds of knowing happyness. This isn't to say that you will be happy in the end, but it says that you will know when you are happy.

Maybe Bethaney is the best thing that will ever happen to me. Maybe not. I don't know, and won't know. I can't know. I know that she is a better girlfriend than my last, even though my last girlfriend had sex with me, but is she the best? With time, maybe I'll find out. If I broke up with her now, there's a chance that I just might be disappointed with everyone else, and then there is a chance that I won't be.

Jesus, relationships are so fucking confusing. I would probably win some kind of Noble Prize if I could decode it all into some simple mathmatical equation... but then, wouldn't that take all of fun out of it (though I hardly can call heartbreak fun)?

SilverCrusader

12-30-2007, 12:03 AM

thats right, think with your brains not your penis. don't get the two confused.
That be true.
In addition to that try to exercise A LOT more. It minimizes hormones in the body. You'll find sexual temptation.. a lot less attractive.

GenocideAlive

12-31-2007, 1:08 AM

SilverCrusader

12-31-2007, 1:27 AM

Whatever, if she isn't putting out then it probably isn't going to be any good anyway. To hell with her. I'm sorry, but if a chick won't have premarital sex, the married sex isn't going to be great either. Don't waste your time.
Ahh yes, do what you think feels good now. Don't worry about consequences. And don't worry about f***ing up the rest of your life. No no, it feels good, so definitely do it.
Wisdom? Eh, fuck that. Who needs that? Even if I get her pregnant I can just get an abortion.

Too bad most people don't even know what wisdom really is, and fewer still use it.

Kingscrab

12-31-2007, 10:15 AM

Too bad most people don't even know what wisdom really is, and fewer still use it. You're a virgin, aren't you?

GenocideAlive

12-31-2007, 11:31 AM

Staying a virgin until 26 is not admirable, it's the mark of the leper.

SilverCrusader

12-31-2007, 11:42 AM

You're a virgin, aren't you?
Yes, do you have a problem with that? Because although I'm only 16 years in age developed countries' perception of the world confounds me. But only the "developed" countries... strange. I wonder who is indeed more developed.

Staying a virgin until 26 is not admirable, it's the mark of the leper.
Ok.
Oh wait, since when did I care what society thought was and wasn't acceptable.

Kingscrab

12-31-2007, 1:38 PM

Because although I'm only 16 years in age developed countries' perception of the world confounds me. But only the "developed" countries... strange. I wonder who is indeed more developed. What?? :confused:

Wisdom comes through age and experience, grasshopper. Go through a few relationship breakups and get back to us with the results.

Gunmonk

12-31-2007, 1:40 PM

Staying a virgin until 26 is not admirable, it's the mark of the leper.

whatever... you still are a virgin... and your kidz... well dunchy told me the truth. If you like dicking around and gettting aids, be my guest

femoimal

01-02-2008, 4:19 AM

baaaaaaaaaaah i myself got on without sex for more than four years (after birth, and after i had some before). After a while, you just forget what it is like. You just have to do it once, and then you own it. Especially since when you get a partner that is as inexperienced as you are, it feels like Alice in ButcherLand or Buzz Aldrin on the Mount Venus (space suit included). Virginity is just another stupid idiocy peers put on you because they feel they are lousy lovers. Who seriously cares.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yes, now I tenderly recall of my first time... yes, a generously curved french woman, with the left eye 30 degrees off course and always zig-zagging. She smelled bad where you know and gave me some tongue infections the next day. It was plain marvelous. My physician and I remember as if it was just yesterday.

Ah of course, i am a heathen, and my virginity did not hold any sacred value to me. Perhaps i do not understand your attachment to it :)

KexMex

01-02-2008, 5:58 AM

I only have a small comment to place in this thread.

The fact that you mentioned "L-word" instead of saying "love" or anything really made me think for a second that you were calling her a lesbian or something.

...That may obviously be untrue, but it made me giggle like a drunk schoolgirl.

Toucan

01-02-2008, 9:44 AM

I have to admit I never understood the staying a virgin till marriage thing. I mean if sex is boring and not fulfilling after marriage your probably not going to stay married very long. Sex really does play a big part in adult sexual relationships. Surprising as that may be.

And as to getting a girl pregnant, if you are stupid enough to get a girl pregnant, IE. don't use condoms etc. Then you really are an irresponsible fool that deserves to have your life ruined.
I don't care what excuse any fool comes up with, creating an unwanted pregnancy is an act of sheer stupidity.

I have had many sexual partners, only my wife ever got pregnant and it was planned.
It really isn't that hard to plan these things.

femoimal

01-02-2008, 10:52 AM

....toucan its what you have been told. There are many little toucans around, maybe. Where does that number 27 lead your thoughts to ? :P

SilverCrusader

01-02-2008, 11:01 AM

Leads me to 3 to the power of 3. And since 3 is the biblical number of completeness. 27 means completely complete.

I can say holding on to my virginity is religious thing. I won't get any sexually transmitted diseases either. With a condom AIDs is like plankton in a net. So basically it isn't being very safe at all. Besides, I do what I want. And that isn't always what feels good.

Kingscrab

01-02-2008, 11:13 AM

I won't get any sexually transmitted diseases either. With a condom AIDs is like plankton in a net. So basically it isn't being very safe at all. Besides Plankton in a net? Are you kidding me? Stay in school, kid.

Here, I have a solution for you! I suppose there is probably some biblical passage somewhere that will kill the notion of man/robot love though... :rolleyes:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/main/5414105.html

GrassDragon

01-02-2008, 11:38 AM

With a condom AIDs is like plankton in a net. So basically it isn't being very safe at all.

Aren't they supposed to teach this kind of stuff in school? I'm home schooled and I know this is way off base!

femoimal

01-02-2008, 12:32 PM

talking about a lousy future when there is no proper education !

GrassDragon

01-02-2008, 12:39 PM

"...especially if the brother has died of AIDS."

This is gold XD

Kingscrab

01-02-2008, 1:12 PM

"...especially if the brother has died of AIDS."

This is gold XD Awesome! Hahahaha!

Vhaeraun

01-02-2008, 2:55 PM

It'd be indignifying if she spreads the opinion that your aren't all that bright, though. She might even call you something like 'sociopathic horn dog... thinks women are objects, blah, blah, blah'. I mean seriously, women can be really annoying (I mean, irritably annoying), but they can also be intimate (I guess); though, I've never had a gf so I wouldn't fully understand. I've got just my wisdom to guide me.
So, here's what you do. Go get a few gfs before you start acting like you're a master at women.

Not at all. Marriage can be hell too. I just know from all the media and what I've heard from people all over the net, radio, and RL, on the topic.
So, the only marriages that get on TV are celebrity marriages, and they certainly are not worthy of being examples. And the only time you hear about marriage on the internet or radio is when something happens. Most times, marriage is a wondrous experience. It's just the small misunderstandings that get into the public ear.

Either way man, if you DO move on, I'd suggest you analyze women from now on. Women you meet up with, analyze them (quitely of course; don't ask questions, be covert). If they're stupid, well, they might only care about sex themselves and you don't have to take the relationship seriously. Always think ahead. This might sound like cruel advise for the antagonist, but it helps you get through.
Spoken like a true moron. Yes, analyze them. But it would be better to ask questions, cause being inquisitive and getting the right answer is better than misinterpretting someone.

Who cares if women think badly of you, just put up a good front, get a good job, make lots of money, and if people don't give a shit that you have money (ie. women) then that's them being trapped in a cage of ignorance. There's alot of people that seem smart but do really stupid, idiotic things.
Why would not caring about money mean you're trapped in a cage of ignorance? There's more to life than being rich. The richest person in the world may also be the saddest person in the world, while the poorest people can be the happiness.

Additionally, it's always considered noble to be honest. Or, you could always simply tell a white lie, and just say 'I just gotta move on, okay? I can't focus on our relationship. I'm sorry.'

Either way, it's noble and honest to be open, even if you do lie slightly
So, basically, be open and honest, except for when you tell lies?

Gunmonk

01-02-2008, 9:19 PM

That may obviously be untrue, but it made me giggle like a drunk schoolgirl.

Drunk Schoolgirl you say? ooh thats hot.

As to silvercrusader get off the kids ass. He chose to make a decision and is sticking with it. I for one can congratulate him in that, same for PC, myself, and a few others that I dont know of. I have many friends who have made the same decisions, a gymnast (she wants to compete in the Olympics), all the guys in my band (because we want to be rolemodels [that and because of some events that I may/maynot be disclosing later this year]) its a decision that people make, and you have to respect that, we don't flame people for being gay, let not flame people for not having a sex life

Kingscrab

01-03-2008, 9:11 AM

He chose to make a decision and is sticking with it. I for one can congratulate him in that, same for PC, myself, and a few others that I dont know of. I have many friends who have made the same decisions, a gymnast (she wants to compete in the Olympics), all the guys in my band (because we want to be rolemodels [that and because of some events that I may/maynot be disclosing later this year]) its a decision that people make, and you have to respect that, we don't flame people for being gay, let not flame people for not having a sex life Heh. Who you kidding? I suspect that most of the time, the "decision" of not getting laid is made for you. :rolleyes:

Schwitzer

01-03-2008, 10:55 AM

A few people have stated that "It's her choice to abstain, you have to respect that." Well, yes... but the inverse is also true; her choice not to have sex until marriage effectively forces her partner not to as well, unless he cheats. This is the sort of issue that can cause problems in a relationship, and "just go and wank lol" won't necessarily solve that.

Ultimately, Duddits, you're going to have to talk to her about it. You'll have to decide for yourself whether your content to abstain as well, or whether you feel the trade off is not worth it.

As to this other lass... do you feel that your attraction to her might have something to do with the fact that she won't withhold sex? It's easy to start seeing the Other Grass Being Greener in a relationship, and you need to be careful not to throw away one for the hopes of another.

That said, if you're not happy you need to realise this as well.

Edit: And don't for a second feel guilty for wanting sex; it's a human desire and not something to be ashamed of.