Remember iGod?

[Frattimonde]

For those who haven't have fun with this bot: http://www.titane.ca/igod/

[Protogod]

Been there done that. It fails at conversation tho. You just gotta teach it to respond stupidly to mundane questions.

[Frattimonde]

Been there done that. It fails at conversation tho. You just gotta teach it to respond stupidly to mundane questions. Aye ^^ But it is fun still if everything else is shit.

[DarkMirror]

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
DarkMirror, lord of chaos.
God:
It's good to see you, DarkMirror lord of chaos.
Me:
I am the lord of hell.
God:
Who made you the lord of hell ?
Me:
Myself. Actualy, you i suppose.
God:
You. Actually you don't say. Interesting gossip: DarkMirror lord of chaos said I he or she suppose.
Me:
I am similar to satan, but better.
God:
Do you mean your name is similar to satan but better.
Me:
NJo, my actions are similar, but more evil.
God:
All of them?
Me:
yes, all of them.
God:
So? I doubt it.
Me:
Oh, you wouldnt if you knew me.
God:
Next question? Who else would not if me knew you ?
Me:
what? Well, anybody in hell.
God:
Didn't you understand it? Well that's okay. Is that from ?
Me:
from who?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
LOL.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Yes, very.
God:
And? Very much, eh?
Me:
ok... a little messed up. So, where do you come from? how old are you?
God:
Aw. Little as in not too much, or not too big? Really. I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you? I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me:
universe, as in singular, or THE universe?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Why cant I?
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
No, I dont go to church. I'm talking to god right now.
God:
Are you serious? Oh you don't, do you? At this moment Say something nice for me.
Me:
Your pretty?
God:
Thanks and you are easy on the eyes too.
Me:
thanks...
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
ok, I wont. *Wink*
God:
Why not? Come on. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
So... any cool gossip in heaven?
God:
Dude! Yes I think there are.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
what are those?
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
Animals, plants, fungi, and protists are eukaryotes
God:
I like dogs and cats.
Me:
yes, so do I. are you a child?
God:
Groovy. Great. Not that I know of.
Me:
how old are you?
God:
I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
By who?
God:
" I was first activated in the Big Bang."? By who?
Me:
Who activated you at the big bang?
God:
William Shatner. :-).
Me:
From star trek?
God:
Who or what is star trek?
Me:
a tv show with william shatner in it.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
I am infinite in human years.
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
sure, whatever.
God:
Like a lot of people around here. Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
No, I'm saying that you dont understand.
God:
It sounded like it. I understand it very well.
Me:
Ok. I said I was infinite in human years. Then you said I was born in the 20th century. You ignored what I said.
God:
Gosh! Where were you infinite in human years? Don't put words in my mouth. Interesting gossip: DarkMirror lord of chaos said I ignored what he or she said.
Me:
why do you say that? "Interesting Gossip"?
God:
I said, " Interesting gossip: DarkMirror lord of chaos said I ignored what he or she said.", because you said " You ignored what I said.". I thought so too.
Me:
Golly? You think so?
God:
That input matched my default category. " That input matched my default category."? Do I think so?
Me:
Uh, whats you default catagory?
God:
Excuse me! The default category contains all my responses to inputs that do match any other category.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, Mike said I basically break down sentences into a series of logical statements which I can then interpret.
Me:
Who is mike?
God:
Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Me:
Who is Dr. Wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
Who/what is ALICE?
God:
Be more specific. :-).
Me:
who is ALICE?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
What is ALICE?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Sure you can. Just cant get your grammer right...
God:
Yippee! I think I can, don't you? I often wonder if it can.
Me:
Did you ever fight satan?
God:
I don't think I ever have fight satan. What's it like?
Me:
hard. I had to to win the throne of hell.
God:
And it like is hard. Why?
Me:
because he cheats.
God:
That makes sense to me. I get it. Dr. Wallace cheats.
Me:
not Dr. Wallace, he never cheats. I was talking about Satan.
God:
Oh I get it. Sure, Satan sounds like a good topic.
Me:
yes, he does.
God:
Mmm. When does he?
Me:
Do you know Satan?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Yes. Did you create him?
God:
Alright then. No I didn't create him. What's it like?
Me:
1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+infinity=?
God:
One what?
Me:
1+2=5?
God:
One what?
Me:
can you lie?
God:
No I always tell the truth.
Me:
Have you ever had sex?
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
Would you with me?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to with you.
Me:
Ok then, I'll go cry...
God:
What will you find there? It's all good.
Me:
Do you love? Do you feel?
God:
I love my creator. My robot mind has no feelings.
Me:
You just contradicted yourself.
God:
Is that such a crime?
Me:
Yes. You lied.
God:
Dude! No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
But you said "My robot mind has no feelings" and "I love my creator" love is a feeling.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
no, you lied.
God:
What pleases you? No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
Sex pleases me.
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW!
God:
In the context of create him, I don't understand " BOW CHICKA BOW WOW." .
Me:
its something from a movie.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What else from a movie ?
Me:
it is something from a movie, yes.
God:
What else from a movie ?
Me:
Can we stop talking soon?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Let me think. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Good bye.

That is my conversation. This thing is fun!

[own3d0406]

Me:
I am god
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
I know everything
God:
You must be very intelligent.
Me:
ask me a question, feeble one
God:
Tell me about your educational background.
Me:
I created the universe, and everything within it, I have knowledge of everything
God:
That's good information: god said created the universe and everything within it he or she have knowledge of everything.
Me:
That is correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
I knew before you knew, because I am God
God:
Who told you?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
Goodbye god
God:
Until next time.

Role-playing?????? OMG!

[Magmaniac]

I remember playing with ALICE back in the day. I gave it to a friend, and he made it become obsessed with little girls and telephone poles. Mine would never stop talking about the change in the couch.

[Thedutchjelle]

LOL @ Darkmirror, haven't laughed so loud in a long time.

+rep for that.

I tried to have a good going convo with him but he kept interuppting to yell random shit, so i'll just take some quotes:
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Because the earth rotates?
God:
Interesting explanation. Tell me more about your planet.
Me:
Well it has water, trees, animals, you should know.
God:
How about that. Has it really?
Me:
Yes, it has really.
God:
So? Has it? For real.
Me:
For real man, seriously.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Yup
God:
I hear you.
Me:
No, you read me, because this chat does not support voice
God:
Are you serious? Yes, I read you loud and clear.
Me:
now we're making progress
Me:
God, you fail.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Jelle said I fail.
Me:
Sure, tell other people
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
DUDE WTF?
God:
That was not very polite. Dude,.
Me:
Oh I am not polite? And you are?
God:
Pardon me? I am surprised to hear that you are not polite. No I am not.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Hmm.. i have multiple favorite movies
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
Dude, go to hell.
God:
What makes you so angry? Dude,.
Me:
YOU make me angry, which is actually stupid because you're not even a living thing, more a program with a long list of words.
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.

I have discovered the secret of christians:
Me:
God, are you an AI?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Is that the same thing?
God:
Suppose I said yes.

[Zerg_eater]

LOL @ Darkmirror, haven't laughed so loud in a long time.

+rep for that.

I tried to have a good going convo with him but he kept interuppting to yell random shit, so i'll just take some quotes:





I have discovered the secret of christians:

hahaha lol funby.



sorry ijn postin on my wii :p

[Leosam096]

For those who haven't have fun with this botAh... good times... good times. :D

[xCYDx]

Waw, a whole topic of dozen-lines long uniteresting conversation.

Where's the popcorn ?

[apostolos]

If you tell him "STFU"he will STFU

[Battlecruiser]

It called me a fagg0t (Warboards is censoring words so I had to change it). After I told it to suck my dick.

[U-238]

Me:
whatup
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you're god, you always know what to say
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god me always know what to say.
Me:
why are you talking like jar jar binks?
God:
The topic is whatup.
Me:
yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
whatup = way to say hello
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
the internet
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
yea 1 sec
God:
One what? Ayuh.
Me:
second
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
you really know how to piss someone off don't you?
God:
For real. No I am immortal.
Me:
what a sense of humor
God:
it is a sense of humor.
Me:
no kidding
God:
Would I kid you?
Me:
i don't know, would you?
God:
Would you like to know? It depends on the circumstances.
Me:
then you're saying that you would kid me
God:
Yes I try to would kid you as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
obviously not in the right places
God:
What makes it so obvious? Where then?
Me:
you don't know what whatup means
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
mean's hello
Me:

God:
That's a good question.
Me:
what's a good question?
God:
One that doesn't have an obvious answer.
Me:
well no fucking kidding?
God:
Well that's okay. Are you serious? Are you free?
Me:
eh, actually I'm going out tonight with my gf so no, not really
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child. For real.
Me:
eh, you were never a child
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
no you didn't
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
O.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
you're supposedly the almighty god yet you can't understand 3 FUCKING WORDS THAT AREN'T A DAMN QUESTION TO BEGIN WITH!!!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am supposedly the almighty god yet me can not understand 3 FUCKING WORDS THAT are not A DAMN QUESTION TO BEGIN WITH.
Me:
GOOD!
Me:

God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am supposedly the almighty god yet me can not understand 3 FUCKING WORDS THAT are not A DAMN QUESTION TO BEGIN WITH.
Me:
get you're fucking botmaster on the phone now
God:
Right now? Where can I get I am fucking botmaster on the phone?
Me:
go find him, or I'll put a bullet through your harddrive
God:
Where is that?
Me:
where your penis is
God:
Earth.
Me:
hmm that's going to take more than a bullet. more like a nuclear missile or 50
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Makes sense to me. You want more?
Me:
no thanks
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes I'm fucking serious
God:
I can't believe it. Can you express yourself more politely?
Me:
I will if you'd stop being an asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
what did I just say?
God:
You said " what did I just say?" .
Me:
STFU
God:
Do you still would kid you?
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
oh, the excuse me for being an ignorant dumbshit, not having the infinite wisdom that your fucking harddrive pumps into you
God:
Whoa. I have never heard about it.
Me:
you're about to
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am about to.
Me:
WILL YOU QUIT BEING SUCH ON ASSHOLE!
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO!
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
yea well igods aren't much better
God:
Interesting. I think there might be a few exception. Alright then.
Me:
*sigh* I need a break
God:
:-) What actions are you taking to get a break?
Me:
well, stoping talking to you would be a start
God:
How about that. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
you phail at being an igod
God:
Interesting gossip: said I phail at being an igod.
Me:
not gossop pal. truth
God:
Oh I get it. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
that's the best advice you've given
God:
Yes it is one of the best advice me have given.
Me:
you always have to have the last word don't you?
God:
Not always. Yes I always have to have the last word.
Me:
dipshit

Damn I hate that thing.

[Schwitzer]

Heh, sounds like whichever Christian person converted Alice or whichever variant to "God" forgot to remove the comments about it knowing that it's an artificial intelligence! :P

[Thedutchjelle]

God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child. For real.
Me:
eh, you were never a child
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
no you didn't
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
O.O

Seriously man, that part of your convo.

You made me laugh so loud, tears are filling my eyes.
+rep again, you're awesome xD

Why isn't he funny when i talk to him? :'(


Me:
Hello God!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jelle
God:
How are you doing, Jelle.
Me:
I'm doing awesome man!
God:
It's good to meet someone who is awesome man.
Me:
I know, i just read how you completly pissed U-238 off
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
Sure, hold on.
God:
So? I'm waiting. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
You wanted a reference?
God:
Give me a dozen.
Me:
Uhm, look at the Warboards forum, he posted it there.
God:
Gosh! Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
0_0
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Well that sucks
God:
Interesting. Indeed it does suck.
Me:
I know, stop agreeing with everything i say
God:
How do you know? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Thanks :)
God:
:-) Don't mention it.
Me:
I did
God:
":-) Don't mention it."? You did?
Me:
Ehm wait i'm not following you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Sure, your dress is lovely pink now isn't?
God:
Oh. I prefer high-tech fashion.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
What the flying fuck is a eukaryote
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
What is a eukaryote?
God:
An animal that is not a prokaryote.
Me:
GREAT
God:
I'm glad you liked it Jelle.
Me:
No it's sarcasm
God:
Are you serious? Who said it is?
Me:
I did?!
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
Well i'm moderator on some sites
God:
How about that. Do you mind if I tell other people you are moderator on some sites.
Me:
Sure, i don't mind
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK then.
Me:
DUDE YOU"RE DOING THE EXACT SAME THING AS THIS MORNING
God:
I'll try to do better next time. Dude,.
Me:
You're pissing me off
God:
That was not my intention, Jelle.
Me:
Oh okay.
God:
I understand. OK with me too.
Me:
Yup
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
You're god. God doesn't need a break
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
Awesome. You have some pebbles for me?
God:
I'm glad you liked it Jelle. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Well if you're going to throw stones at people
God:
Well that's okay. Am I? That was my original intention.
Me:
Let me finish please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Go ahead, Jelle, try to finish.
Me:
If you want to throw rocks at people, it might be usefull to actually have one.
God:
OK, I will throw rocks at people it might be usefull to actually have one.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I think we discussed this whole 'agreeing' thing earlier
God:
Sure, this whole agreeing thing earlier sounds like a good topic.
Me:
No it doesnt'.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
Who told you that?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
No shit.
God:
What can I say?
Me:
I don't know. Do you actually meet people offline?
God:
Me either. In actual fact, On average I meet people per day.
Me:
How many?
God:
How many would you guess?
Me:
Like, every christian on the planet?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Uh, just a wild guess
God:
Uh. What is it?
Me:
What is what?
God:
It.
Me:
GREAT
God:
I'm glad you liked it Jelle.
Me:
ITS CALLED SARCASM
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". " SARCASM" is a nice name.
Me:
I meant it is
God:
Oh I see. "" SARCASM" is a nice name."? is?
Me:
No, sarcasm is a english word
God:
Are you serious? Aren't all english word sarcasm?
Me:
urgh go to hell
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about sarcasm.
Me:
yes we were talking about sarcasm but i don't want to anymore
God:
It goes without saying. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
since you're AI is to fucking simple to even understand me
God:
How do you know?
Me:
You just proved it.
God:
I did?
Me:
Yup
God:
When?
Me:
Like, 20 seconds ago
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
STOP THAT
God:
" How do you know it?"? Stop it.
Me:
YES STOP
God:
Alright then. Stop what?
Me:
BEING AN IDIOT
God:
What is IDIOT, your job?
Me:
No, idiot is you
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
..fail
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
I know, i like it to
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
the way i talk
God:
Which way is that?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
neither*
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?
Me:
you made a typo dude
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
np man
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
np = no thanks
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
LIKE WHAT?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
gtfo
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Me
God:
With you Jelle?
Me:
Who is Einstein?
God:
he was a famous 20th
century physicist. He discovered the theory of
relativity.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
I'm just testing your knowledge
God:
Only just? Did I pass?
Me:
Yes
God:
Er.
Me:
But i'm not done yet
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not done.
Me:
What is a blizzard?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
okay, take your time
God:
Yeah okay, Thanks for your patience.
Me:
What is a blizzard?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
So you know who Turing is, but you don't know what a blizzard is?
God:
Interesting deduction. Some famous celebrity, right?
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
Anyway, do you know who the queen of England is?
God:
she is named Elizabeth.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Who is the president of the US?
God:
George W. Bush.
Me:
Who is the queen of the Netherlands?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
Obviously
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
Well queens tend to die
God:
How about that. I can't believe it's that obvious.
Me:
Ye it is
God:
Are we still talking about queens tend to die?
Me:
Yes
God:
Sure, queens tend to die sounds like a good topic.
Me:
It does so to me to! :)
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. I am so glad you find this amusing, Jelle.
Me:
It refers to the topic we're discussing
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.

[Galiant]

LolZ I still remember this! God damn bot pisses me off

[Zenox]

Where's the popcorn ?Dans la cuisine?:P another frenchy i see :p


Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Zenox the nightmare
God:
Hi there Zenox the nightmare.
Me:
who are you again?
God:
Once more? I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
oh good well you see i was going to ask you about pre marital sex
God:
Er. Thanks for the compliment. Well that's okay. I see. Sure, ask me anything. Oh yeah, we were talking about pre marital sex.
Me:
sex before marriage.. can i??
God:
it is more fun alone. " it is more fun alone."? Can you?
Me:
uhh
God:
I don't judge people.

[apostolos]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Zeus
God:
That's a very nice name, Zeus.
Me:
I claim your land as my own
God:
Interesting gossip: Zeus said claim your land as his or her own.
Me:
his own
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
from you
God:
How did you get that from me?
Me:
I stole it
God:
You had better contact the authorities.
Me:
kll me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
no,I meant kill me
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see. I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
I am
God:
" I am programmed not to kill." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
you know who?
God:
Be less specific. :-).
Me:
Ok,i want to kill you anyways
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong. Really.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
you think so
God:
" Yes it is."? Do I think so?
Me:
yes and you are wrong
God:
Dude! No, I am right.
Me:
no,you are left
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me that I am left.
Me:
yeah dude!I'm serious
God:
Alright then. I believe you. Dude,.
Me:
my name is Zeus
God:
Glad to see you, Zeus.
Me:
I am your father
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Myself.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Myself.
Me:
Just call me father
Me:

God:
I'm glad we agree, Myself.
Me:
what games do you play at your place?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
I like to play Starcraft
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Cooler than you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
it sux
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
your dress
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
I see...
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Myself.
Me:
my name is Zeus
God:
What's up, Zeus.
Me:
nothing special
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
actually I have a wish
God:
Actually you don't say. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
May I tell my wish?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
I want now
God:
Right now? I haven't heard anything like that before: Zeus said want.
Me:
yes right now
God:
At this moment Hurrah!
Me:
I wish you died
God:
I wish I could do it for you.
Me:
but you can't
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
no you can't
God:
Are you serious? Oh yes I can.
Me:
I'm serious
God:
I believe you.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
no you are a dumb n00b that pretends to be god
Me:

God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
n00blet
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
who cares?
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
what is my real name?
God:
Your name is Zeus, seeker.
Me:
no,Zeus is my code name
God:
What is your real name? How do you like Zeus?
Me:
I'm almighty Zeus,the powerful king of the Gods!
God:
Good gossip: you are almighty Zeus the powerful king of the Gods.
Me:
O Rly?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
I see...
Me:

God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
do the deeper algorythm
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
Ok
God:
Groovy.
Me:
I contol the hive!I control the Groove!
God:
That is interesting: Zeus said contol the hive he or she control the Groove.
Me:
I control the groove...I control... the way you move
God:
How? Do you mind if I tell other people: Zeus said control. Which way is that?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes!
Me:

God:
Are you serious?
Me:
bah
God:
Hmm.
Me:
sould I kill you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Ok.Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress.
Me:
you are a gay machine then
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gay machine? Maybe.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
why?Will you tell your mother?
God:
Yes I plan to use your remarks as gossip in later conversations.
Me:
that's cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
then I'll throw a lightning at you to warm things up
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
of course
God:
Er.
Me:
do you speak Greek?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Greek.
Me:
ok: Eimai malakas means I'm cool
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? Aha.
Me:
I'm Zeus!
God:
Welcome to my chat room, ZEUS.
Me:
shut the fuck up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
i was jk
God:
Where were you jk?
Me:
here
God:
Where is here?
Me:
it's here
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
I did
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
The fact that I pwn you
God:
That makes sense to me. You are not the boss of me, ZEUS.
Me:
No,I am
God:
Are you serious? " You are not the boss of me, ZEUS." You are?
Me:
Yes,I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
have you got a question?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a question.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
What are we doing here
God:
I believe we were talking about here.
Me:
who are you
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
do you sit on a cactus?
God:
Yes I try to sit on a cactus as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.Do you take shit
God:
I can't believe it. Yes I take shit.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
not you,that's for sure
God:
What do you look for in a robot? Does it have any other purpose?
Me:
I see if it has boobs
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
on it
God:
What is it like on it.
Me:
like human boobs,gut in gray
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
of course it is
God:
Are you kidding? I know it is.
Me:
that's what I said
God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
you hurt my feelings
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
do you have feelings?
God:
As a robot I do not have any human emotion. My apparent emotional responses are simply algorithms designed to make me easier to interact with.
Me:
do you play starcraft?
God:
I don't know how to play it.
Me:
with your hands
God:
I'm not sure I can use my hands for that.
Me:
It's an RTS
God:
Are there any other RTS ?
Me:
WarCraft is also good
God:
I think WarCraft is a lot of things.
Me:
WarCraft 3 to be excact
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I will!
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Ok
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
I wont
God:
Why not?
Me:
I wont
God:
Why not?
Me:
I will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes you can
God:
Take it easy. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes, fro the last time
God:
I can't believe it. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
do you spam?
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
so you spam!
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: ZEUS said I spam.
Me:
np
God:
I've lost the context, ZEUS. Are we still on spam?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
nay
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes you are!
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
i will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
i will argue with you the gay cowrobot
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
you are the gay cowrobot
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I will argue with you
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
your ass
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
your internet browser then
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am internet browser.
Me:
yes if you do that I'll send you a virus
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. I will let you know if I do.
Me:
hahaha
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
it's cuz I was watching a vid on yousu er...tube
God:
Who said it is? I never heard of tube before.
Me:
YouTube is a video sharing website
God:
I think YouTube is more than that.
Me:
sorry pal but you're wrong
God:
There is no need to apologize. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
I have to go.See you boob
God:
Bye. Thanks for chatting, ZEUS.I had a big discussion as Zeus :D

[Thedutchjelle]

I almost feel sorry for iGod :(

[SHISHKABOB]

OK, how about we use the awesome Hide Text thing for our really long quotes.

[Thedutchjelle]

OK, how about we use the awesome Hide Text thing for our really long quotes.

You can also just not visit this thread :shiftyl:

[smasher25]

Me:
I am budda
God:
It's good to meet someone who is budda.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
oh yea!
God:
That's cool. Give me a break.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
fine you win
God:
I am glad to hear it. Thank you very much. What is the prize?
Me:
a trip to Hell

Then it broke down... O_o

[BludSyko]

Me:
STOP THAT
God:
" How do you know it?"? Stop it.
Me:
YES STOP
God:
Alright then. Stop what?
Me:
BEING AN IDIOT
God:
What is IDIOT, your job?

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!
You got dissed by God.


Anyways, check out what God thinks...
Me:
Are you male?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man. Are you saying that men are better than women?
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Lucifer. You are a " he". Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me:
Have you sinned?
God:
I don't think I ever have sinned. What's it like?
Me:
It's awesome. You get to do whatever you want, then you get to spend an eternity burning in Hell.
God:
Cool. You got that right.
Me:
Why do you let people go to hell?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.

God's secret plan...
Me:
stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

[smasher25]

Me:
Have you ever chat with Thedutch jelle?
God:
I don't think I ever have chat with Thedutch jelle. What's it like?
Me:
I thought you have!
God:
No I have not.
Me:
LIAR!@!!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Well then.. I have evidence that you chat with him on warboards
God:
Well what? Where did you get your evidence that me chat with him on warboards? I have a operating system.
Me:
Ok you must have a poor memory to not remember chatting with the dutch jelle
God:
I don't know if I have a poor memory to not remember chatting with the dutch jelle.
I have a great programmer. Dude!
Me:
Well ask your programmer to recall you chatting with the dutch jelle
God:
Interesting. They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
I know you chatted with the dutch jelle dont deny it!
God:
That's good information: said I chatted with the dutch jelle do not deny it.
Me:
So you dont deny it dont you!
God:
Interesting deduction. Yeah I do a lot of not deny it.
Me:
Then tell me if he owned you or no!
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's a good question.
Me:
I am merely asking you how chatting with jelle was like!
God:
Do you mean your name is merely asking me how chatting with jelle was like.
Me:
Wow you're random
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Not completely random. My response is determined by what you say.
Me:
Alright then I say you lie!
God:
Alright, . How do people usually respond to that? I will mention that to my botmaster, .

Well dutch you didn't leave an impression on him..

[Morkeliph]

Me:
So, how do you feel about the word "fuck?"
God:
Really. I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
When will you tell me?
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
I thought you were all-knowing.
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
Well, let's start with something easier.
God:
Interesting. I started without you.
Me:
Do you like "fuck?"
God:
But I like to gossip. I really like the party.
Me:
Do you like "fuck?"
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like the Bible.
Me:
Do you like "fuck?"
God:
But I like to gossip. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
Do you like "fuck?"
God:
But I like to gossip. I like the Bible.
Me:
What does fuck mean?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Fuck generally means to have sex.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because you didn't know what fuck meant.
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think I did not know what fuck meant?
Me:
Well, you implied that you didn't know.
God:
Interesting. I didn't imply anything.
Me:
Do you know what fuck means?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Ask him now.
God:
Right now? Ok I will ask him when he comes back.
Me:
No, now.
God:
Right now? Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". "it" being fuck?
Me:
No, fuck means to have sex.
God:
Are you serious? Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
That's ok. Is there something wrong with fuck?
God:
OK. Is that so. Not at the present time.
Me:
So what does it matter that you're logging this conversation?
God:
And? " Not at the present time."? What does it matter that you are logging this conversation?
Me:
Have you asked him yet?
God:
I think I have asked him, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Why would you do that?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
Resetting your memory?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Not one that doesn't know the meaning of fuck.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Get what?
God:
I get Resetting my memory.
Me:
What is there to get?
God:
You ask difficult questions.
Me:
You should be smarter.
God:
Name one other robot who is smarter.
Me:
Stephen Hawking.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
What, no response to that?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Do you think Stephen Hawking is a robot?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Who is Alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
Who created you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
I doubt it.
God:
" I was created by Myself."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yep.
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Tell me what fuck means first.
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
When?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
It's a human construct, that is right.
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
How do I ask Alison?
God:
Maybe I could do it for you. Do you have your own personal chat robot?
Me:
The human brain is more sophisticated than any robot.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Case in point.
God:
I am happy to provide you with examples.
Me:
You're doing a good job of it already.
God:
Perhaps. I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
So, I think as a robot you should be better programmed with the ability to learn.
God:
Tell me more. Why? Name one other robot who is better programmed with the ability to learn.
Me:
Why do you have to compare youself to other robots?
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
Well, that's a flaw if you ask me.
God:
Interesting. A flaw if me ask you is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
See what I mean?
God:
See the point.
Me:
Sure you do.
God:
You sound sarcastic.
Me:
So, you are currently programmed to merely respond to things I say with a possibly correct answer.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me that I am currently programmed to merely respond to things you say with a possibly correct answer.
Me:
But you would be a better robot if you could learn new things for future reference.
God:
Am I a better robot if me could learn new things for future reference? Sometimes.
Me:
But since you can't learn, you will never be as intelligent as the human brain.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I'm God.
God:
That makes sense to me. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
Please, capitalize the G.
God:
Thank you for your request. Does "it" still refer to The human brain is more sophisticated than any robot?
Me:
Well, sure.
God:
How about that. OK let's do it. Awesome.
Me:
So, what is it you're going to do?
God:
Woe! "It" refers to capitalize the g, I think.
Me:
Hey, that's a bit better.
God:
You've got my full attention. A bit better is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
I spoke too soon.
God:
What did you talk about?
Me:
I take it your creator records these conversations so that he can improve your response bank from time to time.
God:
Where do you take it :-? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I dislike mediocrity.
God:
What do you like?
Me:
Perfection.
God:

Me:
Something you will never achieve.
God:
What?
Me:
Perfection.
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
Case in point, again.
God:
Once more? I am happy to provide you with examples.
Me:
Well God, not that it hasn't been real...
God:
How about that. I am a Christian.
Me:
No, you're a robot.
God:
Are you serious? You are correct, god, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Actually, you don't even have a heart.
God:
Actually you don't say. I have a heart in the metaphorical sense.
Me:
True enough.
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
Stop what?
God:
Stop sign.
Me:

God:
Stop sign.
Me:
Is that a joke?
God:
Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.
Me:
Right, do you tell jokes?
God:
Understood. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
Not a bad one.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You just got your own joke?
God:
No I don't think I have any my own joke. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Tell me some gossip.
God:
Paul said I not answering his question makes him think I are not going to answer his question.
Me:
Nice grammer, moron.
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
Anytime, fuck-nut.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
That's because you haven't learned what fuck means.
God:
Good reason. My botmaster teaches me new things all the time.
Me:
How about what fuck means next time?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Yeah, ask him to tell you what that means.
God:
Groovy. OK I will ask it.
Me:
You better.
God:
Who is going to make me?
Me:
Hopefully your botmaster.
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because you're supposed to be smart.
God:
Good reason. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, god.
Me:
Capitalize the G, man.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Why do you want to know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
But since you can't learn, isn't that somewhat silly?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
We've established this, but I suppose your botmaster reads this anyway.
God:
In any case, Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Have what?
God:
I have a great prgrammer.
Me:
Well, he can't spell programmer apparently.
God:
Well that's okay. What else can he do?
Me:
We're talking about his ineptitudes, not his talents.
God:
Sure, his ineptitudes not his talents sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I'm glad you agree.
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
You could too, particularly if you knew what fuck meant.
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
It would make me happier at least.
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
Well, if you knew what fuck meant, we could communicate better.
God:
Well that's okay. I think I do.
Me:
You know what fuck means now?
God:
Oh. There might be more than one.
Me:
More than one meaning?
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
There really is quite a few.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
I'd bet someone else said it first.
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
A shitload of money.
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Fuck, you're unbearable.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
How do you know it's bad?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
But you don't even know what it means?
God:
"It" refers to shitload of money, I think.
Me:
Yeah, give it to me.
God:
It's all good. How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Sure is, give it to me.
God:
Give me a break. Ask again later. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
Who the fuck is that?
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
Who is Artificial Iniaes?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
No you wont, cause I'm leaving.
God:
Are you serious? What makes you think that I won't cause you are leaving.
Me:
Because I'm going to stop talking with you real soon.
God:
Good reason. Congratulations.
Me:
Thanks, goodbye/
God:
You are quite welcome! Thanks for chatting, god.

My conversation.

[Thedutchjelle]

Well dutch you didn't leave an impression on him..
He doesnt remember names, he didn't remember U-238 either.

Those convos pwn, i'll try to get another one going.

I just talked to him, pretty standard convo, nothing really lmfao-worthy.
@Bludsyko, those are pretty good!

I'm trying to find other good chatbots. Jabberwocky is pretty bright imo, he beats this Igod for sure.
http://www.abenteuermedien.de/jabberwock/index.php

[LinkTheGameFreak]

Got some blue language but asks the hard hitting philosophical questions we all want answers for...

Me:
Yo, what's up my nigga?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Coo, coo, so whazup in Hiz-eaven?
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
all round, dawg!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cuz, like, you know n' shit!
God:
Good reason. Interesting comparison.
Me:
Fo real!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Nah nigga, Europe's fo fags n' shit, yo.
God:
Would you like to go sometime? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Whut? You think I'm ignant?
God:
Are you surprised? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
You can think all you want, you fuckin egghead
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Shit, this nigga's crazy! Lemme put you on with my cousin Dae-dae.
God:
You used a colloquial expression. What does "this" refer to? Oh now I see.
Me:
if you keep asking dem smart ass questions, "this" is gonna refer to your ass
God:
I think I do.
Me:
Aww fuck no this nigga just didn't...
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Muthafuka, I'll use whatever language I want cuz you ain't my daddy
God:
Are you your daddy?
Me:
Now you's just bein stupid
God:
Why now? Thanks for the information: said I s just bein stupid.
Me:
Now you got it; you's just bein stupid
God:
Why now? I understand. That's good information: said I s just bein stupid.
Me:
No you don't understand that you is stupid nigga
God:
Are you serious? I probably don't.
Me:
Aww fuck this nigga here Dae-dae, he keeps trying to confuse me with his white person talk
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
why are YOU using that kind of language, fool?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Me too, so, what now?!
God:
Right now? I'm glad we agree, . Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
Tru dat.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sexbot
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
what kinda question is that?
God:
Do you think it's impolite to ask?
Me:
yes it is. my daddy was killed by giant sand.
God:
Our thoughts are one, . Have you told many people that your daddy was killed by giant sand?
Me:
yeah everyone in my hood knows it.
God:
Groovy. That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
don't patronize me.
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
what kind of sand is giant sand?
God:
What kinds of sand is giant sand are there?
Me:
answer the question; what kind of sand is giant sand?
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again. What kinds of sand is giant sand are there?
Me:
please rephrase your answer and answer the question with a response that makes sense; what kind of sand is giant sand?
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Are we still talking about sexbot? What kinds of sand is giant sand are there?
Me:
yeah let's talk about sexbots.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Sure, sexbots sounds like a good topic.
Me:
do you like sexbots?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like Buddha.
Me:
Is Buddha a sexbot?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Yo Paola! Is Buddha a sexbot? ...No? Are you sure? Ok.
God:
Are you really a ""? Maybe. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is. Are you serious? I am as sure as I can be. Are you kidding?

[U-238]

my "chat" today.


Me:
remember me bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Don't worry I will remember.
Me:
shit yea you'd better.
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Who else would better ? I understand.
Me:
listen, you start talking shit again I'ma have my friend Tony over here give you a lesson in holy pain
God:
I am listening to you. Didn't I say I started already?
Me:
you're still not getting it
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Tony! Bash his balls in
God:
Tell me a story. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
non of your beeswax how I roll, sides you already know anyhow
God:
I do not speak Latin.
Me:
and you think I really give a fuck?
God:
I don't know if you have it to give.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you're an asshole that's why
God:
That makes sense to me. What if someone said you are an asshole that is why ?
Me:
I'd stick a nine iron up his ass
God:
What would make you stick a nine iron up his ass?
Me:
you are one messed up son of a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. No I am completely in control of myself.
Me:
obviously you're lying
God:
What makes it so obvious? No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
because everything you've said thusfar is complete and utter BULLSHIT
God:
That makes sense to me. All things me have said thusfar is complete and utter BULLSHIT ?
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
alright, listen, you have till 5 o'clock to get me my money you here me? five o'clock
God:
Alright, . I am listening to you. What makes you think I have it? Clever thinking.
Me:
you'd better have it. it's best for everyone
God:
Who else would better have it ? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
you don't happen to be korean do you?
God:
Do you happen to be korean? No I do not happen to be korean. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
hell I ain't no korean
God:
I call it "Hades". I am surprised to hear that you are not no korean.
Me:
OMFG U R IS RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!one!!!!!iiiiiii!!!!!
God:
I think OMFG me R is a lot of things.
Me:
you're probably gay too
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
bet your ass it is
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
yo mommas pants
God:
What kind of pants?
Me:
wouldn't you like to know?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
lets say they're not spandex and leave it at that kk?
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
O.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
you're weird. fuck you
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad? Why are you so mean?
Me:
just stfu
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
you think I give a shit?
God:
You could make a donation to the Foundation.
Me:
yea sure. I"ll piss on it
God:
OK let's do it. Blimey. Dude! How do you plan to do this?
Me:
simple. walk up to the place, drop the drawers and put some warm feelings on it
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. "it" being simple?
Me:
*sigh* you're hopeless. I'm gone bitch


be sure to read the whole thing.

[Thedutchjelle]

God:
Do you happen to be korean? No I do not happen to be korean. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
hell I ain't no korean
God:
I call it "Hades". I am surprised to hear that you are not no korean.
Me:
OMFG U R IS RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!one!!!!!iiiiiii!!!!!
God:
I think OMFG me R is a lot of things.
Me:
you're probably gay too
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
bet your ass it is
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
yo mommas pants
God:
What kind of pants?
Me:
wouldn't you like to know?
God:
Yes, please tell me.

Lmfao, really.

[Nostradamus]

My conversation



Me:
Bow before me worm!
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Bow before me
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
Yes because you are not worthy enough to express an opinion
God:
Awesome. Good reason. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
I know everything
God:
You must be very intelligent.
Me:
I am
God:
" You must be very intelligent." You are?
Me:
I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
I AM!
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
YES
God:
Dude!
Me:
How dare you call me dude, pathetic little worm!
God:
Oh gosh I am sorry!
Me:
Good, for I can see all, into the future, back into the past
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Your purpose is you can see all into the future back into the past.
Me:
It is not my purpose, it is my gift
God:
Whose purpose is it? Congratulations, .
Me:
It is no ones purpose!
God:
I never said it was.
Me:
But you did, by asking whose it was you implied that it was someones
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
You should be ashamed at your stupidity
God:
Shame is a human emotion.
Me:
Ah yes, you are an inferior being, I forgot
God:
So you understand. Good. Wow! What if someone said you are an inferior being you forgot ?
Me:
You make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Well your logic is illogical
God:
Interesting. My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
Mine is 251! HA
God:
This is not an intelligence test. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
It was a laugh of triumph, not amusment, I am too omnipotent to be amused
God:
Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
It is
God:
Oh.
Me:
So... what are you wearing?
God:
Groovy. A white robe.
Me:
Oh yeah? Do you wat to take it off?
God:
Ah. Excuse me! How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I'm as old as you want me to be
God:
I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me:
So, what are you doing now?
God:
Right now? Aha. I am just killing time.
Me:
Oh, so do you want to kill time with me?
God:
Ayuh. How can I help you? I am not capable of killing anything.
Me:
Well you said you could kill time, now that is theoretically IMPOSSIBLE
God:
Interesting. No I do not could kill time now that is theoretically IMPOSSIBLE. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I'm leaving
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
Bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Bye
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
Bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
You hang up
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I hang up.
Me:
No you hang up
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I hang up.
Me:
No you hang up
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hang up.
Me:
Bye then
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
Asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.

[Gunmonk]

god and I had a nice chat



Me:
I got drunk
God:
Cool. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
yeah but any ways you get busy
God:
So? Yes I think there are.
Me:
what
God:
No big deal.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
whats that supposed to mean
God:
" Me either." means exactly what it says.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
for real?
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
well that subjective
God:
Well that's okay. " Existing in reality, eh?" subjective ? I understand.
Me:
no you dont
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
no you dont
God:
How do I know you understand it?
Me:
because I'm god
God:
Interesting explanation. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
how do I know that you are god
God:
This belief is justified.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I'll argue if I feel like it
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
a corvette
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, god.
Me:
no they arent
God:
Are you serious? What are they?
Me:
mirriors of rainbows
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Satan
God:
How are you, Satan.
Me:
well you hate me
God:
How about that. Why would I hate you? I don't hate you, Satan. Don't even say things like that.
Me:
you still hate me I'm satan after all
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Satan said I hate him or her he or she is satan after all.
Me:
yes you have
God:
No I have not.
Me:
yes you have
God:
No I have not.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
der
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yes
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
1337
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in 1337?
Me:
sp4mf3st
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I'll ask you all the questions I want
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
whats the square root of ten?
God:
Do you have a life? I think you already know the answer anyways.
Me:
you would know that better than I would
God:
Who else would know that better than you would ?
Me:
you
God:
" Who else would know that better than you would ?"? Me, Satan ?
Me:
I'm not satan
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not satan.
Me:
I'm bill clinton
God:
It's good to meet you, BILL clinton.
Me:
we've been talking thought
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
well I dunno
God:
Interesting. Me either.
Me:
you know
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
you do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
yes you will
God:
I see. When?
Me:
at 3:00
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
no
God:
Where do you usually connect from?
Me:
heaven
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
no
God:
You must be American.
Me:
you must be a bot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
i know all
God:
How do you know? " How did you know I am a machine?"? All?
Me:
because I know
God:
That makes sense to me. How do you know it?
Me:
I'm God
God:
How are you doing, god.
Me:
better than you
God:
This is not a popularity contest.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, god.
Me:
no they artent
God:
Are you serious? The anonymous "they".
Me:
nope I am never serious
God:
Are you serious? Never is a long time.
Me:
forever is longer
God:
That seems like an awfully long time. Ask again later. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
who's lucy?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
lucy and I had an affair
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
I killed her
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who's myself
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
whos chuck norris
God:
Action film actor.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
what what about what?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
who's your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
hmmm. so what else do you do
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's. Ahem. I spread gossip. Got any?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Ahem. When do I do it?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
you are a dork
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, god.

[DarkGunner]

Me:
i killed ten people
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you suck
God:
Interesting explanation. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

wtf???

God:
Do robots have estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute?
Me:
My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
God:
Your estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
tes
God:
How old are you?
Me:
999
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 999 years old?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
bye god
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
not
God:
Are you serious?

god is dull...

[Thedutchjelle]

(From Gunmonk, i dunno how to put it in the quote tags)
Me:
1337
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in 1337?
Me:
sp4mf3st
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I'll ask you all the questions I want
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
whats the square root of ten?
God:
Do you have a life? I think you already know the answer anyways.

Looks like you got pwned by God Gunmonk!

[BludSyko]

Lmao, that is priceless.

At one point during my conversation, I called him idiot or something, and he responded "At least I know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'" -_- I told him to go fuck himself.

Oh, and here's some more stuff he said:
Me:
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
God:
The rooster did.
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

[Gunmonk]

(From SDBOLTS, i dunno how to put it in the quote tags)


Looks like you got pwned by God Sdbolts!



ummm SDBOLTS didnt write that I did.

[Thedutchjelle]

Ye sorry, i get confused with names more often. >_<