StarCraft Paradoies! O_o

[NightElfking]

I'm making a map called StarCraft Paradoies #1 right now. It is gonna be a map with some funny stuff on it. However, I would like to see what your ideas would be. If you have a good idea for some funny skit, I'll put it in my map and mention ur sn at the breifing
So anyone have a good idea for a paradoy?

[reverb102]

wait i got one... the scene where duran kills stukov... insteed of killing stukov
he say "i need to go" like he going to need to go to the bathroom BAD... duran just waits... i think...

oh and then an army of marines pwn duran!

[NightElfking]

lol nice.
I'll put that in. Thanks for your contribution.

[Mr.Bad]

Just so you know, it's paradies, not paradoies. I can't think of anything at the moment, but maybe I'll add something later.

[DarkMirror]

Hmm...how about...

the first zerg level, where you cant build, say Larva is not responding. If this is the first time you have encountered this problem, please restart hive prosseces. If this is not the first time, please check your harddrives.

[Ktan]

It's Parodies.

No other spelling is correct, just to avoid any confusion.

[reverb102]

i got a nother one... jim raynor's vulture runs over random units

[Death505]

Ok i got one that would be funny. Its the level from sc 1 where u meet Sarah i think its like mission 5 or 6 and how shes like you pig! cuz of what jim is thinkin make it like so instead of him thinking of (O_O)> -- (-_-) here
just make him be thinking of like emm hotdogs or somthing

[reverb102]

wait here a nother one, the "nuclear fart detected joke" like the ghost use a nuke instead he farts a very big fart that killed all the zerg units... or something like that...

[NightElfking]

I like all these ideas. There good. Everyone who's brought up something is getting mentioned.

And sorry for my spelling. Spelling is just something I don't care about.

As for skits right now(including mine) we have about nine. I'm only putting 15 in because I want to make more of these maps. So this first one will only have 15.

[reverb102]

heres number ten... its the one were a probe pwned 100 ultralisks by firering a big-butt laser!

[DarkMirror]

Thats noyt a parody. Thats a joke.
Big differance.

[reverb102]

Thats noyt a parody. Thats a joke.
Big differance.

i guess you"ll take number 10 then...on second thought...
ill try this... marine flings a cupcake in a hydralisk... well i got nothin'... yet.

[ecyor0]

Maybe you could have a kind-of "behind the scenes" segment where Human Kerrigan runs into Infested Kerrigan and you find out that Human Kerrigan is the Queen Bitch of the Universe and Infested Kerrigan is the nice one

(Don't shoot me....)

Okay, sorry to double post, but I just thought.... maybe you could have a hippy, pacifist Hydralisk selling natural vespene gas in cigarette form....

[DarkMirror]

rev, your ideas are funny, but not parodys. Thier just jokes. Paradiys are jokes on certain situations that already exist.

[reverb102]

why not just make both jokes and parodies... for the map.

[Magmaniac]

I want a scene where kerrigan is talking to the overmind about their relationship issues.

"That's all I do for you. Kill these terrans. Kill these Protoss." - Kerrigan
"..." - Overmind
"I don't get any recognition and I put up with so much of your crap." - Kerrigan
"<_< >_> >_<" - Overmind
*Kerrigan attacks overmind and then storms off*
":*-( " - Overmind
*Kerrigan comes back*
"I'm sorry honey. I just get worked up some times, you know? I love you."
*Kiss*
















WTF IS WRONG WITH ME

[DarkMirror]

why not just make both jokes and parodies... for the map.
Parodies are more funny, and thats waht the guy is looking for. Now leave. We dont nwant your dumb "butt-lazers" any more.

[NightElfking]

Okay whatever StarCraft jokes instead of StarCraft parodies. I get it.
Let's stick with the thread.

[DarkMirror]

No! keep top parodies. They are more funny than a probe beating a hunderedn ultras with ';a Big-But lazer, lololo11111!"

[reverb102]

darkmirror,stop your whining, its jokes and parodies, and thats final...

[DarkMirror]

No, your jokes are just dumb. Paradoies are funny because they are twisting an already established moments, often with a twist ending or difference.

[reverb102]

a few post ago you thought there were funny... and still parodies are funny by the person who makes them... so if the person dont know jokes,they dont know parodies...

[DarkMirror]

Yes, but your jokes are dumb. A "Big-But Lazer" killing a hundred ultralisks? Thats imanture and dumb.

Parodies are an art form, and there are plenty of oppurtunities in SC for them.

[reverb102]

wait i got one... the scene where duran kills stukov... insteed of killing stukov
he say "i need to go" like he going to need to go to the bathroom BAD... duran just waits... i think...

oh and then an army of marines pwn duran!
that counts as a parody... fyi the big-butt laser im refering to is just a big laser...

[Death505]

ha cat fight

[reverb102]

ha cat fight
wait im a guy!

[Death505]

well your both bitchin about it.

[DarkMirror]

Yes, the scene you mentioned is a parody. Your "Big butt lazer" isnt. there isd no instance of a probue being killed bhy ahundred ul;tras, or anything remotly close.

[reverb102]

please stop talking about it... its getting old...

[DarkMirror]

Well then you do the same, and post Parodies!

[reverb102]

okay...

[bobboy]

How about one scene where one hero gets killed by another (like the duran-stukov one) and all the lines are exactly the same or have added lines to add drama, and when stukov is dead, duran leaves, and 5 seconds later comes back and drops a quick "Noob" and runs away again. : D

[DarkMirror]

I like that one.

[SolidSamurai]

Suggestion #1:

Some early mission where a 'rine whines about getting sent to attack sunken colonies. Say mission 6, episode 1. Show a scene of like 20 marines 'attempting' micro by pathetically running around whilst getting stabbed to death by a single sunken colony. You can also show a medic running with the marines, trying to heal but clearly failing since sunkens usually kill instantly.

How it might work: There's probably a trigger of 'patrol without attack', somewhere in the editor. :D

Make the 20 marines with the medic pretty much run around in circles as if in panic or 'attempted micro', as long as they're in the vicinity of an enemy sunken colony (which will promptly shoot at them).
You can allow the medic to attack, however, since she only heals.

"Y'know if the damn pussy were better at this game, then he'd of known that 'rines don't swing well with sunkens!" - Dead Marine

Setting: A bunch of creep, preferably surrounded by zerg buildings to create a 'zergy' environment with a sunken colony being the center of attention.

Suggestion #2:

Show a scene of a firebat whistling a tune, all alone.
"Heh, you know despite looking a bad ass for the job, I'm actually not all that useful, except early game. It's a depressing story but at least my bros don't get their asses burnt 24/7 online."
- Firebat
Play sound effects of 'rines dying to arclite siege tank fire.

Another bat walks in: "Hey man, fire fight!"

First bat: "Oh shit dude! I'm in!"

The first bat runs into another room where dozens of other firebats are already massacuring each other with their flamethrowers.

How it might work:

- The firebat can simply stand there. To make him whistle, you can display the text of '*Whistling a tune*'. He'll then say his piece in the form of more text. You can show the portrait moving if you want, or simply title the text with 'Firebat 1:'

- Play several marine death and arclite siege tank shooting sound effects simultaneously, a little ways into the text appearing. Supposedly, after the audience has finished reading it.

- Allow another firebat to walk in... display the final amounts of text, one after the other. This should be pretty clear to follow. Second firebat can be 'Firebat 2:'. VERY easy to follow.

- A few firebats from each team will be huddled in the next room whilst attacking each other. The game'll be set at 'FFA' or 'free for all', so that all teams fight each other (nvm, actually - the setting must remain at UMS due to unwritten, but coded law). They'll spawn when the first firebat walks into the room, the split second before the camera changes so that the audience may see them. The first firebat will activate stimpacks as soon as he begins moving to the next room, giving the appearance of him charging. The process should take all of a second. The scene can cut out before the firebats all kill each other, making it an example of 'fast slapstik comedy'. The total amount of time in which the audience may view the firebats killing each other can be just a full second.

Setting: 'Dungeon' map with rooms. Doors shouldn't seperate 'rooms', due to the probability of it delaying the movement transition.

Don't mind the language, dudes. It's how they talk.

This is all a parody of online play. :P

[Spied]

instead of "Not enough minerals", what about "Not enough beans"

[DarkMirror]

Not enpugh unrealistic magic blue crytals?

[JarquaFelmu]

Parodies are more funny, and thats waht the guy is looking for. Now leave. We dont nwant your dumb "butt-lazers" any more.

Dark, I don't care how much someone bugs you in these forums. You will treat people with respect and everyone is entitled to post. You have no right to tell anyone to leave. Please do not do this again.

I am fully aware that I am not a moderator of these forums, but that does not stop me from being totally disgusted with that post of yours. Keep negative comments to yourself.

[DarkMirror]

Huh? I dont get it, your not a mod. He dosnt have to, and I doidnt expect him to. Just telling him what I think of his ideas being not what this is masking for and inferior.

[JarquaFelmu]

It doesn't matter if you didn't expect him to leave. The point is that you don't say those things to other people, you have no idea what feelings you can hurt by careless actions or words, just keep that in mind for the future.

[reverb102]

i guess jarqua,is darkmirror whining again right?

[NightElfking]

An issue has come up with my computer. The computer with my map on it has lost connection to the internet so the map will now take longer than orginial intention.
This issue is being corrected as we speak, but the map is delayed as of this point.

[DeathFang]

I don't know, this may seem stupid, but you could have the marine say "Get me out of this chicken **** outfit" or whatever he says, and then have something to do with chickens happen. Like a zergling comes out tagged "Chicken." I don't know.

[NightElfking]

It doesn't matter if you didn't expect him to leave. The point is that you don't say those things to other people, you have no idea what feelings you can hurt by careless actions or words, just keep that in mind for the future.
wat he said.

[DarkMirror]

Fine. I'm just saying that his ideas detract from the thread.

[Ktan]

Well do it without telling people to fuck off then.

You need to stop acting like you own the place. Just calm down and try and be a little more patient with people, it pays off in the long run.

[Mr.Bad]

Yay! Goodie! Social Interaction lessons! Shame on you Darkie, you should really not be so cruel to all the poor little numbskulls in this thread, it really offends people! :)

[NightElfking]

Computer internet problem on my computer with the map on it has been fixed.

[Redhead267]

You should have the scene where Raynor finds Kerri infested, and then he will say "Kerri is that you?" Then Kerri will say " Yes I am Zerg now-" or something, and have raynor say "No, not the infested thing, you've gained weight haven't you?" And then have Kerri say "Well the overmind could only afford mcdonalds, and it gets pretty boring in a crysallis..." And then have Kerri cry a little, then go into a balistic rage, and send like 100 mutas to kill Jim.

[DeathFang]

You should have the scene where Raynor finds Kerri infested, and then he will say "Kerri is that you?" Then Kerri will say " Yes I am Zerg now-" or something, and have raynor say "No, not the infested thing, you've gained weight haven't you?" And then have Kerri say "Well the overmind could only afford mcdonalds, and it gets pretty boring in a crysallis..." And then have Kerri cry a little, then go into a balistic rage, and send like 100 mutas to kill Jim.

ROFLMFAO!

[SolidSamurai]

Darkmirror, you need only worry about what k'tan said, considering he's the mod. If your intention is to hurt ppl's feelings, then hurt them. Just do it without telling ppl to fuck off, like he said, because apparently that's illegal. :D

You shouldn't have to worry about the emotions of others, considering society clearly doesn't cater to that.

So, any feedback on my suggestion?

[Redhead267]

Darkmirror, you need only worry about what k'tan said, considering he's the mod. If your intention is to hurt ppl's feelings, then hurt them. Just do it without telling ppl to fuck off, like he said, because apparently that's illegal. :D

You shouldn't have to worry about the emotions of others, considering society clearly doesn't cater to that.

So, any feedback on my suggestion?
Hey its already been settled, so stop adding the gas to the fire.

[Ktan]

Redhead is right. I was also agreeing with Jarqua. What was being said was common sense, as well as advising him not to flame because it's against forum rules. My personal rules apply only to myself, unless there is a violation of the ToS.

[NightElfking]

Okay guys. I have made my decision!:cool:
Here are the order of the jokes (or parodies, whatever i don't give a damn).

1. My first one: A pet zergling: A Marine gets a ling as a pet.
2. My Second one: A random conversation during battle.
3. My third one: The idiot wall: Terrans try to defend a cc.
4. reverb102: The Duran and Stuvoc scene you mentioned on page 1.
5. DarkMirror: The thing with the Hive being like a computer.
6. reverb102: Jimmy on his bike running everyone over. Though my suggestion as for an alteration is a recurit from the Milita gets his driver lincense and asks Ranyor how his driving exam was. This is your joke so tell me if this seems better. If you like this one, please tell me if you like this better\
7. Death505: The part where Kerrigan calls him a pig and he's thinking about Hamburgers.
8. ecyor: The Hydralisk selling Vespane as Cigars. I liked this one alot.:D
9. My fourth one: The Terrans again try and alter their defense. What goes wrong again?
10. Magmaniac: The one you mentioned about the Overmind and Kerrigan. Soap Oprea jokes are always funny. Especially in a game like StarCraft.
11 and 12. SolidSamuri: The one with the noob having his Marines slaughtered and the Firebat scenes.
13.Spied and Darkmirror: The thing with the Minerals. I'll need ArsanalIII for it (Which I have) Although I liked the way Darkmirror wrote it better than Spied. Sry man. He was just funnier..
14. Deathfang: The thing with the marine coplaning about his armor.
15. My fifth one: Those idots once again rebuild their defense. Aliens reference in this one.

Thank you for all your ideas and I will make the map will all deliberate speed. For the ideas that didn't make it, don't worry. I'll make another jokes map soon when I have alot more ideas myself.
Every idea (ones I approved and disapproved) earns u some rep points. So you all won!

[DarkMirror]

Yay!
Player: (Clicks to build marine)

Computer: *BEEP*Not enough unrealistic magic blue crytals.(I mean, there cant just be one type of mineral in the entire universe, can there? What about IRON!)

Player: Ok...

[Death505]

Oh nice i got in wow i wasnt even trying.

[DeathFang]

Yay!
Player: (Clicks to build marine)

Computer: *BEEP*Not enough unrealistic magic blue crytals.(I mean, there cant just be one type of mineral in the entire universe, can there? What about IRON!)

Player: Ok...

That's pretty damn funny. Yeah, I agree. :P

[DarkMirror]

Yeah, I know. It is funny. But add some more !!!s and a few ones to the bit after "IRON"

And you dont have to edit the game. You could just use a tect message.

[NightElfking]

I know. But it would much better that way.

[DarkMirror]

I suppose...

But if you want more poeple to use it, and to have it useable on B-net, just use a text and the klaxon soundfile.

[NightElfking]

Hmm...
To make it look professinal, or just use a test? Hard choice for me.

[SolidSamurai]

That's pretty damn funny. Yeah, I agree. :P

How about a reference to the periodic table of 'metallic' elements?

15. Aliens reference? The least you could do is have one marine go "We're over! We're done! Game over, man! Game over!"
Perhaps a girly firebat with estrogen pills who says "They mostly come at night. Mostly..."?

[fitofjoy]

The mission where Zerg overrun Kerrigan and she is captured:

RAYNOR. I'm telling you, Matthew Perry was on 90210 like, one time.
MENGSK. You're shittin' me-
KERRIGAN. -Guys, how 'bout that evac?
RAYNOR. I swear to God, I caught a rerun yesterday and it was totally him!
KERRIGAN. Seriously, boys, the base is crawling with zergling. . .
MENGSK. Did you look it up on imdb.com?
KERRIGAN. They're in the Command Center. . .
RAYNOR. No, but I could swear it was him.
KERRIGAN. They just decapitated an SCV worker and defecated in his skull!
MENGSK. I still say you're full of shit!
KERRIGAN. Aggghhh! (dead)
RAYNOR. I'm sorry, I didn't have my radio on. You say somethin', darlin'?
MENGSK. Probably nothing important.
RAYNOR. Women.

Raynor and Mengsk share a hardy laugh.

KERRIGAN. (inside the chrysalis) That’s it, you dicks are dead.

[Ktan]

Haha, that's brilliant!

[fitofjoy]

First Zerg Campaign Mission from original SC:

(Terran forces storm the tiny Zerg base. Two marines walk over to the chrysalis)

LARRY. Hey Bob, look at this thing!
BOB. What do ya reckon it is?
LARRY. Looks like one of them things from that movie, Cocoon. What were they called?
BOB. You mean a cocoon?
LARRY. Yep, that was it.
DAGGOTH. Get away from that you inbreeds!
LARRY. Did you hear somethin’?
BOB. Sounded like my pappy after he got his throat surgery, on account of all them cigarettes he liked to smoke.
DAGGOTH. Minions, protect the chrysalis!
LARRY. That reminds me, your mom is hot.
BOB. Would you shut up?
DAGGOTH. Will someone please kill them!
LARRY. Seriously, is she seeing anyone?
DAGGTOH. Oh come on! You, larva, start biting his ankles!
BOB. Aww look, one of them slimy things wants some affection.
LARRY. Man, that thing is ugly as sin.
DAGGOTH. I said “attack”, not roll over and get our tummy scratched!
BOB. Look at that, 3:15, time for our break.
LARRY. Sweet Jesus, I need to get out of this suit. My boys are itching like crazy.
BOB. You said it, brother.
DAGGOTH. Thank God for human laziness.

[NightElfking]

The mission where Zerg overrun Kerrigan and she is captured:

RAYNOR. I'm telling you, Matthew Perry was on 90210 like, one time.
MENGSK. You're shittin' me-
KERRIGAN. -Guys, how 'bout that evac?
RAYNOR. I swear to God, I caught a rerun yesterday and it was totally him!
KERRIGAN. Seriously, boys, the base is crawling with zergling. . .
MENGSK. Did you look it up on imdb.com?
KERRIGAN. They're in the Command Center. . .
RAYNOR. No, but I could swear it was him.
KERRIGAN. They just decapitated an SCV worker and defecated in his skull!
MENGSK. I still say you're full of shit!
KERRIGAN. Aggghhh! (dead)
RAYNOR. I'm sorry, I didn't have my radio on. You say somethin', darlin'?
MENGSK. Probably nothing important.
RAYNOR. Women.

Raynor and Mengsk share a hardy laugh.

KERRIGAN. (inside the chrysalis) That’s it, you dicks are dead.
lol, he's definitly getting in the next parody map.

[NightElfking]

I have finished the map, but there is a problem with the upload. It won't load. So if anyone can tell me what may be wrong, that would be great.

[SolidSamurai]

D'you update #15?

As for the terran defense scenes, the first two movies should all involve protoss with nothing but goons and reavers. :P

Because GOD DAMN, I have yet to figure out how to fight that.

The 'aliens' scene can include zerg of course.

[NightElfking]

D'you update #15?

Yes I did.
Though that doesn't help me with the loading process.:(
Guys it's not loading on as an attachment. Anytime you wish to help would be appreciated.

[reverb102]

um... nightelfking,did you put your map as an attachment?

[NightElfking]

I found out why.

Apparently the attachments can only be up to 500 KB of data.
The Parody map is about 3.2 MB.
And something is not functioning with my profile at SC.org so I can't even submit it there. It says I must submit a valid file, but I am clearly submiting an SCX file.
My computer is a piece of shit even with Comcast High speed internet.

I will send it to you all via email if you provide with an email address for each person.

[reverb102]

did you "ziped" the file?... maybe it might work... maybe.

[Redhead267]

You could email me, my address is Red_head_267@Yahoo.com

[DarkMirror]

beastboy809@yahoo.ca

[Andvari]

yugifighter@hotmail.com

[JimRaynor56]

JimRaynor56@cox.net

[ClintonM]

ProEdit anyone?

It can reduce your map size SUBSTANTIALLY. (it literally reduces map size by half when no sounds are present).

Try that out, and maybe it'll help ya ^^.

[NightElfking]

I'll Consider it.
I'm sending the map to the people who have currently provided with an email address.

[NightElfking]

So did everyone get the map?

If so, have you viewed it yet?

[Zerg_eater]

OK take one ling, one marine, and one zealot. make the ling spawn and then spawn the marine, get the marine to kill the ling while saying"DIE ALIEN SCUM" and spawn a zealot, but they dont fight beecauuuuseee (respawn a ling here) the zerg says"zerggle zerglle click click"(weve been fighting for over ten years now!), and the marine says the little bugger is right!!! the nthe zealot says "I do not recall our battle, It saddens my soul :(" and then make it in green text STARCRAFT 2 announce, wait a few seconds....SERIOUSY and put this


MARINE:SON OF A ZERGLING
Zealot: EN TARO ADUN SUCKA
Ling:whimper whimper*runs away*
of course, if you have the mapping skills :D

[NightElfking]

Course I got mapping skills.

If I didn't, I wouldn't be making the map now would I?

[DarkMirror]

Could be better.
I am so making my own version.

And zergeaters is from a comic.

[CanadaAotS]

I'm sure this has been done to death, but I always laugh when I see it in a parody map...

Science Vessel: The monkies have escaped! (or w/e he says when you click alot on him heh.)

-Herd of zergling tagged as monkies, chasing the science vessel-

Or, Infested Kerrigan going out on a date with Raynor. Things go well, and they meet back up at Jim's place ... if you know what I mean.
You start playing the Kerrigan death noises (sounds very much like moaning lol), when suddenly Jim explodes and turns into an Infested Terran.

Jim: F*CK!

^_^

Another one... how 'bout that disabled bunker trick? You got all these cloaked bunkers with men in them...

Zealot walks up to one, not seeing it...

Marines inside is like:
Bob: Hey hal, watch this *snicker*
-play marine shooting sound-
Zealot: WTF?!?
-zealot runs around a bit, trying to figure out wth the gunshot came from-
Hal: Yah man that is pretty funny...
Hal: Wait... when did we get cloaked bunkers anyway? o_O AND I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE BUNKER! Shit guys!

Lol.

EDIT: Btw, the last one would be alot funnier if the bunker was invisible to the audience as well. So no share vis :)

[DarkMirror]

My ideas; make the map smaller. Use squar terrain to make edges between the movie sets. Put all the beacons in one area, with a unit showing who made it.

[NightElfking]

Well it was the first one.

The second one will be better. That I promise

I had a good idea for a parody. It's called "Jimmy's new girlfriend." It's when Kerrigan tries to come back on to him, but when she's about to, he sees Jimmy with a new girl. It's the ghost from the scrapped game "SC:Ghost".

[reverb102]

heres a good one
fenix leads an army of zealots and orders them to attack a zerg base but wen
the zealots run away screaming like girls while running away from a bunch of zerglings and fenix say "fight you cowards!"

[DarkMirror]

Not funny.

[fitofjoy]

Expanding on reverb102’s idea:

(A Terran army marches toward a Zerg encampment.)

SERGEANT. Ok men, it’s time to show these critters the real might of the Dominion Marine Corp.!
SOLDIER1. Sarge, what’s that purple stuff?
SERGEANT. That’s nothing, son! I want Firebats up front. We’re gonna roast those-
SOLDIER1. It’s just that it looks sticky, and we’ve got these big ole boots on. . .
SOLDIER2. Yeah, and I just painted this naked lady on my boot, and if I get it stuck in that muck-
SERGEANT. -Boy, you better be more worried about my foot getting stuck in your ass if you don’t get moving!

(SOLDIER1 taps his toe on the creep)

SOLDIER1. Eww, it’s totally sticky and it’s pulsatin’.
ALL SOLDIERS. Ewww.
SERGEANT. I didn’t realize that I was here to baby-sit you pretty lil’ girls. Is that what you are? Pretty little girls? ‘Cause if you are, you can get the hell off of my battlefield!

(Marines look at each other for a little bit.)

SOLDIER2. Yeah, ok.
SOLDIER1. Sounds good, I think the TVs back at the base are finally picky up Frasier reruns from Earth.
VARIOUS SOLDIERS. Wahoo! Yes, finally! (etc.)

(Marines start heading back.)

SERGEANT. Fine, you bunch of candy-asses! (on radio) This is Sergeant to base, Sergeant to base. I need black ops to nuke a Zerg encampment. . . Oh, and make sure you hide the remotes in the game room. . . Just trust me on that last order.

[reverb102]

Expanding on reverb102’s idea:

(A Terran army marches toward a Zerg encampment.)

SERGEANT. Ok men, it’s time to show these critters the real might of the Dominion Marine Corp.!
SOLDIER1. Sarge, what’s that purple stuff?
SERGEANT. That’s nothing, son! I want Firebats up front. We’re gonna roast those-
SOLDIER1. It’s just that it looks sticky, and we’ve got these big ole boots on. . .
SOLDIER2. Yeah, and I just painted this naked lady on my boot, and if I get it stuck in that muck-
SERGEANT. -Boy, you better be more worried about my foot getting stuck in your ass if you don’t get moving!

(SOLDIER1 taps his toe on the creep)

SOLDIER1. Eww, it’s totally sticky and it’s pulsatin’.
ALL SOLDIERS. Ewww.
SERGEANT. I didn’t realize that I was here to baby-sit you pretty lil’ girls. Is that what you are? Pretty little girls? ‘Cause if you are, you can get the hell off of my battlefield!

(Marines look at each other for a little bit.)

SOLDIER2. Yeah, ok.
SOLDIER1. Sounds good, I think the TVs back at the base are finally picky up Frasier reruns from Earth.
VARIOUS SOLDIERS. Wahoo! Yes, finally! (etc.)

(Marines start heading back.)

SERGEANT. Fine, you bunch of candy-asses! (on radio) This is Sergeant to base, Sergeant to base. I need black ops to nuke a Zerg encampment. . . Oh, and make sure you hide the remotes in the game room. . . Just trust me on that last order.
thats a better idea!

[Redhead267]

I got another one! Ok, when Fenix is killed in that one starcraft mission, instead of being fenix, it was just a decoy, and fenix comes back and it goes like this.
Decoy is killed
Raynor:NOOOO FENIX!!!
Kerrigan laughs
Real Fenix comes
Fenix:Hey guys, whats up?
Raynor:What!? I thought you were dead!
Fenix:No I just left to get a beer, you want one?
Raynor:Yes!!
Fenix:Ok Raynor I'll be right back.
Later, Fenix comes back, everything is destroyed.
Fenix:Where'd everyone go?
Raynor:Oh hey Fenix, Kerrigan got all moody again cause you didn't ask her if she wanted a beer, so she killed everyone.
Fenix:ahhh, Infested women, I guess we'll never understand them.
Raynor:Yeah seriously...Sweet, Budlight!

[Zerg_eater]

when are you gonna send me the map dude

I got another one! Ok, when Fenix is killed in that one starcraft mission, instead of being fenix, it was just a decoy, and fenix comes back and it goes like this.
Decoy is killed
Raynor:NOOOO FENIX!!!
Kerrigan laughs
Real Fenix comes
Fenix:Hey guys, whats up?
Raynor:What!? I thought you were dead!
Fenix:No I just left to get a beer, you want one?
Raynor:Yes!!
Fenix:Ok Raynor I'll be right back.
Later, Fenix comes back, everything is destroyed.
Fenix:Where'd everyone go?
Raynor:Oh hey Fenix, Kerrigan got all moody again cause you didn't ask her if she wanted a beer, so she killed everyone.
Fenix:ahhh, Infested women, I guess we'll never understand them.
Raynor:Yeah seriously...Sweet, Budlight!
lol!!!!!


EDIT: wtf? when I quoted him i didnt have a post, and hat wasnt there, that was supposed to be in an edit! can someone merge it?

[NightElfking]

My ideas; make the map smaller. Use squar terrain to make edges between the movie sets. Put all the beacons in one area, with a unit showing who made it.
I'm assuming your making the next parody map?

[DarkMirror]

I may as well, want to help?

[NightElfking]

Might as well.

Here's one I have thought of but im not sure if its funny so I'll let you guys decide. I posted this one eariler but decided to go into more detail this time:

KErrigan gets lonely and decides to go back on to Jim Ranyor. But as she's about to see him, she sees him with the ghost from SC: Ghost. Then she goes up to him and she says "Hey I thought I was your girl?" Then Nova gets up and says "You were his girl?" And jimmy just is like "Alright! Catfight!"
Then leave and contiune it later.
The second part, the girls decide to do Mortal Kombat (don't ask) to see who gets Jimmy. I have all the sounds you'll need for this. Make Nova win a round and then Kerrigan win a round. And then for a bonus for the people, make them have a "Choose your Destiney" where the player decides who wins. For Nova, she uses her powerful Psi powers and Splatters Kerrigans brain everywhere. And for Kerrigan, she summons her entire Zerg brood and slaughters her. Then I'll let you decide what happens after for both characters.
I have all the sounds for this that you'll need.

And another one I have is "Why Ghost never got released." It takes place at Blizzard and an employee asks why is Nova late for work. So they go check on her and they see her having sex with (insert Male Character here. I cant decide) and one of them runs screaming back saying, "that's it! We're canceling Ghost." The other guy is just staring in the window.

Another one is "Even Zerg get distracted" Some zerg are ravaging a town and they see two people having sex in a window. And for some odd reason, they just stare (like they are human perverts) and Daggoth starts bitching at them till he peeks in. O_o

And the final one I'll submit is called "Adavantages of being a DT" You see a DT sneak in a girl's locker room.

Wow now my brain hurts

[reverb102]

hey,how bout this:
some infested terrans conplian for not liking their attacks (since they blow themselves up to attack) then they blame the overmind and the infested terrans (the normal one,not like kerrigan or infested duran) go on strike...

[PaiN]

right.

[fitofjoy]

(Infested Terrans PHIL and DAN are walking towards a Terran outpost.)

DAN. Hey Phil, check this out. I’ve got this tentacle wrapped around my gun. It’s got a blade sticking out.
PHIL. Terrific.
DAN. I was thinking that I could use it to cut off someone’s head or something.
PHIL. You do know what we’re going to do, right?
DAN. Yeah, we’re going to raise hell at that Dominion outpost. . . right?
PHIL. Yes, and do you know how?
DAN. Well, I’ve got this blade-
PHIL. We’re going to blow ourselves up.

(awkward silence)

DAN. Um, what?
PHIL. We’re going to charge, then blow ourselves up.
DAN. When the hell was I consulted about this plan?
PHIL. Dan-
DAN. I mean, come on! That’s ridiculous! I love the Overmind as much as the next Zerg-
PHIL. Well, we have to blow up.
DAN. But I’ve got an infested wife back home! She just had larva!
PHIL. Well, she’ll probably have to blow herself up eventually.
DAN. And that’s going to make me feel better?
PHIL. I don’t have time for your whining. There’s a group of SCV workers taking a smoke break right next to the Command Center, and I really want to blow them up.
DAN. Hey look, one of them gave us the finger.
PHIL. Sons of bitches!
DAN. ARRRRGH!

(DAN rushes in, blows himself up.)

PHIL. On second thought, maybe Dan had a point.

(PHIL backs away, whistling.)

[NightElfking]

lol, funny shit.

[Kawagata]

you know that level where you have to kill fenix and duke? killing fenix is easily done by broodling him. Have people cry about it and then fenix comes in assuring he's fine as a broodling. They go out for a beer.

[NightElfking]

Okay.

[Dark_hunter4]

Goodie!! My idea is still up for grabs, and also I found This (www.sendspace.com) it helps alot.. i guess.
Here is my idea:
Overmind: Ah yes.. thats evil! MUHAHAH----
Daggoth: Master, there is an angry swarm of zerglings at the door.
Overmind: What? who dares to defy my command?
*knocking*
Overmind: ENTER AT YOUR OWN FREE WILL!!
*zerglings come in, about 20 or so*
Overmind: What are you doing here?
Daggoth: Told ya..
Overmind: Shut up.
Daggoth: No.
Overmind: Alright, your dead after I deal with these.. things..
Daggoth: Whats the matter? Don't know what to call your own creations?
Overmind: I CREATED YOU BITCH!!!
Daggoth: Oh yea.. good point..
*daggoth leaves*
Overmind: Now, what do you want?
Zergling: We are tired of being Zealot food.
Overmind: Too bad, thats what you were made for.
Zergling: Well you suck.
Overmind: Ha, don't make me get the Ultralisks in here.
*ultralisk taps Overmind on shoulder*
Ultralisk: Sorry bro, your screwed on this one.
Overmind: WHAT!!!???
Ultralisk: Like we are going to fight them? They draw the fire of the siege tanks.
Overmind: Damnit.
Ultralisk: Besides man, we are going on vacation to auir.
Overmind:...
Zerglings: Now about that too bad...
Overmind: Ah hell.

[NightElfking]

Hooray! My first thread to get 100 posts. WOOT!

[Redhead267]

Did you ever consider putting these maps on Starcraft.org so more people could see it? Just a thought, I think a lot of people would like it. Oh, and dont forget to leave credit.

[BludSyko]

Ok, I got some...

So, Raynor and Kerrigan are talking. Raynor is about to confess his feelings for Kerri...

Raynor: Hey, there's something I want to tell you.
Kerrigan: Yes?
Raynor: Man, this is hard to say.
Kerrigan: Just say it...
Raynor: I wanted to say... I lov... *Medic walks in* Damn baby, you fine! Hey what's your sign? *Medic keeps walking* Hey, c'mon babe, lemme get your number *Follows Medic*
Kerrigan: Uch, You pig!

-----

A coupla marines are standing guard outside a base. The mighty Torrasque charges the marines.

Marine: Daaamn!! Fat ass incoming!
Torrasque: I'm NOT fat!! I'm just big boned!
Marines: ???
Torrasque: Just because I'm a Zerg, doesn't mean I don't have feelings! *wimpers*
Marine: Oh, I'm sorry, I was being insensitive. I really didn't mean to... *Torrasque slaughters marines*
Torrasque: Heh Heh Heh, Long live the Mighty Torrasque! *Walks away*

-------

Two young marines are speeding down the highway.

Marine 1: *Looks at a box of donuts in the passenger's lap* Hey, can you hand me a donut?
Marine 2: No dude, these are mine.
Marine 1: Fine then I'll take one *Reaches over to grab one*
Marine 2: No, they're MINE! *They begin fighting, car swerves, police siren blares*
Marine 1: Dammit, now look what you did! *Pulls over*
Marine 2: Me? It was you who wouldn't keep his eyes on the road!!
Marine 1: Just shut up. *Cop walks up to the car*
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Marine 2: *Looks at the donuts* You smelled the donuts?
Marine 1: Dude! Shut up!!
Cop: Watch your mouth. I pulled you over because you were driving irratically.
Marine 1: Sorry, Officer, I was just reaching over to get a donut and lost control for a second.
Cop: Well, since I've been having a good day, I'm gonna let you off with a warning.
Marine 1: Thank you, Officer. *Cop walks away*
Marine 2: Does that mean I can keep the weed?
Marine 1: DUDE!! *Cop walks back*
Cop: What was that???
Marine 1: Shit, let's get out of here!! *Speeds away, cop gets in car and chases them*

--------

Marines storm into a den on Char...
Marine Leader: I hear movement in this den. Ok, we charge in and light this baby up. You got that soldiers?
Marines: Yes, sir!
Marine Leader:Alright. 1... 2... 3... GO! *Marines charge (stim if possible)*
Marines: DIE YOU UGLY ZERG MOTHERF***ERS *Start shooting randomly (observers as targets?)*
Civilian: Hello! Welcome to Wal-Mart!
Marine Leader: What the...
Marine: Wow... they really do have Wal-Marts everywhere.

[Ktan]

The Torrasque one is totally awesome.

The others are alright too. Nice one :)

[NightElfking]

If anyone never got the old parody map, I uploaded it on filefront so you can download it there.

This is the link:
http://files.filefront.com/StarCraft+Parodies1scx/;8616601;/fileinfo.html

[Basan]

Thread necro's (http://www.warboards.org/faq.php?faq=faq_rules#faq_faq_rules_threadreviving ) is bad... bad, I tell you!

http://up.kupatrix.com/f/9/My%20Documents/Mod%27%20Usage%20-%20Bleh.jpg