View Full Version : Ask Zelt!
Zeltaris
05-12-2007, 7:05 PM
Hey kids, new game!
In this game, you ask questions and your favourite manwhore answers them!
--The Rules--
-You may only ask one question per cycle. That is, you may not ask a question before having an answer to a previous question
-Cycles are determined by the phases of the moon, the duration of AA batteries when used nonstop on a dildo, the lenght of a standard invasion of france... but ultimately by how often I go online :)
-You may not ask questions pertaining to kebab
-You may not ask questions pertaining to bullterriers, unless they somehow involve Chuck Norris.
-Try to be creative. I reserve the right to refuse answers to idiotic questions like "how many fingers do you see?"
--The Mechanics--
You will post asking a question. I will at some point make a post summing up answers to all questions in a cycle.
The type of answer you get will be at random.
You may get...
-...A true and easily verifiable answer, to the extent my knowledge allows me.
-...A completely idiotic and random answer.
-...A cultural reference disguised as a random answer [These ones have juicy surprises!*]
-...eaten by Cthulhu. It's game over for you, betch.
*Catching a reference may be rewarded with free sexing, death by decapitation or, in rare cases, +rep.
Well, now that it's all set, ask away!
<3
~Zelt
own3d0406
05-12-2007, 7:18 PM
Why do I not understand this thread?
Icarus
05-12-2007, 7:52 PM
Why will I never understand modding?
Markpyro
05-12-2007, 8:54 PM
Lesbian pancakes?
King_Critter
05-12-2007, 9:18 PM
What the hell is a Cthulhu?
U-238
05-12-2007, 10:23 PM
why do I seem to get on better with the 20-25 y/o women then I do with the ones that are my age? (16/17)
SuiCidAl-KiSmEt
05-12-2007, 10:47 PM
Why do I enjoy frightening nightmares?
Yeah, I changed my question.
Zeltaris
05-13-2007, 12:43 AM
Q: Why do I not understand this thread?
A: You've gotten used to the slew of "games" in this forum that just repeat the same premise with very slight changes (i.e, Person Below me and Fact or Opinion). And your feet smell bad >.>
Q: Why will I never understand modding?
A: Your brain is saturated with knowledge about fapping.
Q: Lesbian pancakes?
Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet & Watch
Q: What the hell is a Cthulhu?
Chtulhu is a fictional extraterrestrial entity that is referenced several times in the Works of H.P Lovecraft. His only direct appearance is in the short story "The Call of Cthulhu"
Q: Why do I seem to get on better with the 20-25 y/o women then I do with the ones that are my age? (16/17)
A: Older women are more mature, and therefore more likely to accept the fact that your penis is too small to do anything except maybe push that reset button on the back of your PSP.
Q: Why do I enjoy frightening nightmares?
Yeah, I changed my question.
A: I honestly have no fucking clue how you can frighten a nightmare. However, I infer you take sadistic pleasure in doing so.
Take a hint, young children are 2x more satisfying. Bonus points if you make them cry
kongurous
05-13-2007, 12:45 AM
Why are you called General Mexican?
Icarus
05-13-2007, 12:46 AM
Why does it hurt when I pee?
OboeGuru
05-13-2007, 1:02 AM
Why did daddy hit mommy?
What are theses bumps on my Penis?
SuiCidAl-KiSmEt
05-13-2007, 3:37 PM
Zelt > Answers.Yahoo!?
Why does zelt get the preconception that my penis is small?
it's actually on the higher end of the "big" scale :p
King_Critter
05-13-2007, 5:15 PM
Why is this the most sexually explicit thread I've ever seen on WarBoards? And why do I get the feeling that it's your fault?
Zeltaris
05-13-2007, 6:18 PM
Q: Why are you called General Mexican?
A: I eat babies. Happy?
Q:Why does it hurt when I pee?
A: Gonorrhea ftw.
Q: Why did daddy hit mommy?
Probably because of something you did.
Q: What are theses bumps on my Penis?
They're called testicles. If you squeeze them hard enough, you'll discover a fountain of joy and clemen.
Q: Zelt > Answers.Yahoo!?
Hey guess what. Your gran was run over by a tank.
Q: Why does zelt get the preconception that my penis is small?
it's actually on the higher end of the "big" scale :p
A: Every time you use invisible text, fairies come and bite a chunk out of it. Result = Shrinkage :)
BTW, a 10 cm ruler is not an accurate scale for "big".
Q: Why is this the most sexually explicit thread I've ever seen on WarBoards? And why do I get the feeling that it's your fault?
A: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard >_>
SuiCidAl-KiSmEt
05-13-2007, 6:24 PM
Happy Mothers Day Grany ;(
Icarus
05-13-2007, 6:37 PM
Why are people so stupid?
own3d0406
05-13-2007, 6:54 PM
Q: Why do I seem to get on better with the 20-25 y/o women then I do with the ones that are my age? (16/17)
A: Older women are more mature, and therefore more likely to accept the fact that your penis is too small to do anything except maybe push that reset button on the back of your PSP.
Why can't I stop laughing at this? And why can't I give you double rep for this?
what have I ever done to make zelt be so mad at U-238? ;(
IrishDutchman
05-14-2007, 9:56 AM
Why is Zelt's thread mainly about penises (sp)?
King_Critter
05-14-2007, 11:55 PM
If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
supercalifragalisticexpialidocus?
Atillawurm
05-15-2007, 1:37 PM
Why cant I see the back of my Head?
Zeltaris
05-15-2007, 4:21 PM
Q: Why are people so stupid?
A: There is a fixed amount of intelligence "po1ntz" that are distributed among the entire human race. Estimations for the total of these "p0intz" range between 500,200,000,000 and 500,500,000,000.
As a result of current overpopulation, the mean IQ should fall in a range between 83 and 100, meaning the entire human race is comprised of asstards. However, "p0intz" are not distributed equally among the populace [e.g; Marilyn vos Savant, that greedy whore], favouring an elite few while keeping the masses in a state of slobbering idiocy.
An alternative explanation would be inbreed.
Oh momma, yo' the best cousin and wife one could ever have...
Q: Why can't I stop laughing at this? And why can't I give you double rep for this?
A : Why can't anybody love me? Why won't the voices go away? Why did Sahnjeea get booted off American Idol? Why can't I spell her name correctly?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
:shiftyl: You did not read this...
Q: What have I ever done to make zelt be so mad at U-238? ;(
A: You have to understand Zelt is not mad at you. Zelt loves you all like a pimp loves his hoes.
Q: Why is Zelt's thread mainly about penises (sp)?
A: U sed the p-word lol. But seriously, you can attribute it to the unhealthy obsession teenagers have with the size of their wangs. Bitches don't know that the entire sensitive portion of female genitalia is in the first 4 centimetres...
Q: If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
A: Ftang
Q: supercalifragalisticexpialidocus?
A: Cholecystectomy
Q: Why cant I see the back of my Head?
You need to use two mirrors, fool. If you still can't see it, you might be a vampire. Or blind. Or both.
Ghelgath
05-15-2007, 5:19 PM
Is it just me or does humanity have a fraction of intelligence?
When you multiply the number of people, the intelligence level goes down.
Atillawurm
05-16-2007, 10:19 AM
Why didn't General Lee say "LOL fucking Noobz piss off!!!!111" instead of surrendering to General Grant?
SeriousGamer104
05-16-2007, 12:22 PM
Where do baby orcs come from?
Why did the doctor slap my mom when i was first born?
Icarus
05-16-2007, 5:09 PM
why am I your ho?
Zeltaris
05-16-2007, 5:55 PM
Q: Is it just me or does humanity have a fraction of intelligence?
A: Uh yeah. The numbers are meant to work out so that when you divide total intelligence by total population, your quotient is less than 100, explaining why people are stupid.
Q: Why didn't General Lee say "LOL fucking Noobz piss off!!!!111" instead of surrendering to General Grant?
A: Lol wut? +rep
Q: Where do baby orcs come from?
A: Your mum
Q: Why did the doctor slap my mom when i was first born?
A: For taking a dump on the delivery table. Took him a while to realise it was you >_>
Stupid doctor...
Q: why am I your ho?
A: Well, you weren't at first. Yo used ta be an unda'covah agent from da eff-bee-aye infultraytin' ma netwuk o' drugz n shit.
Too bad you got hooked on meth and ended up selling your body for ca$h.
Ghelgath
05-16-2007, 6:42 PM
How come it takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway?
King_Critter
05-16-2007, 8:58 PM
What's with your jihad against Kebabs?
Protogod
05-16-2007, 9:02 PM
Why havent you gotten laid?
BlackHawk
05-16-2007, 11:16 PM
Why are some people such douchebags?
Will i ever find True Love :'(
why isn't Hillary Clinton in a mental asylum?
Atillawurm
05-17-2007, 9:51 AM
Why does my knee wistle when I lift my left middle finger and move it in a figure eight pattern the hard way (two fours)?
Blacker
05-17-2007, 9:58 AM
Have you better idead for game :P
Zeltaris
05-17-2007, 1:01 PM
Q: How come it takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway?
A: Entropy. Duh.
Q: What's with your jihad against Kebabs?
A: Simple, I'm tired of Zenox and Fratt making repeated spam about kebab. Seriously, at some point you'll find page after page of "The person below me likes kebab / true / the person below me likes sexy kebab/ true / the person below me wants to be sodomised with a kebab / SO TRUE" :confused:
Q: Why havent you gotten laid?
Because you keep rejecting my luvin'.
And honestly, you're not worth the begging, babe...
Q: Why are some people such douchebags?
Empty lives, low self-esteems... maybe Uncle Lenny touched them a lot when they were young...
Q: Will i ever find True Love :'(
A: Someday, maybe someday you'll meet that special person you would die for, that one special being who can make you touch the clouds... then she'll leave you for another woman. Then you'll find out true love doesn't exist. Get real, betch :P
Q: why isn't Hillary Clinton in a mental asylum?
A: B3coz she's t00 XTREM KRAZIE for t3h oth4rr pashienz
Q: Why does my knee wistle when I lift my left middle finger and move it in a figure eight pattern the hard way (two fours)?
A: There you have it guys! The proof as to why masturbating 8 times a day is bad for you...
Q: Have you better idead for game :P
A: Lol billy kill the dinosaur. Excellent game :)
Why is it that Meat is better than Vegetables?
own3d0406
05-17-2007, 4:11 PM
HOW THE HELL HAS THIS EXCEEDED 5 PAGES?
:banana: banana
TheDriver
05-17-2007, 4:41 PM
Why the heck is thread the best thing i've ever seen?
Zeltaris
05-17-2007, 4:53 PM
All is better when japanified
Q: Why that takes hundreds thing nuts in order to grasp the car together but just is those one taken because it makes that disperse the highway without the く ま?
A: Entropy. Duh.
Q: Your jihad is there something vis-a-vis Kebabs?
A: Simplicity, I am tired concerning kebab in Zenox and Fratt which make スパム which was repeated. After thinking that "the page of the person under me adjusts kebab true/human same type sexy kebab/ under kebab/ true/human me of the same type under me sodomised/ so" would like to be, seriously, the page is found once upon a time
Q: Why havent it is put, it is obtained?
A: Being ' to continue to refuse my luvin. And honestly, lovely the person of the thing which is asked... there is no value
Q: The people of some person why it is that kind of douchebags?
A:The life of the low sky it was young... the time... in those which perhaps the large quantity touch the Lenny uncle oneself you respect
Q: As for truth love of discovery of will I: ' (
As for A: ... Then whether she leaves for the alone woman already, or with you the special human thing some day which dies for the sake of, perhaps some day, she is possible to make that 1 special cloud be exposed, someone being it meets. Then truth love it does not exist, you find. Betch in substance become
Q: ヒラリー why there is no Clinton of the mental hospital?
A: B3coz she is t00 XTREM for pashienz of t3h oth4rr KRAZIE
Q: When as for wistle of my knee why I raise the middle finger on my left, the figure eight imitate hard method (two fours) moving?
A: That is a person there! 8 times masturbating is bad... why regards your because of day, evidence
Q: Idead for game A is made to improve: Murder dinosaur of the club of Lol. Excellent game
Icarus
05-17-2007, 5:45 PM
Why do you always give the impression of BEING ON CRACK!!!???
Why do you always give the impression of BEING ON CRACK!!!???
Because he is (on somethin' a lil' more pacific and weedy than that)!?!
And whatever gave you that impression? :rolleyes:
Now for my real question...
Why the latest fling for Itialian? Just to piss me off? Read, in MSG'er. :P
Ghelgath
05-18-2007, 8:09 AM
All is better when japanified
What part of that said Italian to you? ;)
Question: What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask?
Atillawurm
05-18-2007, 10:25 AM
Why do I continuously find myself in a haze when I ask you questions?
Zeltaris
05-18-2007, 1:45 PM
Q: Why is it that Meat is better than Vegetables?
More midiclorians.
Q: HOW THE HELL HAS THIS EXCEEDED 5 PAGES?
A: Well... see, when a Zelt and a spammer love each other very much... holy cow:banana: banana
Q: Why the heck is thread the best thing i've ever seen?
A: It was made by me. *huge ego* :P
Q: Why do you always give the impression of BEING ON CRACK!!!???
A: It's that creepy blonde... she keeps telling me to do stuff >.<
Q:Because he is (on somethin' a lil' more pacific and weedy than that)!?!
And whatever gave you that impression? :rolleyes:
A: Hey wtf! I'm the one answering questions here. GTFO, you ho! :D
Q: Why the latest fling for Itialian? Just to piss me off? Read, in MSG'er. :P
A: Not really. I find Italian to be a pretty fascinating language. If I wanted to piss you off i'd just keep insisting that you're a drug dealer
Q: What part of that said Italian to you? ;)
La tua madre...
Q: Question: What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask?
A: Would you marry me? I'd hate to break your heart...
Q: Why do I continuously find myself in a haze when I ask you
questions?
A: It's your brain trying to repress your unconscious urge to ask me to spank you.
If I wanted to piss you off i'd just keep insisting that you're a drug dealer
Did I just gave ya an OD for you to say so? :smirk: Until then or 'till you blatantly prove that I've sold any kind of drug, you're lying. :P
TheDriver
05-18-2007, 2:41 PM
Why do i love this (http://http://www.veoh.com/videos/v2226506QqRMttZ) show so much?
Why did the chicken cross the busy highway?
Icarus
05-18-2007, 4:38 PM
will you marry me?
own3d0406
05-18-2007, 5:14 PM
What is the answer to: 6logx-2 - 13.234log2x-4 ?
Why am I having the sudden urge to spank 'someone'? :P
King_Critter
05-19-2007, 2:14 PM
Why do I still have dial-up?
Atillawurm
05-22-2007, 12:31 PM
why do I continuausly speak to myself when I am doing dirty things in a mud hole with a gaged and bound hand carved stick?
PrestonBurke
05-22-2007, 9:39 PM
Why are there rumors of you leaving us Zelt?
Zeltaris
05-22-2007, 9:56 PM
Did I just gave ya an OD for you to say so? :smirk: Until then or 'till you blatantly prove that I've sold any kind of drug, you're lying. :P
I've seen you stalking parks and following kids into deserted alleys. Don't deny it ;)
Why do i love this (http://http://www.veoh.com/videos/v2226506QqRMttZ) show so much?
It's perfectly normal and healthy to love domain squatter search engines, luv... NOT!
Why did the chicken cross the busy highway?
Ah, but the true question is... why did Zenox cross the busy highway? The answer is: Because his dick was stuck in the chicken... Get those bumps checked!
will you marry me?
Yes, although you'll have to share me with Seal, Tenebrae and Darmago :shiftyr:
What is the answer to: 6logx-2 - 13.234log2x-4 ?
A number.
Why am I having the sudden urge to spank 'someone'? :P
You've been having too many 'private' parties lately... you know what I mean you sick thing ;)
Why do I still have dial-up?
So you can post about it and get +rep out of pity....*ahem*... empathy :)
why do I continuausly speak to myself when I am doing dirty things in a mud hole with a gaged and bound hand carved stick?
Because you continuously forget to shove the stick in your mouth and stfu. :)
Now get back to mudwrestling, I'm paying you per hour!
Why are there rumors of you leaving us Zelt?
Because I am. I have 4k posts now, so it's time to cut back on the spam <3
So I'll be paying the Game Room occasional visits, but no more. Oh and xtra drama :)
TheDriver
05-22-2007, 10:08 PM
What came first? The pen or the paper?
I've seen you stalking parks and following kids into deserted alleys. Don't deny it ;)
If by "kids" you mean 18 n' older gals that alluded me to it then you've got it right on! :D
You've been having too many 'private' parties lately... you know what I mean you sick thing ;)
In dark alleys? Maybe so... :smirk:
And why this didn't sound awkward at all for me? :rolleyes:
Icarus
05-24-2007, 12:34 AM
Why are you deserting us, zelt? was I not wearing the right perfume?
Jimmy_the_saint
05-24-2007, 1:14 AM
Why Does Zelt chastise all that everyone says?
PrestonBurke
05-24-2007, 1:38 AM
why am I your ho?
Who isn't Zelt's ho?
Why was Penny on the other side of the screen when Charlie disabled the jammer in the underwater station? Why did Charlie sacrificed himself even though he could have escaped because the hatch looked like it could be closed from two sides? Why must the cute blonde have died?
Dick inside the chicken whaaa? :o
Why is animal sex disgusting while you can watch humans do it for hours?
Atillawurm
05-24-2007, 1:47 PM
Why do people speak to me even though they know I will Verbaly abuse them, climb up a tree, drop my trousers, crap, then throw it at them like a howler monkey, before I drop down on them from above miss land next to them, pick up a stick then repetadly smack their ass with it?
bobboy
05-24-2007, 10:25 PM
What does Que mean in spanish?
Don't say anything if you get what im saying
Zeltaris
05-24-2007, 10:43 PM
Q: What came first? The pen or the paper?
Alcohol and frenzied sex. Paper was a byproduct of those two.
Q: And why this didn't sound awkward at all for me? :rolleyes:
A:http://up.kupatrix.com/f/84/peru.jpg
Trust me, after being exposed to that bloke, NOTHING is awkward...
Q: Why are you deserting us, zelt? was I not wearing the right perfume?
A: You know, if the game room gets nuked again, I don't want to lose half my postcount >_>
So i'm breaking the habit.
But yeah, the perfume was kinda.. wrong
Q: Why Does Zelt chastise all that everyone says?
A: The massive doors open and a gurgling sound comes from the depths. In a matter of seconds a green mass or mountain rises. It is Dead Cthulhu, who lives once more. He takes you with his claws and eats you. GG noob ;)
Q: Who isn't Zelt's ho?
A: AJ...
Q: Why was Penny on the other side of the screen when Charlie disabled the jammer in the underwater station?
Thanks for the spoilers, betch...
Dick inside the chicken whaaa? :o
A: No, dick inside the chicken's arse. While both sound relatively alike, you really need to get it right...
Q: Why is animal sex disgusting while you can watch humans do it for hours?
A: No you can't. It's called voyeurism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyeurism)for a reason, perv...
Q: Why do people speak to me even though they know I will Verbaly abuse them, climb up a tree, drop my trousers, crap, then throw it at them like a howler monkey, before I drop down on them from above miss land next to them, pick up a stick then repetadly smack their ass with it?
A: Because it's fun to see how your eyes glaze over as you start enacting your hallucinatory fantasies. Oh and that stick you grabbed... it actually was GA's peen. Have fun with that.
Q: What does Que mean in spanish?
Don't say anything if you get what im saying
A: De hecho la pregunta correcta sería "Qué significa What en inglés?"
Y por cierto, me comí tus galletas y violé a tu gatito. Owned :)
bobboy
05-25-2007, 11:32 AM
Dammit lol.
Why don't people advertise cotton candy as made from cyanide and happiness?
(Hey, it worked on the webcomic)
Why isn't there a Drug that makes people smart(er)?
Q: And why this didn't sound awkward at all for me? :rolleyes:
A:http://up.kupatrix.com/f/84/peru.jpg
Trust me, after being exposed to that bloke, NOTHING is awkward...
Only from Mexican 'paradise' such a bendejo could come up. Ixnay on the hair gel, dude! :P
Is that kind of guy common over there (at least in the music bizz' branch)?
Had a lingering feeling that it is.
Q: Who isn't Zelt's ho?
A: AJ...
I just liked you to say that in front of... *Ponders it better*
Why don't you try telling it to Schwitty? :smirk:
Q: What does Que mean in spanish?
Don't say anything if you get what im saying
A: De hecho la pregunta correcta sería "Qué significa What en inglés?"
Y por cierto, me comí tus galletas y violé a tu gatito. Owned :)
It means the exact same in Portuguese. ;)
And no, you hadn't found neither my cookies nor the kitten.
And when you're not acting loony what the hell are ya doin'?
PrestonBurke
05-25-2007, 8:42 PM
When should i assassinate Neo to proclaim myself as the new dictator of the Diablo 2 forums?
Mattimeeleo
05-25-2007, 11:50 PM
What race, gender, species, origin are you?
Zeltaris
05-27-2007, 2:03 PM
Q: Why don't people advertise cotton candy as made from cyanide and happiness?
A: Blame it on the FDA. Greedy bastards...
Q: Why isn't there a Drug that makes people smart(er)?
A: It is delicious cake! I must eat it.
So... err.. no.
Q: Only from Mexican 'paradise' such a bendejo could come up. Ixnay on the hair gel, dude! :P
Is that kind of guy common over there (at least in the music bizz' branch)?
A: Actually, this chacalon guy hails from perú. Stop blaming everything that's fucked up in Latinamerica on Mexico. Really, most of the time it comes from Peru or Argentina.
As a side note, the caption under the large, rainbow-coloured letters translates to english as "The people's Angel". You got it right, it's Black.Ice :P
Q: And when you're not acting loony what the hell are ya doin'?
A: I enjoy reading books and long walks on the beach :)
Q: When should i assassinate Neo to proclaim myself as the new dictator of the Diablo 2 forums?
A: You know as well as I that it's not going to happen ;) The moment you kill Neo, GA will swoop into power and brand you a traitor to the motherland. Tool.
Q: What race, gender, species, origin are you?
A: Protoss, male, Protoss (lol redundancy), Khyrador.
Uh... sure, Zelt, whatever you say...>_>
Why can't i get a Chupakabra as a pet?
PrestonBurke
05-27-2007, 6:26 PM
Assuming that GA will attempt to rise to power after i assassinate Neo, and he is obviously to powerful to kill even for a person with crazy skills like me, what weaker moderator should i remove to get myself up this leadership chain?
Zelt if we met, and I were to give you a blowjob, would you pay me or hug me?
TheDriver
05-28-2007, 3:59 PM
If i gave you Elizabeth's Mitchells panties how much would you give me?
I know a guy who knows a guy :P
bobboy
05-29-2007, 10:31 AM
Why is there no such thing as half way crook? mobb deep reference ?????
Zeltaris
05-29-2007, 5:58 PM
Dear Zelt,
Why do the kids in your thread fail so badly at hiding text?
Yours truly,
F*ck'n confused~
PrestonBurke
05-29-2007, 9:37 PM
Dear Penthouse,
Tonight was the best night ever! After i assassinated Valdimir Putin, i was pouring myself a glass of scotch from his little bar when - non other- his mistress came in. Must i say *ahem*, Russian women can be very frisky in bed, because shortly after, she shot me with a stun gun and called security.
So now, i am sitting in a cold Russian jail cell typing this out on my high tech electronic computer rolex, pondering if i should assassinate Zelt or not.
Sincerely,
The worlds former and future Dictator, TheAzn.
Magmaniac
05-29-2007, 9:38 PM
Zelt:
Sup?
Jimmy_the_saint
05-30-2007, 2:20 AM
Zelt Why do you Insult or turn all of our questions in to something sexual?
Atillawurm
05-30-2007, 1:33 PM
Why doe midgets always talk to me when I wistle "Green Sleeves" while walking down the street in a glass tank filled with a suphirc acid and water mixed, in my tiedye shirt and cutoff sweat pant trousers?
Zerg_eater
06-03-2007, 12:28 AM
why??
Kazansky
06-04-2007, 9:59 AM
Why do I like wearing this red uniform all the time when I know it's like asking the enemy to SHOOT ME IN THE ASS??
Icarus
06-04-2007, 11:31 AM
why can't people understand that the road is mine and mine alone?
PrestonBurke
06-04-2007, 5:31 PM
Where all the good people go? I've been changing channels and i don't see them on the TV shows. So where did all the good people go? We got heaps and heaps of what we sow.
Zeltaris
06-04-2007, 11:09 PM
Q: Why can't i get a Chupakabra as a pet?
A: Because the chupacabras doesn't exist. It was a media ploy intended to divert the masses' attention from the devaluation and economic crisis that struck mexico in 1995.
Q: Assuming that GA will attempt to rise to power after i assassinate Neo, and he is obviously to powerful to kill even for a person with crazy skills like me, what weaker moderator should i remove to get myself up this leadership chain?
A: Uncle f00tysoozles is your man.
Q:Zelt if we met, and I were to give you a blowjob, would you pay me or hug me?
A: Hug :3
Q: If i gave you Elizabeth's Mitchells panties how much would you give me?
I know a guy who knows a guy :P
A: And this guy is a crossdresser who kinda looks like elizabeth mitchell, right?
I think i'll pass on this one >_>
Q: Why is there no such thing as half way crook? mobb deep reference ?????
A: :o:shiftyl: it only hurts at first, I swear...
Q: Dear Zelt,
Why do the kids in your thread fail so badly at hiding text?
Yours truly,
F*ck'n confused~
A: BUNSTICKS. Also, from your post I deduct you are very sexy. Wanna have sex?
Q: Dear Penthouse,
... blah blah blah pointless jibber in a pitiful attempt to distract people from the cow lodged up my arse...l typing this out on my high tech electronic computer rolex, pondering if i should assassinate Zelt or not.
Sincerely,
Ho, TheAzn.
A: You can try. Don't hold us responsible, however, when you get landed back in another prison cell, this time in western Romania, with a queer gypsie named Boner and a box full of assorted whips and gags.
Q:Zelt:
Sup?
A: Yo. Peace.
Q: Zelt Why do you Insult or turn all of our questions in to something sexual?
A: http://up.kupatrix.com/f//84/tenebrae.gif
Does this look sexual to you?¡
Sheez...
Q: Why doe midgets always talk to me when I wistle "Green Sleeves" while walking down the street in a glass tank filled with a suphirc acid and water mixed, in my tiedye shirt and cutoff sweat pant trousers?
1.- Spel. Do. Auxiliary verb.
2.- Spel. whistle
3.- Spel. Sulphuric
4.- Midgetz = HARDK0R3 P0RN
Q: why??
A: being deceived into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl, being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller, being transformed into an intergalactic walrus that perished after falling out of a flying saucer, and recalling life as a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago. Yeah...:shiftyr:
Q:Why do I like wearing this red uniform all the time when I know it's like asking the enemy to SHOOT ME IN THE ASS??
A: It's fashionable and it hides those nasty rolls under your buns. Quit whining.
Q:why can't people understand that the road is mine and mine alone??
A: Ridin the whip BITCH!
Q: Where all the good people go? I've been changing channels and i don't see them on the TV shows. So where did all the good people go? We got heaps and heaps of what we sow.
A: Alternatively, press this button for an instant shock!
Warning, it may cause your penis to become sentient.
Magmaniac
06-05-2007, 12:10 AM
Where have all the flowers gone?
Why is the color RED so RED?
PrestonBurke
06-05-2007, 12:39 AM
Are we going to have another Cold War with Russia?
Why isn't there a new map yet?
Jimmy_the_saint
06-05-2007, 2:22 AM
Why was the answer to my question a man with a horses head. and also am i a bad lover?
Kazansky
06-05-2007, 2:27 AM
Would you like me to draw the old cast from the WBL2 comics?
What would happen if me and Frattimonde got married and photographed our honeymoon and posted it in creative concepts?
Icarus
06-05-2007, 3:04 PM
will koreans ever be dethroned of their starcraft supremacy? if so, how?
Magmaniac
06-05-2007, 3:09 PM
Chocolate or leprechaun?
Zeltaris
06-05-2007, 3:55 PM
Q: Where have all the flowers gone?
A:http://up.kupatrix.com/f/84/flowarz.jpg
Beetch stoled them.
Q: Why is the color RED so RED?
If it were less red, it would be pink, which is ghey
Q: Are we going to have another Cold War with Russia?
A: No, and what is it with this russian obsession of yours? Are you kazanzky's boy bitch or something?
Cos... let me remind you that you're my eternal ho, and trust me, the gasmask freak will NEVER love you like big daddy zelt :P
<3
Why isn't there a new map yet?
A: Refer to question 1.
Why was the answer to my question a man with a horses head. and also am i a bad lover?
A: Your first question answers your second
[Read: stop loving men with horse heads and things might brighten up for you a little bit...]
Q: Would you like me to draw the old cast from the WBL2 comics?
A: YES
Q:What would happen if me and Frattimonde got married and photographed our honeymoon and posted it in creative concepts?
A: I would contact every single mod I talk to and make them negative rep you. Such horrors are not to be publicly viewable.
Q: will koreans ever be dethroned of their starcraft supremacy? if so, how?
A: No.
Chocolate or leprechaun?
Chocolate.
Hasn't anybody told you? Leprechauns cause diarrhea when digested. That's why it's green >_<
Frattimonde
06-05-2007, 4:27 PM
Zelt, will you marry me? ^^
Icarus
06-06-2007, 1:00 AM
may I sine yo pitty?
Why the hell on Earth is this (thread) still 'flying'? :P
Kazansky
06-06-2007, 5:30 AM
Q: Are we going to have another Cold War with Russia?
A: No, and what is it with this russian obsession of yours? Are you kazanzky's boy bitch or something?
Cos... let me remind you that you're my eternal ho, and trust me, the gasmask freak will NEVER love you like big daddy zelt :P
<3
Amen! XD
Oh yes, question:
Would you shoot TheAzn for defecting, please?
Which came first, the spammer or the troll?
Zelt, why is Leider (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmNjNOAGhOg) such an awesome song?
why do people believe in god?
Jimmy_the_saint
06-09-2007, 10:46 PM
why does life suck. and how do i stop loving men with horses heads?
claus
06-09-2007, 11:47 PM
Uncle Zelt. Why do people in general annoy me?
(I was seeing if Zelt would catch that. Uhhh yeah that's it.)
PrestonBurke
06-10-2007, 4:07 PM
Uncle Zelt. Why do people in general anoy me?
Because you spell annoy wrong.
Papa Zelt, are we so grown up that you have left us to fend for ourselves in this wilderness?
Zeltaris
06-12-2007, 11:28 PM
Q: Zelt, will you marry me? ^^
A: No. I will buy your soul for $2 and a whistle. Whaddaya say?
Q: may I sine yo pitty?
A: May I rip your right eye out of its socket and then take a dump in it? Thought so...
Q: Why the hell on Earth is this (thread) still 'flying'? :P
A: You're doing it wrong. Heaven and not hell is a place on earth. Oooh heaven is a place on earth.
Also, this thing is flying because my glorious emesis and meteorism keeps it afloat.
Q: Would you shoot TheAzn for defecting, please?
A: No, but I can sneak into his room at night and piss on him. As an added bonus, I can pour egg yolk on his arse and make him think he was raped by Zenox.
Q: Which came first, the spammer or the troll?
A: In the beginning, there was Zelt. One day said unto himself: Let us pick our nose. And so he did and from his nose he picked one bugger, which was flycked away from him by him atwards the closest wall. Then he said unto himself: Let us scratche our arse hawle and from it thus came under his fingernailes a gunke which was by him wiped away at the touch of tissue paper. And this tissue paper too was used to wipe the bugger which was flickede by him at the wall and verily from this mess of faeces and snotte came forth one spammer and one troller, not one preceding the other but indeed both simultaneously created from the tissue paper which was once used to wipe gunk and snotte.
WARNING: The above text contained graphic and disgusting details. Small children should NOT have read it.
Q: Zelt, why is Leider (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmNjNOAGhOg) such an awesome song?
A:Leather, my child, leather. *cracks whip*
Q: Why do people believe in god?
A: Free cookies
Q: why does life suck. and how do i stop loving men with horses heads?
A: Life only sucks, because you make it suck. Simple, huh?
As for the horse blokes... the only solution is becoming a eunuch. Yay ^_^
Admit it, you always wanted to sing soprano...
Q: Uncle Zelt. Why do people in general annoy me?
A: You cranky little bitc... I mean uh... you need to relax. People are stupid. Chances are, you're pretty stupid too. That's a good thing. Stupid is good. Just look at the IR. Does it look like a happy place to you? Noooo..
Also, notice this. I am typing in short sentences. This is good for you. It makes your brain work less. That way it doesn't overload. You don't want it to overload. It will burst out of your skull like popcorn. That is bad for you. But cheer up. It is good for us. We will bite on it and laugh at you and pour ketchup in your nostrils.
Q: Papa Zelt, are we so grown up that you have left us to fend for ourselves in this wilderness?
A: No, I'll always be here for you :3
Provided I still have time after school, gym, eating, sleeping 3-4 hours in the afternoon and spending random nights at the hospital.
WarInSerbia
06-13-2007, 10:09 AM
When will we die?
TheDriver
06-13-2007, 10:10 AM
Why on earth do I focus on getting a mellifluous flow of teh cashorz ?
Icarus
06-13-2007, 10:36 AM
Why was I born with a gap under my nose?
chibi
06-13-2007, 10:21 PM
Can you explain the difference between prokaryotic retrotransposons and eukaryotic ones because I'm really confused and I have an exam in 2 weeks.
Markpyro
06-13-2007, 10:56 PM
Why are you never on msn anymore? I'm leaving soon :(
What if a rabid tico comes and bites my head off, and I don't know what to do, huh? it'll be all your fault X_x
Borgorb
06-14-2007, 12:12 AM
Do U Eat Cheeze!?!?!?!?
( Zomg =3 )
PrestonBurke
06-14-2007, 1:12 AM
Why are you one of the coolest members ever on this site?
Jimmy_the_saint
06-14-2007, 1:19 AM
Why must i be a eunuch? that would hurt my Ego
Why are you one of the coolest members ever on this site?*Cough*Suck up*Cough*
Can i borrow your bedroom door?
PrestonBurke
06-15-2007, 3:47 PM
*Cough*Suck up*Cough*
Why is Zenox not as cool as you?
bobboy
06-15-2007, 7:34 PM
BoOBIES?!?!?!!
Atillawurm
06-18-2007, 11:33 PM
Why does It rain Cats and Dogs only when I forget my allergy medication?
Zeltaris
06-24-2007, 5:49 PM
Q: When will we die?
It is commonly accepted that when your HP reaches zero, an ostrich will pop out of the ground and peck your dick off. This trauma is so extreme that rather than pass out, you pass away. I get to keep your Xbox, though.
Q: Why on earth do I focus on getting a mellifluous flow of teh cashorz ?
Mellifluous, huh? Yay, big words.
Q: Why was I born with a gap under my nose?
A: You were designed as an example for other children to learn that it is not wise to run around with scissors.
Q: Can you explain the difference between prokaryotic retrotransposons and eukaryotic ones because I'm really confused and I have an exam in 2 weeks.
A: Aw, anna... I'm terribly sorry, but I can't. My mollecular biology class last term didn't go too deep into genes, so I'm lucky I even know what a transposon is :/
Q: Why are you never on msn anymore? I'm leaving soon :(
What if a rabid tico comes and bites my head off, and I don't know what to do, huh? it'll be all your fault X_x
A: I'm busy doing stuff IRL you fool.
And it's not like that would ever happen. Ticos are incredibly soft people. I mean, you can poke them and they'll squeak and deflate immediately. Then they'll pop back together and put ketchup on their every meal. So... yeah.
Q: Do U Eat Cheeze!?!?!?!?
A: No, Cheese is my brother.
Q: Why are you one of the coolest members ever on this site?
A: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. No karma for you. You are entitled to only one compliment-retributional karma per year.
Q: Why must i be a eunuch? that would hurt my Ego
A: Pfeh. If you really are a saint, then you didn't even need your meatwad to start with.
Q: *Cough*Suck up*Cough*
A: Zenox, the Bitches & Ho Inc. Handbook clearly states that you should NOT attempt to breathe while performing oral sex, as it is hazardous to your airways. Sheez... nobody follows instructions these days.
Q: Would an Elephant?
A: Would an elephant WHAT? Perform oral sex? Of course, in fact, their trunks are specially designed to service two customers at once.
Q: Why is Zenox not as cool as you?
A: Refer to the question below (Boobies)
Q: BoOBIES?!?!?!!
A: Why yes, please. Make sure they are firm, yet squishable. Extra props if they come in that delightful tinfoil wrapping :)
Q: Why does It rain Cats and Dogs only when I forget my allergy medication?
A: Porn yay!
Serban
06-24-2007, 6:02 PM
Is it true that you have a 320 GB HDD filled only with porn divided into over 600 folders and only use B[ull]S[hit]Player to play them? :P
Jimmy_the_saint
06-24-2007, 8:23 PM
Oh yeah.......Why are you telling me to get rid of it? so you can have it?
Is tinfoil always a good thing, or does it sometimes turn to the Dark side?
WarInSerbia
06-25-2007, 1:29 PM
Why are ostriches "pecking" our dicks off? :)
Serban
06-25-2007, 3:21 PM
Is it good to watch porn movies 24 hours a day, or is it better to watch 22 hours and then practice for 2 hours?
Is it true that in fact you're this guy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0129290/)? :_poke:
PrestonBurke
06-25-2007, 4:55 PM
Are you going to be the first Chief of Surgery that received that position before the ripe age of 40?
DarkMirror
06-25-2007, 5:00 PM
When will episode 100 of Red vs. Blue come out? I have waited forever, you Zeltastic wonder-man!(Or woman, whatever.)
Oh, and your so cool its so funny, yet not.
Atillawurm
06-26-2007, 7:35 PM
Why does my thigh itch when the pope is on TV selling cheap knockoff mp3 players?
Protoss_Honor
06-26-2007, 8:18 PM
How the hell did I go 2 months to the day without posting in this forum. Also, how the heck did you learn 10k new words in Med School?
Giggilyomeromicon
06-26-2007, 8:19 PM
How do I shot web?
PrestonBurke
06-26-2007, 9:51 PM
Is that glorious beacon of light coming over the horizon you? Or is it just the sun?
InfinityComplex
06-27-2007, 12:56 AM
What's the best angle for breaking your arm when punching a wall?
Also, if I take antibiotics and painkillers, would they both work, or would I die a horrible death?
Icarus
06-27-2007, 2:58 PM
How do you put words together to make them sound nice?
Markpyro
06-27-2007, 7:28 PM
Why are you never online, you f00t.
Ghelgath
06-27-2007, 8:47 PM
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
Zerg_eater
07-05-2007, 7:58 PM
how do i create invisible text?
like this??
Mr.Bad
07-05-2007, 9:26 PM
Why do you answer questions?
DarkMirror
07-05-2007, 9:32 PM
Why is pytum an imbellcile? I mean, realy. He is both n00bish and slutty.
Jimmy_the_saint
07-05-2007, 11:19 PM
Why is DM ^^^^ a dumbass. he never posts a wish in corrupt a wish
apostolos
07-07-2007, 5:30 AM
Why no1 likes me?
MajorSonnwaitts
07-07-2007, 1:24 PM
Why does Blizzard hates us for releasing SC2 9 years after the first SC?
TheDriver
07-08-2007, 6:53 PM
My intuion tells me that your axiom isnt axiom at all. But more of a coke induced pscheydellic comatic romp of dysfunctial imagination. Am i right?
Serban
07-08-2007, 6:56 PM
Why won't you answer us? :mad:
WarInSerbia
07-11-2007, 4:59 PM
(he/she is dead!AMIN)
why do you THINK that's invisible text, when it is white on a peach background?
apostolos
07-20-2007, 12:39 AM
Why Zeltaris is dead?:P
ULTRAZEALOT
07-20-2007, 1:48 AM
why r we here doin this at this time?????
apostolos
07-20-2007, 2:28 AM
Why is Zeltaris a n00b?
WarInSerbia
07-20-2007, 3:27 PM
Apostolos didn't you read the rules?Only ONE question at a time.
TheDriver
07-20-2007, 10:47 PM
Why hasnt warinserbia figured out that white is a horrible text hiding color?
apostolos
07-21-2007, 12:33 AM
how do you make hiden text?
you change the text color's HEX code to match the background colors HEX code
Mattimeeleo
07-22-2007, 7:30 PM
Do you like my siggy?
apostolos
07-24-2007, 7:36 AM
Do I look like a banana head
haven't you looked at your avatar recently?
apostolos
07-24-2007, 3:02 PM
Why people hate Zealot heads?
it just lookd like a bannana! it's even the right color!
apostolos
07-25-2007, 12:01 AM
Why Sento answered my question?
lol, i dunno... aren't we only allowed 1 question per round?
apostolos
07-25-2007, 2:20 PM
Who cares?
I'd say this has degenerated into a spam thread...
Only I'm not sure that "degenerated" is really the correct word.
might help if Zelt answered this batch soon
Gunmonk
07-25-2007, 8:12 PM
Zelt where do babies come from?
InfinityComplex
07-27-2007, 12:19 AM
Why aren't you replying to our ultimately stupid questions?
Protoss_Honor
07-27-2007, 5:13 PM
Why has our Zelt forsaken us? WHY!!!!
MajorSonnwaitts
08-02-2007, 3:50 PM
Zelt's dead?
Dude...
Zeltaris
08-27-2007, 9:41 PM
Hausq00t... this is one megafrucken huge batch of questions. *gets to work*
Q: Is it true that you have a 320 GB HDD filled only with porn divided into over 600 folders and only use B[ull]S[hit]Player to play them? :P
A: No, I don't. My pr0n is single-use only. DL, view, delete. It's what the smart kids do :P
No way your mum will ever find your secret stash of eel-fetish vids that way :P
Q: Oh yeah.......Why are you telling me to get rid of it? so you can have it?
A: Yes. Believe it or not, Japanese collectors are willing to give me 7-figure sums for that little piece of... you know. I've heard that knowing there's someone smaller out there is an excellent confidence-booster :P
Q: Is tinfoil always a good thing, or does it sometimes turn to the Dark side?
A: Oh no, tinfoil is shiny. Tinfoil makes blissful crinkling noises. Tinfoil is your best friend when it comes to wiping your arse.
Milk on the other hand... *shudder* Milk = Rape. Google it.
Q: Why are ostriches "pecking" our dicks off? :)
A: The smiley face in your questions tells me you're quite a fan of the painful animal blowjob. I suggest you purchase a lamprey as your next sex toy (http://www.uvm.edu/~irwe/images/project_images/Lamprey.jpg). They come in a wide variety of sizes, although colour choices are severely limited, unfortunately.
Q: Is it good to watch porn movies 24 hours a day, or is it better to watch 22 hours and then practice for 2 hours?
A: I honestly doubt you'd make it past 8 hours without getting blue balls or an irrepressible urge to fap so bad you either rip your dick out, or smash it so hard it comes inverted out of your arse o_O
Unless it's lesbian porn. Lesbian porn is boring as hell.
Q: Is it true that in fact you're this guy (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0129290/)? :_poke:
A: No. I am cootie christmas w00t w00t oh fuck I just soiled myself. Again.
Q: Are you going to be the first Chief of Surgery that received that position before the ripe age of 40?
A: No. There's this freak genius kid at another college in my city who's studying medicine AND psychology at the same time. Little snot's only 12 years old... I wonder if he gets beat up a lot >.>
Q: When will episode 100 of Red vs. Blue come out? I have waited forever, you Zeltastic wonder-man!(Or woman, whatever.)
A: Pöot?
Why, yes indeed!
Pöot?
oh my, how swell!
Pöot pöot!!
Oh, with some corn on it would be exquisite.
Pöot you...
Now now, there's no need to be so rude...
*note: you can say wtf now*
Q: Why does my thigh itch when the pope is on TV selling cheap knockoff mp3 players?
A: I can only guess you'd love it if the pope were to scratch that general area of your body. You sick thing...
Q: How the hell did I go 2 months to the day without posting in this forum. Also, how the heck did you learn 10k new words in Med School?
A: You were lost among the buttercups. How very ghey of you. Now come here and give me a hug.
Q: How do I shot web?
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/images/8/8b/Sandwich-repost.gif
Q: Is that glorious beacon of light coming over the horizon you? Or is it just the sun?
Oh it's definitely me. Naked.
Q: What's the best angle for breaking your arm when punching a wall?
A: It won't actually break your arm. You can injure several fingers, your hand and your wrist though. Chances are it'll bend horribly, but your arm won't be too damaged. Your best chance of breaking your arm is falling on it, or putting it by your side and smashing against the wall. Or you can put it on a soft surface and ask your fat friend to sit on it. Possibilities are endless.
Q: Also, if I take antibiotics and painkillers, would they both work, or would I die a horrible death?
A: Just get a shot of potassium. Straight into your heart. For ultimate winz :D
Q: How do you put words together to make them sound nice?
A: Like this: PENIS BOOBS ASS VAGINA XXX SLUTS VIXENS SEXY BLOWJOB ENLARGE VIAGRA HOT SUCK
q: Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
a: Exactly. They carry them, instead. Duh...
Q: Why do you answer questions?
A: Because sitting here and typing inane answers for your sense-deprived questions is a fulfilling moment in my life, the light at the end of the tunnel that keeps me going even when I just want to curl up and die.
No, really.. I get payed for it :P
Q: Why is pytum an imbellcile? I mean, realy. He is both n00bish and slutty.
A: OLOL u can'tz spell imbecile lol.
Q: Why no1 likes me
A: Because you won't let anyone lick you.
Q: Why does Blizzard hates us for releasing SC2 9 years after the first SC?
Blizzard is a corporation. They've held back SC2 because they want to create a product that will live up to its predecessor, therefore creating lots and lots and lots and lots and OMG LOTZ 0F PROF1T LOLZ. They not have feelings and as such, they do not hate you. Of course, they don't love you either. In fact, they don't care about you in the slightest.
I hope that makes you feel better :)
:P
After answering 10+ questions, I start running out of bullsh... I mean, inspiration. I'll leave the next batch for the next time.
My intuion tells me that your axiom isnt axiom at all. But more of a coke induced pscheydellic comatic romp of dysfunctial imagination. Am i right?
Why won't you answer us? :mad:
Why Zeltaris is dead?:P
why r we here doin this at this time?????
Why is Zeltaris a n00b?
Do you like my siggy?
I'd say this has degenerated into a spam thread...
Only I'm not sure that "degenerated" is really the correct word.
Zelt where do babies come from?
Why aren't you replying to our ultimately stupid questions?
Why has our Zelt forsaken us? WHY!!!!
Zelt's dead?
Dude...
apostolos
08-29-2007, 3:07 PM
OMG You're alive.O RLY?
Sento
08-30-2007, 10:58 PM
why is Warboards in white?
Protoss_Honor
08-31-2007, 7:24 PM
Is Zelt back? For Real?
MajorSonnwaitts
08-31-2007, 7:46 PM
Why you didn't come to answer our questions? I even had to create another questions thread 'cause you weren't here...
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