Worst pick up lines ever

[h0bgawblin]

I've heard many of the bad ones, but what, in your opinion, is the worst you've ever heard. Try to post one at a time.

Your dad has to be a thief because you have diamonds in your eyes.

[Thedutchjelle]

Uh, i dunno. I haven't heard any. I think. Does 'Hello' count? :P

[h0bgawblin]

coincidently, I was talking to a girl recently and she said that she wished guys would just say hello instead of crappy pick up lines.

If you can't think of one that you've heard, make one up. Like so,

Your so hot, I don't care if you have a yeast infection.

[Thedutchjelle]

Hmm.. what exactly are pick-up lines.. is it just the first line you say in a converation, or does the conversation has to be girl-boy/boy-girl?

Excuse my English :P

[Black.Ice]

"Hey, wassup girl. I'm a moderator for an online gaming forum. We know how to get down, we're part of the orgy network."

Fails.

Every. Time.

[Thedutchjelle]

Yes? Damn.

'You feel like 1v1ing tonight?'

[Hasharin]

Yes? Damn.

'You feel like 1v1ing tonight?'

lol! when i figure out how to rep, u get +1 for that.

how about... "Are u drunk, or are my hopes too high?"


Translations:

What i mean to say: "Hi!"
Comes out as: "Hplblz."

[Toucan]

"Hi, you must be tired because you have been running through mind all day"
or
"Hey, what's your star sign?"

This is the "worst" pick up line thread right?

LOL

[Spartan-II]

I've never actually seen someone use a pick-up line seriously.

Thank god..

'You must have been raised on a farm, cause you sure know how to raise cocks!'

[Thedutchjelle]

lol! when i figure out how to rep, u get +1 for that.

how about... "Are u drunk, or are my hopes too high?"


Translations:

What i mean to say: "Hi!"
Comes out as: "Hplblz."

Thank you.
Look under a person's avatar. You should see a small button with a weird symbol, and right to it is a button with a ' ! ' mark.
The left one is for reputation, the right one is for warning mods about bad content in posts. Or something.

Anyway, i think i'll have to admit that was to only one i can come up with right now :P

[Battlecruiser]

'You must have been raised on a farm, cause you sure know how to raise cocks!'

HAHAHA, oh man, that was great.

Here's a biology related pickup line: I want to be your helicase so I can unzip your genes.

You can see why that would not be very successful.

[TheListener]

'Get in the van, bitch'

[Magmaniac]

"Do you work at Subway? Because you're giving me a foot-long."

"Hey you look like you have a little Irish in you."
(If yes)
"Want to see my four leafed clover?"
(If no)
"Well, would you like one?" *wink*

[B.A.Baracus]

"Are u drunk, or are my hopes too high?"

haha not bad;)

[Magmaniac]

"Do you work for UPS? Because I saw you checking out my package."

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you."

"Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out."

"Was your dad a baker? Because you've got some fine buns."

"I lost my number, can I have yours?"

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."

"Are you a DJ? Because you make my heart beat."

"If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet, I would put U and I together."


"Can I touch your belly button... from the inside?"





"You remind me of an unprotected crystalline planet. I want to pillage you then run away."

[TheListener]

"Can I touch your belly button... from the inside?"



EW. That's some gross shit.

[h0bgawblin]

This one is a one my friend actually used. It worked because it was so damn random.

*beat boxing* "hey" *2 beat box sounds* "may I support your breasts with the back of my hand?"

He said everything to the tempo lol.

[B.A.Baracus]

Hey sugar how you doin'? That pretty face don't match that nasty attitude. What do you mean where's my girl? Probably with yo man- can we fuck?

[EvilEmpire]

You know, I'll have a 4 megabit by next month.

...

[TheListener]

'Give me your number or I'll scream rape.'

[TinyDancer]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[TheListener]

The line that ALWAYS works for me (not that i need/use pickup lines) is:

'Shut the fuck up! My dad... he owns this dealership... MY DAD OWNS A DEALERSHIP!'

[Zeltaris]

I can see your aura.

[U-238]

"Do you work for UPS? Because I saw you checking out my package."

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you."

"Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out."

"Was your dad a baker? Because you've got some fine buns."

"I lost my number, can I have yours?"

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."

"Are you a DJ? Because you make my heart beat."

"If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet, I would put U and I together."


"Can I touch your belly button... from the inside?"





"You remind me of an unprotected crystalline planet. I want to pillage you then run away."

pull any of those and the next thing you'll be sayin is

"Is your fist a galaxy? Because I'm seeing stars."

[dunchy]

Could I have a name to the face I'm going to beat off to later tonight?

[Black.Ice]

If you think about it, a bad pickup line is better then standing back letting your own inhibitions prevent you from meeting new people. I'd rather go out and make an ass of myself then sit back and watch an opportunity pass me by.

[h0bgawblin]

You need to get into my pants, there is a bomb in there that's about to explode.

[Magmaniac]

The infamous:

"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

[xodkrm]

I think all pick-up lines are shitty.
It's best to just talk.

[Thedutchjelle]

'Either you come, or i hackz your PC'

'Sh4ll 1 T34ch y0u 13375p34k?'

[Icarus]

"i've got lots of money"

[Thedutchjelle]

"Like the weather?"

[TheListener]

"i Have Urges, Maaaaaaan!!'

[xodkrm]

"i've got lots of money"
Why is that a bad pickup line?
It's probably the most effective one. Ever.

[Thedutchjelle]

'Plz tell you boobs to stop looking at my eyes.'

[TheListener]

'Plz tell you boobs to stop looking at my eyes.'



hahahhahaha. I like that one

[h0bgawblin]

"I can play guitar with my dick"

[SuiCidAl-KiSmEt]

"If you want, we could play a few games together." ;)

[TheListener]

"Listen here, I can take this shit, or you can give it to me willingly"

(From the 'Juggernaut Bitch" video)

[Icarus]

"You better hand over that V-card,bitch" -unforgivable

[Zeltaris]

I have a postcount of over 7,000 at [insert forum name here]

[Ktan]

"Let's play army. I'll lie down and you'll blow the hell out of me"

[Thedutchjelle]

XD nice one Ktan.

[Ktan]

More:

"Let's play Titanic. You be the Iceberg, and I'll go down on you"

"Hey baby, I'm like a Rubix cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get"

"If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"


http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/38397962/

Boy, I'm smooth.

It's been a year

[SuiCidAl-KiSmEt]

Help! My clothes are on fire! I need you to smother on me.

I'm supposed deliver Chinese Food, but I heard someone ordered the night special.

I dropped my 10 dollar bill behind you, if you want to earn it, go down and get it.

I'm sorry, but I ran out of lotion. Can you make some for me?

[Basan]

"My eyes just turned into iron... and your boobs sure have magnetic properties." I've actually saw that one used in my vicinities (obviously in Portuguese)... :P

[TinyDancer]

"The word of the day is 'legs'. Now go forth, and spread the word."

"Is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?"

"If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

i knew that last one before ktan posted that link.

[SHISHKABOB]

"Wanna fuck?"

[andman3000]

"so, do you fuck?"

[kongurous]

Is that really mud or is this my lucky day?

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to knock you out and chain you up in my basement?

Hey baby, are you tired? Because you look like shit.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause I can tell you're gonna cost me a lot of money.

SCREAM AND I'LL KILL YA, BITCH!

I have your family as hostage so you better do as I say, I love you too.

Your mouth would make an interesting urinal.

Size doesn't really matter, does it?

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

Well, it's not going to just suck itself.

I'm making a snuff movie and you're going to star in it.

Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?

You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna Pikachu.

Are you wet or should I walk through the door again?

Alright, off with the panties you whore. I'm not fucking joking around anymore. This will hurt.

Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.

[TinyDancer]

For the music geek:

"I'm a fermata. Hold me."

For the math geek:

"I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves."
or
"By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares."

For the computer geek:

"You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime."
or there's always
"You turn my floppy disk into a hard drive."


The end.

[Spartan-II]

TD would totally put out if someone used those on her.

Hell.. I would.

Also, lesbians using pickup line are hilarious..

[TheListener]

My drive is very hard right now. About 500gigs

[Thedutchjelle]

Is that really mud or is this my lucky day?

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to knock you out and chain you up in my basement?

Hey baby, are you tired? Because you look like shit.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause I can tell you're gonna cost me a lot of money.

SCREAM AND I'LL KILL YA, BITCH!

I have your family as hostage so you better do as I say, I love you too.

Your mouth would make an interesting urinal.

Size doesn't really matter, does it?

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

Well, it's not going to just suck itself.

I'm making a snuff movie and you're going to star in it.

Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?

You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna Pikachu.

Are you wet or should I walk through the door again?

Alright, off with the panties you whore. I'm not fucking joking around anymore. This will hurt.

Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.

All these have been tested , approved and copyrighted by "kongurous love industries".

[TinyDancer]

TD would totally put out if someone used those on her.


How'd you kn-I mean-Of course I wouldn't! What do you take me for, some kind of geek-slut?

[Ubergopher]

What do you take me for, some kind of geek-slut?
Yes, and a cam-whore.

[h0bgawblin]

Yes, and a cam-whore.

You get hit a lot don't you?

[Ubergopher]

You get hit a lot don't you?
Nope.

[kongurous]

All these have been tested , approved and copyrighted by "kongurous love industries".

I have a 'love industry'? Sweet.

[h0bgawblin]

"my mom used to hit me with a wooden spoon, want to give it a try?"

[PrestonBurke]

Here's some dumb one i heard:

The Original pick up line: "Are you from Tenesse? Because your the only Ten-I-See.

But it has been transformed into: "Are you from Tenesse? Because you look like a HICK!"

Or: "You know whats Hot.... a frying pan."

[VigilanteV]

"Are you from Heaven? Cause i got an erection."

"Are you walking alone to your car tonight?"

"Lets have sex"

"look i am going to screw you one way or another"

"I'm cold. Can you rub me?"

"do you care it i take my pants off?"

"Lets go talk in this dark alley way with no one around."
Lesbian one
"Want to see my snake collection?"

[Icarus]

We should change the topic to "best/funniest pick up lines ever"

[Thedutchjelle]

Probably. Everybody is trying to make funny lines instead of terrible ones.

[SuiCidAl-KiSmEt]

"I'm a magician, come to my place and we can make some magic."
- Bad enough for you? :X

[Icarus]

"I come with a receipt"

[TheListener]

"FUCK YOU! I'M THE ONE WITH THE GUN BITCH!"

I think I've crossed the line between funny and "omgcallthefuckingpolice"

[TheDriver]

If i had a laser you'd be set to stunning.

[VigilanteV]

"I have a fifty."

[SuiCidAl-KiSmEt]

Er, this reminds of of this; Life as a guy. (http://ia300132.us.archive.org/0/items/LifeAsAGuyLifeAsAGuyasf/LifeAsAGuy.asf)
In real life, it'll be horrible to say bad pick up lines; as the movie realistically demonstrates ;X

[dunchy]

Why don't you sit on my face so I can guess how much you weigh?

[Gunmonk]

I had a mullet when I was five

[dunchy]

I had a mullet when I was five

Was that supposed to be funny?

[Protosschick99]

Zergeater sent this one to me a few months back just being...stupid and himself I suppose, lolz:

"Did you eat some lucky charms this morning? Because you're magically delicious!"

AHAHAHALOLZ--Stupid :P

Another stupid one, "Did it hurt?" "What?" "When you fell from heaven?"

Stupid :P

[Zenox]

If honey had legs you'd be a huge bee city;)

I wanna pick some of your lusciousness and eat it.

Your eyes are as big as a cows eyes..

[Protosschick99]

...Wow.

Now those are REALLY bad, lolz.

Zenox please DON'T use those EVER! :P

[Zenox]

...Wow.

Now those are REALLY bad, lolz.

Zenox please DON'T use those EVER! :P
I didn't even make them up, these are lines used here in Lebanon by really desperate guys who are in need of affection :D here's more:

I wanna kiss your mom for creating such a creature.

Your legs are so graceful they'd kill a horse with a single kick.

you'd look good in a shampoo add...

[Gunmonk]

Was that supposed to be funny?
well actually to tell the truth... it was. However this has actually been used before I have personally seen it used myself. It was propabaly three years ago at a coffee house called common grounds anyways so my cousin was just messing around and he goes up to this girl and uses the line. Three years later they are now engaged. So if you would exactly call that a pick up line I do not know. However, I think that this is proof that any line can be as good as any other.

[TinyDancer]

Your eyes are as big as a cows eyes..

I've been the subject of that one before.

It's actually kind of sweet, cows have these really pretty, doleful eyes.

[Protogod]

Don't scream and I won't kill you.

[VigilanteV]

WoW pick up lines

i'm a level 70 in bed

I just got to level 40. Want to be my mount?

[h0bgawblin]

"do you know why guitar players are hot?"

"no"

"it's cause they finger all the time"

[IrishDutchman]

I just got to level 40. Want to be my mount?

Reminds me of an Arena team. They were called 'Ur mom is my epic mount.' :D

[Zenox]

I want you inside me..

[Thedutchjelle]

"So uh, I don't know a good pickup line. Do you?"

[TinyDancer]

"Hey dudes, my tailgate can hold up to 300lbs."

Wait..wrong kind of pick up.

[Protogod]

I'm the hottest one on my online forum.

[Ubergopher]

"Hi, could I get you to smell this rag?"

[Magmaniac]

"Hey, you are so beautiful that I orgasmed when I saw you, thus nullifying the point of hitting on you as I only want sex and have no real moral values. Bye."

[Ubergopher]

Hi, I got you a drink. Please ignore the slowly dissolving pill in the bottom. Thanks.

[Magmaniac]

Got any STDs? ...
No?
Want some? :)

[TinyDancer]

"Hi, could I get you to smell this rag?"

Been done. Check the first page.

[Zenox]

*Sees girl*

*Runs behind girl*

*Humps the Girl*

*Gets attacked by girl..* Whaaat? this is how they do it on Animal Planet Baby..*runs*..

[Ubergopher]

[quote]Been done. Check the first page.[quote]
Liar. Its on my 3rd page, and I'm lazy.

[TinyDancer]

Make it show more than 3 posts per page then. And if you were motivated enough to find out where it was, then you're not lazy enough. Eat more cream puffs. :P

[Darkslayer633]

Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?

no how much?

I dunno but I bet it can break the ice, hi I'm [insert your name here]


that one isnt soo bad, but its lameish

[h0bgawblin]

I feel like my epeen is growing because I started this thread and it's 10 pages. YAY to me!

"hey baby, I started a 10 page thread, so why don't we just skip the hi and you get in my pants."

[Hasharin]

How about, "Hey, beautiful. I can speak in one language, including English."
(from Agent Cody BAnks 2. an oldie but a goodie)


Got any STDs? ...
No?
Want some? :)

I lol'd at that. awesome.

[Zenox]

En taro Adun

[IrishDutchman]

En taro Adun'

AAHAHAHA! :D

[Gunmonk]

Dang girl... You look like Kerrigan only I wanna do you

one of my friends completely plastered at a concert to a girl that was really an emo boy: Hi, your pretty.

[Hasharin]

En taro Adun

lol. Or, at a bar, say to a girl, "En Taro Beer! i mean...uhhh....Adun?" </nerd>

[B.A.Baracus]

Struggling will only make my penis harder.

[Protoss_Honor]

In the same catagory as En Taro Adun, although this may be a bit better, try "Wanna turn up the heat?"

[B.A.Baracus]

sc fags = cancer thats killing wb
my proof: Dang girl... You look like Kerrigan only I wanna do you

[h0bgawblin]

sc fags = cancer thats killing wb
my proof:

penis overwhelming

HAHAHALOLPWNZORFUCKNOOBLAWLZOHACKZORNOOBFESTOWNYCO WOFLEETHAXINGDOOMZOMGROFLTOMAOHHHPEN15WITHALEETHAX COMBOOFNOOBOWNAGELOLOLOLOLOLOLHAHAHAHEHEHAHAHAHEHE HEHAHAHAHAHA!!!!@211!!!!ONE##@@@!12223332221!!!@@! !!22!TWO@@!!!!!!!!!!!!THREE##33!!!12

[MatGeo]

penis overwhelming

HAHAHALOLPWNZORFUCKNOOBLAWLZOHACKZORNOOBFESTOWNYCO WOFLEETHAXINGDOOMZOMGROFLTOMAOHHHPEN15WITHALEETHAX COMBOOFNOOBOWNAGELOLOLOLOLOLOLHAHAHAHEHEHAHAHAHEHE HEHAHAHAHAHA!!!!@211!!!!ONE##@@@!12223332221!!!@@! !!22!TWO@@!!!!!!!!!!!!THREE##33!!!12

Which one is the pickup line ;)

[Gunmonk]

I believe its both.

1."Would you like to dance with a mild mannered pervert?"

"Dang if I had another beer you'd look hot"

2."Have you ever seen the back seat of a '69 station wagon?"

1. was taken from silent movie one of marty feldmans lines
2. was taken from that seventies show Stevens line

[SpeedyWorm1]

- Hey nice shoes. Wanna F***?

- Hey. Wanna sit in my lap and talk about whatever POPS up.

- Hey Babe, wanna make an easy 50 bucks?

- I'd marry your cat just to get in the family

- Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?

- Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isnt 3.5 inches OR floppy

- If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

- Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers

[zeal1]

"Lets have sex and get married"

Fortunatly this one never works.

[B.A.Baracus]

Come on girl, it'll look bigger when your drunk.

[VigilanteV]

"make me my dinner woman!"

[Zenox]

wanna see me pick my nose with my foot?

Baby..no one would lick your hair like i would.

If you run away home i'll just know were you live.

[Icarus]

"Hey baby... lookin for a pre-released startcraft 2 beta?"

[singo]

Personally I think these are two of the BEST pick-up lines.

Which may explain a lot.

"Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

"Do what your told, I have a knife"


The disturbing thing? I was told both of those by a police officer....

[Zerg_eater]

"Hey baby... lookin for a pre-released startcraft 2 beta?"Lawl that was awesome

Zergeater sent this one to me a few months back just being...stupid and himself I suppose, lolz:

"Did you eat some lucky charms this morning? Because you're magically delicious!"

AHAHAHALOLZ--Stupid :P

Another stupid one, "Did it hurt?" "What?" "When you fell from heaven?"

Stupid :Pwhat? I got bored...

[Zenox]

Wanna see my chicken shaped birth mark on my butt?

[Zerg_eater]

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

I kept hearing this at school...seriously...

[PinkPanther92]

Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: What?
Guy: The fall from heaven, you angel.
Girl: *sprays guy with mace*

Sorry, I got a little too detailed, But who knows maybe you will get lucky, lolz.

Damn it protoss chick you beat me to it again :/ lol

[PinkPanther92]

Personally I think these are two of the BEST pick-up lines.

Which may explain a lot.

"Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

"Do what your told, I have a knife"


The disturbing thing? I was told both of those by a police officer....


HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Kazansky]

You know what a really bad and forward pickup line is? I think this one takes the cake.

"You! Whore! Have sex with me now or I'll shoot you!"

[Icarus]

pickup line for kazansky:

"you can fire your AK at my gas mask all you want"

[Zenox]

Ok lets get one thing straight i'm faster than you...

If you know Karate i have a tranquilizer gun..

i'll show you things you've never seen before..

[Gunmonk]

So......... who wants to add a notch to my bedpost?

excuse me, can I see your toy chest?

Am I drunk?, or are you really hot?

[Dark_Soul74]

"Tell me, is your father a sieve? Because you are too fine."

[Gunmonk]

Here take this nuber and call it after I've had a couple of shots.

You're too ugly never in a million years but definitely in twelve shots.

so... I hear you like snakes

[Atillawurm]

Wanna make lemonade?

can I part my car in your garage?

[ClintonM]

"Do you want to wrestle my anaconda?"
"Ever had sex with two guys at once?"
"Ever had sex with a guy and a girl at the same time?"
"Skank you're not good enough for me." - Then walk away (My friends use this one, and it works! O.O)

Depending on the area, a bad pick-up line can actually work. In my area people tend to be depressed/low self esteem so the final one works because the girls wonder "Why doesn't he like me? :'(", which is kinda stupid imo...

[im2short2die]

"Did you fart? Because you blow me away."

[AzVortez]

"hey baby, sup? This is my pick-up line" and start smooching her.

[Zerg_eater]

Have you been eating lucky charms todoay?
cause you look magically delicious!




nice shoes!*then walk away*