Conforming

[h0bgawblin]

Given that the internet has older and more experienced than myself. I'm going to ask you, a nuetral party, a question. Recently, I've been trying to get my own apartment, and have been meeting some resistance by those whom I would need to approve it. The resistance is well founded, they are concerned I would isolate and fall through the cracks into misery. It, in fact, wouldn't suprise me if it happened.

Thier demands are as followed

Create a social network

Schedule your time better and pick up a stronger daily routine.

These are things I have interest in doing, but I can't find myself drawing enough motivation to do these things. I could, but I am left in a rather tough position. Would I be doing those things just because someone requested it of me? How am I able to know if I am doing these things for myself, rather than
completing a task for access to another life style? Even though some part of me wants to do the things listed above, I almost refuse to do them at someones request. I've tried all amounts of reason to persuade myself to simply follow through, but have met far too much reluctancy in the process. How am I going to live on my own, if I havn't found out a solution to these problems for myself?

I am starting to think this is part of that whole teen age rebellion thing (am I 18). However unlike most of my peers, I dislike rebellion without causation. Which is why I am here. Who amongst you has gone through similiar experiences? Can you tell your tale, so that I might learn from it? You are free to respond however you like, in fact I encourage honesty, but an answer telling me to simply "suck it up" will not be recieved well considering I've contemplated that for a LONG time.

[Pisces]

Well your 18, teenage rebellion should be near to be out of your system by now, at 18 I was taking up leadership roles and performed my tasks as an elected dictator. That was quite a change from when I was younger. I'd get a part time job to shut them up, work is scheduled and social so its an easy solution plus you get paid. But I don't think there is any reason why you need to conform to meet those criteria, I've never had a job with set work hours, one time jobs are my thing, they can be hard to find sometimes but they make up for it in pay.

Aside from work, then you can do social things, find a group of people who share an interest, whether it is people you know already or a society of people like a gaming or writers club.

[Black.Ice]

The first step to getting motivated is to figure why you actually want to do something. If you want to do something just to get it done, you're not going to be truly motivated. If you have an end goal or an actual, good reason for creating a social network, then you'll be more motivated to stick through it. I'm not sure if that make any sense. I'll I'm saying is that you can't expect to be motivated without really wanting to do something. And you have to ask yourself what are your reasons are for doing something. If you have a solid good reason for doing something, motivation will naturally follow. At least for mwa.

[h0bgawblin]

The problem is that I don't know what I want exactly, just an idea. I've never had the opportunity to make mistakes in my family, thusly have had an enviroment that prevents good learning. So, I want to try to live on my own to find out my capabilities. Which is a decent reason to want to move out and live on my own. The trouble is really how I go about it. Since failure was not an option, I fought for the room to fail in subtle ways (video games lets say). However, now that I desire something from a world that requires interaction with other people (not allowed to fail again essentially), I am having trouble finding a consistant motivation or patience. When do I want to move out, nowish, how am I going to go about getting to move out? How should I know, I'm being left to my own devices and not getting a lot of concrete help. It's difficult to sit with the amount of uncertainty that exists in this decision, even though it's neccessary at some point or another. Anyone experience this sort of thing?

I suppose the real problem, is a lack of a concrete plan. I only have an idea of what I want to do, but it's fairly viable. School, social clubs around writing, tennis, and I really liked the thought of video games thanks for that. How would I get access to information partaining to joining these clubs and a public transportation system to get me to these clubs? Living on my own isn't REALLY the problem because I've had to take care of myself since I was really young. The tricky part is not losing myself to isolation, which is why I am getting very anxious, because I don't know how to go about joining things in the community. That aside, there is also the expected social anxiety, but I am a likable guy so long as I don't introduce myself with one of those terrible pick up lines.

Just a side note, I know I'm dumping my shit in this thread, but I don't want people to feel pressured to actually "solve" my shit. What I would like, is if you had a similiar experience, or if you know some practical things like how to find the bus schedule and find local events.

[Pisces]

So I'm guessing your still in high school or are about to move on to something else? I could be completely wrong because education systems are different in different countries and I didn't turn 19 until I was in the second year of university. But I would suggest university would be a good place to start if you want to go to university, most people I know with controlling families used university as an excuse to move far away and get out on there own. If you are at risk of locking yourself alone all day and becoming depressed then I wouldn't get a place by yourself, uni dorms are a good source of socialisation and sharing your own place with other people is a good way of dropping the rent and costs.

As for societies, try googling for anything, most likely the local university will have a society for everything from pirates to ninjas which are open to non students, at my university the drawing club has plenty of high school students and the wine club is pretty much exclusively professionals. Some education centres which are aimed at all walks of life will probably also have societies and clubs, especially the alternative ones, which you can go to and still be cool;) You can also go to these places and learn things which actually interest you:o Most would have computer studies, with some stuff devoted specially to game design. Now if you are doing so at a university some of these can be pretty expensive or during an inconvient time. Alt. schools will be better suited but some universities also offer general interest subjects during the evening/night a couple of lectures per week but without the assessment so although you usually don't get a piece of paper at the end they are a lot cheaper. This type of interest courses are a good place to meet people with the same interest who you can work with more or become friends with.

[h0bgawblin]

Thanks, I will look the stuff up. As far as moving into a universaty, it's not really an option. I'll be blunt, I am not in high school and havn't graduated. I was dis-satisfied with my perfomance in school, and decided that to increase my perfomance I needed to sort some stuff out. Also, getting a roomy is a good idea, and I am looking no farther than a friend of mine. If he can't do it, I'll be needing to make a buncha social commitments, which isn't that hard to do if thier fun to me.

[Kazeofwinds]

Honestly, get back in high school or get a GED, because (assuming you live in the states or a similar country) you won't get anywhere without it unless you manage to start your own business and hit it big, or want to be a trucker or something.

Yeah, High school sucks balls, but do it and get it over with, unless you want a McJob.

If you're attempting to move out I assume you have a job of some sort, so I wont mention that, but the "find clubs at a university" thing is a good place to start, or you could try meetup.com or some other similar website.

[h0bgawblin]

High school ain't happening until I am able to fix on other things in life. I plan to get a college degree, but I can't even think of that until I get my shit together. I won't go into detail, but it's a well thought out decision everything considered. I'll try the webpage, thanks.