Help with relationship plz?

[Mattimeeleo]

Yeah. Hi people.

Well, you know, since I trust most of the Warboard members, I'm asking a question about my relationship with my gf.

Well, we've been gf/bf (we are in highschool.... so dont be stupid) since December. We hang around alot, and we like eachother a lot...

You know, lately, our relationship (or at least on my side) is doing way down. I like her and all, but I'm having doubts if she likes me back or not. It could be cause we haven't gone out lately and I can't see her as often. Its almost as if we just lost interest.

She's pretty awesome and all, so lots of guys want her for themselves. Lucky me, she's my gf. So I'm starting to think about whether she's cheating on me or not...

I am I just being paranoid?

Also... I want to bring back our relationship back on our track... What should I do?


And... don't be stupid... No sex... no drugs... no illegal stuff.

[Spartan-II]

First of all, how old are you, and how old is she?

You guys have been together for roughly.. five months. When did your relationship start to 'go down'?

Also, why do you have doubts about her liking you? If there isn't a concrete reason, or a lot of small reasons, it might just be your insecurities playing with your head.

Don't totally dismiss the fact that she may be cheating on you, but unless you have some solid evidence or you've heard something from someone you trust, don't give those thoughts much room.

I recommend talking with your girlfriend about it. Go to the source of the problem, and find out if something is wrong. That's the only way you're going to find anything out, and it's the best way.

[Mattimeeleo]

I think I'm going paranoid... You know... finals are coming up.

[JenJen]

You are being paranoid about cheating. High school relationships often dont last long so sure you may not really like each other any more, but if you still feel like you want it to work then tell her how you feel and see if she wants to keep the relationship alive too. Then take her out on a nice night just the two of you. Wine and dine her (um minus the wine) or go to a play or movie. Do something special like bring her a flower when you pick her up and have good conversation that night not just hey i know everything cause i've been dating you for 5 months. try to find out something new.

[GenocideAlive]

It's high school. Maybe you guys just aren't as interested with one another as you initially thought. Maybe you are. Either way, it sounds like a time to stop the whole text message "wut's up r u kewl?" bullshit and have a grown-up talk. Ask her how things are going, pick a time to hang out and chat it up.

Relationships don't improve by tricks, they improve via communication. Which, by the way, sounds like is suffering in your relationship. Not good. And as far as the whole "omg iz shee cheeting" BS, you're just going to have to grow up. Getting bored isn't the same as cheating, and accusations like that make you look insecure and unprepared for a relationship (a possibility). If you don't trust her, you should dump her anyway.

[Icarus]

advice?

girls.are.not.to.be.trusted.

Screw her.

[Spartan-II]

GA speaks words of wisdom.

Talk to her in person about how you feel. It's the only real way to find the answers to your questions.

[Mattimeeleo]

advice?

girls.are.not.to.be.trusted.

Screw her.


Screw you. No offense. Just a joke. I said SOMETHING HELPFUL... not "screw her" bs.


Right... Thanks, other people. I guess I'm overreacting. And yeah... highschool... Lol.

[Zeltaris]

Matt, just ignore 121417OMGWTFBBQ, or report the post.
And listen to GA. He doubles you in age o.O
You should talk to her. Above all, be honest. No beating around the bush, no *hints*. It'll give her the impression that you're immature and not quite up to the task.

Although ultimately, don't make the mistake of blowing it out of proportion [Like Zelt did at 16 >_<]. Just like half the thread says: Teenage relationships are not transcendental.
I know at your age (15, at most, I'm guessing) all those hormones get the best of you and give you the impression you're living an epic drama novel. Trust me, you're not ;)
You're won't to die if it all works out the wrong way. Quite the opposite in fact, it's part of what makes you grow up. :)

[hammocksleeper]

It's high school. Maybe you guys just aren't as interested with one another as you initially thought. Maybe you are. Either way, it sounds like a time to stop the whole text message "wut's up r u kewl?" bullshit and have a grown-up talk. Ask her how things are going, pick a time to hang out and chat it up.

LOL, he's in high school, man. He's not a guy with a 9-5 job in the real world with limited opportunities to meet girls and time constraints under which to form relationships. For me and everyone in my half of the world, "wut's up r u kewl?" (as you put it) is still basically how it works even in college. Maybe a little more intellectually involved than that. :D Relationships are one big social game, it's not a rational businessy conversation with your colleague.

[JenJen]

advice?

girls.are.not.to.be.trusted.

Screw her.

I love your maturity it's people like you who should never reproduce. Has anyone seen idiocricy the movie? His post totally just reminded of me of it and the high possibility of it happening.

[Modred]

For me and everyone in my half of the world, "wut's up r u kewl?" (as you put it) is still basically how it works even in college.
Only in college no one remembers it because they were all drunk.

Speaking from experience in the failing communication area, I'll echo what GA said about that being so important. My last girlfriend didn't want to sit down and talk, didn't want to go out, didn't really want to hang out. As you can imagine, it was a miserable relationship and while it didn't feel good to end it, ending it was ultimately the best option. But if she really likes you and wants to give this a shot, she'll take the time to talk with you, so give that a try.

[Darkslayer633]

well, I might as well repeat this for the third time, suck it up princess, the only way to figure out whats up is to ask, tell her you want to talk, and then tell your whats on her mind, though the cheating thing is probably all in your head, and unless there is evidence to support it, I suggest not mentioning it.

[OboeGuru]

Here's something to consider: as ridiculous and Old Testament as it sounds, someone coveting your relationship is not uncommon. Someone coveting your significant other is not uncommon. That does not, however, imply that your significant other reciprocates those feelings to the third party.
In short, yes, you are being completely paranoid and irrational.

What's my advice? Resolve your trust issue before you even think about talking things over with her. If you're going to wonder about the fidelity of your girlfriend every time someone looks at her in 'that way,' you should really be questioning if you yourself are approaching the relationship correctly before wondering if something's amiss on her end.
It's a black day for me to be saying this [joking!], but GA is absolutely right:
Getting bored isn't the same as cheating, and accusations like that make you look insecure and unprepared for a relationship (a possibility). If you don't trust her, you should dump her anyway.

Without trust, communication is moot.

[Mattimeeleo]

Damn... I got lots of replies from this... THANKS ALOT PEOPLES!!!
Yeah... I'm just going to talk about this with my gf...

all those hormones get the best of you and give you the impression you're living an epic drama novel.:)


Lol... I guess that's right... It does seem like my life is an epic drama... Lol. So true. You rock...

Although ultimately, don't make the mistake of blowing it out of proportion [Like Zelt did at 16 >_<].

What did you do?

[GenocideAlive]

For me and everyone in my half of the world, "wut's up r u kewl?" (as you put it) is still basically how it works even in college.
...um, if you say so, bud. I guess I never really got into the whole Frat thing where you have "Little Sisters" that basically just comprise your pool of sex partners. Anonymous / noncommital sex certainly was being sold as fun, but the chances I got I inevitably turned down. I guess I'm missing out, but then again I'm sure there are a lot of AIDS/Herpes carriers that would take issue.

[h0bgawblin]

I am having similiar problems with my relationship at the moment. In honesty, GA's advice is VERY solid. I, always, in every relationship I have friendship or otherwise, try to establish a strong connection of trust and open communication. The reason I am having similiar problems with my relationship, is because she doesn't trust anyone enough to be honest with them. (I'm ganna vent a little) I recently found out she has an eating disorder, and I had to walk her (more like carry) to the doctor, because she didn't have the energy to do it herself. While I try to talk to her about how it's too much for me to support her when she is refusing to get help, she keeps saying "I'm fine". In response, I've told her, I need room from the relationship and she keeps pushing for it. Wanna know how I have to solve this problem? Tell her, straight up, listen I can't do this and you need to respect that or we can't see each other. I feel like I am abandoning this girl, but the relationship CAN NOT be salvaged.

Sit and talk with her, in detail, and prepare to hear everything. If you don't this is going to consume you and it seems like it's already starting to do that.

[GenocideAlive]

Self-abusers typically rely on partners that will put up with their behavior. This is called "enabling", because you give them indirect support with your presence and your help (like carrying her around). You are making the right decision, though you wouldn't be a jerk for telling her mom what's going on. If she's hurting herself to the point of collapsing, she needs to get some adults in on the equation.

My amateur analysis is that she fabricates issues of trust to make excuses for the fact that she's dishonest. "I don't trust anybody, that's why I lie." More like, "you lie because you fear rejection."

[bloodbane]

take a long walk to someplace with her

[Toucan]

My amateur analysis is that she fabricates issues of trust to make excuses for the fact that she's dishonest. "I don't trust anybody, that's why I lie." More like, "you lie because you fear rejection."
Damn straight.

"I, liar, never believe anyone else!"

[h0bgawblin]

I imediately sought help for her through her mother, but her mother sort of blew me off. I think it's more over for attention towards herself. I contacted her physician, he said he will look into some good hospitals and recomend it to her mother.

[GenocideAlive]

I imediately sought help for her through her mother, but her mother sort of blew me off. I think it's more over for attention towards herself. I contacted her physician, he said he will look into some good hospitals and recomend it to her mother.
Well, odds are someone has to be at least a little tuned out for that sort of thing to happen. It's just kind of sad that her mother is that unconcerned. But yeah, I'd stop there with the contacting of outside sources, you're probably going to get accused of meddling soon. If you really want to have fun, though, call Child Protective Services. >:>

[h0bgawblin]

She is 22, nothing child services can do, but yeah, we had our last talk of me saying I can't do this. It's tough to pull out because I want so much to make sure she gets help, but I know that she can only do that for herself. If she doesn't want help, she isn't going to get it. It's so damn tough to be focused on life when this shit goes down. I don't seem to get a break from it either. I need to stop attracting women in trouble, I seem to have a nack for it. Until then, I am thinking I should call off dating for a time regardless of how hot the women are.

[Spartan-II]

It's tough to pull out
Word.

Seriously though - If you do find yourself attracted to another woman, get to know her first. Spend time with her, find out her interests, see if you have compatible personalities. I've made the mistake of rushing into relationships and getting burned. The saying is true, 'Only fools rush in.'

Right now i'm taking things nice and slow. I've met what seems to be a nice, stable, and highly attractive girl. Waiting is actually better than it sounds, just being able to hang out with a girl, and have her appreciate me for me is refreshing. We have common interests so far, so i'm slightly optimistic.

Just keep moving forward, it's the best anyone can do in a tough situation.

[GenocideAlive]

If she's 22 and pulling this shit, yeah, she's pretty much attention whoring. She's unhappy with her life and probably lacks purpose and direction. Get the hell away from her, or everything good you effect will be luck and everything bad will be your fault. Fuck that. You don't need to "quit dating" or any of that emo shit, you need to just think with your brains and start having fun. You don't have to be having dunchy-levels of fun, just enough so that every girl you meet doesn't have to be Ms. Right.

A big mistake is trying to make every boyfriend / girlfriend you have into your ultimate marriage partner. Sometimes in the middle of a relationship, you realize things aren't going to work out, so you let it go and work out a mutual breakup. It makes your life a lot easier when you don't pressure things. Plus, it gives you both room to grow, and you may be able to come back to her later and reassess.

[Gunmonk]

sounds lie to me that if you already dont trust her now how can you trust her later on? And if you look at dating , at least the way I do, its to find someone that you really enjoy in hopes of getting married. I'm fairly sure you dont want that going on in your marriage. This was something that my friend and I talked about last summer she was going to be getting married later in december and she asked me what I thought. I was one of the grooms best friends and was even supposed to be a groomsman at the wedding and I said this "allot of things in life are based on faith and trust, such as the fact that my heart will beat again, that I will breathe one more time, that God exists. aAnd if that isn't in your relationship then maybe its time to call it off or put it on hold." She put it on hold the guy turned out to be a jerk which really sucked cause I thought he was a good guy and all, but my point is go talk to someone you trust that will give you straight up level headed advice

Also there is something to be said for toughing it out for someone you love.