Rascals, Young

[Frattimonde]

(A hate rant towards certain annoying older children on the subway with no discipline -_-)

Rascals, Young

O children, o children
So sweet when they are tiny
But when growing in age
Most annoying they become

For when they were tiny and sweet
Their loud noises could not be helped
For they knew no better
And had no other way of speaking

But now that they're older
Reason they should see
But certainly no, for no discipline they know
Surely you'd like to smite them
But that would not be nice

My head bursts
Powerless before their annoyance
These rascals of youth
Only free from them in death I be
Where quiet the forever is

[Battlecruiser]

It got a chuckle out of me. But I have neither traveled in the subway recently nor am I a poet, so I don't know too much about it. I did like the first paragraph (stanza?) the most just because it seemed kind of awkward and funny at the same time.

[ShadowGonissa]

Meh, not great. It says what it's trying to say, and well, I think that poetry shouldn't be straightforward. It should say without saying. Plus, it seems weird to speak of something casual, like children's behavior, with fancy words. Unless you're a child psychologist, and I don't know how many of them are poets. :D

[Zenox]

Thatissosweetmademyeyestearjustkidding:pnoreallyiw ouldsmitethem

[Frattimonde]

Thatissosweetmademyeyestearjustkidding:pnoreallyiw ouldsmitethem
Say wha' ? ^^

[GroG]

You've somehow got me addicted to your poems. Maybe you should start a "Frattimonde's Corner" or something ;p. Nice work.