GenocideAlive
03-01-2007, 3:36 PM
Seemed pretty fun. Lots of varied units is nice. I do have some pretty big interface gripes though, like you can only queue up one building at a time and you can't make a new one until after you place it. So if you were planning on expanding (and making that Surveyor piece of shit), you prebuild your Refinery and then its like OH NOES TEH SURVEYOR IS TEH DEAD and you can't use the piece of shit Refinery you just paid for, so you have to cancel it, which I assume doesn't even give you full money back, but regardless you can't make any new buildings unless you build a worthless piece of shit Crane which seems fucking retarded, but I guess you could sell it after you build your base faster. Overall that still seems fucking stupid.
So then there's the "Hero" for GDI which is a fuckload worse than what they were in Generals/ZH because they were actually cool and effective in those games. The unit movement seems sluggish, and while I realize yes tanks need to turn and shit, it's really annoying when your fucking units wont go where you tell them to because they're busy peeling out and doing giant donuts in the parking lot. You can't even fucking play Nod or Scrin so we have no fucking clue if the races are even fun. "LOL GUYZ ITS A MYSTERY SO THEY'LL BUY OUR TEH GAME EVEN THO IT SUXZ LOLZ!" Then there's the terrible voice acting but the saving grace is Jennifer Morrison who is <3. But even she is plagued with the fact that the script EA handed her is terrible so I feel ashamed to have to watch her spit idiotic-ass lines. Then there's the EA-trademark of having like 3 upgrades that do stupid ass shit for like 3 units. Hey guys we have like 8 upgrades for your Zone Troopers and one for the (I guarantee is) imbalanced-ass bomber planes.
I still don't like their design of air units since they have that supid-ass "superweapon" feel where you just right click some fucking building, but instead of superweapons which have big ass OMG COOLDOWN markers covering your screen you have to keep checking back to see if your aircraft are worth a damn (read: refueled) yet. Air is pathetic because it's like "Hey guys I nuked part of your army" or "Oh shit a turret fucking raped my 6000 gold investment in this piece of shit airplane" Then there's the glory of APC+Some kind of gay infantry, which is typically Zone Troopers who fucking rape except a group of 4 cost more than a damn Predator Tank and yet have 8000 upgrades that do jack shit.
HEY GUYS I CAN HEAL FOR THE COST OF LIKE 23849723984 MONEY! OMG and detection! It's like they want us to rely on this tier 4 infantry piece of shit that certainly owns but what the fuck. They're effective against Tanks yet can be run over by them really fucking easily. I mean you look at how fucking gay cloaked Snipers and Land Mines are and you have to realize the game revolves around the fucking tier 300 units because you can't even stop towers from going up so it's like "HEY GUYS I PREBUILT A TOWER in 5 seconds!" and then it's like THERE and you're fucked. Units take so damn long to get across the map compared to how long they take to build it's like "HAY GUYS SUPERWAPNOS LOL." So then comes the point of "WE'RE GIVING YOU MAMMOTH TANKS SO IT MIGHT BE FUN?" Really? Fucking really? That was so damn clever EA! You 1. Gave a piece of shit line to a gorgeous actress whom I'm sure puked after her role was done for the day, and 2. MADE A CLEVAR JOKE ABOUT HOW WE'RE PLAYING A VIDEO GAME. And yet you ruined the atmosphere I thought they actually did a decent job (bar the shitty voice acting of the Asian chick, though she is cute) creating. And what the fuck? We can spend 3000 fucking dollars worth of dilithium crystals or whatever the fuck your stupid resource is called to let our tier 4 infantry heal, but NO! None of the rest of the infantry can heal! And what the fuck? They come in random groups of like 9 or 24 or 2. Why not just fucking make the infantry come out either a) 1 at a time, or b) in equal fucking groups? You can't just fucking make each individual one better? Or is your shitty "LOL GROUPS" thing so we can identify the fucking equivalent looking worthless ass Infantry units. I mean holy shit, how original! Maybe make the units actually distinguishable and big enough to actually see! Oh no! So they're only 1/10 as big as a tank and not 1/100 whatever could I have been thinking! Oh wait! You could make up some bullshit (considering this is all about some fucking raised-from-the-dead Kain asshole and fucking SPACE ALIENS and some random ass DILITHIUM-STARTREK-FUCKING-CRSYTALS) about how their armor is really big, or they've grown, or the Tanks are just small because they're covered in DILITHIUM-FUCKING-ARMOR!. I don't care, but your system sucks. So anyways as I was saying you can't fucking heal your worthless-ass infantry which further makes me hate you (all of you, not just EA) because it's like "Holy shit!
Not only do they suck, but if they somehow win a battle, they're fucked!" so again it just promotes boring ass turtleteching and LOLSUPERWEAPONAIRPLANTESZ and LOLSUPERWEAPONMAMMOTHTANKSZ! LOL GUYZ RAILGUNS on my tanks, even though they don't look fucking different afterwards so it's like "wow guys I just made myself make even more of the same unit since I just made them better." THere's no counter system its just who can make the most fucking homo-erotic phallic-symbol tanks and planes and ION CANNONZ! This is the story of why this game sucks.
I pressed enter some.
Nod is even more poorly designed. Their turret system, while different, blows ass. HEY GUYS each individual turret not only sucks ass, but in fact all you really have to do is kill some stupid fucking "Hub" jackass that has like 3 hp. I don't even care if they grow back, they're terrible. I'll use them to raise veterancy on my units (which doesn't seem to appear in the Skirmishes afaik). But it's like HAY GUYS A GROUP OF 8 RIFLEMEN! Woot, they're good against (OMG!) Other Infantry! So this piece of shit owns other pieces of shit! Woot! It's pretty much a defensive tower since all they're actually good for is "OH SHIT INFANTRY let me make some Riflemen from my HaNDoFNoD!" or "LOL I'm camping in this building" - again promoting turtling. Then the rest of the infantry are fucking terrible. Missile guys are like one of two decent units. They beat the shitty small tanks early so ok that's decent, and the flamethrower kids are okay since they fucking own garrisoned infantry (lol I cracked ur turtle shell). Then what the fuck, cloaked flying snipers. How retarded is that. They also can't get shot by missles for some reason because of their cloaking shit. I dunno. Too bad they don't deal like any damage to buildings, so their stupid ass "LOL BOMBS" ability sucks complete ass. Yes! Let's run fucking SNIPERS up to a building to deal 20% damage! WOOOOOOOOOOT! So anyway how fucking stupid is that WALKER TANK! LOL GUYS I ATE 5000 DOLLARS WORTH OF UNITS and now I'm still going to get my shit packed by like 3 bomber planes. Then those bomber planes are going to kill the rest of my army because they can't be hit, move faster than fucking heatseeking missles, and are fucking INVISIBLE so even if the missiles do catch up they will be like WTF NO HEAT and die. (This doesn't make sense, but it's EA, so come on.) Then there's like ROFLNUKES and shit which are really retarded. You have like 800 different ways of droping bombs on your opponent so you know full well they'll never be able to attack you, even with your shitty ass turrets, and then its like NUKE LAWL and their entire base just dies. If it didn't send you asshole planes do finish the job. Fucking ridiculous.
Anyways I played the game a bit more. I'm thinking that maybe since the basic infantry (Missile newbs and Rifle newbs) are dirt cheap it's possible to mass them and (possibly) kill tanks with missile newbs. They still have to camp in buildings which is retarded but... sigh w/e
I really don't wonder why IC.Shadow left.
So then there's the "Hero" for GDI which is a fuckload worse than what they were in Generals/ZH because they were actually cool and effective in those games. The unit movement seems sluggish, and while I realize yes tanks need to turn and shit, it's really annoying when your fucking units wont go where you tell them to because they're busy peeling out and doing giant donuts in the parking lot. You can't even fucking play Nod or Scrin so we have no fucking clue if the races are even fun. "LOL GUYZ ITS A MYSTERY SO THEY'LL BUY OUR TEH GAME EVEN THO IT SUXZ LOLZ!" Then there's the terrible voice acting but the saving grace is Jennifer Morrison who is <3. But even she is plagued with the fact that the script EA handed her is terrible so I feel ashamed to have to watch her spit idiotic-ass lines. Then there's the EA-trademark of having like 3 upgrades that do stupid ass shit for like 3 units. Hey guys we have like 8 upgrades for your Zone Troopers and one for the (I guarantee is) imbalanced-ass bomber planes.
I still don't like their design of air units since they have that supid-ass "superweapon" feel where you just right click some fucking building, but instead of superweapons which have big ass OMG COOLDOWN markers covering your screen you have to keep checking back to see if your aircraft are worth a damn (read: refueled) yet. Air is pathetic because it's like "Hey guys I nuked part of your army" or "Oh shit a turret fucking raped my 6000 gold investment in this piece of shit airplane" Then there's the glory of APC+Some kind of gay infantry, which is typically Zone Troopers who fucking rape except a group of 4 cost more than a damn Predator Tank and yet have 8000 upgrades that do jack shit.
HEY GUYS I CAN HEAL FOR THE COST OF LIKE 23849723984 MONEY! OMG and detection! It's like they want us to rely on this tier 4 infantry piece of shit that certainly owns but what the fuck. They're effective against Tanks yet can be run over by them really fucking easily. I mean you look at how fucking gay cloaked Snipers and Land Mines are and you have to realize the game revolves around the fucking tier 300 units because you can't even stop towers from going up so it's like "HEY GUYS I PREBUILT A TOWER in 5 seconds!" and then it's like THERE and you're fucked. Units take so damn long to get across the map compared to how long they take to build it's like "HAY GUYS SUPERWAPNOS LOL." So then comes the point of "WE'RE GIVING YOU MAMMOTH TANKS SO IT MIGHT BE FUN?" Really? Fucking really? That was so damn clever EA! You 1. Gave a piece of shit line to a gorgeous actress whom I'm sure puked after her role was done for the day, and 2. MADE A CLEVAR JOKE ABOUT HOW WE'RE PLAYING A VIDEO GAME. And yet you ruined the atmosphere I thought they actually did a decent job (bar the shitty voice acting of the Asian chick, though she is cute) creating. And what the fuck? We can spend 3000 fucking dollars worth of dilithium crystals or whatever the fuck your stupid resource is called to let our tier 4 infantry heal, but NO! None of the rest of the infantry can heal! And what the fuck? They come in random groups of like 9 or 24 or 2. Why not just fucking make the infantry come out either a) 1 at a time, or b) in equal fucking groups? You can't just fucking make each individual one better? Or is your shitty "LOL GROUPS" thing so we can identify the fucking equivalent looking worthless ass Infantry units. I mean holy shit, how original! Maybe make the units actually distinguishable and big enough to actually see! Oh no! So they're only 1/10 as big as a tank and not 1/100 whatever could I have been thinking! Oh wait! You could make up some bullshit (considering this is all about some fucking raised-from-the-dead Kain asshole and fucking SPACE ALIENS and some random ass DILITHIUM-STARTREK-FUCKING-CRSYTALS) about how their armor is really big, or they've grown, or the Tanks are just small because they're covered in DILITHIUM-FUCKING-ARMOR!. I don't care, but your system sucks. So anyways as I was saying you can't fucking heal your worthless-ass infantry which further makes me hate you (all of you, not just EA) because it's like "Holy shit!
Not only do they suck, but if they somehow win a battle, they're fucked!" so again it just promotes boring ass turtleteching and LOLSUPERWEAPONAIRPLANTESZ and LOLSUPERWEAPONMAMMOTHTANKSZ! LOL GUYZ RAILGUNS on my tanks, even though they don't look fucking different afterwards so it's like "wow guys I just made myself make even more of the same unit since I just made them better." THere's no counter system its just who can make the most fucking homo-erotic phallic-symbol tanks and planes and ION CANNONZ! This is the story of why this game sucks.
I pressed enter some.
Nod is even more poorly designed. Their turret system, while different, blows ass. HEY GUYS each individual turret not only sucks ass, but in fact all you really have to do is kill some stupid fucking "Hub" jackass that has like 3 hp. I don't even care if they grow back, they're terrible. I'll use them to raise veterancy on my units (which doesn't seem to appear in the Skirmishes afaik). But it's like HAY GUYS A GROUP OF 8 RIFLEMEN! Woot, they're good against (OMG!) Other Infantry! So this piece of shit owns other pieces of shit! Woot! It's pretty much a defensive tower since all they're actually good for is "OH SHIT INFANTRY let me make some Riflemen from my HaNDoFNoD!" or "LOL I'm camping in this building" - again promoting turtling. Then the rest of the infantry are fucking terrible. Missile guys are like one of two decent units. They beat the shitty small tanks early so ok that's decent, and the flamethrower kids are okay since they fucking own garrisoned infantry (lol I cracked ur turtle shell). Then what the fuck, cloaked flying snipers. How retarded is that. They also can't get shot by missles for some reason because of their cloaking shit. I dunno. Too bad they don't deal like any damage to buildings, so their stupid ass "LOL BOMBS" ability sucks complete ass. Yes! Let's run fucking SNIPERS up to a building to deal 20% damage! WOOOOOOOOOOT! So anyway how fucking stupid is that WALKER TANK! LOL GUYS I ATE 5000 DOLLARS WORTH OF UNITS and now I'm still going to get my shit packed by like 3 bomber planes. Then those bomber planes are going to kill the rest of my army because they can't be hit, move faster than fucking heatseeking missles, and are fucking INVISIBLE so even if the missiles do catch up they will be like WTF NO HEAT and die. (This doesn't make sense, but it's EA, so come on.) Then there's like ROFLNUKES and shit which are really retarded. You have like 800 different ways of droping bombs on your opponent so you know full well they'll never be able to attack you, even with your shitty ass turrets, and then its like NUKE LAWL and their entire base just dies. If it didn't send you asshole planes do finish the job. Fucking ridiculous.
Anyways I played the game a bit more. I'm thinking that maybe since the basic infantry (Missile newbs and Rifle newbs) are dirt cheap it's possible to mass them and (possibly) kill tanks with missile newbs. They still have to camp in buildings which is retarded but... sigh w/e
I really don't wonder why IC.Shadow left.