Need facts on book

[CombatDoc101]

http://www.starcraft.org/generated/series/434/untitled.JPG Saints of War
Hero: person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life: soldiers and nurses who were heroes in an unpopular war.

After WW2, the U.S government engages in time travel. They send three men of the 82nd Airborne Division. They are armed and thrown in the time machine. A time distortion causes the men to be thrown forward, through time and space. They end up on Antiga Prime, during the attack on the Confederate base.

A true hero does not want to be recoginized for his or her actions. They want the actions of their buddies to be seen first before their own are but in record.
Post a note for me and spread the word. I've written an alternate about Starcraft!
Website address:
http://www.starcraft.org/fanfiction/Serials/Saints+at+War%3A+Chapter+One


One more thing: Tell me how to fix it and I'll work on it.

Just don't 'rape' my book: I mean by insulting the book!

[Zeltaris]

Heh, as soon I saw this thread's title, I came rushing over in hopes of reporting some newbie's misplaced thread to hell. My mistake :P

[Reading your fanfic at the moment, I'll post my thoughts when I'm done :D]

[CombatDoc101]

You do that and you'll have be prepped for surgery after I'm through with you.

I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

Or am I?

:shiftyl: :shiftyr: :shiftyl: :shiftyr:

With respect
CombatDoc101

[PrestonBurke]

The thing i disliked about the first chapter was that they were "too well prepared" for the future. It just doesnt make any sense that they fit in with Lt.Kerrigan so quickly.

I would imagine the paratroopers losing there 60 pound gear in the process of time travel and waking up in a middle of a firefight.

They got too friendly with the CO too fast, and they seemed really relaxed as if they were in a MASH.

Plus the part were he access the computer doesnt make any sense to me, you should make it so that the Paratroopers seem more caveman like to the modern world.

[CombatDoc101]

well I've gotten the upgrades in on chapter one done in twenty minutes.

Give me chapter two next.

most wars are nothing but blood and guts. I just happen to go the other way. A bit more humor.

So i decieded to approach it from a humorous point of view. May be the only dumb SOB to do it. But hey! War is hell! My dad told me that from Vietnam! And I may end up serving in Iraq so what the hell? I'll write up this book anyway!

[PrestonBurke]

I'm on Chapter Two, and i'm wondering if M4 Carbines and Kevlar Vests are too primitive to use in the 22nd century? Either use the Marine Gauss rifle (Which would be like the size of a Browning Automatic Machine Gun to the Paratroopers) or have them rely on there training fending themselves off with Tommy guns or springfield rifles.

Could you explain the timeline of this story to me? I'm geussing Fireteam Alpha, (and later dog company) happened to time shift on Antiga Prime during the Antigan revolt when Lt.Kerrigan and Raynor were mustering forces to fight the confedrates. But this happened after the 23rd century and your story takes place in the 22nd century. (2199 if i recall correctly, and according to the starcraft manual thing Humans didnt even colonize into space after 2229.) So i'm a bit baffled, but then again, when i read i dont read every single word, but i have a tendency to skim through sentences.

Well its a intreasting plot and it defintlatley catched my eye, but it seems to lack detail and reasoning for things. Sorry if it sounds like i'm raping your novel.

[CombatDoc101]

man you are talking to a man who nearly died of a stroke at the age sixteen. My parents divorced at the age of seventeen and my girlfriend broke up with me three days ago. You call that raping!

HA! HAHAHAHA!
I mean just flat out saying the book stinks! You're just striking the outline!

nah! Kevlar vest: is a more of a priminitve form of armor but you know Mengsk! Take and take and give the best to the marines! Better than using a Tommy gun! M4 may be primitive but, they're working with the best they've gotten!

OK! I tip my helmet to you for telling me that interesting piece of history.

The story is this: The year is 1943 and the war is going either way. It appears that Hitler may win through in Anizo and defeat the Allied forces in Italy. So the government sends three men back in time to kill Hitler in his rise to power.
But the generator overloads and sends the guys to the future. They land on Mar Sara and find Kerrigan. After a brief interview they head up to the battlecruiser and they move in with Kerrigan's room.
Long story short: Doc finds his daughter on Antiga Prime and saves her life from an arty barrage. He nearly dies several more times.
Brotherhood and commradeship are major points of this book. They save those they know are beyond even caring for. The last chapter, when Kerrigan is staring down a drone, the Men of third squad and the only upgunned sherman (and uparmored) save her and hold off the Zerg for about three minutes.
Trust me, three minutes could mean the difference between life and death. I've been there at least once with my stroke.


And one more thing: Fireteam Alpha? Come on! Call them the name they were forced to follow! Dog company! Please don't remind me of Doom 3.

OK M4 Carbine: A weapon made in the late 23rd century by The Kel-Morian Combine. Unusual weapon and was built to be considered to be inferior. Had a smaller but more deadlier clip of (I have no idea what the carbine is on the bullet right now.) They made a large number of these but most were captured by the Confederacy and recovered by Mengsk. He's stored them in the Armory for better use.

Kevlar Armor: Made of.... Kevlar and reinforced with bits of marine armor and has a Biological and can stand up to the standard forty-five caliber rounds. Does shit with the rest of the rounds.

Susan: She's the daughter of Doc and was 'transported' to Antiga Prime. She was forced into the Ghost training program and her soul was nearly crushed when she was put in the classifed program.

Jeez, you idiot you've got me crying! My girlfirend was just like her and I promised her that I would put her in. What on earth is your deal?

The drug they put in her reacted with the pisonic ability within her and created a monster. the 'monster' Killed off the garrision and then Susan killed the beast. She was left for dead when Doc and the rest of the gang showed up.

Doc patched up her wounds and she was put on the battlecrusier to rest up. But I thank you for what you said, I need to edit my book to put in some more time with the keyes together.

Semper fi fellow writer! See ya in Post op (email me chapter three review)

[PrestonBurke]

man you are talking to a man who nearly died of a stroke at the age sixteen. My parents divorced at the age of seventeen and my girlfriend broke up with me three days ago. You call that raping!
.....
And one more thing: Fireteam Alpha? Come on! Call them the name they were forced to follow! Dog company! Please don't remind me of Doom 3.
Well the reconassince force that was sent first is too small to be considered a "company". Thats why i called them Fireteam Alpha (Fireteam equals 4 or less people. Lead by a Corporal or Seargent, usually made up of a Gernadier, Machine Gun, and two riflemen. In your Saints of War story you have two riflemen and a combat medic.). The second force that the Colonel sent would be large enough to be a Company (I'm geussing thats around hundred soilders). I havent played Doom 3 so i didn't know that "FireTeam Alpha" was a reference from that game.

Semper fi fellow writer!
Hardly. I try to write for leisure, but just cant seem to find the motivation. My friends say i have good ideas, but i just cant seem to get them out on paper. I geuss School has screwed up my sense of creativty, been writing a lot of Social Science papers. I literally have half a dozen half assed intros to stories that i know i would never bother to finish. I just geuss writing isnt my thing, but medical sciences is.

[CombatDoc101]

First quote: Really happened to me: I spent two hours in a tub, watching my whole life flash past my eyes. I throught that I was going to die! By raping I meant that my book's alright! just saying that it's stupid get's to me. But you seem to like it so I won't go hard on ya.

Second quote: I wasn't thinking about the small team with doc and the two riflemen. You got me there. Nah they're called Fireteam Bravo.

"Yes I know! You're one short of the big time!"

For the company I have a message from Colonel Clink:

"That's correct!"

hey I believe in humor should be a major part of war! Trust me: MASH helped me through some bad times! I remind myself of Radar, you know the child within.

Third Quote:
Hey I'm still in High school and I'm a regular B student. Sure I was a crackup during my freshman year but I still got through with a B+! I don't have any decent advice for you but try the best you can|

You also seem familar: You know a guy by the name of X9?

[CombatDoc101]

I looked over chapter three and i found a few problems.

1) needs some explanation over the Brits arrival and what happened after and their linkup with the Yanks.

2) Caveman again with the radio and machine guns. But they soon get it right in a few seconds.

3) I'm not sure about the losses, I've put them at small becuase most of the men are important and cannot be spared.

4) I'm not sure why but this topic has shown me some problems with the book! Thank you doc!:D

Semper Fi!

[CombatDoc101]

ok! Now that the first book is finished: tell me how it is.

If I missed anything tell me and I'll fix the problem.

Thanks!

CombatDoc101