1000 ridiculous ways to kill someone

[Gunmonk]

ooooohh I got a better one than that! sharpen a million pieces of paper and cut them with it until they die

[Sento]

lock them in a dark room with Apostolos and a knife.. wait... did i say that already?

[Gunmonk]

how about I lock them in a room with you in the IR

[Sento]

use every single idea mentioned here at once

[Gunmonk]

or use something original like an uttorent

[Sento]

put them between Zerg_Eater and Apostolos

[Gunmonk]

put them in one of our love triangles with you zergeater and apostolos

[Sento]

it wouldn't be a love triangle.. mroe of a 1 on 1 with a spectator... who has the popcorn?

stick them.. somewhere

[Gunmonk]

stick them in your room

[Sento]

and why would i do that? i don't want blood all over my new PC

feed them to a barrel of maggots

[Gunmonk]

let me deal with them

[apostolos]

Hear Gunmonk and Sento sharing their ideas with us.

[Gunmonk]

let them read what worthless dribble you've posted

[Sento]

listen to gunMonk flame you (that's a good way to cause suicide right there)

[apostolos]

While infested Kerri is about,pee on her.She will get so angry,that she'll kill the first person she sees.

[Sento]

hopefully you aren't the first person she sees...

hit on infested Kerrigen... ouch, rejected AND stabbed

[Zerg_eater]

look at kongurous face...FOREVER!!!1

[Gunmonk]

I burn you to a crisp with my amazing flames

[DemonKelec]

1.get the biggest plane
2.trap bunch of people
3.get a video camara
4.friend drive
5. and watch
http://www.webdesign.org/img_articles/6716/finish.jpg

[Gunmonk]

or I throw them in the plane with you

[Zerg_eater]

Petanance stare

[Dark_hunter4]

Make them say something with incredibly horrible grammar infront of a grammar teacher, especially mine :shiftyl:.

[apostolos]

Call a hydralisk and tell it to do what it did to that poor marine in the BW intro.:samurai:

[Kellanved]

Tie a man up and force so much water down his throat that he dies of acidity.

[Gunmonk]

do this to them: :_poke:
or this: :chuckball
or this: :chair:
or this: :samurai:
or this::twak:
or this: :smash:
and lastly my favoritte one: :_papple::banana::alcoholic:_owned::ninjar:

[Kellanved]

Tell the man to stand in line behind a japanese samurai who's killing himself out of honour.

[ClintonM]

... Like in James Bond, they old guy and evil girl are "making love" and the girl squeezes him so hard he dies of Suffocation.

[Gunmonk]

or I could use my ten guage and melee hium with it. (no ammo wasted)

[apostolos]

Boil his testicles.

[Zerg_eater]

One night mushrooms

[Dark_hunter4]

Stab them to death with a paper plate.

[Borgorb]

grind them from the feet up with sandpaper

[Magmaniac]

Push them off of the corporate ladder.

[apostolos]

Send them to the Amazon jungle for a year.

[Magmaniac]

Send them to the concrete jungle for a year.

[apostolos]

Turn them into myths and call the Mythbusters,to bust them.

[Kellanved]

Tie them up, drug them up, and tickle their feet for days. Let one arm loose and give it access to a hammer so eventually they'll just have to bash their own head in. Of course they'll make several attempts to throw it at you and knock you out, but if you tied them like a pro, you can just wake back up later, give them back the hammer and resume tickling their feet. Eventually they'll get sick of knocking you out, and decide to just fucking do themselves in with the hammer.

[Dark_hunter4]

Continually bash them with with bricks.

[TheOutcast]

Howabout you stab your mom and she gets mad ans stabs you back....

[Dark_hunter4]

Stab them with a blade of grass.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Pimp smack them till they bleed

[apostolos]

Call me.

[Dark_hunter4]

Make them spend their entire day tied up to where they can't move, and let me have some fun. *evil laughter*

[Jimmy_the_saint]

To TPAM........thats just fucking gross.

Make them eat keyboard peripherals

[Dark_hunter4]

Nothing sexual... I meant as some call it, "Enhanced Interrigation Methods", get your damn mind out of the gutter, or better yet, put them in your mind.

[Galiant]

Make em watch Loituma over and over again

[Dark_hunter4]

Make them try to figure me out.

[TheOutcast]

Get that naked chick of Elfen Lied with the six (-ish) invisible arms to bitch slap them!!!!!

[apostolos]

Use zomg Zergling rush rulez to own their ass in RL

[Dark_hunter4]

Make them read every post in every thread on WB, with no breaks.

[Borgorb]

screw the reading
smashe ther head into the computer then stab them with plastic spears until they die

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Just freaking kill them.......after reading most of these posts it seems the most ridiculas.

[Dark_hunter4]

Throw random large objects at them until they die.

[DarkMirror]

Just freaking kill them. . . FOREVER!

[apostolos]

Fart when they open their mouth

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Fart when they open their mouth

That wouldnt kill them.......i mean it might gross them out a bit but it wouldnt kill them although my post would........

Make them eat raw chicken meat that has the most potent form of Salmonella and then give them typhoid.

[Galiant]

Tie them to a chair and tape their eyes open and make em watch Teletubies

[FyrDemon]

Tie em to a chair, glue open their eyelids, and force them to watch gal609's Anime vid... creepy lol

[Zerg_eater]

send in this retard named blaze in a room to be his friend...FOREVER

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Put him in a room wit you......acctually in he same solar system as you.
(im undead)

[FyrDemon]

Give em acupuncture (spelling?) with 1000+ Bendy Straws, pour a sugary substance down the straws, put enraged army ants in each bendy straw, then light each bendy straw on fire at the tips then watch the hilarity... this kinda seems a little bit thought out too much... (i gotta try this to someone)

[FyrDemon]

Fart when they open their mouth

By the way, if this would kill a human being, then it is by FAR... the most ridiculous way a person could die....

sry for x2 posting

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Send them into space where the xenomorphs live.

[Galiant]

Send Radioactive monkeys to rape them your mother and him/her

[apostolos]

By the way, if this would kill a human being, then it is by FAR... the most ridiculous way a person could die....

sry for x2 posting
If you have eaten about 20 eggs and do big farts,then he dies from poisoning(and his mouth can be made toilet for you to lay crap after the killer-fart).:D

[DarkGunner]

put them on mars and watch the alien kill them

[Jimmy_the_saint]

kill them. JUST DO IT!

[Galiant]

kill them. JUST DO IT!

YEAH! JUST KILL THEIR FUCKING SHIT!

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Make them watch hat criminal fucked up video of galiants.

[apostolos]

Ask JTS to bless you for 2 times

[Galiant]

Ban him from the internet forevah!!!!!!

[BludSyko]

Run 'em over with a parked car.

Give 'em heat-stroke with a blow dryer.

Electricute 'em with a 9-volt battery.

Give a hemophiliac a paper cut.

[ZeratulStukov]

put a hose in his ass and pump 100 litres of hot water :D

When he walks on the street, come with a helicopter and throw a cow at him

dress him in red and put him in a cage with 10 bulls

[BludSyko]

Make a guy watch 100 hours of the Lifetime and WE channels (don't you like a slow, painful death?)

Get hit by a meteorite the size of a grain of sand.

Get hit by the free-falling bullet from a starter gun.

Die of starvation because you got addicted to a new game and forgot to eat.

[Galiant]

Make em watch me and Haruhi get down and dirty while he sits on a chair tied up and died from envy

[TheOutcast]

Make them watch Indiana Jones day after day! Then their minds explode with gayness......

[Sento]

gayness from Indiana? uh.. no you get that from barney or those accursed.. things from sesame street.. anywayz

stick an everburning grain of sand in their mouth and wait for it to burn it's way down to his foot. Repeat until victim is dead

[tremaparagon]

Make them sit down and watch all 52 episodes of Destinos non-stop. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, reps for them and pm me.

[Zerg_eater]

Shoot them with a rocket launcher

[InfinityComplex]

Throw a chopstick at their ear, then punching in the chopstick when it lands in the ear.

[pytum]

make them eat a pound of salt

[tremaparagon]

make them eat a pound of opium

[TheOutcast]

Make them go to my school. You would slit your wrists just get away from here....

[SolidSamurai]

Inspire them to commit auto erotic suicide.

[pytum]

make them eat their crap everytime they have to go to the bathroom

[Jimmy_the_saint]

make them eat their crap everytime they have to go to the bathroom

that wouldnt kill them. Make them incredibly grossed out but not kill them.


Make them have sex with you. AIDS <<*cough*invisitext*cough*

[ZeratulStukov]

make them watch crappy Naruto (bleah) a few hours until they beg you to stop and then make them watch more crappy Naruto... (i'm not an Anime hater, but I simply hate Naruto Only)

make them eat a chunk of Uranium as big as a baby's fist
Throw crap and grenades at them :)
Tie them to a bed, unable to move, and put a completely naked and beautiful girl (from 20 to 30 y.o.) near them :) :) :)

[SolidSamurai]

"I know of 230 ways to kill a man."

Tape a jar to their ear with a black rat in it, and heat the jar so that the rat has to run through their ear socket and eat their way out to survive?

"... 231."

Use water torture until they bleed out the ears from stress.

[tremaparagon]

Skewer them with ninja stars.
Since ZeratulStukov doesn't like Naruto, I'll make them ninjew stars.
Shuriken but shaped like the Star of David.

[West]

ooh i got the #340 way to kill someone
1) kidnap the person
2) tie them up with handkerchief in mouth
3) cut out their tounge, then their fingers
4) dump them in a forest

oh... too gruesome.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Get them to roll in cow blood and then shove a dildo up a mother bears ass while getting in between the cub and her.

[pytum]

make them smell vomit or farts everytime they have finished eating

[SolidSamurai]

Drown them, defribilate them, drown them again, defribilate them again, drown them again, defribilate them again, punch their stomache enough that they vomit blood, make them eat the vomit, make them watch 2 girls one finger, make them eat the new vomit, make (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZHGS8qhpZSc&feature=related) them (http://youtube.com/watch?v=nOn1htjSZic) watch (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ggaWaK5d23Y) this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=JJHZeIVexlE), and then stomache punch them again, feed them sleeping pills, stuff them in a sleeping bag, and then throw them on the highway. If they survive, shake their hand, and then tie them to a drug dealing squatter until an incident involving said thing occurs on the news. Then beat them with a broken muffler, or FIRE UR LAZAR at them.

[ZeratulStukov]

Put them in a room with 20 nimfomaniac hot girls, but before this, cut their penis, fingers and tongue off :)))))))))))))))))

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Put them in a room with 20 nimfomaniac hot girls, but before this, cut their penis, fingers and tongue off :)))))))))))))))))

Forgot Toes. :P


Get some stuff and make them do stuff with it until they die.
Or make them stick their wang into an electrical socket

[ZeratulStukov]

Make them have sex with Kerrigan... or Edmund Duke :))

[tremaparagon]

Make them pee into a machine that automatically uses Chinese "Water" Torture, except with... well you know.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Make them eat Doughboy stuff until they die.

[West]

cut off their toes and make them eat it.

[pytum]

eat at mcdonalds for the rest of their lives, no matter what

[ZeratulStukov]

that wouldn't kill them... they'll be very fat and happy but not dead ;)

[DarkMirror]

Heart attack from fatty foods, dude. They did a study on it.

[pytum]

having them playing the first time halo 3 in legendary without any bomb and without food, water and bathroom

[SolidSamurai]

Shove them into the pit of an outhouse. Maintain a fair distance of a dozen or so meters from the outhouse in a makeshift shack for a few months. If you see them escape, bring out the high powered rifle with scope, and that'll take care of them.

[RedSpectre]

Getting beat to death by an old grandma and her walker
Getting stabed to death by a paper clip

[SolidSamurai]

Getting poked hard in the eye, prior to being injected with a powerful dose of bacteria carrying hemophilia.

[DoctorZettabyte]

Playing Portal as Gordon Freeman (Gravity Gun, no Portal Gun).

Headcrabs!

-DocTera

[tremaparagon]

Making them take the one ring to mordor without any help

[ZeratulStukov]

Make them be poked in the eye and between the legs by a crazy japanese stickman granny

[West]

umm... shove a one-size-too-big sausage up their ass until it goes into their intestine?

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Shove their own foot so far up their own ass they choke on it.

[pytum]

using a fork 'till death

[SolidSamurai]

Shoved in a washing machine and made so clean that they are cleansed of the bacteria they actually need to survive.

[pytum]

make him smell lime 'till death, and later, when he dies, cover him with lime in an old refrigerator and send it to a metal crusher or to a smelting furnace

[ZeratulStukov]

Shove carrots up his ass and then poke him in the eye :)

[pytum]

put in his/her ass a potato, so he/she couldnt go to the bathroom and then they die in a horrible way

[SolidSamurai]

Detoxify them until they detoxify what they need to live... or whatever.

[DoctorZettabyte]

Killing college guys is easy: Just force them to play Counter-Strike without caffeine. Fun fun fun.

-DocTera

[pytum]

make them eat coins, that would make them die by intoxication, or for an awful pain in the ass

[SolidSamurai]

Set up peanutbutterjelly banana dance mp3 and video file on looping replay, chain them to a cemented down chair in a large room, with epic amps and 80" high def 1080p.
Turn off lights, shut and lock room with thick sound proof doors. Play dancing banana video on high def and music at 80,000db. Pwned.

[tremaparagon]

Put them into an automatic potato peeler

[SolidSamurai]

Strap them to a smart car (for maximum exposure) with unbreakable plastic wire, and send them through a looping car wash.

Get a midjet to pillow suffocate them. The fact that it'd be a midjet doing it would be hilarious enough that they'd run out of air more efficiently whilst laughing.

Wet a towel, shove it down their throat and then yank it out again. They'll drown, suffocate, and vomit their organs all at once. Fun times!

Play fetch with a tyrannosaurus, with them as the stick. Utilization of hardware (like a trebuchet, ie.) might be necessary.

Host a class session, lock them in the class once the trick has been played and stab them 80 times; 30 in the stomache, 10 in the neck, 15 in the chest, 10 to the groine and 5 to the head. Or! Possibly, you could shoot them with an M-16; a full clip might do nicely. Or maybe stuff a wet towel down their throat with a grenade attached to it.
Or a strike to the head with a steel bat. Or, you could graduate as an MD, host their operation when they need it and rather than actually perform surgery, you'd instead just stab them a few dozen times with a scalpel and run.

Or you could tell them to 'watch out for mr. grey', and when they wonder who mr. grey is, you'd get your friend to run over them with a big-wheeled semi-trailer travelling at 60km/h. Then you'd both yell in the corpse's ear 'Mr. Grey repo and movers, bitch!' and have a hearty laugh together. And then carry on with business as usual.

[pytum]

make them eat the liquid of the lcd monitor of my PC

[DoctorZettabyte]

Make them swallow razor wire, pull the end out of their ass and floss 'em to death.

-DocTera

[SolidSamurai]

Use the electrolyte charge-an-ipod-with-an-onion strategy; have them grab the onion, then give them conductors, and then push them into a bathtub. If that doesn't work, add a few barrels of gatorade, and then throw in an old hooked up tv for good measure.

Sell them a UPs, but remove the warning lable. Somehow 'cause a power flicker in their home that lasts for a few minutes. Turn off their breaker when they aren't looking. Hopefully, their house'll burn down when power comes back on. Wait outside to torch them with a flamethrower if they escape.

[Zerg_eater]

give them chocolate....from 2girls...2 special girls

[FrankZ]

Gets constipated and poos his whole inside out.

[pytum]

make them eat a rope about 10 meters long, that goes thru their stomach, instestines and finally comes out their anus, and later 3 men, on each side of the rope, pull it out from both sides, until the victim has some wounds in his intestines and his stomach and mouth and finally he dies by hemorrhage

[FrankZ]

Make them swallow pytum's sword avatar, and burn them like the guy in SolidSamurai's siggy.

[Zerg_eater]

Show Them DZ's face

(no offense, just a joke)

[FrankZ]

Lure them into ZE cage of Zerglings.

[tzzA]

Getting smacked with a trout.

[FrankZ]

Get them beat up by my whatever.

[pytum]

make her a lot of orgasms 'till death

[FrankZ]

Suck her up and kill her with a leaf blower in reverse.

[West]

eat her. alive.

[Galiant]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hiRacdl02w4

make em watch that over and over and over and over and over.......

[FrankZ]

www.youfail.org

Make them eat that site alive. You fail life and everything~!

[pytum]

putting in an expansive dildo in her ass

[FrankZ]

Give them a vibe with an exploding battery.

[West]

@ Galiant
i think that video killed part of my brain..

make them eat a dead cow.

[FrankZ]

Kill WestDC and make them eat his carcass.

[West]

lol.

make them tie down the person they love the
most than force them to sacrifice him/her than
have an orgy in the loved person's blood with
a goat in the name of satan :D

[FrankZ]

^
l
l
l
l
That hurts but sounds good. Also, your signature says Merry Christmas, isn't it time for Happy New Year?

I'll make them eat my dog-- who's infested in fungi and fleas.

[West]

oh yeah thanx for they reminder :)

make them eat 1 ton of snow without stopping

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Make them eat ice until they shit ice.

[pytum]

fill her mouth with cum till her mouth explodes

[FrankZ]

Fill their mouth with orgasms, until it floods their stomach, and then make their body explode in mixed orgasm puffy and blood.

[pytum]

putting a dynamite in their asses to later use their own instestines to hang their necks

[FrankZ]

Insert grenades to their mouth, tape with packaging tape. After it explodes, take a part of their brain, make it boil, and burn them with it!!

[Galiant]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4&eur

make em watch that. eventually. the song will be stuck in their heads and they would do anything to get rid of that song in their head like killing themselves.

elektronik, supersonik, supersonik, elektronik....

[FrankZ]

Make them stare at Galiant609's supposed-to-be moving Avatar.

[Galiant]

Make them stare at Galiant609's supposed-to-be moving Avatar.

It will soon move...

Make em eat shiet

[pytum]

put acid in their drinks

[MajorSonnwaitts]

make them to play the Uter Party's hot mortar minigame using real mortal mortar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4&eur

make em watch that. eventually. the song will be stuck in their heads and they would do anything to get rid of that song in their head like killing themselves.

elektronik, supersonik, supersonik, elektronik....Thanks galiant, for it, I blew my own head!!!

[masterofhobbiton]

I suggest picking out their internal organs through their throat with chopsticks.


I believe galiant's method works. o_O

>_<

.....





>_<

[ZeratulStukov]

Make them listen to Britney Spears' songs for 30 minutes... They will SURELY die

[tzzA]

force them to listen to (c)rap for more than 17.5 miliseconds.

[pytum]

put them in a pool full of hungry crocodiles wearing iron boots

[Zerg_eater]

play the badger song over and over and over and over and over and over and over...and.. over...again

[tzzA]

make them read all of ZE's posts in random order.

[migidu]

write his name in the deathnote !:D

[ZeratulStukov]

a bit off-topic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4&eur

LOOOOL... The song is cool, except that the guy doesn't know english :D
"Downcount (Countdown)"
"Off-blast (Blast-off)"
"My blue jeans is tight"
"Come baby, we doesn't have much time"
"You no need put money in my pocket"

[DarkMirror]

play the badger song over and over and over and over and over and over and over...and.. over...againBadger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!

So funny. Anyways, tie them to a stake, put it next to a termite hive, and cover them in honey.

[Polkaman]

Make them eat 5000 punds of phonebooks!!!

[DarkMirror]

Get some certain types of wasps to confuse them with prey after tying them down. The wasps will thens sting them. Anyone familiar with wasps will know what these certain types do. Think of the Alien movies.

Not pleasant in the slightest.

[DoctorZettabyte]

Feed 'em to Fenguin. I'm not sure of the effects myself, as Fenguin was gone when I arrived, but I've heard it gets somewhat...interesting.

-DocTera

[pytum]

put acid in their apple juice and snake's poison in their grape juice

[Galiant]

tie them to a chair while you play SC2. They'll be so envious their brains will explode for no apparent reason

[Blackwater]

Drop kicking them into the Sparta endless pit of death.

(And then you falling and hitting your head on the side of the pit, falling in yourself [LOL])

[VigilanteV]

MADNESSing them to death.

[SolidSamurai]

Force them to have sex with 800 continuously horny women repeatedly. In a small chamber locked and bolted from the outside with many layers of thick bulletproof glass. If they don't die from being smothered to death with 800 women (albeit hot women) cramming up the space, then they die from over exertion after maybe 2 weeks at the most.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Make them to see an Olsen twins movies marathon 'til they die.

[SolidSamurai]

Make them watch Steve Balmer perform until they BECOME Steve Balmer. And then a google assassin will kill them.

[migidu]

make them drink pepsi max no sugar and a big pepsi max can crushes them.

[SolidSamurai]

Huh?

Bombard them with so many questions that they will go insane attempting to seek the answer because the answer lies only in the meta universe of one's brooding mind rather then real life. Then have them startle cops into shooting them during a drug raid so that the cops lose points (-100 points for every innocent death of a hostage).

[pytum]

put some dinamyte in their asses while drinking glicerine with sugar and pepsi while seeing how their momw are getting fucked by their ears and asses... and after a few minutes... BOOM

[Observer]

stick an everburning grain of sand in their mouth and wait for it to burn it's way down to his foot. Repeat until victim is dead.
You must have gotten that from Eragon!

Get their head chopped off with some paper knife

Disguise a cliff so you can't see the edge of it, and put a red line there. Then take a person, oh, maybe ten meters away from the cliff (make sure he never saw it). Tell him if he can get to the red line before you do, you will give him $100 000 000 (One hundred million dollars) in prize money. Make sure he wins. He will be going too fast to stop exactly at the red line.

Make a person laugh very long and very hard.

[Polkaman]

Make them watch Family Guy; CLOSED CAPTIONED

[ZeratulStukov]

Make them watch Family Guy; CLOSED CAPTIONED

You're a fag! Family Guy owns you! Period!

Make them read all Basan's post in 1 hour OR
Make them play World of Warcraft for 2 hours... they'll go crazy and slice off their heads

[Galiant]

Make them memorize the song and the tune of this video:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gxkuYeERt1c

But you give credit to the old man! The song's catchy!

[Polkaman]

You're a fag! Family Guy owns you! Period!
Lolz. Closed Captioned
OMG

Make them play one of zeratul's maps...:cool:

[ZeratulStukov]

Make them play one of zeratul's maps...
That won't kill them... they'll just have their brain mixed somehow and huge head-aches, but won't kill them...

Make them play one of patrickdlbackup's maps :))) He's over at sc.org submitting nasty maps with a shitty-grammar... that'll surely kill them.

[SolidSamurai]

Make them shit grammar from their ears.

Make them listen to their fathers, and their forefathers, and the forefathers before them and.... so on. Until their craniums retract into their cerebellum, compress the spine into the stomach and pop the eardrums like so many little delicate lucky charms marshmallows.

Pop.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Make them to become into MajorSonnwaitts.
Too cool for them, so they kill themselves.

[migidu]

This is the best way. Get him on an island with all of the most beautiful women in the world. All his sexual desires are so satisfied that he can't believe all of it was so true that he stabbed himself to check if it was not a dream, and too bad it wasnt a dream, and there was no hospital around, and the fact that beautiful hot chicks were everywhere that his blood rushes so fast out of his body and died. pretty cool hu ?

[Polkaman]

This is the best way. Get him on an island with all of the most beautiful women in the world. All his sexual desires are so satisfied that he can't believe all of it was so true that he stabbed himself to check if it was not a dream, and too bad it wasnt a dream, and there was no hospital around, and the fact that beautiful hot chicks were everywhere that his blood rushes so fast out of his body and died. pretty cool hu ?

Dejavu...

Patric dl's games RULE!!!!!!!! (LoL)

Make them hump a tree and get splinters on their... Hand...

[pytum]

make her eat my... food and make her throw up till her teeth were bad enough to go to a dentist and use a drill on her damaged teeth to accidentally put said drill in her throat and later triturate her throat and finally she dies

[Polkaman]

Make them eat 50 pounds of corn, barf it up, repeat for 5,000 times, THEN play zeratuel's maps.

[Fiendwurm]

Bury them up to there neck in sand, smear jam over there faces, and disturb a very large ant colony next to them...:)

[Polkaman]

Disturb a beehive, put it in their pants, then get scorpians, drop them in their shirt, then make them read a book. (OMG)

[Galiant]

corn... Just corn...

[SolidSamurai]

Alright we get the picture galiant, you don't have to piece out the details, gosh.

Make them funnel gasoline while text messaging. Either they'll become too distracted and drown or spontaneously combust from electricity and gasoline going together. Have the elephant rifle ready in case they drop the phone.

[Polkaman]

Mkae them get a bunch of static electricity on them, then touch a gas chamber.

[DarkMirror]

Dihydrogen monoxide. So many ways for it to kill you...

[SolidSamurai]

Dousing their underwear, cologne, body wash, shampoo, pillow, blanket, massage oil and deodorant in butane and have them attempt to teach a four year old how to light a barbecue. Or, have them put out a candle light on a birthday cake with just one candle, using the tips of their fingers. Or both. Simultaneously.

Or buy them a titanium-edge driver style golf club, and when they say, "Hey man, thanks!" BAM! Right to the skull.

And then BAM! again. For insurance.

Then tell some random crazy office employee dude that there's little chocolate flavored skittles inside of them.

[Polkaman]

Choke their chicken.

[Tuxinator]

Choke their chicken.


Even better, Choke their chicken, and shove it down their throat (or up the ass, depends who)

[SolidSamurai]

Alright! *braces self*

FIRE IN THE HOLE

The world dies when the english language suddenly does not make sense causing everyone to have a mental cessation and begin speaking in tongues involving ZIPPY ZOODAGA ZOUNDERZOGGINZ OOOOOOYYYIIIPPPPITTTY YAAAAPPPPBBBBAAAADDDDAAAA KEEENG CHIIIING CHOOOONG CHOOOO NAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FOOOBAR TILLICIOUS HUNGCHAMA HING HING FIBBBITTTY DOO DANG BLIIIIIZZZZZNORANCE GUNKIIIIDORY MONNNNOOOMONNNECUUUULAAAAR YEEEEEEEEEERRRRRNNNNBBBBIIIIIEEEEEZZZZAAAAAAOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOWWOOOOO UH!!!!!!!!!!!!

UH.

GUNMONK

BEETBOX EXPLOSASM!

BOW CHICKA WOW WOW
GUITARHEROATHON!

END

AJ

DUNCHY DOUCHE

GUNMONK.

ONLY GUNKMONK REMAINS

THAT IS ALL FELLOWS

And so SolidSamurai went there and back again and thus wrote a book called 'there and back again' involving the slaying of many orcs and hamsters. And then he played eve online and blue his brains out. Not blew his brains out. Blue his brains out. The end.

Shoe.

Because friends, ninjas will never defeat you if you follow up with the art of setting yourself on fire like SolidSamurai has attempted many a time. And keep that butane tank in your closet for whenever you need it!

Goodnite kiddies! Don't let the bed bugs rape you.

Make them read every word of that. And then force them to type more illogical bullshit until their mind starts masturbating, thus killing them because they get caught up in a parallel universe of non-logic, which is the equivalent of being zapped to the fourth dimension, which kills you. Because god doesn't like it fellas.

[xodkrm]

Tie a person to a punching bag
blindfold the person
take two baseball bats, give one to a friend
and beat the guy down until every bone is broken
skin the person alive, slowly and not too much so that he does not bleed to death
kidnap the person's girl
un-blindfold the person and rape his gf, and then kill the girl
fill a bath tub with warm water and alot of salt
release the person from the punching bag, tie his hands and feet
put him into the tub
throw his dead gf on top of him

the person will drown in pain

[SolidSamurai]

Wow, okay.

Uh... why don't you just make them play a game of 'simon says, or that landmine we tied to you will go off'. The first thing they gotta do is copy everything that the animated fellow did in the music video for 'right now' by korn.

[QuothTheRaven]

Being mauled to death by vegitarians in a meat market with automatic assault rifles.
The pope dies from a heart attack during a sermon.

[Larkin]

Ok, here I go.

Being squished by your moma.

Beign sniped by a Grunt with a full-charge plasma at 10,000 yard.

Bear huged to death by smothering aunt.

Computer explosion due to RAM not beign able to handle Starcraft 2.

[pytum]

what about using some full soda cans and throw them to that person, while this person is being eaten alive by 2-inches acid-resistent ants with acid covering his body with his penis being cut by a female kanibal with a nailcutter

[SolidSamurai]

Ask them whether or not they know the truth about the coca-cola-in-toilet-bowl-is-an-efficient-cleaning-tool myth. If they don't, show them by pouring coca-cola into a smelly toilet. As they observe this supposed phenomenon, shove their head into the water and press down until they drown. Then flush a bunch of times, as if that solved anything (they do it in the movies).

If they know the truth, then BAM! Right to the head with that titanium-edged golf club. Get the janitor to do away with the body at gunpoint if necessary.

Another one: If you happen to be a closet-genie, grant them the ability to transform into a helicopter whenever they fart, for free. Eventually they'll have the uncontrollable urge to let off some methane, and when they do, they'll transform into a really bad ass looking helicopter. Of course, it'll also kill them, as the transformation would remove all internal bodily organs.

[FrankZ]

Die being sucked down into your toilet --> sewers --> shit dump --> waste treatment facility --> rotating blades at the waste treatment facility --> electromagnetic pulses at the waste treatment facility --> ultraviolet radiations in the waste treatment facility --> chemicals and boiling at the waste treatment facility --> out of the facility --> dirty soggy mold-infested pipes --> reusable water --> water tank in your house --> water flushed down the toilet --> back to the sewers and so on...

Life goes on man, and down the sewers for you..

[SolidSamurai]

*Kills FrankZ with elephant rifle and then finishes him off with golf club*

Mauled by zombies. In a mall. While screwing a hooker zombie. Wearing a g-string. Then shot in the head by some black cop with a shotgun.

[FrankZ]

Dies being kicked in the arse by some three-year-old ninja kid backed by fifteen ninja masters backed by twenty SWAT agents backed by one hundred Special Service Men backed by two thousand ancient soldiers backed by a hundred dinosaurs.

[SolidSamurai]

Give them a pet tyrannosaurus. When they play 'Go fetch!' in their backyard with the trex, the creature will bring back a human corpse, and they'll be all like 'No.... no!!! Bad.... bad dino! Put it... put it down.' The dinosaur will put the body down, but eat them instead. End of story.

[FrankZ]

Being LiquidSamurai'd

[Galiant]

fart on their mouth

[FrankZ]

Make them swallow a grenade then strap their mouths with packaging tape, run away, and let her rip.

[MattTheFighter]

Stick a sign on a guys back named Will and write "Fire At Will"

[FrankZ]

Make them put a hundred jack fruits up their asses.

[Observer]

Tell a fellow WarBoarder that Blizzard just scrapped Starcraft II.

[Nostradamus]

http://www.jonco48.com/blog/suicide3_small.jpg

[Jaxander]

Nice Nostradamus!

Being chased by two dozen topless women wearing skateboard helmets through the streets of London (w00t Monty Python!)

[Polkaman]

Make them suck it

[Hydralisk1337]

Make them fall 1 million feet into a lake.

[Mjolniir]

take'em hunting with cheney

[Hydralisk1337]

Make them crash into a INVISIBLE SHOPPING CART.

[Frattimonde]

ME naked

[Polkaman]

Frattimonde naked.
ok J/k

No SC2

[FrankZ]

Make them slip and land face-on a puddle of dog poop.

[Polkaman]

Make that dog poop cow poop

[FrankZ]

Die in constipation.

[SolidSamurai]

Ask them if they heard of cesium. Tell them to make a bomb using one of the most explosive elements known to man. Expect to know that they need to buy their own safety gear for the workplace. You probably know what happens next. Zomg, worksafe hazardz.

[FrankZ]

Make them inhale 3rd degree carbonmonoxide.

[SolidSamurai]

Make them inhale 3rd degree inflammable oil that ignites upon contact with soft surfaces, often causing severe 3rd degree burns. If they ask if you are in fact trying to kill them and write 'murder' off on your criminal record, say "Don't worry, it's INflammable."

[FrankZ]

Make them swallow a whole jackfruit. With their arses.

[SgtHK]

Drown them in cum

[FrankZ]

SARHENTO!

Ahem. Make them drown is spicy vaginal discharge.

[QuothTheRaven]

Aids revenge sex, could take few years to take effect though.

[Nostradamus]

http://www.twowordheap.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/1_840000.thumbnail.jpg

[FrankZ]

Make them swallow a whole can of Peturdis ƒienne (a chinese pussy lubricant, not edible).

[TheOutcast]

you are a loser thinking of a 1000 ways to kill some one and outcast is gay
Ummm..... Hello, do I know you?

[FrankZ]

you are a loser thinking of a 1000 ways to kill some one and outcast is gay

Hey, we don't appreciate motha fugga newbies who butt in places none of their fucking business kay? Piss off.

Here's to the game:
Bash a newbie juz like that.

[Anoiktos]

Most ridiculous?

Continually remind them they're not suicidal (and caution them against becoming such) until they prove you otherwise.

[ZeratulStukov]

Put a wasp in the underwear and then shoot them in the ass....

Put a knife in their ass.... and stick it there....

[DarkMirror]

The best way to kill someone is to give them a gun (Fully loaded), and put them in a glass box that has been buried underground. Equip it with a web camera and a light, as well as a ventilation system (All running off of a common battery).

Then send the CSI team the link to the web cameras page, and let the fun ensue.

[FrankZ]

Make them die in humiliation of having a dick the size of a pea.

[SgtHK]

Make them die in humiliation of having a dick the size of a pea.
Or shove into their ass a dick the size of a cannon :P

[TheOutcast]

Or shove into their ass a dick the size of a cannon

I hear if you kick someone in the balls hard enough, you could kill them.

Soo... Kick them in the pecker really hard.

[ZeratulStukov]

Make them die when they're put in a room with two hot-looking Nimfomaniac girls, and their penis is 4 cm long :o

[FrankZ]

Have them listen to a kid's whinings on multiple threads posted on the same day for no absolute purpose.

[ZeratulStukov]

Have them listen to a kid's whinings on multiple threads posted on the same day for no absolute purpose.

Are you somehow (obviously, yes) refering to me?

[FrankZ]

Are you somehow (obviously, yes) refering to me?

If you feel so, and guilty of it, then yes. I am referring to you. Why?

Make them eat dog chow.

[apostolos]

Make them play Starcraft with a 2-years-old South Korean.They will die in shame because they got OWNED by by a baby.

[Dem0nS1ayer]

Untie their shoelaces and watch them trip. :D

[WarInSerbia]

http://www.online-web-comics-galumph.com/Kill002.php