Corrupt a Wish!

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but you accidentaly activate your warp blade while you're using a urinal. Ouch.

I wish I were a couple of years younger.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, Buuuuuuuuut.............(paradox detected---Read previous posts on paradoxes)

I wish that I knew a better way to grant that wish then what I just did.

[apostolos]

Granted,but I corrupt it anyways.

I wish I had 300% more sex.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, 300% of 0% is still 0%.

I wish I was rich.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, You become fat, lazy, content, and weak. Everyone hates you and you die an immobile blob from a heart attack caused by your absurd luxury. The world rejoices.

I wish I knew what Rep was good for.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but you get it from the wrong people, and you get banned from WB for life.

I wish I had more rep.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but I get more rep than you...

I wish people were less stupid.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but now they are annoyingly smart.

I wish I knew if god(s) was/were real or not without dying.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, you read the Hitchhiker's Trilogy and learn all the answers through there like the rest of us. Way to waste a wish, you could've done that any time you wanted.

I wish for a fully functional arclite siege tank.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but you don't know how to use it and hit the self-destruct button (lol wtf?) on it and you ASPLODE!

I wish I had warp blades.

[Zerg_eater]

Granted, while using them, you trip and stab yourself

I wish elliot lee had some balls so i could kick them

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but he kicks you first, and then he pwns you with a shotgun.

I wish I could stop spinning boxes.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, you start spining metal cubes with razor blade edges and sharp pointy corners, enjoy.

I wish for a giant rock to throw at something.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, it appears over your house, crushing it, and you are too weak to pick it up.

I wish space-time paradoxes didn't exist.

[Polkaman]

Granted.. Now they dont...

I wish 10 was 2

[ForTheSwarm]

How did you corrupt my wish?

Granted, your age is now 2.

I wish I had a nice and insured house.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but it's haunted by the spirits of the Olsen Twins... oh wait, they aren't dead. Forget it then...

I wish I had a cheeseburger.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted......MAD COW DISEASE MAN!!!

I wish I knew how polkaman corrupted ForTheSwarm's wish.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted but the thought you put into it wasn't worth the effort and it drove you to insanity, therefore killing yourself to release you from the burden of it.

I wish for someone to corrupt my wish.

[Duddits]

Granted... A 5 ton concrete blcok falls on you

I wish I had more B33r

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, You drown in a gigantic vat of beer(Your Favorite Brand!!!).

I wish for an easily used 1337 to English(and Vice-versa) converter.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but you accidently use it on your final paper for English and fail the class.

I wish I had lots of rep.

[Duddits]

Granted... The entire Republican party comes to you house and worships you. You are assasinated.

I wish my bread wasn't moldy.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, now its rock hard.

I wish for moar sleep.

[Epyon94]

Granted now you never wake up.

I wish to I could stop wishing.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but to assist you, the administrators permenantly ban you from this thread. Never wish again!

I wish for a gigantic, invulnerable, non-intelligent, functional Mecha that I control and can climb into to use.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but I steal it while you are out of the mecha and use it to kill you.

I wish NoobOfLore wasn't a legendary Suxxor.

[Duddits]

Granted... Noobofllore > You

I wish for world peace

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, Now we all just live in crappy conditions and nobody is willing to do a damn thing about it.

I wish for a cool signature picture.

[Duddits]

Granted... The Internet crashes

I wish for Xray vision

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, you are arrested for giving people too much radiation.

I wish for a cooler signature.

[apostolos]

Granted,but it is so cool that you freeze.

I wish I ate sh1t

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, you get tapeworms from eating bear shit.

I wish for clown penis.

[Polkaman]

granted, its spray-painted white, considering you are mexican.

I wish my Modern Combat map would freaken work

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but no one likes it anyways.

I wish I could finish my maps in 1 second and still have them have the same quality as if I finished them in the normal time.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted...(I'm sorry, you just set yourself up there)but they suck as badly as your other ones.

I wish I had the ability to(controllably and choose-ably) Shoot lightning bolts from my hands.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted. But in a ridiculous turn of events, your wish triggered everything to turn to mirrors! Enjoy.

I wish my ankle didnt hurt =(

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, your face hurts.

I wish people were nicer.

[apostolos]

granted,but they are nice to everyone but you.

I wish I knew everything.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But all the information in the universe cannot be represented than anything less than the universe, so you become another, Identical universe, except without you.

I wish for a salami sandwich.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, it's rotten.

I wish I was the king everyone liked.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But sadly to you, you die of bubonic plague(you know there aren't kings around here anymore!)

I wish for a pop-tart....O wait, nevermind. Got one right here!

[BrotherGreen]

Granted?
But its rasberry, which is disgusting.

I wish I typed wrist instead of ankle on my last wish.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but your face still hurts.

I wish to be able to travel back in time to meet my past self, sending the universe into a paradox, making it asplode.

[Starcraft78cwal]

It asplodes, but automatically reverts to last save point, leaving the damaging variable out (you).

I wish people were more intelligent about keeping the environment clean.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, they realize that humans have caused nothing but trouble for the environment and create a virus that wipes us all out.

I wish that Brawl were as good as Melee.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but it already was, so you just wasted a wish.

I wish more people actually knew about the original Super Smash Brothers (which wasn't that bad by the standards then).

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but it is quickly banned by the Christian community for vulgar use of pineapples. Link screams like a girl because his pimp Mario shoved a pineapple up his ass for not paying up.

I wish to be the prophet of truth, hierarch of the covenant.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted...But moments after the wish is granted, you are turned into a martyr right after spreading the intended message of righteousness.

I wish this wish was unable to be corrupted.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but the only way for the wish to not be corrupted is if you never wished for it, sending the universe into a paradox, thereby destroying it.

I wish my wish was corrupted.

[apostolos]

Granted.Everyone hates you because you have a corrupted wish.

I wish people,including me,made more serious wishes than now.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted...This thread is no longer fun.

I wish I could find, get, and successfully use and preserve my Brood War CD

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but you suck at Starcraft, Starcraft mapping, and Starcraft modding. Also, you have no fun at any of those either.

I wish I was an inch taller.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but you are put under extreme scrutiny and have been dismissed at a mutant for growing a whole inch in one sitting. Lucky you.

I wish for a cool signature.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but it's so cool that people hack your account, and steal it, while getting you banned from WB.

I wish for a wish that got corrupted and turned agaisnt me, therefore sending me into eternal suffering through a corrupted wish.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But since you just asked for a wish that was corrupted, and requested a negative outcome from it, I'm afraid that nobody gets to answer your wish, and you are left waiting for nothing in particular.

I wish for Starcraft 2(the functional PC game) to be completed and available to the public(including me) right now.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but you are unable to install it on your computer.

I wish I was yo mamma.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted...But you die during delivery, Since you just gave birth to a 6-foot tall teenager.

(see previous wish)
I wish I had the best computer in the world, legally, and I am able to use it for StarCraft 2.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but someone steals it and uses it to hack all the nations' security. Everyone then blames you for letting that guy steal it.

I wish I was yo daddy.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but he hates you and kills you in his sleep.

I wish to create a swirling vortex of doom in the ocean, which drew all life on the planet to it, sending it into oblivion.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but the "plant" escapes and kills you for making it.

I wish I could control time.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted...But I'm afraid your tendency of making negative wishes and expecting us to corrupt them has caused me to not think of a way to corrupt this wish. So we all die.

I wish for an arm. Yes. Any arm. Anywhere.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but it is a gigantic arm that comes out your rear when you get hungry... and the pain of having a giantic arm come out that place makes you kill yourself.

Granted, but the "plant" escapes and kills you for making it.

I wish I could control time.

Sorry for my attrocious spelling, it was supposed to be planet :rolleyes:.


I wish for an evil plant that makes 'pew pew' a cool thing to say again.

[ForTheSwarm]

Sorry for my attrocious spelling, it was supposed to be planet :rolleyes:.

I know, just messing with ya. :P

Granted, but it soon becomes uncool again and everyone laughs at you.

I wish I knew what NoobOfLore meant.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But you'll find that the answer is not as interesting as you had hoped.
I was answering the wish before that, And you posted while I was already on the page, so we were both answering the same post.

I Wish for the ability to make my intentions and ideas heard to whoever I want, Whenever I WANT. And ONLY when I want to express them.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but you find no one wants to listen anyways.

I wish that Dark-Hunter4's corruption of Noob's hungry ass arm was true, because it made me rofl.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but he bleeds on you when it happens.

I wish for a better avatar.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, you get a protoss unit instead of zerg [ OH BURRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN]

I wish I could just listen to amazing songs all day.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But you have to play DDR while you listen and you end up failing badly and getting laughed at in public regularly.

I wish I had BrotherGreen's awesome avatar, which is better than mine.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but he sues you for stealing it.

I wish I was cool.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But coolness is short lived, and you are duped into taking drugs and live the rest of your life as a hobo. And then you get beaten to death by an angry police officer for no reason.

I wish This thread was more fun to play.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, now you won't live to see it.

I wish I was less bored.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but you are more ugly.

I wish this wish didn't have a loophole.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. No clever response for that one since there is no longer any problem.

I wish I for something with no negative or unpleasant results of which I will dislike or even know of, and which contains various things that I would enjoy noticeably.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but everyone you don't know or will ever know dies of a horrible disease. The population plummets, causing mass chaos. You don't know about it because you die right before news gets out of an unrelated car accident.

I wish that you will understand what I said.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but you were in the car accident. So you never got to feel triumph over him.


I wish for a new computer chair.

[Mattimeeleo]

Granted, but you were in the car accident. So you never got to feel triumph over him.


I wish for a new computer chair.


Granted... Your fat ass get stuck on the chair and die.

I wish for 10000000 more Reputation

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but we all know that only Tubes of Door can grant wishes so we all assume that you haxxed and you get permenantly banned from the internet, because the FBI caught on to your apparent hacking and have a constant eye over you.

I wish I wasn't Autistic... T.T

[Jaxander]

Whoa...do I want to even touch that?

I wish Noob's avvy wasn't trying to eat me.

[apostolos]

Granted, but he shoots you with a gun instead.Fortunately, you are still on the surface of Earth.

I wish Zeratul was real

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But he mistakes you for a terran general and chops your head off as you type your wish.

I wish I had a regular toaster.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but it doesn't work, and you take it to a repair shop that turns it into an evil man-eating toaster... thats creeping up on you know.

I wish I didn't break everything I touched.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, now everything you touch turns into poop, including yourself.

I wish that I was a Zergling.

[Duddits]

Granted... It is your final meal on death row

I wish I didn't have a pussy cat inmy lap.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, you know have a tiger that wants to kill you.

I wish for intelligence and long life, whatever the cost

[NoobOfLore]

Granted...But "long" is a relative term, so we turn you into a housefly* and you die tomorrow.

*an intelligent housfly

I wish that ZeratulStukov knew how to play my new game.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but he already did.

I wish you edited your first post.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but you never check back to see what it says.

I wish for a flamethrower.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but there are not clearly printed instructions and you aim the business end towards yourself, but it doesn't matter since you only use it to show off...Not burn stuff...Frikken pyro...

I wish I knew which post ForTheSwarm was referring to.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but it BLOWS YOUR MIND leaving you forum-wise shell-shocked for the rest of your office-chair-inhabiting career.

I wish I didnt get EATEN ALIVE by bugs last night camping.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, the bugs kill you and then eat you.

I wish I knew what to wish for and then had the wish that was indicated by the beginning of this wish granted.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but you die of confusing instructions.

I wish NoobOfLore was a loregendary suxxor.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But I change my title to that just to mock you...No joke...

I wish ForTheSwarm would grant this wish.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but I'm actually QuothTheRaven using ForTheSwarm's account. After hacking him I showed up the next day to kill him with a........

I wish for a weapon to kill ForTheSwarm.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but it explodes in your hand due to me placing an explosive on it.

I wish QuothTheRaven quoted the raven.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But "nevermore" is a pretty annoying thing to hear all the time...So yo kill yourself.

I wish for a suit of safe, removeable, instantly findeable, invincible, armor that can only be worn by me. And I can put it on.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but it looks hideous. Whenever you wear it, people laugh at you.

I wish I had a pet cacodemon.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but you stole it from me, and I trained it to eat people. And also shoot fireballs at them. It says you taste good barbecued.

I wish for this wish to not be corrupted.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but due to my incredibly short attention span I don't even read half of the post. Hope it wasn't something about a non-corruptible wish. You get clown penis.

I wish for a plasma sword.

[di0nne]

how do you play this game?? im soooo nooob.. hehe.. ^_^

[NoobOfLore]

QuothTheRaven, granted, but it is not easy to use, and you find that there is actually no purpose to having a light saber, and it ends up getting taken by the FBI anyway since it utilizes technology that defies the laws of known physics.

I wish someone wouldn't join this thread and avoid reading the first page, where the rules are properly described.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but someone joins this thread, reads the first page, and still asks about the rules.

I wish you knew that a light saber isn't a plasma sword.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. I already knew and you sound like a jerk for wishing for it.

I wish for a better computer that is protected from physical and software damage, that I can also use.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but you spend all your time on it and become even more socially retarded than you are now.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but it was a stupid wish.

I wish Jaxander finished SS4.

[Duddits]

Granted, but you take a deep introspective look unto yourself and realize you failed at life for such a crappy wish. Pacman eats you.

I wish condoms were reusable.

[sumo88]

Granted, catch is you can't reuse your own. You contract some major STD and suffer a slow and painful death.

I wish to wake up early enough to golf tomorrow.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but you can't golf because you're too tired.

I wish my new social group would not phail.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, it epic phails.

I wish people spelled "phail" fail.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, you now count as more than one person. Nothing changes.

I wish my social group would succeed and then continue to succeed and not fail or be deleted.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but then it is eaten. (by whom? you'll never know)

I wish I knew who will eat NoobOfLore's social group.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, you do, and after that information is realized, you explode because you ate it.
I wish Someone would respond to this wish faster than I responded to ForTheSwarms.

[Jaxander]

Granted. But you realize that it's me, and now you wish for FTS again.

I wish that I would complete SS4.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but it sucks and nobody likes the Shadow Syndicate series ever again.

I wish Jaxander wasn't about safe sex.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but then your girlfriend contracts an STD from me next time she sneaks over. Guess what? You got crabs now!

I wish ForTheSwarm knew how to spell 'Shadow'.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but I have no clue what you are talking about.

I wish I knew what you were talking about.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you are pwnt buy a fat chinese girl.

I wish for respect!

[Nostradamus]

Granted. But everyone still thinks you're a retard.

I wish for an end to world suffering.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you and your family die.

I wish for Nostradamus to learn not to expect too much from an 11-year old

[Zeltaris]

Granted. Now he talks to you in a patronising manner and gives you narcotic-laden sweets so you'll stfu :D

I wish for a new penis.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted. It is 3 centimeters long (5 cm while in erection) and unclean. Enjoy !

I wish for ice cream!

[BrotherGreen]

Granted. Chunky Poo flavour. The best part is finding out what the chunks are!

Nasty.

I wish this laptop I just got stayed amazing forever

[Zeltaris]

Granted. You are now stuck inside a space-time stasis field.

Granted. It is 3 centimeters long (5 cm while in erection) and unclean. Enjoy !
I so totally saw that coming :<. However, a 2 inch-dick means I can finally wear that strap-on I got on my 15th bday. Either way, I win :D

I wish I really did have a strap-on >_>

[NoobOfLore]

Granted? Dare I even say the repercussions to wishing for that in public?

I wish for the ability to enter any conversation with style and everyone liked talking to me.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but it is only because you are turned into a talking dog. Then you are eaten by a tiger that appeared out of nowhere.

I wish I was that tiger.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But I'm pretty scrawny and you end up choking on one of my bones, which make up 90% of my body mass.

I wish I has greater social skills, without being changed in any other way.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but your social skills are only increased by .1%, so you still fail at being social.

I wish that my summer vacation will be nice.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but 'nice' is considered an emotion/emotional state, and because summer is widely agreed in the science community to be a temporary environmental condition and not being classified as any known kind of sentient, you implode as the result of making an ineffective wish.

I wish that I could wish for my two front teeth without lisping. Fuck, I hate lisping.

[Zeltaris]

granted but you altho lothe your fazhion thenthe ;)

I wish I had delicious apple pies

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but cows have been renamed "apples," and people willingly and regularly give you a nice, steaming "apple" pie.

I wish for something pleasant that has no negative or unpleasant results that I might consider so before, after, or during the process of the wish being executed.

[Zeltaris]

Granted. You get banged in the butt.
...and you enjoy it.

I wish I knew what NoL's avatar is :o

[apostolos]

Granted,but he changes it.

I wish for my death

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you die after 700 yearsof torture by a gay, human-raping gorilla.

I wish for no more ignorants...

Offtopic:

I wish I knew what NoL's avatar is

It's a Cacodemon from Doom (videogame, 1996)

[NoobOfLore]

Way to UNcorrupt his wish, ZeratulStukov...
Granted, You disappear from the face of the earth.

I wish that Zeltaris would tell us WTF he is already.

And also, Zeltaris, you broke the conditions of my wish, because the social repercussions afterwards would be negative and unpleasant, and if nobody knew, and there is apparently NO NEGATIVE impact of your granting of my wish, then you have failed at the rules of the game. My wish prevails.

[Tuxinator]

Granted, but it is something heavaly sexual, and is censord by the FBI.

I wish i would have known what NoL's pic was before i made the "ITS A PENIS EATER!" comment

[Fenguin]

Granted, but you make the comment anyway. Then, by karma, your penis gets eaten.

I wish I didn't have a hangover.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, you are now dead instead.

I wish the Tuxinator would stop spamming.

[Jaxander]

Granted. More room for ZeratulStukov now. Way to go NoobofLore, thanks.

I wish that spammers would stop spamming and take up a nicer hobby. Like, knitting, for example.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but due to their lack of intelligence and attention span they make really ugly afghans that piss off everyone in the middle east even more. After realizing Americans really doesn't give a shit if national monuments are destroyed they crash a plane loaded with explosives into your local walmart. You can no longer purchase xbox live subscription cards to extend your time on xbox live, you join the Al-kida ranks to seek revenge. You are found out and shot due to teletubby informants, The Iraqis don't find clowns very funny apparently.

I wish rapists and sex offenders would be castrated for their crimes. Not including me of course.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But since you came up with a way to block the most obvious corruption, All their removed body parts return to life and come to anal rape you in your sleep.

I wish my last corruption was less graphic.

[Jaxander]

Granted. Now nobody cares to read it. +0 rep.

I wish NoobofLore didn't copy WarInSerbia.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but why don't you ask Apostolos about that? He'll tell you why that's bad.

I wish to be immortal and to not die of unnatural causes, including animals, poison, weapons, falling, stabbing, crushing, rupturing, expanding, or any form of chemical reaction that might cause me injury, as well as continue my current lifestyle.

[Fenguin]

Granted, but why don't you ask Apostolos about that? He'll tell you why that's bad.

I wish to be immortal and to not die of unnatural causes, including animals, poison, weapons, falling, stabbing, crushing, rupturing, expanding, or any form of chemical reaction that might cause me injury, as well as continue my current lifestyle.
Granted. But a hundred years from now, all your friends and family are dead and you wish you were dead too.

I wish I had a cell phone.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, you go buy a new Krazer, and like me, accidentially drop it in a cup of water. Guess what, the fucking warrenty doesnt cover water. How useful...

I wish I didnt work for 11 hours today.

[Zeltaris]

Granted. You were fired the moment you showed up this morning

I wish I had moar lemonz

[Fenguin]

Granted. But they're in your rectum.

I wish that I had a Lamborghini Murcielago.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, you have a toy version of the Murcielago. Vroom Vroom!

I wish I wasnt fired then :(

[Fenguin]

Granted, you have a toy version of the Murcielago. Vroom Vroom!

I wish I wasnt fired then :(
Granted. But now that you're a rehire, you have to work 20 hours a day.

I wish I was perfect.

[Zeltaris]

granted but you have lemonz in your rectum

I wish ерщыу дуьщты учздщвув дщд

[BrotherGreen]

Granted... JALALAlllalallalalalLALALALAIAIAIAIAIAALLAIALAILAI LAIJIHADONYOULALALALAL

Heh. Sucker got owned.
I wish canada day tomorrow will kick ass.

[Fenguin]

Granted... JALALAlllalallalalalLALALALAIAIAIAIAIAALLAIALAILAI LAIJIHADONYOULALALALAL

Heh. Sucker got owned.
I wish canada day tomorrow will kick ass.
Granted, but Independence Day will be better.
(Speaking of Canada Day, I'll be in Vancouver from July 2nd to early July 4th. Anyone live there?)

I wish it was beertime already.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but the really hot chicks in skimpy canadian flag bikinis, whom are also soaked in maple syrup, kick your ass.

Granted but Jack Layton kicks your ass for making fun of his mustache on something unrelated.

Granted but Stephen Harper decides to not let you in on the info that 'goes down' on Canada Day, and so zaps you with his Harper Vision™ to protect Canadian logistical secrets.

Granted but you drown in maple syrup, prior to aboot nine thirty. At nine thirty, you're disposed off in a garbage compressor, eh!

Granted, but Terrence and Philip, after farting so much, have enraged Scott the Dick to the breaking point and so he melts all retail stores displaying Kraft Dinner with an Elliptical mirror that deflects and focuses Harper Vision™ through a crystal (much like a laser) to create a focused beam of pure Harper Vision™ energy; that thusly is able to melt retail stores. What a dick! This may seem completely unrelated, but Terrence, then allows his serial killer tendencies (of which were previously in recession) to let loose, and so he chooses you as his victim because you chose to exploit the god power of wishin' for Canada Day to kick ass. Terrence obviously can't see through this, as there is a serial killer haze of utter murderous rage obscuring his vision. He chops off your limbs and shoots you with a Canadian BB Gun until you die. Then he shoots himself with an American .37 S&W, denying America of Terrence of Philip. So America invades Canada, takes over, and wipes Canadian history from record. They don't forget to use your body for corporate manufacturing somehow with the use of crazy American recycle dirived pseudo technology (it's America) to deny you decent post-life treatment (such as burial or cremation).

Granted but Canada Day ends in a donkey kicking fest and your like "... what?". Then everyone laughs at you out of sheer irony. Then you go back to living life as usual, with a hole in your heart. D:

Granted, but you sleep in, missing a parade somewhere in Greater Vancouver, and then end up going to the gym; after which you then waste the rest of your day and life at the computer. <--- In no relation to what I intend to do at all.
Whatsoever.

Granted but it's not beertime, because beertime could mean any number of things. Such as... say, a parrallel universe merging this universe in a temporal multiversal collision; replacing human blood with alcohol, thus effectively dumping all of our brains in an acidic concentration of popular corporate beer. Extinguishing humanity. Good job.
Of course, if this didn't occur then aliens would attack in a mother ship on independence day, because the movie said so.

I wish I could embody Toronto.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but nobody cared about Toronto, and we immediately dismiss you as a haxxor or a troller for emulating all the people of Toronto.

I wish this thread would live yet, even though SS made post nobody wanted to answer.

[Zeltaris]

Granted but all the following replies come courtesy of xgmx

I wish there had been mods in time to stop today's afternoon crapflood.

[apostolos]

Granted,but they get manipulated by an unknown evil and start spamming.


I wish I was better at corrupting people's wishes

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, but you fail at everything else.

I wish I could not die unless I killed myself.

[Zeltaris]

Granted, but then you decide to test out your new powers. And succeed.


I wish I didn't have an unhealthy addiction to salt.

[ForTheSwarm]

Granted, you now have an unhealthy addiction to our own hair. You soon become bald.

I wish Zeltaris had 4443 posts.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, he has now an intensely more vast amount that you, you end up looking like a n00b.

I wish my post count was oveR 9000!!!!

[Zerg_eater]

granted, too bad they were all spam and Neo decides to ban you

I wish my scouter doesn't say Gokus power level is OVER NINE THOUSANDD!!!!!!!!!!!

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. Now it's EXACTLY NINE THOUSAAAAANDD!!!

I wish that I had the motivation and skill to succeed in school, and applied it successfully and passed school and had a long a pleasant life, as I would so consider.

[Zeltaris]

Granted, but everybody gets tired of you adding ridiculous codae to your wishes in order to make them incorruptible so they beat the living fuck out of ya.

I wish I had moar prawnz

[Zerg_eater]

Granted, more fat gay prawn for you.

I wish i could ride zelt's Giracar

[Jaxander]

Granted, but he catches up to you in his cheetacar and...

beat the living fuck out of ya.

I wish I had more bars with my cell phone.

[LDawgg]

Granted, but now you own a long chain franchise of bars.

I wish i was better at this.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. You realize you just wasted a wish on something totally insignificant and kill yourself.

I wish people didn't hate me so much.

[LDawgg]

Granted, but only because insead of me killing myself, i killed you. Now you no longer exist for people to hate you. Cheers.

I wish I had a thousand wishes that could never ever in any way whatsoever be corrupted. ;)

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, each wish is granted. But all wishes are wishes for you to be forever tormented ;)

I wish to be an expert of modding, such as my idol, Raidmax

[LDawgg]

Granted, but then your head explodes thus rendering all that knowlage useless.

i wish i knew what to wish for

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But you are beaten with a stick since at least 2 other people have wished for that already.

I wish for long lasting pain and torment, ending in a horrific and hopeless death.

[LDawgg]

Granted, but you realise that after you die, you get reborn and you will live again with long lasting pain and torment, ending in a horrific and hopeless death. Then you are reborn and...

I wish someone would corrupt my wish.

[BrotherGreen]

No, I wont corrupt your wish. Sucker.

I wish my back didnt hurt so much =(

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but your penis is cut off...

I wish I was better at modding... :(

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but you can't tell whether or not it is good seeing as you suck at starcraft so bad.

I wish for a wish that might be granted by the person below me.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you are killed by a Thunder Archon =) PWNT

I wish to be a good modder

[Zerg_eater]

Granted, too bad no one likes your maps

I wish our "member" would stop being so naive.

[Hydralisk1337]

Granted, but now there's no one to laugh at.

I wish that I knew which model to attempt compiling, again...

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you are pwnt by Protogod.

I wish that Z_E was smarter....

Offtopic:
I wish to be a good modder
Granted, too bad no one likes your maps

Congrats, Zerg_Eater, you are an idiot.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, he is now about 50067 times smarter than you.

I wish ZS knew better than to flame/troll with his current status on warboards.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but I kill you because you don't understand that I am right. (Jeez, this is not fair man... I've got flamed for things much more smaller)

I wish that people would know what spam really is...

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. That's all. Not as fulfilling as you had hoped now was it?

I wish for a suit of armor that can reflect unpleasant comments.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but your brain implodes, making you the most retarded person ever.

I wish for a funny corruption of this wish

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. Now isn't this hilarious?

I wish ZS wouldn't answer my wish.

[LDawgg]

Granted. But I did insead. Muahahaha *voice crack*

I wish noob of lore's avatars didn't ALWASE move.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, there is no movement. It's a collection of images that are put in order to EMULATE moment.

I wish something would happen.

[BrotherGreen]

*cricket chirps*

So... anyway.

I wish I never made this thread because of you assholes.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, you have now become a fat homosexual retard for not making the thread.

I wish for her.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but she hates you and makes your life miserable.

I wish that my wish was longer so that it could end up being corrupted in a rediculous way.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, your wish is now longer, and because of this paradoxal wish, I decide to just not corrupt it, leaving the next person to clean up for me.
Next person is dealing with this one.

[apostolos]

Granted,but since you are a lost soul,your wish gets really f*ck3d up and gets corrupted in a very logical way.


I wish TPBM lived 5 years longer.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, at the end of those five years, I kill you.

I wish this wouldn't turn into a TPBM thread.

[West]

Granted, but TPBM will kill you.


I wish I was a pimp.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But every body else becomes gay.

I wish cholera didn't kill my dog.

~Fz

[Sento]

granted. cholera kills everyone else

I wish i was here last month

[LDawgg]

Granted but no one else was.

I wish i had meat vision

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but you find it is really a disturbing and primarily useless power and accidentally turn yourself into meat.

I wish I knew how to make an uncorruptable wish without people hating me.

[BrotherGreen]

gran- ... Wait. Everybody hates you though. I cant do shit about that...
=/

I wish I didnt burn my ENTIRE BODY while boating the other day.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, you only burned your brain. You revert to the kid in your Avvy.

I wish I knew how to express how much of an ass people can be sometimes and make them stop. Legally.

[LDawgg]

I wish for that to. Therfore I leave it to TPBM to do a double corrupt.

[Sento]

granted. You two express it to eachother then kill eachother becuase you were talking about eachother

I wish i could've done a better corrupt than that

[FrankZ]

Granted. You become worse on everything else.

I wish I wish I didn't kill my fish.

~Fz

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but I kill your fish. I also devour all of the other life in the tank.

I wish I would stop eating human fear and stick with my diet.

[FrankZ]

Granted. Now you devour human joy.

I wish rain wouldn't come anymore... I'm already soaked to the bones.

[Sento]

granted. there's no more rain, but hail the size of basketballs pummels you everyday then melts and soaks you

I wish i was already working for Blizzard or Bethesda

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but they fire you for intercourse with an office desk.

I wish for a pineapple covered in razors.

[LDawgg]

Granted, but it ends up in your rectum.

I wish I had hypernatural abilities, that improved my life and in no way worsened it. Or ended it.

[Jaxander]

Granted, by God takes one look at you, says "wtf?" and boom, you're dead.

I wish my cell phone had a wider service area.

[Zerg_eater]

granted....but your cell phone was accidently thrown into a pool.


I wish I had grade A brothergreen bites.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but I pwn you in the balls for Double-posting.

I wish I was better at drawing...

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, But you have now countered and removed every other part of your brain and you die of starvation since you don't know how to eat.

I wish I knew the difference between flaming and not flaming.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you are now the greatest spammer, so your are banned permanently and commit suicide because you can't go to WBs anymore.

I wish Myminicity.com would never exist...

[NoobOfLore]

Nope. Just wont grant that one, n00b.

I wish that I granted that wish.

[Sento]

granted, and you cease to exist along with it

I wish i had an xbox 360 and PS3 with the best games

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but I pwn you because I hate PS and Xbox.

OR

Granted, but your arms are cut off. Enjoy!



I wish Myminicity.com would never exist (nobody granted it, so it's still useable)

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted, but since you are the creator, and hate having his creations destroyed you a annialated with it. buh-bye.


I wish that the PS3 had some actual games

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but all PS3's in the world are then destroyed, and so are the games. Enjoy!

I wish that I could find everything I want on the Internet, for free! (I'm really mad right now because you can barely find any good sites to watch family guy, and if you DO find them, they require Firefox :mad: :mad: :mad:)

[Sento]

granted, but everything is just plain crap. have fun in your crappy world with your free crappy computer ;)

I wish i had a brain

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but when your request was viewed, it was misread as Brian, so instead you got Brian Griffin (http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070305/friends/brian_l.jpg). Have fun!

I wish for free Family Guy episodes everywhere on the internet!

[Sento]

well, it's better than that guy... wiat, megs a girl? o.O

neway, granted. you get to watch free family guy peter griffin porn... why oh why did you do that?

I wish for a pet facehugger that was incapable of hugging my face

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but he DOES manage to get an embryo inside of your body. Have fun when you wake up!

I wish for people to stop posting lame corruptions

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, your posts no longer plague this thread. Thank you.

I wish our government wasn't FUBAR.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, now it is FUWithinAR

I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

granted, you wish for a spiked enema.


I wish I had better speakers.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, you now own 1st edition Fisher Price speakers, for kids!!
yaay!

I wish my skin wasnt peeling where I got burnt =(

[Jimmy_the_saint]

granted. now so much skin is peeling of your genitals that you no longer have any.


I wish skinny jeans where not so god damn tight

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but that defies the name, thus causing them to be horribly malformed, turning them into the new fashion fad. You are held down as multiple overzealous teenagers apply the pants to you.

I wish that the person who answers me would give me an awesome signature picure.

[psycho42b]

Granted, but it got deleted before I could send it.

I wish for a land sub.

[Mjolniir]

granted, a typhoon-class just landed on your head.

i wish george lucas would die

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but Walt Disney unfreezes and possesses the body of George Lucas through the modern art of brain surgery. With his new body Walt Disney walks the earth once again and merges star wars with cartoons. Japan wages war on the U.S. for the defiling the animation community, we nuke the fuck out of them. The world hates us more than they did before, if that was possible. Good job.

I wish the government would stop spamming my mailbox with marine recruitment shit.

[psycho42b]

Granted, but the government now spams your mailbox with overy other armed forces recruitment messages, as well as calling nonstop and sending members to meet with you on an hourly basis, 24 hours a day.

I wish cold nuclear fusion could be done in a way to be an efficient, widely usable energy source.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, now they do it with "Reelect Bush" shit (don't tell anyone, it's a secret).

I wish I was australian.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but you are now a citizen of the fattest country on the planet. Here. (http://www.warboards.org/showthread.php?t=36300)

I wish people would stop blaming their weight on the environment and heredity.

[Mjolniir]

granted, they now blame it on you!

i wish people wouldn't group canadians(me) with americans, we are a seperate country you know.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. You break off into the ocean, separating thousands of Canadian-American families.

I wish my Avatar was as cool as Mjolniir's.

[Polkaman]

Granted, but mjolnirr changes his avatar at the last second, so now you have an anus for your Avy.

I wish that sexual puns were non-existant on Saturday Night Live.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, It is now absolutely no fun to watch. Thanks a lot.

I wish Polkaman didn't ruin SNL for me.

[Polkaman]

Granted. But Now Your Other Favorite Show Has Been Cancelled.

I Wish That The 12 Ways To Masturbate Show Wasn't Cancelled. :D

[NoobOfLore]

It wasn't. The streets are paved with unpleasant bodily fluids now, though.

I wish I was capable of making simple social decisions that increase my rank in society.
Without unrelated detriment to my other abilities, please?

[Jaxander]

Granted, but it is granted in such a way that you are unaware that any change has taken place, and so, ironically, nothing changes.

I wish NoobOfLore's marine in his avy would live instead of constantly dying.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted. You now see a marine repeatedly popping out of a vagina, and back in.

I wish Jaxander wasn't all about safe sex.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you aren't either. Now you both have AIDS and there are a few pregnant girls who want to shoot you. Good luck!

I wish I was respected

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but... * whispering in the background *

What the hell do you mean I cant grant that?
Apparently thats against the rules because it will never feasibly happen. Weird....

I wish ZS never came to my thread again and basically spammed it with worthless content

[VigilanteV]

Granted, I am now post 543. Oh wait, this has to be bad....umm....hold on...but you get SAIDS(cop out)

I wish that people would stop kissing so much ass in the world.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but sooner or later, someone will kiss someone else's ass to get a better job, and then I pwn you.

I wish I could be more creative corrupting wishes as before.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but then all your other posts suck even more than before.

I wish there weren't so many Naruto fans.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, there are no Naruto fans except for every person on the earth you have to talk to for more than 2 minutes at a time.

I wish I was god, and had overwhelming/unlimited power over all in the universe and was able to create a physical body for myself, retaining godlike abilities.

[Polkaman]

Granted, then you wake up.

I wish i could just fucking finish my Kaos Strife Arena map, and nothing bad would happen to it or to me when it's finished.

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, both you and your map are devoured by a giant tortoise.(you said or, not and:P)

I wish I was a genius without becoming any more physically inept.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but a retard with a high IQ is still a retard. Enjoy the special olympics.

I wish my throat didnt hurt =(

[NoobOfLore]

Granted, but I end up tearing out half your ribs out of frustrated anger because I am actually a retard.

I wish I wasn't a retard. :bonk: