Corrupt a Wish!

[pytum]

granted, it has 1mb of ram, enjoy

i wish for a flying car

[Galiant]

granted. but you ram over an airplane and you died

[Zerg_eater]

I wish Galiant made a wish that didn't have to do with me at all, or my family, and i don't care about the whole w0r1d

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but you die because of it.

I wish my PC had more ram.

[pytum]

granted, you have 5000 terabytes of ram more , but your computer overheats due to the extremely fast ram, and melts your pc

i wish that people dont forget to post well-posted posts in the current thread

[Zerg_eater]

granted, it's so well posted that your posts are all spam and get's deleted


I wish I a ruler

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, now you are a ruler, of the ones you can see small distances.

I wish i had a sandwich. I'm hungry.

[tremaparagon]

Granted, its a knuckle sandwich! (ok that was unoriginal)

I wish I could get lasix

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but because I don't know what is it, I pwn you.

I wish people posted more often.

[pytum]

granted, now people overspam this place and become locked

i wish warboards were in other languages

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but not in your language.

I wish I had +rep without having to do nothing gross.

[pytum]

granted, now in order to get rep you have to pay us all the members of warboards 10dollars each everytime you want rep

I wish Africa could arise from poverty

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, you and your family supply them with money, thus throwing you into poverty.
Whos the nigga now?

I wish I wasnt so tired.

[pytum]

granted, now you have a 7-feet tall nigga who is giving you a massage on your back to release you from your tiredness...

i wish i owned microsoft

[Polkaman]

Granted. Under your rulership microsoft bombs and you owe a billion dollars in taxes.

I wish you could eat in class during school

[Hasharin]

Sure I can, thanks! you cant. lol pick ur words better next time XD

I wish that the painful wrestling moves were illegal.

[Nostradamus]

Granted, but you soon grow tired of your wimpy, painless wrestling and start wrestling illegally on street corners. You die in a drive-by body-slam.

I wish that I had a big purple chair

[Hasharin]

Granted, but if it is touched, it turns into a monster that immediately destroys you.

I wish my muscles weren't so stiff *shuffle*

[Polkaman]

Granted. Now your some random weak guy that gets beat up by street people.

[pytum]

granted, but i didnt know your wish so ungranted

i wish i was perfect

[Galiant]

granted, but you died

I wish for [Censored]

[pytum]

lame corruption :|

granted, but since it is a [censored] it has to be large, wide and sturdy and you grab it with your hands near your mouth

i wish every porn studio paid me 50 bucks for every sex scene in their movies

[Galiant]

granted, but you have sex with animals.. genetically experimented mutated animals.. with three heads.

I wish my fake Ipod was only 500 Pesos(But it is)

[Nostradamus]

Granted. But seeing as you're a cheap skate that buys cheap rip offs you rot in Apple hell for all eternity.

I wish that Warhammer Online was released right ... NOW

[MajorSonnwaitts]

nvm...

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but perfection is now illegal in the whole world (thanks to God), now you're in jail until you stop to be perfect.

I wish I wasn't dislexic, so I wouldn't review my posts before submit it.

[Galiant]

Granted! But I wish you didn't double post!

I wish lesser koreans!

[pytum]

granted, but now blizzard becomes bankrupt and starcraft 2 project is stopped

i wish lesser fat people in the word

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but now there are more noobs in the world.

I wish I never double posted.

Granted! But I wish you didn't double post!

I wish lesser koreans!I could swear someone posted before me :)

[Polkaman]

Granted, you triple posted.

I wish that no1 could corrupt this wish.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but I pwn you.

I wish for...

[pytum]

granted, now you have your ... which is a very long ... and it never ends

i wish starcraft 2 was released before spring

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but buggy.

I wish I could post better wishes.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but people post better ownages, lowering your already tiny self esteem. Nice.

I wish whenever i made fun of someone, I could be like
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN OMG CAN U FEEL THAT BURN? DO YOU NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN? and not feel like a total idiot =)

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but there's a bug in your wish and you still feel like an idiot (I love game bugs when doesn't harm me.)

I wish I had Internet at home.

[Hasharin]

granted but its so slow it takes years to load a single pixel of a page.

I wish that I was AmAzInG!!!!!!

[MajorSonnwaitts]

GrAnTeD, bUt BeInG AmAzInG iS aGaInSt ThE lAw, sO yOu'Re SeNt To JaIl.

I wish I never wished nothing in this thread.

[SolidSamurai]

I wish that the gash on my nose cleared up and that I wasnt re-harmed in any shape or form, mentally or physically or psycologically as a result or for an unrelated or related reason.

Granted, but you are harmed metaphysically, and go insane due to 'demons coming through the rift vortex gate bridge of a parralel universe's seperate dimension'.

TPAM: Granted, but you recieve nothing for christmas, your birthday, or breakfast.

I wish I had uber life insurance that was worth trillions, so that I could get an uber loan from the bank to invest in reanimation technology; and then go kill myself in a pre-prepared chamber that necrod me the moment my heart stopped. Of course, I'd be undead and ugly, but insurance would pay off. And medical beauty technology helps too.

[pytum]

granted, but you just bankrupt all the bank in the US and canada gets stronger and china send missiles to your house and you die alive burning between your sofa and your lcd tv with a soda in your hand watching independence day with a girl named china while your dog is doing shit on your shoes made of gold of 24-k

i wish i had the human power of every single human in the earth

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but you're the only one still alive. And your power just ruptured the atmosphere. Have fun breathing in space.

I wish I could breath in space.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted.
But you still cant deal with the fact that its a vaccuum.

Squishy...

I wish I didnt just tie Aqotrooper's record on Maeda Path in the arcade. Twice.

[tzzA]

yeah, but winning then causes your compy to BSOD.

I wish that I didn't have to eat veggies for dinner.

[GroG]

Granted, the veggies will now eat you for dinner, and you'll regrow an hour later out of the ground just so the veggies can eat you again and again.

I wish I had that I had 48 hours in a day while everyone else maintained their 24 hours.

[tzzA]

Yeah, but your hours are 20 minutes each, instead of 60.

I wish that I didn't have to go to school tomorrow

[GroG]

Granted, but once tomorrow ends you will be stuck in school for eternity! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I wish we all traveled through tubes.

[pytum]

granted, now our toilet is our main public transit system, enjoy the free food...

i wish for some beautiful, big-boobed, healthy japanese girls on my bed right now

[tzzA]

yeah, but they want to kill you.


I wish that I had godlike powers

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but someone else has beyond godlike powers, so he pwns you.
(Yeah, I play DotA...)

I wish my PC had more RAM (apparently, 64MB are too much poor for Windows XP).

[tzzA]

yeah, but you spend all your money getting ram, and then your hard drive goes.

I wish it would stop raining.

[pytum]

granted, but it only stops for 5 seconds

i wish i could predict earthquakes

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but only three seconds in advance.

I wish I had a better computer.

[Mjolniir]

granted, but it starts on fire and burns your house down.

i wish i could control peoples minds

[ZeratulStukov]

granted, but then I pwn you for having an avatar resembling the WTF-ALLPWNING Alien

I wish I was unpwnable

[tzzA]

yeah, but then your compy a splodes and you can't do anything.

I wish that i had a desktop instead of this lappy.

[Mjolniir]

granted, a brand new Commodore 64 is yours.

i wish that the guy below me be burried alive in runny, horribly smelly shit. and that i not be:P

[Moser]

Granted, but you, your family, and everybody you ever cared about is buried in there too.

I wish I had people to play Diablo 2 with.

[Mjolniir]

granted, but you really are in hell, have fun!

i wish that the person above me be covered with flaming shit, and that i not be.

[Moser]

Granted, your family and everybody you ever cared about is now dead. Too bad, you had to be so greedy and change your post to make your life better. Now you're family is dead.

I wish that I had things to wish about.

[Zerg_eater]

granted, you wish for a knife....To kill yourself.

[pytum]

granted, but since there is no wish... nothing happens

i wish i could buy a hummer with 1 dollar

[Zerg_eater]

Granted, but it's a toy!

i wish these numbers were countable in 5 seconds
21
-142.5,249.75|144.75,248.25|147,249.75|149.25,257.2 5|152.25,257.25|155.25,258|156.75,239.25|156.75,23 9.25
-164,228|167,227|169,230|172,238|176,239|179,240|18 1,222|181,222
-154,237|157,236|159,238|162,246|165,246|168,247|17 0,229|170,229
-138,232|141,231|143,233|146,240|149,241|153,240|15 5,221|155,221
-121,233|124,232|126,234|129,241|132,242|136,241|13 8,222|138,222
-168,246|172,245|174,247|176,256|179,256|182,256|18 4,238|184,238
-185,247|189,246|191,248|193,256|196,256|199,256|20 1,237|201,237
-122,262|125,262|127,264|139,279|147,281|159,282|17 0,259|177,252
-98,262|101,261|103,263|116,271|130,265|139,269|147 ,253|153,253
-165,257|167,256|170,258|169,271|166,277|170,277|16 4,262|147,261
-145,270|146,268|149,270|150,285|157,299|177,300|15 7,285|129,27621
-142.5,249.75|144.75,248.25|147,249.75|149.25,257.2 5|152.25,257.25|155.25,258|156.75,239.25|156.75,23 9.25
-164,228|167,227|169,230|172,238|176,239|179,240|18 1,222|181,222
-154,237|157,236|159,238|162,246|165,246|168,247|17 0,229|170,229
-138,232|141,231|143,233|146,240|149,241|153,240|15 5,221|155,221
-121,233|124,232|126,234|129,241|132,242|136,241|13 8,222|138,222
-168,246|172,245|174,247|176,256|179,256|182,256|18 4,238|184,238
-185,247|189,246|191,248|193,256|196,256|199,256|20 1,237|201,237
-122,262|125,262|127,264|139,279|147,281|159,282|17 0,259|177,252
-98,262|101,261|103,263|116,271|130,265|139,269|147 ,253|153,253
-165,257|167,256|170,258|169,271|166,277|170,277|16 4,262|147,261
-145,270|146,268|149,270|150,285|157,299|177,300|15 7,285|129,27621
-142.5,249.75|144.75,248.25|147,249.75|149.25,257.2 5|152.25,257.25|155.25,258|156.75,239.25|156.75,23 9.25
-164,228|167,227|169,230|172,238|176,239|179,240|18 1,222|181,222
-154,237|157,236|159,238|162,246|165,246|168,247|17 0,229|170,229
-138,232|141,231|143,233|146,240|149,241|153,240|15 5,221|155,221
-121,233|124,232|126,234|129,241|132,242|136,241|13 8,222|138,222
-168,246|172,245|174,247|176,256|179,256|182,256|18 4,238|184,238
-185,247|189,246|191,248|193,256|196,256|199,256|20 1,237|201,237
-122,262|125,262|127,264|139,279|147,281|159,282|17 0,259|177,252
-98,262|101,261|103,263|116,271|130,265|139,269|147 ,253|153,253
-165,257|167,256|170,258|169,271|166,277|170,277|16 4,262|147,261
-145,270|146,268|149,270|150,285|157,299|177,300|15 7,285|129,27621
-142.5,249.75|144.75,248.25|147,249.75|149.25,257.2 5|152.25,257.25|155.25,258|156.75,239.25|156.75,23 9.25
-164,228|167,227|169,230|172,238|176,239|179,240|18 1,222|181,222
-154,237|157,236|159,238|162,246|165,246|168,247|17 0,229|170,229
-138,232|141,231|143,233|146,240|149,241|153,240|15 5,221|155,221
-121,233|124,232|126,234|129,241|132,242|136,241|13 8,222|138,222
-168,246|172,245|174,247|176,256|179,256|182,256|18 4,238|184,238
-185,247|189,246|191,248|193,256|196,256|199,256|20 1,237|201,237
-122,262|125,262|127,264|139,279|147,281|159,282|17 0,259|177,252
-98,262|101,261|103,263|116,271|130,265|139,269|147 ,253|153,253
-165,257|167,256|170,258|169,271|166,277|170,277|16 4,262|147,261
-145,270|146,268|149,270|150,285|157,299|177,300|15 7,285|129,27621
-142.5,249.75|144.75,248.25|147,249.75|149.25,257.2 5|152.25,257.25|155.25,258|156.75,239.25|156.75,23 9.25
-164,228|167,227|169,230|172,238|176,239|179,240|18 1,222|181,222
-154,237|157,236|159,238|162,246|165,246|168,247|17 0,229|170,229
-138,232|141,231|143,233|146,240|149,241|153,240|15 5,221|155,221
-121,233|124,232|126,234|129,241|132,242|136,241|13 8,222|138,222
-168,246|172,245|174,247|176,256|179,256|182,256|18 4,238|184,238
-185,247|189,246|191,248|193,256|196,256|199,256|20 1,237|201,237
-122,262|125,262|127,264|139,279|147,281|159,282|17 0,259|177,252
-98,262|101,261|103,263|116,271|130,265|139,269|147 ,253|153,253
-165,257|167,256|170,258|169,271|166,277|170,277|16 4,262|147,261
-145,270|146,268|149,270|150,285|157,299|177,300|15 7,285|129,276

[GroG]

Granted, I counted them in under 5 seconds. Don't believe me? Prove it. While I was at it, I also counted your life span, and I hate to say it but annoying little gnats don't last too long..

I wish I didn't work so much.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you get pwnd by an angry old lady with a banana cannon.

I wish for Portal, and an un-pwnable computer

[tzzA]

yeah, but then the power company shuts off your electricity.

I wish that vacation lasted longer.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but a random computer virus transforms into a snowball assassin and goes Kung-Fu on your ass, leaving you unconciouss on the floor, and without arms...

I wish I wish that I wished....

[pytum]

granted, now you have your ....

i wish i was alcapone with a unpwnable protoss shield with 1000000 of shield hp resistent to the EMP and that i had an AK-47 with unlimited ammo

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but an evil monkey in an astronaut suit, also equipped with a cheese machinegun pwns you down...

I wish I would be unpwnable

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but I pwn you. Hahahahahaha!!! I like to do this.

I wish I had a better bike.

[cole]

Granted. You now have a better bike. If only you had tires to go with it.

I wish i knew how girls think.

[pytum]

granted, now you are gay

I wish i was eminem but richer and smarter

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, you know how to make them with crap.

I wish I had more imagination for my wishes.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but a big fat monkey owns you with a carrot

I wish World of Warcraft would be destroyed FOREVER !!!

[tzzA]

yeah, but then W0rld Of Warcraft (see the difference?) appears, enlarges to the same size, and then murders you.

i wish that my compy would run Battlefield 2.

[pytum]

granted, it runs it but you die for a heartattack since you already can play it

i wish i had a time machine like back to the future

[migidu]

granted, but your time machine is only one way ticket :D

i wish i had a ring that could turn me invisible everytime i wear it.

[Polkaman]

Granted, but then u cross the street and a car unknowingly runs you over =D

I wish i had an ice cream cone

(NO SPRINKLES OMG)

[Moser]

Granted. Your ice cream cone is lodged in your throat.

I wish it wasn't snowing.

[tzzA]

Granted. It's freezing rain now.

I wish it was snowing.

[pytum]

granted, now you want to come out your house but your door gets stuck and you die from inanition.

I wish i could destroy the earth with a fart without hurting me

[migidu]

I wish i could destroy the earth with a fart without hurting me

granted, but you got destroyed too, but you didnt get hurt :D

i wish i would get perfect for every exam i take

[tzzA]

yeah, but you're in the hospital, so you can't take the exams.

I wish that i could create small bubbles in which time passes much faster than outside of it (few seconds outside-years inside)

[Galiant]

granted. but it reverses time and delivers u to the time of genesis

I wish you knew what I was going to wish

[pytum]

granted, but i found... anime...

i wish i could live in the sun, with health

[Galiant]

granted but you were all alone and your insanity caused you to commit suicide

I wish for something Bad that will happen to me

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but something bad shouldn't happen to you, so you create an Inter-dimensional atomic paradox by making this wish, thus leading to the destruction of the Earth. Congratulations :mad: !

I wish I would have a hot anime chick :)

[Zerg_eater]

granted, too bad you were turned gay > : D
I wish i would die in the next few seconds, and I don't care what happens

[pytum]

granted, but you dont die in the next few seconds... you die when you go to the bathroom... slowly and disgusting

I wish every chick in this world was big boobed

[GroG]

Granted. All the baby chickens now have big-boobs. And we eat the damn nuggets. You happy now?

I wish my wife and I had all the equipment to start playing golf.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted but a big ass frog comes and kills you both with a grenade

I wish for a wish

[Galiant]

granted but that wish killed you.

I wish for something bad.. VERY VERY BAD..

[pytum]

granted, your anime collections are burned before your eyes by your mom

i wish i could run in 5 seconds from NY to LA, without hurting me and being teleported by UFOs to mars

[migidu]

granted, but in that 5 seconds you became the dumbest person in the planet

i wish all people are intellectual and morally upright

[Galiant]

granted, but you became stupid

I wish for...

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted but your ... kills you while you're on the toilet :)

I wish for anime chicks

[Galiant]

granted. You now have anime poultry.

I WISH FOH POWAH!!!!

[migidu]

granted, and you got killed.


i wish that you can make your own wishes come true.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but I wish that I pwned you.

I wish I could pwn people without being flamed and/or pwned too.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted but I OWN you :)

I wish I wished to wish I wish

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but you become all wishy washy and drown in your wishy washiness.

I wish I could rewind someone's head and then use their brain to melt VHS and blu-ray so that eventually they'd bring back HD DVD, just so that I could laugh in the faces of all the blu-ray advocates who were so high up on the banwagon that they very well could've been the same people who banned transfats.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but a little 20 cm tall alien pwns you with a pistol.

I wish dunchy killed AJ and then we blamed him for killing AJ and then Schwitzer became Das UberAdministrator and pwnd the hell out of dunchy :)

[VigilanteV]

Granted. But you OD on the drugs your taking...

I wish for large island in the atlantic ocean with air defence, ground defence, and a 200 foot wall around the outside of if. I need this for my staging point for world dominance.

[tzzA]

Hey looky! Earthquake make island go BOOM, then lava gets rest!

/me wants to not have to do his esseh

[SolidSamurai]

I wish for large island in the atlantic ocean with air defence, ground defence, and a 200 foot wall around the outside of if. I need this for my staging point for world dominance.

Granted, but a really large enemy navy attacks you. Then you OD on the drugs you've been taking.

Granted, but tzzA wakes up from the dream of his wish being granted, only to find himself lying in bed with a really really really hot chick. Then he wakes up again, and the stress of discovering that this too was a dream causes his head to asplode.

I wish said thing happened to me.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you didn't spoke correctly, thus endind in me owning you down.

I wish I could destroy World Of Warcraft without ANY negative consequences. (Ha! Uncorruptable...)

[Galiant]

granted. But it was just a dream :P

I wish for Spam! lots and lots of SPAAAAAM!!!!

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted. A homosexual elephant now give you a lot of spam(dick)... in your anus. (Sorry for the sexual content...)

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but a mouse nukes ZeratulStukov's face off for wishing utter BLANK.

Darn, I wish a mouse wished to nuke my face off with an itty bitty cutesy little nuclear warhead and eety beety tiny little ouncy weeny beeny widdle icbm...

[VigilanteV]

Granted...but...it's a rat...thats 7 feet long...



I wish for better internet.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but then your computer explodes and burns your money :)

I wish for an un corruptable wish.

[VigilanteV]

granted. Enjoy your eternal rape...by a cactus...(you didn't say what the wish had to be.)

and why the fuck is all my money next to my computer?
i wish for immortality.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted... You are now a Protoss Immortal... And you are standing alone against a milion zerglings... Enjoy!

I wish that Warboardians just kill me... (anyway they all hate me, and that's bad :()

[migidu]

Granted, but you got resurrected and in killed again in infinite loop with endless pain and torture.



I wish God would talk back to us from heaven and speak in his thundering voice just to tell us, you guys are so much having fun.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but his grammar causes all english teachers to go insane, killing every single person on the planet. And god.

I wish for 1000 USD.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted but then the Mafia kills your family and burns your house, and your money with it....

I wish I am Raidmax

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, but after you become raidmax I kill you (sorry raid XD)


I wish I knew what I missed while I was mia..


And btw Holy Cheese!!! 312 pages.... last time I was here... 120 something.. grats guys.

[tzzA]

Wish granted. You head a splode from information overload.

I wish that it wasn't very likely for me to have a snow day tomorrow.

[pytum]

granted, now its 140farenheit... in a sunny day without water and without A/c

i wish every person in warboards could write well

[migidu]

granted, but you could never understand what they wrote at all.


i wish all people were human

[ZeratulStukov]

granted, but then you become a rat and die.

I wish I wished to Wish this Wishy wished wish by the wishy wisht of all wishes.

[migidu]

granted, but then you died.


i wish that people would learn to appreciate what they have right now and not when its gone so that they dont have to regret they were so selfish.

[Polkaman]

Granted, now everyones keeping their friends and spouses and you never get married and die in a cold hard box. =P

I wish that nothing could hurt me, i couldnt die, i was perfect, no1 was jelous of me, i wouldn't get busted for breaking laws, and i had trillions of dollars.

Beat That, Waldo.

[pytum]

granted, but you become gay and you get aids.

i wish i could be invisible in a certain period of time. the period of time could be the desired by me.

[migidu]

granted, but you were totally forgotten and completely lost your existence.


i wish that people were sensitive enough, polite, non-sarcastic, intellectual when they communicate with other people.

[ZeratulStukov]

This happens only on forums... mostly on warboards.... :rolleyes:

Granted, but then a rock falls on your head from 1 km above you

I wish to die

[Galiant]

granted. but you were reanimated to experience that death again and again and again

I wish for Garlic

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted. but you choke and die, then suffer your corrupted wish


i wish for a cookie

[Polkaman]

Granted, but it's old and turned into a cracker.

I with that i was a triangle

[pytum]

granted, now you are made of paper, and you are dropped on water, enjoy

i wish i had something to break windows.

[migidu]

granted, but you never got to break windows with that something


i wish i knew better so i had no infractions in wb

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but I pwn you to death for spamming with your infraction everywhere!

I wish migidu wouldn't make such a big deal of infractions... Like wtf? everyone had one or more... GET OVER IT!

[migidu]

oh, really ? there's always a first time. sure, i got over it.


i wish it was easier to get reps than infractions

[Dark_hunter4]

granted but you got magnetized to your computer screen since you were constantly getting rep that you withered and died.

I wish for my cracker to turn back into a fresh cookie.

[muradin]

Granted, but then an army of ants killed you and ate it, in front of your dead eyes.

I wish that penguins ruled the earth, lived forever, and I ruled them, they could not be harmed in anyway.

Corrupt that!

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, the your choices are, the penguins die of the heat, you of the cold, or they turn against you. Enjoy.

:mad:
I want my cookie, I wish to be resurected and get another cookie. Then burn the ants to hell!

[SolidSamurai]

The ants burn your cookie in hell.

I wish I was hell.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted. Now you're in hell.

I wish I was better with the worldedit triggers.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but you get so good you get sued for infraction of rights (Go read the charter =D), and end up in jail with a large hairy man names Susie.

Enjoy :)

I wish I wasnt suspended for 5 days >>

(Oh wait, no im totally enjoying my suspension/vacation)

[Mr.Bad]

Granted, you still have to go to school, but you spend your time in the Principle's office, and you still get F's on any tests/homework given during the time period.

I wish Blizzard would resurrect SC: Ghost in addition to creating SC2.

[muradin]

Granted, but then they require computers that isn't real to play.

I wish I was cold proof, penguins were heat proof, penguins wouldn't try to overthrow me, and the wish above came back in affect.

[Mr.Bad]

Uh, what?

I wish that muradin would repeat what he said, this time more slowly.

[pytum]

Granted, but then they require computers that isn't real to play.

thats why the PS3 is here, baby!



Uh, what?

I wish that muradin would repeat what he said, this time more slowly.


granted, now enjoy it .0001 frames per second

i wish the personal pronoun "Thou" was used more often

[Starcraft78cwal]

Thou wish is granted, but it is not only used more often, but all the time.

I wish this wish wouldn't get corrupted.

[migidu]

granted, but all the other corrupted people killed you since they dont like people who dont get corrupted.


i wish for TPBM not to corrupt my wish.

[QuothTheRaven]

I wish to kick a priest in the shin, AND get away with it.
Serves you right for masturbation, strip clubs, breaking the 10 commandments, and molesting random children at the church.

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, you get away with it " in the eyes of god " so says the priest, but you can barely hear him as your on your knees, screaming... as he... well..

Use your imagination.

I wish SOA had actually corrupted cwal's wish like he was supposed too

[Ghelgath]

Granted, but it would've came out lame anyways.

I wish I had more free time =(

[Polkaman]

Granted, but everything 'fun' gets blown up and ur stuck wit nothin

I wish i could have a non-life threatening burger.

[muradin]

Granted, but it has no taste at all.

I wish I never had to do homework.

[Dark_hunter4]

Granted, you just have a ton of school work that cant possibly be done in a day, and if you dont have it finished you take 3 lashings for each problem not done.

I wish I had a demon cookie.

[muradin]

Granted, but then a duck appears out of nowhere and eats it.

I wish that I was able to go back in time, and still come back to normal time (the present), without any consequences.

[Polkaman]

Granted, But you die before you can go back in time to reverse.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

I wish Polkaman wished something.

[pytum]

granted, he wished for a red cock that sings

i wish i was 10 foot tall and i was healthy, and i could found shoes, and all kind of vestiments for men for my size and nothing happened to my 21st member, and now one could say things bad at me

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but you implode in on yourself (inner bone compression resulting from an absurdly skinny musculoskeletal structure; such a thing is natural for humans, but your genetics, mainly being human, apparently just didn't cut you out for being 10 feet tall). Also, some wannabe bully guy wanted to call you a bean pole, but was frustrated by the fact he couldn't due to that law you just created with your wish, resulting in him committing suicide out of prolonged stress that originally stemmed from schools rallying to anti-bullying efforts, wearing pink, and advocating bully awareness. His family just sewed you and because they just realized you've been induced into a perma-coma resulting from inferior genetic bone implosion, they hire a ninja assassin to pull the plug on you, killing you in your sleep and eliminating whatever tasteful dreams you might of had in that coma of yours. The remnants of the family then committed suicide.

No one wins in that situation. You're going to hell.

I wish I could go to hell and be tortured for eternity with no drawbacks or fall backs whatsoever. :D

[muradin]

Eternity isn't very long for the devil, so he let's you go back to earth, where you turn up in NYC Time Square during The New years celebration, so everyone in the world (basically) sees you, cut up, bruised, torture, mutilated, etc. etc., then you die.

Which, to a normal person who doesn't enjoy being tortured, would be a good thing.

I wish I had a corrupted wish.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you die in 3 seconds.

I wish!

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but your exclamation mark slowly turns into a question mark, which is about as straight as you are in your choices between men and women.

Thats not very straight, by the way
Im implying that your gay.

I wish people would stop considering curling a sport

[Hawthorne]

Granted, when all of the homosexuals on Earth die out, but since you're one of that tribe, I'm sorry to inform you, that you're about to drop dead.

I wish all gay guys would be called Dick :)

[SolidSamurai]

Okay Dick 0lolol

I wish I my name was Jesus^2 and were thus awesome

[Polkaman]

Granted, but god rejects you for being a wanna-be and then shocks you with lightning. agian, and agina, and agian...

granted, he wished for a red cock that sings
Um...

I wish that we could have a porn class in school. And its not guy porn. Or animal porn. Or mixture porn. or corn.

[Hawthorne]

Granted, but it's censored porn! :D or better yet, British Porn!

I wish Serbia would invade Albania :P

[Polkaman]

Granted, but you didn't know that it would become true and u went to Albania. U Got Shot :P

I wish that i didn't post this post.

[pytum]

granted, but anyways you posted it

I wish the chicks of my school were more hot

[Mjolniir]

granted, but they are all killer aliens in disguise. Have fun!!!

i wish...that...um...huh...that...starcraft2 becomes perfect...and that the person below me dies before corrupting my wish.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but you.... you.... *suffers very severe and piercingly, gut-wrenchingly simultaneous heart attack/stroke* No...! *gasp* Must.... *suicide bombs mjolnir thus killing both SolidSamurai and mjolnir simultaneously*

I wish for borat's sexy drown watch (http://vidfan.com/media/897/Borats-Sexy-Drown-Watch---Deleted-Scene.html) to appear on "Borat: Touring USA, yadda yadda, etc." as an official scene in the past, thus making it official and not considered a deleted scene in the present.

[pytum]

granted, but you are caught by uzbekistan people and you get owned.

i wish TPAM didnt like Borat's movie

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, I've never seen it so you can only conclude that I don't really like it. But then, such a solution is inconclusive in itself, so the mere suggestion of inconclusiveness prompts religions (mainly astrology) to hunt pytum down and simultaneously acupuncture and burn him at the stake.

I wish I had a better computer, so that when I say 'Okay, computer', it says 'Okay SolidSamurai, go!', and I would do a disco/techno/funk-hybrid/breakdance jig down complete with electronically synthesized syncopated kick-ass beats complete with music as composed by none other than computer. Ultimately this would allow it to be really fast and allow none other than me to ride Japanese satellites.

[Polkaman]

Granted, but the music detonates a grenade inside the computer.

I wish that I had a big poster that gave me the if-i-were-u-i-wouldnt-go-pee look.

AND IT BE LIKE
THIS BIG

[Tuxinator]

Granted, but (wow what a great time for a dick size joke, eh?, no, no, not today) The person giving you the if-i-were-u-i-wouldnt-go-pee look is Gunmonk. Whatcha gonna do now?

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but linux just crashed because your presence resulted in an intolerably unacceptable error. When you boot up again, you get a message of 'cannot find operating system'. And then the penguin clubbed you to death because he thought you were a seal pushin' on his territory.

I wish that gunmonk were really a monk with guns and because monks are all down with peace, they'd kick him out of the monastery and a part of him would die, ultimately forcing him into depressive silence for a few reasonably peaceful decades.

And I wish because of that I could hold my breath and swim in space, oh my god.

Ultimately, I wish that these 2 wishes were to create a paradox and confuse the hell out of the corruptor-to-be.

[pytum]

granted, but you only held your breath for 10 seconds and you die

i wish China became the new superuberpower in this world

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but now you get a female chinese masseuse hoping to give you a 'happy ending' at the end of your session. The thought scares you so, that you and your apparent homosexuality bolt out of the room, forcing the lady to chase after you for a full 40 minutes before you brutally break your leg falling down concrete steps. She then offers you a free egg roll as your 'happy ending', gaffawing cruelly at your paranoia.

I wish I could be the next 'dog the bounty hunter' and only have to pay my crew 15 bucks, complete with a chubby bitch that looked just like me, but chubby with boobs large enough to conceal her face and long blond hair.

[Polkaman]

Granted, but ur now a bounty and you die.

I wish that Ub3r was spelled U-b-m-r
Dunno :P

[Tuxinator]

Granted but linux just crashed because your presence resulted in an intolerably unacceptable error. When you boot up again, you get a message of 'cannot find operating system'. And then the penguin clubbed you to death because he thought you were a seal pushin' on his territory.


Tux is my homie, he wouldnt do that. And it wouldnt say that. It'd give me shit about part of the kernel missing.



Granted, but the meaning of the word is changed so that it now means "i love guys"

[Polkaman]

... Your Wish Tuxinator?

I wish that i had 5 non-destructable awesome computers.

[Tuxinator]

... Your Wish Tuxinator?


Indeed i may have forgot this...


Granted but they all run Windows Millenium.




I wish i had a better memmory

[pytum]

granted, now you suffer a violation from a black guy and you remember every milisecond from that violation until you die...

i wish i had something to destroy the Sun

[Polkaman]

Granted, but the sun gets pissed and eats you.

I wish that i had 3 dollars.

[pytum]

granted, but to grant that wish, you needed 3 dollars, and you get owned

i wish i swam from new york to spain in 5 minutes

[QuothTheRaven]

granted, but to grant that wish, you needed 3 dollars, and you get owned

i wish i swam from new york to spain in 5 minutes

Granted, on the return trip you get caught in a Chinese(WTF) fishing net, processed, then flipper eats you.

I wish for a gold xbox live membership.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but Visa assassinates you for not conceding to their 'Visa Platinum Plus Infinity Plus One' membership card for insane amounts of reward points, the ability to reverse debt the bank you take loans from and drive them out of business, as well as the ability to tour nigeria for like NO AIR MILES WHATSOEVER and pwn every nigerian businessman who ever walked the face of nigeria, or Africa or even earth for that matter.

You're now depressed that you didn't jump at the oppurtunity to sieze such a credit card as this, and you seek out and eventually discover an unecessarily agonizing way to commit suicide. Which is unfortunate, because your credit was too crap to qualify anyway. You would've had to be the credit master.

I wish ebay bought world of warcraft and transformed it into a shitty 12-bit 2-d game for facebook, forcing blizz to work on diablo 3, starcraft 3, world of starcraft, and warcraft 4 (but it'd pale in comparison).

[muradin]

Granted, but then the head producers all die, which causes mass suicide for the other people working on the game, so that no one ends up making any of those. And Starcraft 2 would be stopped then too.

I wish I had 3 more wishes.

[pytum]

granted, but no one wants to hear them, and all of those are crap

i wish i could live in the space without any kind of thing that helps me to live in the space, of course being healthy and nothing bad happened to me when i am in the space

[muradin]

Ok, but a meteor hits earth causing a huge chunk of it to fly towards you, so you end up flaming through the atmosphere, into a volcano, through the volcano, and into the earth's core. And then you melt.

I wish for playstation players to go over to nintendo, who has started making better games because of this wish.

[Mjolniir]

granted, but sony found out you made the wish and digitzes you into a first person shooter. then some three year old gets on his dad's computer and disembowels you with a chainsaw, but before you die he pauses the game, planning to come back later. then the world ends. the computer, being in a bunker and powered by a perpetual energy generator continues to run. you spend eternity in excruciating agony.

i wish to be immortal, and that nothing bad happens to anything, or anyone, that matters to me.

[QuothTheRaven]

granted, but sony found out you made the wish and digitzes you into a first person shooter. then some three year old gets on his dad's computer and disembowels you with a chainsaw, but before you die he pauses the game, planning to come back later. then the world ends. the computer, being in a bunker and powered by a perpetual energy generator continues to run. you spend eternity in excruciating agony.

i wish to be immortal, and that nothing bad happens to anything, or anyone, that matters to me.

Granted, but Kongurous deletes your post. Your powers are gone, you choke on a chicken bone and die. Your mom trips over your corpse and snaps her neck. She dies also, the rest of your loved ones trip over the ever growing corpse pile and die the same way.

I wish I had 3 extra sets of balls surgically fused to my original set and reinforced with covenant armor plating. Taken directly from a covenant capital ship.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but you can't walk, dumbass.

I wish I could walk. *sniff*

[muradin]

Granted, but it turns out that your slower than a snail (which apparently takes like 10k seconds or something at best to do a mile.)

I wish for the person below me to not understand my wish. Which is this wish. Or is it?

[FrankZ]

Granted. But your brain begins to shrink and become smaller than a granule of sugar because of such stupid wish.

I wish Google provides torrent, adult, and pr0n searches.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted. Some asian dude working for google busts down your home with a battering ram, smacka-you-in-da-mouth-and-upside-the-head/face, and then locks a usb flashdrive to your computer which then promptly uploads child pr0n to your homepage, HD, screensaver, wallpaper, and desktop. You know what happens next. He's got back up files that instantly duplicate themselves and replace anything you try to delete and little program hidden from your 'processes' that prevents you from removing these self-cloning hidden back up files. Of course, you're instantly traced and arrested, and gang banged in jail/prison.

The answer is, all of that already exists on google.

To muradin, granted but you think I don't understand your wish. You think. You development schizo paranoia and eventually end up living on the street, shitting down chimneys at christmas time.

I wish for pony.

[FrankZ]

Granted. Barbie Collectibles Rapunzel Edition. Pwetty pony! Want some cwandy? Let's have a tea pawty!

I wish I had a llama.

[muradin]

Granted, but then it turns into an alpaca that eats you alive. Because it can.

I wish for something weird not to happen.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But something terrible will happen every minute or two at the most.

I wish Google owned Microsoft so MS Programs would be free.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted. But something terrible will happen every minute or two at the most.

I wish Google owned Microsoft so MS Programs would be free.

Granted, but Bill gates assassinates Larry Page and Sergey Brin and all his affiliates. Shortly after Google crashes from a backdoor computer virus planted by Microsoft as a fail safe, you lose all the kiddy porn you uploaded. The stock market crashes, Russia takes advantage and bombs the US with a secret stash of arms. Russians now control everyday life and all sentences spoken and written must be in Soviet Russia joke format.
"In soviet Russia you do not fuck Russia, Russia fucks you!"

Bill gates denies all claims then buys Cuba with his vast wealth. Then enforces it with more illeagle artilary and missles.

The super powers are now Uber vista and Soviet Russia.

I wish for additional armored ballsacks to be fused to add to my growing collection and a covenant battleship to help me move around.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But Uber Vista holds all licensing material for any kind of ship in the world and it turns out that you use Mac so king Bill Gates called of SpawnOfMajimboo and SpawnOfGoko u to assassinate you.

I wish I was super man.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but batman arms a cryptinite plastic explosive explosive in your toilet. The next time you take a shit you die horribly.

I wish to be the pope.

[muradin]

Granted. The pope from a game my friend showed me on the internet. I'll edit it to tell you the name of the game if I find it. But he's like, KILLER POPE!! Unless that's the pope you were talking about because if it is, the magical engine thingy that grants all these wishes will find out and then kill you because he can. Or it. Or she.

I wish for a TPBM to quote this message.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted. The pope from a game my friend showed me on the internet. I'll edit it to tell you the name of the game if I find it. But he's like, KILLER POPE!! Unless that's the pope you were talking about because if it is, the magical engine thingy that grants all these wishes will find out and then kill you because he can. Or it. Or she.

I wish for a TPBM to quote this message.
Granted, but I pwn you.

I wish I had more ideas for wishes.

[FrankZ]

Granted. Your fingers all got cut off and you swallowed your tongue so you can neither type nor speak.

I wish I had a bionic, err, banana.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted. Barbie Collectibles Rapunzel Edition. Pwetty pony! Want some cwandy? Let's have a tea pawty!

Dude you're supposed to actually corrupt my wish, not satisfy my deepest desires. But whatever.

Granted, but it's a bananasnake (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_that_don%27t_exist%2C_but_should#B anana_snake).

I wish I could start my own net-televised series about me owning people in videogames and make hundreds of thousands of dollars every episode.

[QuothTheRaven]

Dude you're supposed to actually corrupt my wish, not satisfy my deepest desires. But whatever.

Granted, but it's a bananasnake (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_that_don%27t_exist%2C_but_should#B anana_snake).

I wish I could start my own net-televised series about me owning people in videogames and make hundreds of thousands of dollars every episode.
Granted, but a sore loser halo attic rapes your dog in the name of vengeance. You let your dog in and it explodes, you spend the whole day cleaning the cat guts off your walls. You miss work and you are fired, the halo noob giggles with glee while masturbating to the 6 o clock news of your show's demise.

I wish it was legal to consume infants.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But you don't exist because your mom ate you when your were born.

I wish I had a cock rocket.

[Polkaman]

Granted, But it blasted off, sending you to mars.

I wish that i got aids

[pytum]

granted, but you got aids from a gay

i wish i had COD 4 right now

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but you can't even beat it on easy. You commit suicide shortly after.

I wish I had a roll of toilet paper.

[pytum]

granted, but it was already used by a guy with diahrrea, enjoy cleaning yourself up with it

i wish for 50 real bucks right now, free of drugs or any diseases

[Ghelgath]

Granted, but it was counterfeit and you're arrested.

I wish I had more free time during the day.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but your gay porno directer fires you after ditching another film.

I wish for a bullet in my liver.

[Polkaman]

Granted, but it was a machine gun that fired it so now u have bullets in your head to your toes. =D

I wish for fried chicken.

[Galiant]

granted but it was from mcdonalds

bork

[Polkaman]

Whats bork???

I wish Wendy's went out of buisness

[Jaxander]

Wendy's goes out of business, followed by the horrible rise of Jack-in-the-Box becoming the fast food king nationwide, establishing a fast food monopoly and serving horrible food to everyone whether they like it or not.

I wish college didn't cost so much.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but you get very low level education.

I wish Tauren Marine were real in SC2, and not just an April's Fool joke.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but blizz removes m&ms completely and then just says 'ahh fuck it' so now the med-evac ship heals people for 1 health per 5 seconds, carries noobs and commits suicide whenever you try to micro it.

*cough* cow marine is in the editor *hack wheeze'n'cough*

I wish I had a gun.

[QuothTheRaven]

Granted, but it's unloaded.

I wish for a hand gernade.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but the pin's been pulled and your hands are covered in grease.

I wish I could bowl a 300 game.

[muradin]

Granted, but as your about to get your last strike, you find out that someone you were bowling with replaced your ball with a bomb. Then you die.

I wish for everything ever wished before by anybody in this thread.

[Polkaman]

Granted, but before it happens this thread is deleted.

I Wish I Got Pwned

[muradin]

Granted, but you get pwned by Chuck Norris, who is too powerful for the world to take, let alone you, so you end up round house kicked, which causes a rip in the space time continuim thingy, which means that you get pwned, then unpwned, then pwned, then unpwned, so much that your reduced to ashes, which is reduced to nothing. Then Norris gets bored because you aren't even close to powerful enough to be a dull knife against a rock (this is getting long), so you end up half nothing, half alive. And then you die because your boody pours blood out your side. And then you come back alive, completely unpwned because Chuck Norris doesn't care if you got unpwned.

I wish for Chuck Norris to become president, which I don't have to wish for because he already runs the universe, and thinks the U.S. is too weak to be ruled by him.

Chuck Norris for President

[Polkaman]

Granted, but then mars gets jelous and crashs into earth.

I WISH 40 WAS 20 NOW

[Gunmonk]

okay... but 40+20=60

I wish I was mudkip

[Polkaman]

Granted, but the genie thought you said mud so u turn into mud :P

I wish i were a pile of shit

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but being a pile of shit is against the law, so you're sent to jail forever.

I wish I had a night elf girlfriend.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but like all Night Elf females, it's being played by either an overwieght male with carpel tunnel, or a 12 year old who's really horny.

I wish this thread would be closed.

[FrankZ]

Granted. No opposition.

I wish this thread would come back open again.

[pytum]

granted, no opposition

i wish we had another world war, to be more tecnologically advanced

[Starcraft78cwal]

You get trapped under a rock during the war and no one finds you.

I wish my disc drive worked.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But all your discs fail.

I wish our VSAT connection would be fixed by today. :-\

[BrotherGreen]

Granted, but because I dont know what a VSAT connection is, your cat dies.

I wish fluffy didnt have to go.

[FrankZ]

Granted, but every night fluffy bothers you and you get a freak insomnia causing your brain to incoherently rot.

I wish Microsoft did not ever invent Office Assistants.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but now they create an assistant for every other MS application. Windows, WMP, IE, uh... and they invent the Office ones again. Just because they don't like you.

I wish my sister never scrapped my PC a month ago, so I could use the World Editor and WCIII again.

[Tuxinator]

Granted, but the World Editor is broken, and WCIII has all the night elves replaced with Gay Asian Porno figures

I wish i was bigger...

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but the only thing that really got bigger was your colon. Which became a tumor, and doctors had to give you an 800 hour colon exam prior to an 80,000 hour wait time (you went to canada 'cause it cost less) before they painfully removed it from you, forgetting to sedate you because they were tired. You died of blood loss and lack of colon.

I wish I had a girlfriend that weighed between 80 - 100 pounds mostly muscle and was between a height of 5'1 and 5'8.

[pytum]

granted, but she has ugly teeth and no tits

i wish fat women in this world disappear forever(do not include my family, whether are fat or not)

[FrankZ]

Granted. But all slim women die.

I wish that I have fifteen more wishes.

[Mjolniir]

granted, but each of the fifteen is twisted to a factor of 10 of the last wish.

i wish that i could ace all these god damned projects...

[FrankZ]

Granted. But all your other educational areas get below average.

I wish that * **** *** *****.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but the * *** is all revealed to be ******* and you end up ****ing the ****** in the **** for the whole ****ing world to see.

I wish I knew what the **** I just said.

[SolidSamurai]

You now know what the fuck you just said, but you got the ban whip.

I wish that sometimes, I could confuse myself. And sound like the singer of NIN when I say that.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but you OD on sex, drugs and rock and roll.

I wish SolidSamurai hadn't ODed...wait, no I wish I had a Pepsi.

[SolidSamurai]

I wish that Jax filled with such regret that he formed a physical manifestation of a dark pool labeled 'omfg regret!' and that it devoured him in an unecessarily messy and painful way.

[Jaxander]

I wish......

I wish I had a good comeback for that one.

[SolidSamurai]

I wish I felt the need to own Jax further.

[Jaxander]

I wish I knew when to stop posting.

[SolidSamurai]

I wish I could post until I got 'posting spree' and leveled up.

[FrankZ]

I wish you did not.

[pytum]

granted, but he got banned

i wish everyone followed the rulz

[FrankZ]

Granted, I am now starting to.

I wish pytum isn't such a kill joy.

[Jaxander]

Granted, but that's never going to happen, so it's not actually granted.

I wish that I had a good wish.

[pytum]

granted, but it was so good that became a lame wish

i wish i jumped 10 times my height, and i could resist the landing perfectly and painless