Corrupt a Wish!

[BludSyko]

Granted. Here you go! A ship made out of air! (Some assembly required)

I wish I had a flamethrower.

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted but you burn your self, your friends and your family. now everyones dead and you're trapped in Hell with Diablo doing unspeakable things to your rear end.

I wish I could turn invisible at will and become visible again any time I wanted.

[AzVortez]

Granted, but only for two seconds every year.

I wish nobody could corrupt my wish.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, it just sort of spontaneously corrupts itself. Amazing!

I wish I could paint well. Permanently, I don't want another 'for __ seconds' answer. :D

[AzVortez]

Granted. However, nobody can see your paintings.

I wish people were like frisebees; easy to throw and spin alot.

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted. People are like frisbees, but they have enormous razor-sharp blades on the side that rip you open if you try to throw them.

I wish that I could just plug a wire into my head and learn everything I needed to for school and not do the work, but still pass with an impressive GPA so I can get into a good college.

[AzVortez]

granted, but you forget everything and end up going to a community college instead.

i wish that people bounced around instead of walking.

[Hasharin]

yes, everyone dies of aneurizms (sp?)

I wish that i had teh courage to ask this girl out and that I wont be rejected.

[AzVortez]

done. you rejected her

i wish TPBM would post a funny corruption

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but you die before you could ask her.

I wish I had a Marine suit.

[AzVortez]

AAAARGH! PARALELL POST!
granted. you suffocate in it.
i wish nothing negative ever happenes to me.

[Hasharin]

nothing positive happens either. Your life continues to spiral around pointlessly.

I wish I knew teh secret of interstellar travel

[AzVortez]

you find out and the aliens come and kidnap you for finding out.

i wish we had technology like starcraft

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but you just got imprisoned by a branded terrorist in cyberspace mind meld to be framed and sent to prison where you'll be made the pleasure slave of some 300 pound all muscle sociopath named Jim.

I wish I had a multiple trillions of dollars so that I could override all stock exchanges in the US, and urinate on Wall Street.

[AzVortez]

granted. the president orders you to be assassinated.

i wish i could run around naked and not be sterotyped.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but people makes fun of your thingies and you won't show your face again in the society.

I wish I was a noob (more than I am).

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted. you are so n00b15h that no one wants to play against you for fear of totally owning you and causing you to cry to your mommy.

I wish I had a fully functional warp-blade that I could use.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but it doesn't fit properly on your arm (naturally, protoss are much larger) and when you're waving it around to impress people it slides loose and cuts off your legs. You get to keep it though.

I wish I could run paraworld on my computer.

[TheDarkestShado]

Protoss are taller but they are very skinny. so it probly would fit

Granted but paraworld crashes yor computer and everybody stops using paraworld. so your comp. is ruined for nothing.

I wish that someone would look at my pictures on starcraft.org. I'm TheDarkestShadow. Please! I just made a totally awesome Thor out of legos!

[masterofhobbiton]

Paraworld has a single player and an AI, I don't see how other people not playing it would affect me. :/

Granted, someone finally tries to look at your pictures, but can't find any of them because they're not on the new art list or anything and give up. (pm me a link and I'll look at it :D)

I wish my comp didn't take so long to render out sprites.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but now it will take so long time rendering everything else because of the comp uses all its power on sprites.

I wish I could use the triggers in the WCIII World Editor.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but then it chooses to crash while hosting said triggered maps and then insta-downloading kiddie porn pop ups to your desktop and similar material in file format to all your unused shared folders available via lan in your neighborhood. They are lacerated with worm and burnination viruses such that they corrupt your 300 dollar spyware and anti-virus protection.

And then an arrogant asian salesman pees in your toilet case so that when you flush, pee comes out.

I wish the world collided with mars so as to take care of those alien bastards if they ever chose to start existing.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but it turns out that your preemptive strike against the martians triggers a whole terminatoresque war between humans and the opressed martians (the few who survived the impact) and a single martian is sent back in time to kill you to prevent you from making the above wish to avoid decimating the martian population. I expect all records of your posts to be dissapearing any second now...

I wish I had a dinosaur as a pet; something like a heterodontosaurus or something.

[West]

Granted, but the heterodontosaurus hides in your bathroom and jumps into the shower with you and starts eating you leading with blood spraying everywhere and flooding water with blood leading investigators to check it out making the conclusion that it was suicide, with you chopping off all your limbs until your arm was left.

i wish i had enough money to buy blizzard then cancel sc2 just to piss everyone off :D

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but someone traces and garrote-kills you in your home, stripping your corpse naked whilst hanging you on a noose to make it look like it was auto-erotic suicide. Your family is terribly embarrassed, and the nerds that you wanted so badly to piss off are satisfied, despite you having spent several hundred mill to buy a corporation in the first place. And because you didn't write a will, your finances were distributed to that guy (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/That_guy).

I wish that I was dead!

[BludSyko]

Granted. I hope you enjoy fire, torture, and sadomy.

I wish I was a ninja!

[masterofhobbiton]

Heterodontosaurus is an herbivore. :/

Granted, you're a ninja. You're not a very good one though, and you end up being crippled when trying to perform ninja-ly feats like arrow catching and ceiling climbing.

I wish I was better at math.

[SolidSamurai]

Dammit BludSyko, I expected something like 'Granted, but you're dead.'

Granted, but the other jealous kiddies bribe the teacher with money they stole from you to give you bad marks anyway.

I wish I had such good physique, charm, and wisdom that hookers would pay me for my sex.

[Tuxinator]

granted, but the only hooker you could get would be your mom.

I wish i was a zombie, and wouldnt have to go to jail for eating babies

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but you are shot in the head by a black cop with a shotgun instead.

I wish that this wish wasn't corrupted.

[West]

granted. sadly, unstead of your wish not getting corrupted the whole world nuked the crap outta eachother and your the LAST MAN ON EARTH because of your poor bastard self :D

[masterofhobbiton]

No wish??

o_O



....

*ponders what to do now*

[pytum]

granted, no wish

i wish i had the answer to all the questions

[TheDarkestShado]

granted. 42

I wish I had real magic powers that were actually useful.

[Tuxinator]

Fine but, useful is defind by bush as "making more cowboy hats"

I wish i had a giant Kangaroo rat that i could ride to school, and that eats livers. and his name is buddy!

[UMSLdragon]

Granted, but Buddy ate your liver (eat your heart out!)

I wish I had a fenguin...

[Tuxinator]

Wth fenguin? ...

If thats a fat looking penguin, granted, but however its tux, and he totaly destroyed your computer.

I wish my car wouldn't bounce off fat people...

[BludSyko]

Granted. Now it bounces off of you whenever you touch it.

I wish they made Halo 3, GTA, or Call of Duty for Wii.

[pytum]

granted, but you will be too old to play (maybe the next 50 years)

i wish i had the power to decide about the crasiest day of november, when the shops give nice prices

[UMSLdragon]

granted, but you missed it... but that's ok, because you've just become a panhandler

I wish I didn't have so many things to do

[Tuxinator]

Granted, the only things you can do are eat sleep and shit.

I wish i had 1000 dollers

[UMSLdragon]

Granted. *You are handed a thousand "dollers"*

I wish i had tweezers at the moment to pull out my sliver I gotz in construction this morning...

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but the process of pulling it out is so darn painful that you develop a migraine that becomes even more painstakingly painful, such that you can't work for a month. And you can't get paid either, because your boss's a bitch and the Union forgot about you.


I wish I were married to a multimillionaire hot chick.

[pytum]

granted, you are married, by separated goods, with a 70 year old lady with fever( 41 centigrades); and she dies after getting married and you are not included in her testament

i wish that i had more time to post in warboards (i think this is my thousandth post) :P :)

[Tuxinator]

Granted but, the only time you can post more than you already do is when your on the shitter.

I wish i had a computer by my shitter.

[BludSyko]

Granted. Your computer is now in the shitter and is full of urine and feces.

I wish I had some kickass bling.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but it kicks your ass too with its awesomeness and you can't bear to keep it.

I wish I had a pizza.

[Zerg_eater]

granted, a pizza created a few million years ago.

I wish my name wasn't zerg_eater

[pytum]

granted, now your name is pepsi, but, since copyrights exists, pepsi demands you for using its name without permission and you go to jail for 6 months and there are a lot of gays inmates there...

i wish i had 500 real dollars above my bed right now

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted. They are several hundred kilometers above your bed. Expect them to come down relatively soon; assuming the wind doesn't scatter them first.

I wish I got into a good college and got to drop out of high school.

[Gunmonk]

Granted you "get in" on the janitorial staff.

I wish I had a utorrent

[MajorSonnwaitts]

granted, but it has a virus inside.

I wish the cables never make a mess on my MP3 player's earphones (I don't care about keyboard and mouse's cable mess, 'caues the mine are wireless).

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted: the nerve cables in your body take over the "messy-cable" job of the wire rebellion and you become a crippled, old, (dead) fool.

I wish my laundry folded itself.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, now they fold itself, thinks by itself and the laundry is thinking to kill you while you're sleeping.

I wish the world had a law that only hot chicks must be naked all the day and night...
And they don't argue.

[Hasharin]

No way i can corrupt that. Have fun, ill join you =D


I wish that Warcraft 2 worked on my computer XD

[pytum]

granted, now you have windows 95 and 16 mb of ram, enjoy :)

i wish that legend of zelda was released for playstation 3 (that would be awesome, fucking retarted awesomeness)

[TheDarkestShado]

not granted, bitch. Zelda's a Nintendo title and if PS3 took it, I would have to destroy all the people in the world. JK.

I wish it was 75- 93 degrees every day and there was no negative effect on the environment.

[SolidSamurai]

I wish the world had a law that only hot chicks must be naked all the day and night...
And they don't argue.

Granted but world leadership has just been handed over to the most intelligent among them, through pure seduction. They rule over you, and you may never be allowed to touch them. Ever. Then alot of pissed off people (mostly fat chicks, female politicians, moral fundamentalists and such) beat you to death for you affecting the progress of mankind so.

JK.
Jesus Killer? What?!

TPAM: Granted, but everyone dies of heat stroke and those who are left to survive eat and kill each other out of pure stress induced madness; and thus, the environment will never be affected by mankind ever again.

Personally, I say screw the environment!

I wish I owned a starship so that I could go startrekking across teh univarse.

[pytum]

granted, but the US goverment takes that away from you saying that that is a ultrasecret project of them, and you get killed by masterchief

i wish i had magical pants, where i can take out money from my pocket forever and ever, till i die

[DarkMirror]

Granted. The amount of money you can withdraw from them is equal to 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000001 of a cent. Also, to extract that it takes over three days. Have fun get getting rich.

I wish that I could have every wish in this thread.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but everyone who made a wish in this thread will kill you (I'll bring the Battlecruiser.)

I wish I had bullets for my rifle.

[pytum]

granted, you join the mafia

i wish i had better liquid paper

[Dem0nS1ayer]

Granted, but the liquid is hot pink.

I wish I had more muscles.

[pytum]

granted, you have an extra arm (in your left buttock)

i wish i had something to uncorrupt wishes

[InfinityComplex]

They become uncorrupted, but through the powers of evilness, they become worst.

I wish I was able to buy my computer upgrades.

[AzVortez]

granted, but you spent every last cent on them and they turned out to be faulty

i wish i was evil

[pytum]

granted, the devil needs someone to clean his big... oracle and you are the best in doing that enjoy

i wish i could move fast

[Tuxinator]

Granted but only when standing on your hands.

I wish macs could run XP

[masterofhobbiton]

Um, granted. Here's some background info: http://www.winxponmac.com/

I wish I had an XBox360.

[pytum]

granted, but when you turn it on, it gets the red ring of death and it explodes...

i wish i had the knowledge of all humanity and god per 20

[Galiant]

granted but I surpass your knowledge and power by 1

I wish I wasn;t in seminary

[TheDarkestShado]

granted. Now you're in semEnary. guess what happens there.

I wish I had a magical drinking glass that filled itself up with whatever I want, and it never breaks. It also has no negative effects on my health.

[SolidSamurai]

I wish that I could have every wish in this thread.

Granted. Every corrupted wish has now been officially entitled to you.

TPAM: Granted, but now it takes 30 times as long to urinate as you normally would, not to mention it burns like hell. Alot. Some hobo just kicked you in the crotch and stole your glass, by the way.

I wish all corruption that people tried to corrupt my wishes with was deflected back to them with my magical wall. If the wall doesn't apply, then the corruption is automatically redirected to the magical revolving door that overturns corruption back to the commiter. Additionally, an unbreakable, undefiable legal document exists that clarifies all this, and cannot be broken (legally or physically), as it is considered constitional by way of the UN. Illegal attempts to break it are met by gunfire (if that were even possible, considering the only thing I can think of is a physical way to tear it up).

To TPAM: That isn't a negative effect by the way. Sometimes it's fun when your pee burns!

[TheDarkestShado]

why am I TPAM?

Granted, but you use a mirror to reflect corruption, so someone throws a really hard rock (which can't be destroyed by gunfire) and breaks all your reflective devices.

I wish I could transform into anything for as long as I want and change back whenever I want (also for as long as I want).

[Hasharin]

Granted, whenever you see someone you like, you transform into a large, throbbing wang (sorry for the disturbing image XD)

I wish that I was a little better at wrestling than i am now.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. You a little better at WWE for N64 than you are now.

I wish i wasnt AWOL from WB for so long.

[UMSLdragon]

Granted, WB became non existannt. No worries now.

I wish I wasn't told what "poon" ment... uhg

[Dem0nS1ayer]

granted, but while erasing the definition of "poon" from your memory, all of your other information gets erased by accident.

I wish that I knew a wish that couldn't be corrupted easily.

[pytum]

granted, but it is in chinese (traditional)

i wish i had some powerful PC

[TheDarkestShado]

granted. you have some powerful PC... political correctness. you walk around yelling "he/she/it told me that... but it's only a rumor."

I wish my mp3 player's battery lasted a lot longer.

[Hasharin]

granted, but it is in chinese (traditional)

i wish i had some powerful PC

granted, you have a powerful ProtossChick and she drives you crazy =D


anyways...

it lasts longer. and wider. your MP3 is now massive.

[TheDarkestShado]

HMMMMMMM...
No wish. Granted. You no longer exist.

I wish Christmas would hurry the hell up and get here already.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But you die. And Welcome to WB.

I wish I had more cake

[Hasharin]

POISON cake. enjoy.

I wish that my friends were online now -_______-

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But they have blocked you.

I wish I had more juice.

[pytum]

granted, now you have white and dense juice... water of rice

i wish i had the knowledge to create a website to track hackers

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but it gets hacked almost immediately after it goes online.

I wish my family celebrated christmas.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, your family is condemned to lose all of their money in crappy decorations and cheap and crappy gifts in December.

I wish I had an Internet connection at home.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But it sucks.

I wish I had glasses

[Hasharin]

you do, but they are 10cm thick and glossy and u cant see sh!t.

I wish that chistmas came sooner, and everything with it was perfect, including the aftermath and everything that happened during and before the time.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. Its perfect cause you died. No-one really liked you anyway.











I wish I had more tea,of the iced variety

[pytum]

granted, but it doesnt come with sugar... enjoy :)

i wish i had a ps3 for christmas

[TheOutcast]

Granted, but santa dies so you don't get it.

I wish I had photoshop so I don't have to get someone to make my sig. :(

[Zerg_eater]

granted, but you don't know how to use it...oOooooohhhhhh burnnneed


I wish i was an outcast

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted... wait. Who are you? oh yeah. you're that person that nobody pays attention to.

I wish I had a good car, my license, and insurance, and it was all set, and I don't (die/ get injured/ have negative health effects, etc.)

[Hasharin]

granted. you get mentally retarded.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, .

I wish TPAM wished something.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. He wishes for your death and it gets granted.


I wish i had tea, of the iced variety, without sugar.

[pytum]

granted, but it is expired, about 5 years ago

i wish i had the control over wal-mart

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. You die in a horrible trolley accident.

I wish i had more non-expired ice tea

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, a pipe is installed in your house from which iced tea constantly flows. But wait! There's no way to turn off the stream! You try to block up the pipe, but alas, your house and then neighboorhood are flooded. Then it all dries and it's sticky and disgusting.

I wish for stormtrooper armor. :D

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But you are now a fully poseable ACTION FIGURE in stormtrooper armor.

I wish BF2 worked. NOT "boyfriend 2" Battlefield 2

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted. You turn a sickly shade of pepto-bismol pink.

I wish I knew what some of these acronyms stood for. (kinda totally noobish)

[AzVortez]

Granted. you find out you've been using them in speech rather than on the internet

I wish people would stop saying "Roxorz my Soxorz"

[SolidSamurai]

You turn a sickly shade of pepto-bismol pink.
Now that was random.

Granted, but instead ppl will consistently say 'rocks my socks' with utmost entusiasm during a real life conversation, which gets a little annoying after awhile.

I wish teh protoss were real and it were teh future and teh protoss abducted me and that I gained teh psychic prowess and uber powerz to stop teh agents in the matrix and thus I were worshipped forevar and that I made love to teh oracle and and and that I possessed teh keys to teh time and spaces and that I were able to get 100% on expert in career mode for GH2 and that I had a really cute girlfriend that was a night elf.

[masterofhobbiton]

Woah. Um, okay. So, first off your Nelf girlfriend finds out about you and the oracle and goes on a bloody rampage, attacking some terrans who are under the jurisdiction of the protoss to protect under the ways of the khala, so the protoss disown you and your girlfriend and then the space orcs come and attack, making you lose your concentration and suddenly guys start pouring out of the matrix and conquer the whole tingel arm, forcing the Protoss to activate the halos and destroy the universe to stop their onslaught. Whew.

I wish I had better grades.

[Hasharin]

you are now in an higher grade: grade 12, and you dont understand anything so you fail.

I wish that i didnt get so much planning homework.

[Skydragon222]

Great now go design me a house. After all you now have home planning work

I wish that death would come swiftly to all the enemies of the imperium

[pytum]

granted, but all your friends are considered like enemy and they die

i wish i had some nice magical sneakers

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. They are blessed with the magical ability to eat you.
I wish my jeans fit me still.

[TheDarkestShado]

granted. but they go out of style and an anti-denim group hangs you.

I wish my cat would stop sleeping on my backpack (I have to clean the cat hair off every night).

[Skydragon222]

ok now an elephant is sleeping on your backpack

I wish I had super powers

[pytum]

granted, but they are too much to your body and you explode

i wish i had a ticket to fly to europe

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but the 'ticket' is really the postage on the cardboard and duct-tape box that you're being shipped there in.

I wish I had a fully functional android who obeyed my orders and didn't go on a bloody rampage or kill anything and stuff. :)

[pytum]

granted, but it is a man-like android and has the chip of "homosexuality" in, and you know the rest...

i wish everyone had christmas presents

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But yours kills you.

I wish I had more coffee.

[Galiant]

granted.. you can no longer sleep and you commit suicide because of that

I wish for a wish that wished itself a wish

[pytum]

granted, but it wished you to be its wish and you are converted in a thought and you disappear in the middle of the nothing

i wish i had a magical rod with i could break rocks with ease

[MajorSonnwaitts]

granted, but you accidentally break your head with ease

I wish I had a Mac.

[GroG]

Granted. I nice steamy bowl of mac 'n cheese helps fill your empty stomache.

I wish my truck didn't slide in ice and snow.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, it slides in the streets.

I wish I had a Stygian Desolator.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted, It desolates your face.

I wish i had more pizza

[Zerg_eater]

granted, rotten pizza.


I wish I had the worst wish ever.

[tremaparagon]

And thus God corrupts it by making whatever you wished for even worse, breaking its own record for worst wish

I wish the next poster corrupts this wish

[TheDarkestShado]

no.

I wish I didn't have to do my entire spanish project tonight. I need to stop procrastinating.

[pytum]

granted, now your spanish class has been changed by chinese traditional, and you begin since the beginning, enjoy :)

i wish i had something to play blueray discs

[SolidSamurai]

Granted. You get a PS3! The horror! :o

And if that weren't enough, you sold everything you owned in the process of obtaining one off the blackmarket that would only play blueray discs. And now you gotta hide from the feds, because it could be illegal hardware, which somehow qualifies it as a potential WMD.

I wish I could charge and fire ma own lazer, like the shoop da whoop proficient dudes (ie. doctor octagonapus) do. And then assert myself in school with the tenacity of king Leonidas.

[Mr.Bad]

Granted, shut up

I wish I had a beta version of Starcraft2

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but it turns out that the game in question is really something you misread as being 'StarCraft 2'; rather it is, in actual fact, 'StarCraft Z', which happens to be overhyped donkey shit. The beta itself is filled with so much adware that it turns your spybot and malware protection inside out, so that they commit vicious murder suicide on other apps. Your hard drive catches fire thereafter. And you need a new computer but your parents think it's all good, considering they're so tech blind as to think that a flaming computer is still operatable. Or maybe they simply hate you being on the thinkin' machine. Either one fits.

I wish I had a hot, elite gymnast girlfriend who knew how to use dual pistols and machine guns, with the power to persuade my enemies to commit malevolent things against themselves.

[pytum]

granted, but she gets cancer and you cannot cut her because she will kill you

i wish i had the power to learn german

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But you die.

I wish I had rotten pizza.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but you die of herpes.

I wish had higher grades, and was teh programmin' masta. And that my GF didn't have cancer. :(

[TheDarkestShado]

3 wishes. that be's a no-no.
Oh well.
Granted, your grades begin tripping on acid, you're the master of Public Access Television programming, and your girlfriend has AIDS because she's a dirty, horny slut who slept with all the patients while she was getting treated for cancer.

I wish I had a lot of LEGAL, FREE money that I didn't have to work for, and that I didn't die or have any similar or unsimilar negative effects.

[Mr.Bad]

Fine, granted, but you're a spoil-sport

I wish that Blizzard was making both Starcraft: Ghost and a Starcraft movie simultaneously to making Starcraft 2

[Jimmy_the_saint]

granted. But you die when its released.

I wish it wasnt raining.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but now it's hot as hell. Your town catches fire. TheDarkestShado's money melts.

I wish my GF didn't have AIDS.

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted, but now you have various STDs and every fatal, incurable disease in the world.

I wish it would snow at more opportune times. It never snows at the right time for school to be cancelled.(3pm-10pm. wtf)

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but since school is cancelled, you go outside to play with snowballs, and a crazy kamikaze granny goes ninja on you and then suicides, instantly blowing you up

I wish TPAM would be dead :)

[Mr.Bad]

Granted, but then it comes back as a zombie.

I wish I knew what TPAM was.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but i turn out to be a hitman who wants to kill you, and you end up in the grave

I wish people would join my mod team :(

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But they bring them various viruses that fuck your mod team up the ass.

I wish i had more peanuts.

[tremaparagon]

Granted, but they were peanuts from decades ago that were found in a warehouse in southern Cuba among millions of others. The thrice damned and infected with every bacteria currently explained in my biology book peanuts then infested your body and you implode.

I wish that one chick would notice me

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But she happens to have a wang.


I wish I didnt implode as a result of my last wish. I also wish I didnt go the other way as well.

[pytum]

1 wish, granted, you explode
2 wish, granted, you get infected by unknown bacteria

i wish i could control TPBM

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But i rebel and kill you.

I wish my juice was still here.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but there's a martian floating in it. o_O

I wish I didn't have finals.

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted. you skip class, fail them all, don't graduate, don't go to college, work a crappy minimum wage job, begin smoking crack, get fired, piss away all your money on drugs, and die in the gutter 20 yrs later, having lived an utterly pointless life.

I wish I could find a way to create a wish so bulletproof that no one could corrupt it.

[ZeratulStukov]

granted, but i pwn you :)

I wish Jimmy_the_saint gets banned 4ever and cannot return EVER

[tremaparagon]

Granted, but because of it, he spends 2 years tracking you down and eventually finds you, but rather than killing you right off, he slowly takes down every member of your family and leaves no evidence, and withing the next five years you descend into utter madness and end up taking your own life.

I wish I didn't have to go to math practice

[ZeratulStukov]

granted, but you die in a car accident

I wish TPAM would be a piece of toilet paper

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted, but because of it, he spends 2 years tracking you down and eventually finds you, but rather than killing you right off, he slowly takes down every member of your family and leaves no evidence, and withing the next five years you descend into utter madness and end up taking your own life.

I wish I didn't have to go to math practice


What are you? Fucing psychic of something? :D


Granted. But in the future toilet paper rebels and kills you.

[pytum]

Granted, but blank spaces dont count as wish

I wish that the people didnt forget to post their wishes

[Jimmy_the_saint]

granted. now you forget and people get and angry at you.

I wish it wasnt raining so lightly.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, now it rains acid.

I wish I had an iPhone Shuffle.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But you azzpload from it.

[tremaparagon]

Granted, but blank spaces dont count as wish

I wish that the people didnt forget to post their wishes

what else can i say?

i wish i was 7

[GroG]

Granted, you are 7 feet wide. Good luck losing that weight, bud.

I wish I didn't have to wake up in the mornings.

[pytum]

granted, now you have to wake up in the midnight... for work, a very nasty work... cough, corners, cough

I wish that the button "Digg this post" was displayed correctly

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But by my postmancer powers i make you a post and people "Digg" you.........a grave. "About 50 yds behind you and 6 ft straight down" +rep for the one who gets the reference.

I wish i didnt keep forgetting to post a wish.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but now people nail on you for being mr smarty remembers pants. Fearing social isolation, you try to lay it back, getting only average grades until everything seems okay and you fit in as the 'middle kid'. But then things go wrong, you fall into a depression because you never truly applied yourself and see your miniscule person as working until you die, never to retire. You end up killing yourself and jumping into that grave with pytum.

I wish I was dead and that I went to hell and suffered unimaginably for eternity with no friends EVER.

[tremaparagon]

Granted, but then Spongebob becomes your "friend" and through the insane reverse psychology of him being your friend while you dont have any friends even though Spongebob is good but thus bad because of said reverse psycology but in hell bad is good so Spongebob is actually your friend, and thus proving this fact to yourself you lose your mind and disrupt the thoughts of God, who then sends you back to Earth where you meet Patrick...

I wish it was Christmas break already

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. But then Satan says "You've been such a bastard to that Jimmy_the_saint kid. Now I'm gunna make you really suffer. You're going into the social introverts room. Don't worry they don't bte.............often *insert devil laughter*"

I wish I didnt have a cold.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, it was a misdiagnosis, you have the flu.

I wish I was better at video games.

[pytum]

granted, now you are the best noob player ever

i wish i had powers like jesuschrist, and i can heal all the people in the world with cancer and aids

[MajorSonnwaitts]

granted, but jesus gets mad because you sole his powers and he tells it to god, so he takes your powers and gives it to jesus, but you get $1000000 for your good job.

I wish I had a Wii.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, now you really do have d**k. Your parents are shocked however.

I wish I was able to offend people and get away with it more often. 'Getting away', most likely implies 'evading all consequences', just so you know.

[Zerg_eater]

granted, but they don't get offended. at all.

I wish I was Pooped on

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you die because of the smell...

I wish Z_E would have a siggy

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted but it sucks, you get mad and kill him. However, you then get arrested. While in jail, you get depression and kill yourself.

I wish I didn't have such bad grades in my classes.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, you have only A's but you kill a teacher and get expelled and banned for life.

I wish TPAM wouldn't have so lame corruptions

[Jimmy_the_saint]

granted. he turns all his corruptions against you.


I wish i wasnt a McSlave

[SolidSamurai]

Granted, but then TPAM has to listen to this lame corruption, so...

An anonymous anvil falls on your head and you die. Or at least you thought you did. You wake up from a coma after like 40 years, only to realize everyone you ever loved is dead (including starcraft: no one plays it anymore whatsoever, and it's never heard of among ignorant youth). You get depressed and kill yourself, thus missing out on a fortune's worth of compounded interest in your savings account.

Shit too slow...

Ok, corruption #2:

Granted, but then you become a mcfatty mcretard. Ololol.

I wish I could double corrupt everytime I got a chance to post on this thread. :D

[HyperDemonic]

Granted but you hands fall off before you start typeing, due to something that can make you blind. I wish i wasnt blind,xD.
EDIT: it wont let me make spaces between Sentences.

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but you're horrified by what humans actually look like.

I wish I was rich and had a kick ass flaming horse that I could ride whilst laughing to scare little children.

[pytum]

granted, but it is a horny horse and while you rid it you fell down right under his stomach and you know the big, and long rest...

i wish i could fly

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but you're destroyed by some jets with orders to kill an UFO.

I wish I had more music in my iPod.

[pytum]

granted, now your ipod is full with christian music, enjoy.

I wish that SC2 could run with a 128 mb shared video card

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but I pwn you after you read this

I wish I am the best

[DoctorZettabyte]

Granted, but you are the best assembly line worker. In a factory that makes shower curtains, mind you. (Portal reference!)

I wish my Portal references were more obvious.

-DocTera

[ZeratulStukov]

granted, but you are pwnd by a stickman

I wish TPAM wouldn't mind being hated by me

[DoctorZettabyte]

Well he does, so watch it.

I wish I wasn't sick so close to Christmas...

-DocTera

[tremaparagon]

Granted, but now you will remain sick for the rest of you life except for around every Christmas

I wish I had a lightsaber

[TheOutcast]

Granted but then you cut yourself with it.

I wish I could have lots of wishes.

[pytum]

granted, but you each wish has a corruption

i wish i had something to do something that that something make something that make everything

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but it seeks a life of its own, prior to locking you up in a freezer.

I wish I had a 2 guage shotgun with no recoil to kill gargantuan manbearpig's with.

[DoctorZettabyte]

Granted, but you kill them in Russia, where ManBearPig's kill you with 2 gauge shotgun!

I wish for a new Cell Phone.

-DocTera

[pytum]

granted, but its battery explodes while you receive the first call

i wish i visited the Middle East

[DoctorZettabyte]

Granted, but you only visit for a day.

I wish for a white Christmas.

-DocTera

[TheDarkestShado]

granted, but it's Christmas in 3098. therefore you're dead before it comes.

I wish i could play my music louder. (my grandparents are staying at my house.)

[DoctorZettabyte]

Granted, but your speakers can't take it and short out.

I wish for...meaty meat!

-DocTera

[SolidSamurai]

Granted but it's prison dick. In prison.

I wish to be the uber necromancer to necro all threads for eternity. Also, my unholy shield repels the divine anger of mods.

[DoctorZettabyte]

Prison dick == meaty meat? You're pretty perverted. I was talking about lunch meat variants that are really...meaty.

I wish the air wasn't so dry in winter.

-DocTera

[SolidSamurai]

Zetta, you gotta corrupt my wish before you can post further questions. Unless of course, my wish is incorruptible, in which case I permit you to go ahead.

EDIT: I thought the reference was funny. Well, I did anyway... stop looking at me! >_>

[DoctorZettabyte]

Meh, perversion == not worth the corruption. Pull your mind out of the gutter. I'll use rusty steak tenderizers on you if I must.

I wish SolidSamurai would stop getting so annoyed at people not corrupting his wish and whatnot. Maybe if he posted a wish himself, other people would post a wish, too! :P

-DocTera

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but he pwns you now :)

I wish baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara

[DoctorZettabyte]

Great.

I wish it wasn't so cold out.

-DocTera

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you die because it's 100 degrees Celsius.... :) enjoy becoming a fried turkey :)

I (still) wish baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara

(because Doc.Zetta didn't corrupt it :))

[DoctorZettabyte]

Great. Is that wish really worth it?

I wish I had flash drives with more free space on them.

-DocTera

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but I pwn you. Haha, I love to do this!

I wish ZeratulStukov didn't wish baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara baragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragaraba ragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabara garagarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaragaragarabaraga ragarabaragaragara.

[ZeratulStukov]

Granted, but you're pwnd

I wish i was un-pwnable

[Hasharin]

you're still own-able. and you get owned into submission.

I wish that the gash on my nose cleared up and that I wasnt re-harmed in any shape or form, mentally or physically or psycologically as a result or for an unrelated or related reason.

[Zerg_eater]

Granted, but you can't get a girlfriend


I wish that christmas was gone

[TormentedGod]

granted but quqansa and hanakuah is still around.

I wish i get a working 360 with COD4 and xbox live and its for a month and it all works and i get a controller with batterys and i dont get harmed at all and my tv works. *beat that*

[Zerg_eater]

granted, but your Xbox gets a red ring of death



I wish TormentedGod was just named godoftorements

[TheDarkestShado]

granted, but you get banned from this site for having the crappiest wish on this entire thread.

I wish I could figure out how to make my lego hydralisk's tail.

[FrankZ]

granted, but you get banned from this site for having the crappiest wish on this entire thread.

I wish I could figure out how to make my lego hydralisk's tail.
Granted. But you forgot how to make the rest of its body.

I wish I was the king of the world.

[TheDarkestShado]

you don't need to quote the-person-above-you's wish.

granted, but all your subjects, in an astonishing display of unity rebel against you, Hitler II.

I wish i had all my games back so I could play w/ my expansion, and that my expansion didn't get taken away.

[FrankZ]

Granted, all your games including your expansions suddenly came back to you, but your PC just violently exploded in front of you taking all your present games with you and your home in fire.

I wish I had a Llama.

PS: Okay, I won't quote.

[TheDarkestShado]

Granted, but it bites... everything.

I wish people would post here. no one's posted in like a week.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But they will spoil your wish to the maximum level!

I wish we had animated avatars :(.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted, but because everybody gets animated avatars, the pages take for-EVER to load... FOREVER.

I wish for a pet chicken.

[Galiant]

granted, it has bird flu

I wish for a wish that wished a wish on a wish like a wish from a wish whom it wished a wish from a wish and wished a wish from a wish that wished itself a wish for a wish that wished a wish.

[FrankZ]

Granted, but your wish failed your wish that made your wish fail the wish you just made, and failed the other wish you wished to be wished.

I wish Mac's are cheaper.

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted; raincoats are now cheaper.

I wish I had a higher caffiene intake.

[West]

Granted, but you have heart failure.


I wish i can never die.

[FrankZ]

Granted, but you'll have incredible insomnia and your brain keeps getting smaller and smaller.

I wish that I had SC2.

[pytum]

granted, now you are homeless

i wish i own google, myspace and youtube

[Galiant]

granted but they were filled with trojans and you were arrested and were sentenced for life

I wish nothing

[Praecipitator]

granted. you lose everything you ever had, so that you have nothing.

I wish to die

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, you die because I pwn you.

I wish I pwned everyone below me.

[pytum]

granted, but those below you make a secret club that its first goal is to make you suffer very slowly till death, with spoons...

i wish i had something to evade those "i pwn you" posts

[FrankZ]

Granted. Now you'll start to hear "I ate you alive" posts.

I wish my Orange Box can run PC games.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but it explodes when you try to do it.

I wish I was spammed.

[masterofhobbiton]

granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted granted *your computer overloads and explodes in your face*

I wish I was better at 3d stuff.

[Jimmy_the_saint]

Granted. It comes alive and kills you.


I wish I was a saint

[pytum]

granted, now you are a voodoo saint, but the catholic church damn you infront of your followers and they suicide themselves by no reason

i wish i had something to make anything worth in a second over jupiter

[Jimmy_the_saint]

That....made no sense whatsoever.

I wish I had a better guitar

[FrankZ]

Granted. It makes such beautiful music that only frogs can hear.

I wish it's 2009.

[pytum]

granted, now you cant remember what you did in the 2008... and you had sex in that year...

i wish i had protoss shields

[FrankZ]

Granted. Now you lose your life.

I wish I can fly.

[pytum]

granted, but now you lost your legs

i wish i had another pc

[FrankZ]

Granted. But your other one is now broken.

I wish you can kill yourself.

[pytum]

granted, i can kill myself but i dont want to

i wish i had something to hack a billionarie's bank account to rob around 100 000 dollars

[Hasharin]

granted, you have something to hack with, but you get arrested before you can use it and are deported to texas so you can and wil be executed.

I wish balancing chemical equations wasx easier for me.

[FrankZ]

Granted. But math, drafting (or arts) and PE is a lot harder now.

I wish I was t3h k33ng 0f t3h u|\|1V3Rs3.

[pytum]

granted, but the queen of the universe is a crazy fat bitch with aids that wants sex all the time

i wish i wished peace for everyone (except for the pope)

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but the Pope will pwn you for that.

I wish I had +rep (not by the spamming way)

[pytum]

granted, but you are banned for lagging the page with too many rep balls

i wish i had a ps3 rightnow}!!

[Zerg_eater]

granted, A carboard one

I wish I was dead.

[pytum]

granted, now you meet god, but god doesnt like you cuz your wish, and exiles you to the hell

i wish i had 233.48 dollars right now on my hand, and that nothing happened to me or the people that i know since 4 millions of years to 1000 years ahead

[TheDarkestShado]

Yay... page 300 is mine!!!

granted. the money is on your hand, and you can't get it off, thus rendering it utterly useless.

I wish I didn't need to apply for a job.

[pytum]

granted, now you have to suck... in an ability to get a half-assed job

i wish china was mine

[Galiant]

granted, but suddenly a republican vs. communist war broke out and ur china has been conquered by the most badass republicans

I wish for a wish that never has side effects

[masterofhobbiton]

Granted. You just really wasted a wish though.

I wish for a longer break!!! T_T

[GroG]

Granted. Your forearm fractures and it doesn't heal for 6 months. Enjoy the horrible pain.

I wish I had the De Lorean so I could travel through time, and it better be the version that runs on garbage. I don't have any of that damn plutonium.

[MajorSonnwaitts]

Granted, but you still get the damn plutonium.

I wish I crapped money.

[pytum]

granted, but now the goverment made a 5 inches coin and its value is around 1 cent, enjoy accumulating 1 dollar

i wish i had the best brain in history

[VigilanteV]

granted.

keep it in the jar at all times and make sure it's in a fridge.

i wish i had 2 rep balls

[MajorSonnwaitts]

granted, but i steal them.

I wish I had a new girlfriend.

[Moser]

Granted, But she turns out to have a penis.

I wish I had a new computer.