Scientology

[Skullflower]

HAHAHA!!! I just watched the South Park episode, Trapped In The Closet. In it they make fun of Scientology and Ive been researching what these people believe and it makes me laugh. Honestly, Scientologists are the stupidest people ever. Here's what they believe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu

and if you want to watch the episode its here: http://southparkvideos.blogspot.com/2006/08/912-trapped-in-closet.html

[Toucan]

Yeah scientologists are a bunch of pea nuts, just look at Tom Cruise, need anyone say more?

[Skullflower]

YAY for brainwashing cults! I found this: http://www.xenu.net/roland-intro.html

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion" - L. Ron Hubbard

[WeekendLazyness]

YAY for brainwashing cults!
I totally agree! I'm sure you've heard the stories of those crazy Christians who persecute minorites.

[Darmago]

I consider scientologists to actually be rather smart... or at least their high ranking echelon... They're doing a good job of seperating the fool from his money.

[Skullflower]

I consider scientologists to actually be rather smart... or at least their high ranking echelon... They're doing a good job of seperating the fool from his money.

Well, they've got that part down. I still dont understand how people can be so stupid that they give $1000's of dollars to these scientology losers

[Toucan]

I just read through all that Xenu crap and I can't believe it, is that really what they believe? They really brainwash people with that shit?
Oh well, I suppose an atheist might have the same regard to the story of Jesus Christ.

[Skullflower]

Yes thats what they believe. In the Church of Scientology it only takes $360,000 to move stuff with your mind.

An animated short on Scientology: http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/263120 :D

[Cpt.Chronic]

The entire Scientology religion is based off a science fiction novel. I mean seriously, who would base their religion off a book?

[Spartan-II]

The Xenu story is only told to the highest Echelon of the Scientology cult. The lower ranking members merely follow Dianetics, their code of living. Do research before you bash.

And yeah, Scientology is the stupidest shit ever. Religion in itself is pointles.. but come the fuck on.

[B.A.Baracus]

The entire Scientology religion is based off a science fiction novel. I mean seriously, who would base their religion off a book?

Scientology isn't a religion, its a money making scam pure and simple.
Its no different then a casino or pyramid scam.
People take it too far serious.

[dunchy]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/73/Xenu_space_plane.jpg/350px-Xenu_space_plane.jpg

http://img1.yoxio.com/img/236946.gif%5B

[Skullflower]

The Xenu story is only told to the highest Echelon of the Scientology cult. The lower ranking members merely follow Dianetics, their code of living. Do research before you bash.

And yeah, Scientology is the stupidest shit ever. Religion in itself is pointles.. but come the fuck on.

I did research. I just took the stupidest part of it I could find, which is the story of Xenu and his mass genocide involving spaceships resembling DC-8's. Honestly. Did you even look at the other link in the 3rd post? It basically explains Scientology.

[Nuts]

The entire Scientology religion is based off a science fiction novel. I mean seriously, who would base their religion off a book?

Please tell me you intended that to be funny, cause the irony is killing me.

[Skullflower]

God Bless South Park.

[Cpt.Chronic]

Please tell me you intended that to be funny, cause the irony is killing me.
...at least someone noticed.

[Spartan-II]

Skullflower: You did that and you patronize me? Funny....

Dunchy: I love your knack for shit like that, is it acquired or do you have to be born with it?

[Schwitzer]

A few months ago I heard about the South Park episode (which was utterly hilarious), and went hunting for more information on Scientology. To be frank, I found some very disturbing information about this cult. :/

[dunchy]

Dunchy: I love your knack for shit like that, is it acquired or do you have to be born with it?

Thanks, I'm just like this. It's the picture from the link at the top, looks like something from 'pigs in space' the muppet skit.

[mcflurry_1982]

dont cults usually have some sort of ritualistic mass suicide at some point? especially the ones involving aliens?

[Darmago]

dont cults usually have some sort of ritualistic mass suicide at some point? especially the ones involving aliens?

great generalization, but no. Its hard to milk the money and attention out of dead people. So Scientology probably won't be doing that unless somthing really bad happens for them... like the government decides to intervene

[100thlurker]

Gee, I don't know. Seems like a pretty shakey religon if you ask me. Most of its points have been refuted with impunity. For example, the Spaceships loading everybody up?

The head of the Galactic Confederation (76 planets around larger stars visible from here) (founded 95,000,000 yrs ago, very space opera) solved overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet -- 178 billion on average) by mass implanting. He caused people to be brought to Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H Bomb on the principal volcanoes (Incident 2) and then the Pacific area ones were taken in boxes to Hawaii and the Atlantic Area ones to Las Palmas and there "packaged." His name was Xenu.

— L. Ron Hubbard, OT III: Incident 1

76 planets of aliens filled with 178 billion aliens per planet totals 13.528 trillion aliens that were packaged and blown up by Xenu. Hubbard did not elaborate on the number of space planes required to transport a population of some 13.5 trillion people. The Douglas DC-8, said to be an exact copy of Xenu's spaceships, seats a maximum of 250 people and has a payload of only around 40–50,000 kg, depending on the specific model. This means that, assuming the Galactic citizens had bodies about the same as humans, and the space planes were the same scale as DC-8s, only about 600 to 700 human-sized frozen bodies could have been transported with each trip. It would therefore have required around 54.1 billion trips with everyone seated or 19.3 billion trips with frozen bodies packed more efficiently.

Assuming the people were about the same size as humans, 76×178 billion×2 ft³ per alien is 184 cubic miles (766 km³). This is about ten percent of the volume of the Chicxulub Crater, the site of the asteroid impact that is credited with killing the dinosaurs in the Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction event 65 MYA (million years ago). The frozen bodies would have had to have been stacked a mile (1.6 km) deep, covering an area more than six miles (10 km) across around 6 volcanoes. Even assuming that they were all killed, their fossilized remains would certainly be visible in geological strata today. There is no sign of any such remains. Hmmmmm...
And the H-bombs?
The energy required to blow up Xenu's victims would also have been colossal, requiring thousands of hydrogen bombs with a cumulative yield equivalent to gigatonnes of TNT. This would certainly have left physical traces; Forde lists plausible craters as the Manson crater (35 km, dated at 73.8 MYA), Eagle Butte (10 km) and Dumas (2 km, both 78–74 MYA). Such a huge release of energy, more than during a full-scale nuclear war, would have wrecked the Earth's climate, resulting in a nuclear winter and the mass extinction of all life on Earth. The hydrogen bombs would have left a residue of radioactive isotopes which would have been easily detectable today.Lawl

Oh! How 'bout the habitations of humaniods before the Deaths?
The Xenu mythos includes humanoid Galactic citizens living on Earth at the time; no traces whatsoever of human-style habitation circa 75 MYA have been noted. Rofl

[Duddits]

I will smack the next person who says "stupidest", but yes, scientology is rediculous.

[Skullflower]

great generalization, but no. Its hard to milk the money and attention out of dead people. So Scientology probably won't be doing that unless somthing really bad happens for them... like the government decides to intervene

A bunch of scientologists were arrested in the 80's for trying to plant bugs in goverment and private buildings to stop an investigation. Its funny that molten lava alone couldnt kill the aliens, they had to resort to the H-Bomb.

[Darmago]

A bunch of scientologists were arrested in the 80's for trying to plant bugs in goverment and private buildings to stop an investigation. Its funny that molten lava alone couldnt kill the aliens, they had to resort to the H-Bomb.


They used the H-bombs to trigger the volcanoes...

[Skullflower]

.... Anyways, it's a world wide scam that sues people that release their documents on the internet and bad mouth them. Also they hire private investigators to follow you around and hire people to beat you up.

[dunchy]

...hire people to beat you up.

Proof?

[Skullflower]

Well, a man filming a documentary was attacked by a scientologist outside of a church of scientology and they do hire PI's to follow people. Apparently theyve also raided some peoples homes

[PrestonBurke]

n Scientology (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology) doctrine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine), Xenu (also Xemu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu#.22Xenu.22_or_.22Xemu.22.3F)) is an alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galactic_Confederacy)" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billion) of people to Earth in DC-8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DC-8)-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volcano) and blew them up with hydrogen bombs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_weapon#Fusion_bombs). Their souls (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soul) then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to wreak chaos and havoc today.

Lmao!!! Wtf kind of religion is that?

So today, in our church we will learn how the Xenu fought the Gashoo in a laser tag war.

I mean come on, who the hell believes that crap?
O Btw the guy that made Scienteology admitted that it was fake and just did it for cash.

Fuck some people can be real stuipd.

[Skullflower]

Yes, people can be very stupid. And the guy who started Scientology was a sci-fi writer yet people still believe this stuff.

[IrishDutchman]

I will smack the next person who says "stupidest", but yes, scientology is rediculous.

...don't you mean 'ridiculous'? :P

Fans of the South Park scientology episode, try getting your hands on the one about mormons, it's brilliant.

[Skullflower]

um... okay. You want mormans? here you go: http://southparkvideos.blogspot.com/2006/08/all-about-mormons.html

This one is brilliant.

[Nahotnoj]

Lmao, the SP episode about scientology is hilarious.

"AND I PULL OUT MY GUN!!"

[Skullflower]

Lmao, the SP episode about scientology is hilarious.

"AND I PULL OUT MY GUN!!"

"Now Im in the closet, now Im in the closet too."

Lmao. God I love SP

[Giggilyomeromicon]

http://historyofscientology.ytmnd.com/

EVIL LORD XENU!

[Skullflower]

Trey and Matt had this to say to Scientology over the pulling of the Trapped In The Closet episode:

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.

[pixels]

The entire Scientology religion is based off a science fiction novel. I mean seriously, who would base their religion off a book?

hahahahaha.

anyway, yeah. you cant actually believe any of it. can you? :|

[Skullflower]

The Return Of Chef episode also relates to Scientology, although indirectly. The basics: brainwashing, fruity little club brainwashing people, a secret that explains the mystery of life, a deprivation room, and spirit things trapped in us called Marlocks. The Super Adventure Club's defense?

Super Adventure Club Leader: Is it any more retarded than the idea of God sending his only son to die for our sins? Is it any more retarded than Buddha sitting under a tree for 20 years?

Stan's answer: No, it's way, way more retarded.

The Return Of Chef is a mirror episode of Trapped In The Closet.

[Tharisfal]

The part with the "This is what scientologists actually bealive" made me laugh out of my chiar.

[Skullflower]

OK. The questions that the guy asks Stan for the personality test are real questions that they ask you when you get your personality test. Questions include: 'Do you whistle just for the fun of it?' and a real head scratcher 'Would you rather give orders than take them?'

[PrestonBurke]

Okay so i made a new religon.

Long ago, in the acient times Jesus Christ diied and his spirit went into the form of a HIdden Disco King in the mediveal ages. With his dancing skills and powers he time travelled to china and started the cultural revloution again chairman Mao. From this cultural revolution he decided that china did not diserve the disco skill and went to the america to teach the disco knowledge from the 60-70. NOw JC is in a long slumber to take a break from disco skills and will wake up in the futrue to teach breakdancing.

Anybody want to follow my religon:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

[Skullflower]

Well people are Scientologists so anythings possible.

[xodkrm]

I don't see whats so funny about Scientology.
All religions teach almost the same message (except for Buddhism).
Just because some religion has an "odd" story to it (who are we to judge wether its odd or not, anyways), doesn't qualify for something you can discriminate against.
To me, I don't see a difference between Christians and Scientologists. They both try their hardest to brainwash you into their religion, by using fear (eg hell). After that, they make you pay. As far as I know, you have to pay 1/10 of your earnings in Christianity. Christianity was too, based on some book with text in it , and so was Scientology.

[Whiteknight]

Yes, I know it's so silly to believe that. It's much easier to believe that a carpenter 2000 years ago was a god incarnate who managed to ressurect himself, and also that there is an ever expanding area filled with fire and brimstone.

[xodkrm]

Yes, I know it's so silly to believe that. It's much easier to believe that a carpenter 2000 years ago was a god incarnate who managed to ressurect himself, and also that there is an ever expanding area filled with fire and brimstone.
Gawd, I hate it when you can't tell if the other person is sarcastic or not.
:concern:

[Skullflower]

I don't see whats so funny about Scientology.
All religions teach almost the same message (except for Buddhism).
Just because some religion has an "odd" story to it (who are we to judge wether its odd or not, anyways), doesn't qualify for something you can discriminate against.
To me, I don't see a difference between Christians and Scientologists. They both try their hardest to brainwash you into their religion, by using fear (eg hell). After that, they make you pay. As far as I know, you have to pay 1/10 of your earnings in Christianity. Christianity was too, based on some book with text in it , and so was Scientology.


Buddha sat under a tree for 20 years. Isnt that a little odd? Scientology is a big scam made to seperate people from their money. Not many people actually give 1/10 of their earnings. Anyways, thats Catholocism I think. All religions have a core concept of a God or multiple Gods, the idea of a Heaven or Paradise, and the idea of a Hell. Except of course Jewish people who dont believe in a Hell. Also, most religions recognize Jesus as a prophet, only Christianity and Catholocism recognize him as a God. Hell, all religions even believe in the same Holy Ground.

[sololop]

Scientology, while far-fetched, is still a religion and should be respected as all the others.

I myself, am a Pastafarian and woreship the great Spaghetti Monster (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastafarian)!

[Toucan]

Do any of you have any idea how many healthy happy wealthy Scientologists have turned up dead once there money has run out?
Did you know Scientologists have attempted to bug government offices in the past, as a way to attempt to stay off investigation.
This is not a religion, it is an organised crime and there leaders must be brought down.

[xodkrm]

Did you know that tons and tons of people died because of Christianity?

[mcflurry_1982]

Did you know that tons and tons of people died because of Christianity?

and for Juddism, Islam, Hinduism, and various polytheistic religions

After that, they make you pay. As far as I know, you have to pay 1/10 of your earnings in Christianity.

i dont remember ever being forced to give 10% of my money to my church. the collections plate is voluntary cuz not everyone can afford to donate each week. and the money that is collected goes to the community. for example, during thanksgiving and Christmas most of my church is turned into a homeless shelter. and food is provided by donations of not only money but from food drives.

the money given is scientology, as far as i know, just goes to the upper echelon of their "church".

[Darmago]

Did you know that tons and tons of people died because of Christianity?

Yeah... back in the dark ages...

I mean, before the protestant revolution, the holy catholic church would let you pay money, to get your relatives out of purgatory. And most of it... all of it... went into the coffers of the church or indiviudal priests. So yes, Christianity at one point was very greedy, corrupt, and forcibly charged 1/10th of your income to keep you out of "Hell", but I assure you that in the last 500-900 years, things are a little different.

[Skullflower]

Did you know that tons and tons of people died because of Christianity?

And tons of Christians died after Jesus' death up until Constantine proclaimed Christianity Rome's religion

[PrestonBurke]

So nobody wants to follow my disco religon. cool

[ScottieIWU]

So nobody wants to follow my disco religon. coolAnd you complain that nobody ever takes you seriously?

[PrestonBurke]

-.-

I find it funny if anybody even takes my sarcastic jokes seriously. You know just want somebody to answer the joke with sarcasm. Like
"Wow dude, i want to follow the disco religon." when they dont even mean it.

[ScottieIWU]

Sarcasm
Pronunciation: 'sär-"ka-z&m
1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain

I'd say my comment fit that bill far more than if I had said that I want to follow your nonsensical disco religion.