Quotes from court

[TheBB]

A lot of these are really funny. :)

http://www.netscrap.com/netscrap_detail.cfm?scrap_id=223

My favorite:

Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

Edit: In fact there are lots of fun things on that site... :P.

[own3d0406]

Theyre all funny, but this is my favorite Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead? I should be a lawyer.

[BlackHawk]

A definite classic:

Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears

EDIT:

Hahaha, pure gold:

Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
A: She is my daughter.
Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

I can't believe some of these are real :o.

[Skullflower]

Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify
me."
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.



Haha.

Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder
trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.



That one's funny also.

[InfinityComplex]

Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
sounds like a whore lol.

Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you
observe with respect to your scalp?
A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q: It was covered?
A: Yes, bandaged.
Q: Then, later on.. what did you see?
A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and
put on top of my head.
this one is also funny

[TinyDancer]

Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?


I like that one. :D

[Schwitzer]

That site has lots of funny stuff. Check out their top ten (http://www.netscrap.com/score_results.cfm?scrap_id=223&score=6) funnies. :)