When You Are Not Looking...

[Protosschick99]

They Come.

lolz :P

Any girls/guys here know what I'm talking about? ;)

After Chris and I broke up--I have decided to stay single for a VERY long time. Heart break is just hard for me.

So of course I am just making friends here and there--And in that span of time, there are already certain guys at church making their intentions known.

One of them is like REALLY hot, lolz. Another guy is sooo awesome he really blesses me--And then the other dude--He's got such a great personality, he's a great guy.

All three of them are awesome! But I just don't see myself getting with anyone anytime soon. My mom is like, "So and so likes you--I know it." And I'm like, "Uhhh--No." lolz :P

I mean isn't it possible to have single really good guy friends without developing an attraction for one another? I'm perfectly fine hanging out with these dudes! But I guess it's not possible for them, lolz :P I dunno....Any chicks/dudes here know what I am talking about?

When you're looking--No one comes--But when you aren't--They swarm all over you, lolz :P

[kongurous]

I count 4 :Ps and 5 "lolz"s.

That being said... meh, that rule has never applied to me.

[Frankzilla]

Me neither, I haven't been looking for the past 8 months, and not a single one has come lol.

[Sikawtic]

My problem is I can't get one when I'm single... then when I have a gf... it seems countless others are there "for the taking" (for lack of other words).

I have an AWESOME gf right now though... she's the best. <3

[WeekendLazyness]

Another guy is sooo awesome he really blesses me
Does that guy happen to be Jesus? ;)

[Ubergopher]

I haven't been looking for 19 years, and now I'm just content with being single.

[Spartan-II]

Haha, WL.

PC - Get it while the gettin's good. Don't wait until you're old and saggy to grab one. Maybe they can make your heartache feel better. </3

It is possible to have single guy friends without the attraction thing, but it's not likely.

Oh and back on track, I wasn't looking. My girlfriend found me. Good things come to those who wait, as the proverb goes.

[Black.Ice]

Yes, it's possible to have single guy friends without attraction. Just make your intentions clear. Don't send mixed messages. And for us guys, we get a lot of mixed messages.

[TinyDancer]

Meh, sometimes. It depends on who you're around I think..but I had more date opportunities right after I broke up with my BF, I had some fun, nothing serious, but yeah now that I might want something a little more substantial, poof, no one's there.

[GrassDragon]

When you're not looking, people flock to you... hmm, can't say that I've experienced that phenomenom.

[TinyDancer]

When you're not looking, people flock to you... hmm, can't say that I've experienced that phenomenom.

Maybe you're always looking?

[kongurous]

Maybe you're always looking?

Maybe the analogy is foolish.

[GenocideAlive]

Here's a little tip, nerdlings. Desperation shows. People can pick up on it like a dog senses fear. You laugh too much, too fast, you're easy to impress, you make retarded jokes / comments...all of these things cue people's gut reaction: this person wants something from me.

As soon as you mellow out and be yourself, those that find your personality traits attractive are able to recognize them without the blaring klaxon of a warning signal that desperation emits.

And PC, it's cool that you were really into Chris. It's too bad that you can't date a guy and enjoy it without overreacting. Pledging yourself to "stay single for a VERY long time" just sounds like you're trying to avoid feelings that you once enjoyed because you are afraid of possible bad endings. Try just going with the flow, without putting a controlling chokehold on your personal life. I think your problem was pretty clearly that you just went too far too fast. Lesson learned, don't punish yourself for it.

Edit: Good one, TD.

[CrazyTom]

Wow... that was a really nice post from GA. PC brings out the best in everyone. lolz.

I guess it's easier for PC being a girl in these situations - if a guy likes a girl, desperate or not, it's fairly obvious. But if a girl likes a guy? Interspersed with odd moments of affection, she'll make his life a living hell for a few months until he gets the message. Which he may not do.

As for the whole dating thing... my two best friends who are girls, one I went out with and broke up with but we're still really good mates, and the other there's no possibility that we would ever go out, so I guess unless you can remove the need to go out with a person (i.e. by being with someone else) there'll always been that boundary that you want to test: 'I like Chris as a friend, but what would it be like if...' So on and so forth. Sometimes you test the boundary and everything breaks. At other times, it stretches and you end up with a really close friend.

How does one 'stop looking?' Stop going to the gym and wearing deoderant? ;)

[Ktan]

I must say, as far as I'm concerned, both GA and CrazyTom hit the nail on the head there.

That's why you can't try too hard. I found someone when I wasn't specifically looking. Albeit, it only lasted one day, but for me, I'm afraid to admit thats quite long. No idea why I'm opening up like this, maybe I'm becoming apathetic. Just recently I've again learnt how easy it is to screw up ALOT of things, partly out of looking a little too much. Obviously searching isn't wrong, but when it borders on desperation, your just going to wreck things.

People don't 'flock' to you when you aren't looking though. Even if you are some supermodel, you may be intimidating. And if you are and they hit on you alot, it's probably out of their own desperation.

Running in circles now, so I will go elsewhere.

Glad you are happy though PC :)

[bluemicrobyte]

Yes, it's possible to have single guy friends without attraction. Just make your intentions clear. Don't send mixed messages. And for us guys, we get a lot of mixed messages.

Single best bit of "advice" in this thread. My new life quote as of two months ago is "Guys are oblivious."


I guess it's easier for PC being a girl in these situations - if a guy likes a girl, desperate or not, it's fairly obvious. But if a girl likes a guy? Interspersed with odd moments of affection, she'll make his life a living hell for a few months until he gets the message. Which he may not do.

This post is also quite true. I have a bit of experience with the above mentioned situations =P

And because I've always wanted to say it...... QFT!

I count 4 :Ps and 5 "lolz"s.


This wins my vote for "Epic reply of the day" =P

[GenocideAlive]

I guess it's easier for PC being a girl in these situations - if a guy likes a girl, desperate or not, it's fairly obvious. But if a girl likes a guy? Interspersed with odd moments of affection, she'll make his life a living hell for a few months until he gets the message. Which he may not do.
I really have no idea what you and BMB are trying to push, here besides some sexist bullshit. Maybe if half the dudes trying to get in some chick's pants would stop thinking with their dick, they wouldn't be so fucking clueless when someone interested comes along. I'm sure every guy would just be thrilled if women started communicating only with the letters of the word "sex" when they're interested in someone.

The fact of the matter is that most mature males and females don't rush into situations just because some dude is good looking or they find him attractive. Most check to see if they're actually compatible or if they have chemistry, or any number of factors.

Sorry, but I'm not going to stand here while you make ignorant sitcom generalizations like "Guys are such slobbering idiots and women are sadistic manipulators lol!" Get some culture and get some education, please.

[Veeger]

All I am going to say is don't let how "cute" a guy look cloud your judgement of him. A certain amount of physical attraction is necessary, in my opinion (though we all have different opinions of what is "attractive"), but it is also my opinion that a person's beliefs/morals/views can augment, and often greatly increase, their attraction to you.

They can also destroy that attraction.

Trust God, as I know you do. If God has someone specific for you, He will bring this man to you when you are ready to recieve him. When I first met Molly I was not ready to receive her love and affection: she and I both still had a lot of growing up to do. That is why it took me three years to realize my love for her. When you find him, you'll know.

[GenocideAlive]

Trust God, as I know you do. If God has someone specific for you, He will bring this man to you when you are ready to recieve him. When I first met Molly I was not ready to receive her love and affection: she and I both still had a lot of growing up to do. That is why it took me three years to realize my love for her. When you find him, you'll know.
Ugh, I think I'm going to fucking throw up. God helps those who help themselves, chumps.

[EvilEggCracker]

God helps those who help themselves, chumps.

Truer words have never been spoken.

No I never notice that. Anyway, about what guy to date; go with the flow.

[Zeltaris]

When you're not looking, people flock to you... hmm, can't say that I've experienced that phenomenom.

That is because you don't have enough Zelt >.>

Although I do remember a time when chicks literally fell in your lap. Maybe you should stop showering >_>

[GrassDragon]

Although I do remember a time when chicks literally fell in your lap. Maybe you should stop showering >_>
Oh yeah... Nevermind, I have experienced it :P

[CrazyTom]

Actually while I think that comment was sick and wrong...

... it did made me laugh. :P

GA - The girl-living-hell thing was a half-joke.

Although from personal experience it does happen quite often.

[Veeger]

Ugh, I think I'm going to fucking throw up.

Hence, I directed that at her and not you. :-D

go with the flow.

Considering she's a woman, Egg, that might not be the best idea . . .

[SpeedyWorm1]

whatever you do, don't send signals that you like any of the 3. We guys interpret almost ANYTHING as a sign, so just make your intentions clear and just be friends with them. Try not to be overly flirty or they will jump on it

[GrassDragon]

whatever you do, don't send signals that you like any of the 3. We guys interpret almost ANYTHING as a sign, so just make your intentions clear and just be friends with them. Try not to be overly flirty or they will jump on it
I'm pretty sure only desperate guys interpret "anything" as a sign that some chick likes you.

[EvilEggCracker]

Considering she's a woman, Egg, that might not be the best idea . . .

Heh, always worked for me :P

I'm pretty sure only desperate guys interpret "anything" as a sign that some chick likes you.

Well it depends what the sign is...

[Basan]

PC', alas, most not to say all flat out right guys pass that "being attracted to your best girl friend" phase. Particularly on their teens, early twenties. :P Nothing you can do, really. *Shrugs*

Does that guy happen to be Jesus?
*Roflmao* I sure laughed when 1st saw it, that's what I can say. Perhaps 'cause I really wasn't expecting it... XD

When you're not looking, people flock to you... hmm, can't say that I've experienced that phenomenom.
Eh, that's what sorta happened with me and my current gf. We already met a long time ago and later on have grown fond with one another in that sense, although we picked with each other (as in, humourously speaking) for years now. :)

Ugh, I think I'm going to fucking throw up. God helps those who help themselves, chumps.
Word. I've never made a move towards my gf and we always had gotten along. The rest is as they say... above explained already. :rolleyes:

And best advice said in here (by GA) for all so far: 1st of all, act natural. ;)

[Protosschick99]

Here's a little tip, nerdlings. Desperation shows. People can pick up on it like a dog senses fear. You laugh too much, too fast, you're easy to impress, you make retarded jokes / comments...all of these things cue people's gut reaction: this person wants something from me.

As soon as you mellow out and be yourself, those that find your personality traits attractive are able to recognize them without the blaring klaxon of a warning signal that desperation emits.

And PC, it's cool that you were really into Chris. It's too bad that you can't date a guy and enjoy it without overreacting. Pledging yourself to "stay single for a VERY long time" just sounds like you're trying to avoid feelings that you once enjoyed because you are afraid of possible bad endings. Try just going with the flow, without putting a controlling chokehold on your personal life. I think your problem was pretty clearly that you just went too far too fast. Lesson learned, don't punish yourself for it.

Edit: Good one, TD.

Thanks GA--And yes it's true--We went too fast :( It's not like we had sex or anything--That's not an issue for me--We just got emotionally attached too fast. We said "I Love You" barely two months into the relationship and we were already talking about marriage--But then I realized that our goals and vision in life went in two opposite directions :(

The Lord had been telling me not to get with him for this reason but I didn't listen :(

I mean I would like to be in a relationship again, but not now. I need to get my life together. I gotta get my own place--That's my ultimate goal right now. I just got this awesome job as a radio dispatcher for ambulances as of yesterday! :D So a job isn't an issue--Now it's my own place.

That's my next goal.

Anywayz--I'm just gonna take it slow for now. Just get to know these guys better. You know what's funny? lolz....Now that I think about it--All three of these guys are different indeed.

Scott: I know him from college. He goes to my Campus Crusade for Christ meetings with me. I believe he is 20 just like me and he's into video and editing like me as well, lolz. He's a very sweet guy and a cutie :P

Tom: He goes to church with me. He's actually from Germany so he's got this german accent, lolz. He's 24 and omg this dude is HOT ;) Basically your blonde haired-blue eyed awesome Christian guy :D He believes what I believe so that's a big plus :) He also wants to go to the missionfield so for me--He has a possibility in my future. Here's the thing with Tom--Out of all the guys I've known, he's the only one who doesn't let me get away with anything. He tells me like it is and is very blunt with me. I've never had a guy talk to me like he does :P

Anthony: He goes to church with me as well. We spent a whole week together at the West Coast Believer's Convention because he was my partner in gripping for cameras. I've worked with him before and we hit it off very well, I consider him a great friend of mine. He just turned 33 yesterday but he sooo does not look 33 :P He's a cutie as well. He's sooo awesome in his faith life and his revelation on the Word amazes me. Yeah I know there is a big age difference between us (I'm 20 he's 33) but for some reason I attract older guys because they think I'm older than my age. I know I act stupid on here, lolz--But I constantly get mistaken for being much older. But it confuses ppl because I look like I am 18 but I act 25+ ppl say.

Anywayz--I will continue being myself and I won't act stupid, lolz :P

[GenocideAlive]

Maturity "IRL" is a lot different than being online. I'm outspoken in both RL and online, but I tend to be a lot more playful and carefree to my loved ones. To strangers, I'm pretty quiet and kind of brusque. Sort of like Tom, in that we're both raised as Germans so we're blunt and straightforward. The point of me suddenly talking about myself is that I believe you are a "mature" person given your dedication to work and the like. A lot of 30 year olds still don't get that concept. :rolleyes:

In re: your boy situation, I really don't think anybody was going to accuse you of sexing Chris. I'm sure you two were good friends and the like, but you were both compatible and there's nothing wrong with learning a little. I'm glad you didn't do anything you horribly regret, but even if you did you still take away the lesson which sometimes can only be experienced and not explained.

Lame truism of the day:

Life is the world's hardest teacher: It gives the tests first and the lessons afterward.