The Grand List of CRPG Cliches [Archive]

DragonPaladin

07-10-2006, 11:35 PM

By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.

Capitalistic bastards.

Stonehand

07-11-2006, 12:11 AM

I've seen this before, but still it's the best list EVAH!!! ^^

#133. Last Rule of Politics.
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.

Spartan-II

07-11-2006, 12:12 AM

That was pretty funny, and best of all, they were true!

Neo

07-11-2006, 1:55 AM

Hahaa.

Good, funny. I remember alot of those from the actual games XD

-Neo

Ubergopher

07-11-2006, 2:26 AM

Hah, that was awesome.

Sirion

07-11-2006, 5:10 AM

Good read, and so true.

I particularly like the one Stonehand posted.

Aquarian

07-11-2006, 5:17 AM

"Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."

True true... ;)

Neo

07-11-2006, 5:20 AM

True true... ;)
Ok first off, that entry bothered me for the following reason:

PEOPLE GET KNOCKED OUT IN BATTLE.

They do not die.

Pheonix Downs only bring you back from the land of nod (heretofor known as unconciosness).

They do not bring people back from the dead.

On the other hand, why they didn't summon Pheonix is beyond my understanding.

-Neo

U-238

07-12-2006, 12:53 AM

You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.

Always, That always happens yet it's so darn funney...

wa123

07-12-2006, 1:00 AM

Im lov'in it

MidnightGladius

07-12-2006, 1:05 AM

On the other hand, why they didn't summon Pheonix is beyond my understanding.

For that matter, why not just Life2-All after Meteor hit? : /

Seal

07-12-2006, 1:03 PM

that's made from win and truth. srsly.

Protoss_Honor

07-12-2006, 4:28 PM

Hahahahah. I have experianced most, if not all, of those cliches listed. It was hilarious. Great find.

Tharisfal

07-12-2006, 5:06 PM

Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.

This happends almost in every and any RPG

Seal

07-12-2006, 5:21 PM

This happends almost in every and any RPG
TES4: Oblivion for instance has somewhat realistic burglary, if you get caught you will face consequences. but then, Oblivion might not be exactly a RPG this list is after. It's still a console RPG tho.

sololop

07-14-2006, 4:07 PM

I only got to #80 (daing theres a lot) But I will read the rest later. But yeah, this is the greatest list ever constructed. Excellent read!

ScottieIWU

07-14-2006, 4:35 PM

Its funny to go through and think of individual examples of each one. It's a kind of nerd test, the nerdier you are the more of these you recognize.

GenocideAlive

07-14-2006, 4:58 PM

I still think I could improve the list:

1232: The Essential Gimp

Every party has a character that is to say, "sub-par". Let's be honest: He/she/it downright sucks. As enemies grow ever more powerful and hardy, the Gimp grows more aenemic and frail. Of course, no matter how hard the game plays out various hijinks involving the character in an attempt to endear it to the player, the player inevitably develops a deep-seated loathing for the character's forced part in the party as every battle he's forced to compensate for the glaring weakness the Gimp represents.

1233: The Essential Gimp's Collary

The Gimp's frailty in the first half of any storyline is indirectly proportional to the Gimp's power during the second half of the storyline. The weaker the Gimp is during those starting out battles, the stronger he inevitably becomes once he finally "matures", "evolves", or taps some totally BS "potential". If he couldn't knock out a fly before his grand transformation, he can suddenly wipe out entire armies afterward.

Tharisfal

07-14-2006, 7:00 PM

hmm not sure about this cliche. Could you tell us some games in which this happens?

ScottieIWU

07-15-2006, 2:06 AM

hmm not sure about this cliche. Could you tell us some games in which this happens?Wakka in FFX.

Neo

07-15-2006, 2:30 AM

I dunno. Even at the end I never really found Wakka to be all that good. Then again, I never used him early on, or ever really if I could help it, so I never got that limit of his.

-Neo

ScottieIWU

07-15-2006, 3:20 AM

I dunno. Even at the end I never really found Wakka to be all that good. Then again, I never used him early on, or ever really if I could help it, so I never got that limit of his.Thats the thing. In the beginning he was so utterly worthless that nobody ever spent time with him. But, if you stuck through it and got him to the max, some of his attacks were absolutely devestating. If I remember correctly, his overdrive was ridiculous and in some cases for me did max damage (multiple times?).

Neo

07-15-2006, 6:38 PM

Thats the thing. In the beginning he was so utterly worthless that nobody ever spent time with him. But, if you stuck through it and got him to the max, some of his attacks were absolutely devestating. If I remember correctly, his overdrive was ridiculous and in some cases for me did max damage (multiple times?).
Heh. But to be fair, once you've started maxing characters out, and you had people like Yuna doing 99,999 damage every hit, did it really matter?

I've actually been thinking about running back through FFX and trying to max out everyone truly, and getting everyones limits and such.

-Neo

ScottieIWU

07-16-2006, 1:57 AM

Heh. But to be fair, once you've started maxing characters out, and you had people like Yuna doing 99,999 damage every hit, did it really matter?Yes, but you asked for examples of GA's rule and I provided. Nowhere did it say that the other characters also couldn't kick ass, it simply said that the gimp had to be the biggest wuss and then turn into a badass. Wakka fits that pretty well.

Neo

07-16-2006, 2:50 AM

Yes, but you asked for examples of GA's rule and I provided. Nowhere did it say that the other characters also couldn't kick ass, it simply said that the gimp had to be the biggest wuss and then turn into a badass. Wakka fits that pretty well.
I dunno. Technically thats true, but in the normal corse of the game, without stat maxing, Wakka still doesn't end up that powerful.

Actually, I can't really think of any characters that fit that rule, except for a few villians. :/

-Neo

GenocideAlive

07-16-2006, 3:50 AM

I dunno. Technically thats true, but in the normal corse of the game, without stat maxing, Wakka still doesn't end up that powerful.

Actually, I can't really think of any characters that fit that rule, except for a few villians. :/

-Neo
I put the fucking things out there; take it or leave it. Either way, quit being nitpicky turds. There are a number of Pokemon, Shining, or Phantasy examples that I can think of, but if you really want to pretend that no RPG exists in which that applies--fine. Those are probably a little too old for you and I seriously doubt you have any serious RPG background.

I just find it a little hilarious that you'll spend twenty minutes posting and defending some bullshit about a 9/11 conspiracy with glaring, deliberate lies but if someone tries to make a constructive contribution you're suddenly a critic and skeptic.

Neo

07-16-2006, 5:43 AM

I put the fucking things out there; take it or leave it. Either way, quit being nitpicky turds. There are a number of Pokemon, Shining, or Phantasy examples that I can think of, but if you really want to pretend that no RPG exists in which that applies--fine. Those are probably a little too old for you and I seriously doubt you have any serious RPG background.

I just find it a little hilarious that you'll spend twenty minutes posting and defending some bullshit about a 9/11 conspiracy with glaring, deliberate lies but if someone tries to make a constructive contribution you're suddenly a critic and skeptic.
Gosh, I was only saying that I couldn't think of any off the top of my head, man. I didn't say it wasn't true or anything.

Way to over-react.

Pokemon is an interesting example, since I kept trying to think of storyline examples, rather then gameplay ones, heh.

Genocide would you mind not biting my head off at the drop of a pin?

Oh, and by the way, the only reason I posted that 9/11 thing was to spark some discussion. I'm trying to gauge how to get IR more active, and less stagnant. Its not as if I truly believed it or anything. But I've learned the best way to spark debate, or discussions, is with something controversial. IE: Run into a FF forum and scream "FF7 SUCKS" usually does it. =P But thats hardly appropiate for IR

-Neo

Seal

07-16-2006, 6:33 AM

Oh, and by the way, the only reason I posted that 9/11 thing was to spark some discussion. I'm trying to gauge how to get IR more active, and less stagnant. Its not as if I truly believed it or anything. But I've learned the best way to spark debate, or discussions, is with something controversial. IE: Run into a FF forum and scream "FF7 SUCKS" usually does it. =P But thats hardly appropiate for IR
also known as trolling.

GenocideAlive

07-16-2006, 2:54 PM

Way to over-react.
Overreact isn't a hyphenated word.
Genocide would you mind not biting my head off at the drop of a pin?
It gets irritating when someone "can't find an example" but is notably not even trying to find an example. I was hoping to generate some responses from Warboarders so we could get our own add-ons going or something, but the odds of someone else following now after your flak are pretty low.

Neo

07-16-2006, 7:26 PM

Overreact isn't a hyphenated word.

It gets irritating when someone "can't find an example" but is notably not even trying to find an example. I was hoping to generate some responses from Warboarders so we could get our own add-ons going or something, but the odds of someone else following now after your flak are pretty low.
Its been my experience that these forums don't really result in a lot of "game" discussion, even in the Gamer's Rotunda, unless it involves discussions about Halo or CS.

The fact is that I wasn't "trying" to find an example. I just couldn't think of one off the top of my head except for certain villians.

Thats all I meant.

-Neo

Ubergopher

07-17-2006, 3:11 PM

Hmmm... can't remember if it was listed or not...
1234. Law of photosynthesis
When you have a character in your party turn evil and desert you and you have an opprotunity to have them turn back to you at some time, when they do return to your side they have lost all off their coolness...
Right, I'm not that great with words, so if someone could reword that a bit it might make more sense if it doesn't...

hammocksleeper

07-17-2006, 9:31 PM

Wow, that's a great read...and I've only played one or two RPG's!

MidnightGladius

07-18-2006, 12:31 AM

A great example of the Essential Gimp is the whole Magikarp -> Gyrados evolution.

mcflurry_1982

07-18-2006, 12:51 AM

a lot of those seemed to apply to pc rpgs as well.

MidnightGladius

07-18-2006, 1:05 AM

That's because, for the most part, PC RPGs are just ported over from the console and maybe spiffed up a bit.

Seal

07-18-2006, 5:12 PM

A great example of the Essential Gimp is the whole Magikarp -> Gyrados evolution.
same can be said for Beldum (evolves into Metagross, which kicks ass obviously), Larvitar (which in turn evolves into Tyranitar, which is ownage very much), and finally Dratini. each is weak in its first form, decent in its second form, and godlike in its third form, up to par with legendaries.

Tuxedo-Templar

07-19-2006, 5:57 AM

Perversity Principle
If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.

Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
Ah the joys of forced plot furtherance devices. Where would modern game developers be without it?