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View Full Version : Good plotline or not


Wondersnail
03-10-2006, 7:12 AM
The piece of SC fanfic that i'm writing is called The Last Stand, set on a backwater planet on the edge of the Koprulu sector. Set after the events of starcraft brood war, a large terran fortress was cut off from communications due to a space anomoly and still believe that the confederancy is in power and that the zerg are just a mindless race of beasts. it starts off with a major battle in a canyon. The piece will also go into much detail on the zerg creatures. After a Protoss fleet decend from orbit and request for assistince they know that something isn't right, the commander of the fort Lt. Commander Nagora, send in a team of marines to assist the protoss in any way, the enter the ship to find the place torn apart with bodies lying around. When they return to the base they find the same thing happened to their base. taking a phoenix (experimental frigate) they fled off the planet, only to find a massive battle underway between protoss and an unknown race. Instead of fighting they decided to run through the battle, just as they though they were through, the Largest Protoss vessel ever appears before them roughly 10 times the size of a carrier the vessel captures the phoenix frigate and then warps out. The commander of the protoss ship explains the situation to them, how that they were exiled many years before the dark templar exile, he also explained about this new race and how they needed humans to fight them because most of them wern't psychic. The terran and protoss forces launched an attack on a massive alien space station, and were successful in destroying it. But that was only the first wave of this unidentified aien race.

I have written a 2 paragraphs so far so here it is

War, the whole planet was wrought with it. Impact craters went on for miles the air thick with dirt and unbreathable. Yet the zerg still send their massive swarms against the last terran resistance. Small zerglings rub shoulders ferocious hydralisks. Massive ultralisks trample the smaller creatures in their charge only to be blown away by article cannons. Thousands of zerglings are torn to shreds by marines. Long bolt missile launchers make quick work of the approaching guardians. While wraiths engage in deadly dogfights with mutalisks.

“Sir we gotta get out of this bunker now unless we want to share a tomb together” A marine yelled at Sergeant Jenkins. “alright everybody out.” Without replying the six marines in the bunker forced their way through the cramped doorways. “Command this is Sergeant Jenkins we are abandoning bunker twenty four, we request a siege tank bombardment to cover our retreat” “Request denied all current siege tanks are currently engaged”

WarBrood
03-10-2006, 8:14 PM
needs more development, here is some advice it you are actualy planing to write a story. Jot down in point for the entire events of the story from beginning to end, first be vague then go further and further into the depth of each detail. You writing is good but it could use alot more detail.