Kids are quick witted.

[Demon_Child]

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Why are you late Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School ahead. Go slow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Greg, how would you spell "crocodile?"
GREG: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No Greg, that's incorrect.
GREG: Maybe it's incorrect, but you asked me how "I" spelled it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Ryan, what is the chemical formula for water?
RYAN: H I J K L M N O
TEACHER: Ryan, what are you talking about?
RYAN: Well, yesterday you said it was H to O.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Hunter, name one important thing that we have today that we didn't
have 10 years ago.
HUNTER: Me !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Adam, why do you always get so dirty?
ADAM: Well, I guess it's because I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Beth, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BETH: I is...........
TEACHER: No Beth.....Always say "I am".....not "I is".
BETH: All right........."I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now Alex, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
ALEX: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Now, Macy, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
MACY: No Ma'am, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TEACHER: Daniel, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's composition. Did you copy off of him?
DANIEL: No teacher, it's the same dog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Parker, what do you call a person who keeps on talking to people who are
no longer interested?
PARKER: A Teacher

[Schwitzer]

Aww, those adorable little mites.

[mcflurry_1982]

ive seen those before. still good for a smile though. especially since im not in the best of moods

[Sikawtic]

lmao, I love them!

I actually laughed at quite a few of them.

[EvilEggCracker]

Meh, I dont really find them funny...

[Spartan-II]

I smiled, and gave a little chuckle. Some of them are pretty witty though. :)

[KexMex]

Heh. I've seen those before. They're really good. :)

[Mtank]

Last one was gold. Same for the George Washington one.

Pity children don't really say such witty things. So pathetic, they are.

[Leosam096]

Meh, I dont really find them funny...

TEACHER: Leosam, what do you call a person who keeps on talking to people who are
no longer interested?
LEOSAM: An Evil Egg Cracker Ma'm.

[Demon_Child]

Last one was gold. Same for the George Washington one.

Pity children don't really say such witty things. So pathetic, they are.

You would be surprised with how many times I was called to the Principal's office for my wittyness.

[Night-Hawk]

Got to love kids that was really cute.

[Mtank]

You would be surprised with how many times I was called to the Principal's office for my wittyness.

Oh, im sure things were different in the 1700s. Im talking of today's kids.

[DragonPaladin]

Oh, im sure things were different in the 1700s. Im talking of today's kids.

*Cough* Cough* Owned...>_>

I think these jokes are still slightly witty, enough to bring a smile on your face, but its rather like puns. Where the laughter is present, but its pained laughter about the actual joke itself.....


"What did the boy do when he outgrew his bed?"

Answer: He boycotted it.

Har har har...my chest hurts...so does my brain...

[pixels]

Oh, im sure things were different in the 1700s. Im talking of today's kids.
funniest damn thing in the whole thread :P :D

[BlackHawk]

Haha. I smirked at a few. I'm in a good mood now though, thanks DC.

[Aqo]

I knew em' all except for 4 and 5.
They brought up good memories; I didn't laugh.

[The_Maker]

Heh, pretty good... I never actually LAUGHED but I chuckled at a few of them... nice DC :)

[TinyDancer]

Haha. Kids do say things like that sometimes..I've heard it happen, and done it too. I've read quite a few of those before..but I still love 'em. :D

[Darmago]

Lol... good find...

however... George Washington never did that cherry tree cutty thingy.... that was made up by the press :P

[Ecthelion]

Amusing. Some of them got a chuckle.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now Alex, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
ALEX: Because George still had the axe in his hand. Heh. Smart lad.

[Magmaniac]

I rate this: 4/10- Mildly interesting at best.

[SHISHKABOB]

Ahh, life at its close to third not so best.

[Demon_Child]

Oh, im sure things were different in the 1700s. Im talking of today's kids.

At least I can eat a hamburger and not feel (too) guilty. :P

[Mtank]

At least I can eat a hamburger and not feel (too) guilty. :P

?!

I can too.

[Black.Ice]

?!

I can too.

Mtanks on a roll...

Your comments have been cracking me up recently.

[Demon_Child]

Here is a little some for the drinkers amongst us all it is another oldie. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde sitting by herself:

Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"

Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."

Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

Lady: "No, they open!"

[EvilEggCracker]

Heh, now that was funny!

[Yoda]

Those were quite funny. Demon_Child, yours was terrible.

I'll make a contribution to this thread

Question: Why did the chicken cross the park?
Answer: To get to the other slide


:cool:

[Demon_Child]

Those were quite funny. Demon_Child, yours was terrible.

I'll make a contribution to this thread

Question: Why did the chicken cross the park?
Answer: To get to the other slide


:cool:


That one was by far the worst one yet.

[Moser]

Question: Why did the chicken cross the park?
Answer: To get to the other slide
A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde sitting by herself:
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: "No, they open!"

I like Demon_Child's much better then Yoda's. :) I was never that quick-witted as a kid, but now that I got a little older I am. Hell, on a few occasions I didn't even have to talk to get kicked out of class--all I have to do is smile. ;) haha.

[EvilEggCracker]

Question: Why did the chicken cross the park?
Answer: To get to the other slide

And you said D_Cs was bad!? Yours was terrible!

[Yoda]

Yours was terrible!

Yeah I know, its the corniest joke I've ever heard in my life. But the fact that it is makes it funny in some way. I still prefer it over DC's though.

This one should be better:

A priest and a taxi driver both died at the same time and went to the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter said to the taxi driver "You've done excellantly. Straight into heaven!!" so the taxi driver went straight into heaven. Saint Peter then said to the priest: "Well you're okay... but not that good. I'm afraid you'll have to wait about 6 months first."

The priest said "What? I'm a priest and have to wait 6 months, and yet to let the taxi driver in straight away! Whats wrong here!!" Saint Peter said "We do this on results. When you give sermons, people sleep. But when the taxi driver drives, people prayed."

[L2_1989]

Those were good, DC. Stupid, but good.
But Yoda, I have a smiley for your joke.:lame:

[Demon_Child]

Add a caption to this image. I'll start. :D

http://img1.yoxio.com/img/223489.jpg

"Why the Hell isn't the pointer moving around?"

[GrassDragon]

http://img1.yoxio.com/img/223489.jpg

"I can never keep these damn mice alive."

[Hawthorne]

Hiroshima 1945
Chernobyl 1986
MS Windows 2000