A poem about serfs and peasents

[Dusty]

You could probably fit this in with warcraft but i oringally wrote this for a school assiganment hope you like it...


My So Called Life


I am but a poor serf,
that farms my Master’s turf.
I work so very hard
to fill the Master’s lard.

I am but a slave that works for no pay
Through all kinds of weather, night and day.
With nothing but a shovel
I must make my own hovel.

If someday I want to marry,
I must first ask King Larry.
And then the visit to the priest
costs the equivalent of a Feast!

I work all day
And may it soon end, I pray.
If I am to be free
I must first pay a fee

Or I may just leave my hovel,
with nothing but my shovel;
to go to the town to find a way
to hide and eventually be able to stay.

Oh how I mope ,
but I will not lose hope.
That one day I’ll be free
to be who I want be!

Dustin Carey
© 2006

[mcflurry_1982]

basic rhyme scheme. decent imagry toward the end.

[Dusty]

It finishes the school thing at least :P

[iHawk]

It's pretty good, simple rythm to it but I thought it was pretty well done.

~iHawk

[Mtank]

The problem, as I have said before, with sticking to a rigid rhyming scheme is that it often limits the vocabulary of the one writing the poem, who will naturally look for smaller words to use, which are easier to rhyme. This invariably makes the poem sound childish.

Its ok for a 13 year old, but I suggest that If you want to write better poetry, grow out of this rhyme structure. Notice how an overwhelming majority of advanced poetry is centred more on rythm rather than rhyme.

And what on earth is King Larry? Just put there to rhyme with "marry"?

[Dusty]

yea and i thought the oem got a little depressing...