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View Full Version : Hufu - the Healthy Human Flesh Alternative! (Warning: Gross)

Fenguin
09-15-2005, 1:40 AM
IF YOU FIND EATING HUMANS INCOMPREHENSIBLY VILE, PLEASE DO NOT READ ON. ALSO THEXENON PLEASE DON'T POST A VIDEO OF A PERSON BEING EATEN.























Those among you who are cannibals may be realizing it is getting increasingly harder to find humans to eat. A simple solution to this major problem lies in Hufu - the healthy human flesh alternative! Made with completely vegetarian components, it is flavored and textured to be exactly like human flesh!

From their site:
HufuTM is designed to resemble, as humanly possible, the taste and texture of human flesh. If you've never had human flesh before, think of the taste and texture of beef, except a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture. Contrary to popular belief, people do not taste like pork or chicken.

http://www.eathufu.com
Modred
09-15-2005, 1:52 AM
I'm curious as to the taste of human flesh. Too bad the hufu strips are on backorder. And I'll trust them that it tastes like flesh.
Aquarian
09-15-2005, 2:43 AM
Cool.I can be a cannibal
Schwitzer
09-15-2005, 3:02 AM
But eating is only the icing on the cake... the real fun comes from the hunting and preparing :(
Aquarian
09-15-2005, 3:04 AM
Just toss the Hufu around.There.Hunting.
Schwitzer
09-15-2005, 3:06 AM
Can they make it scream?
Aquarian
09-15-2005, 3:08 AM
Attach a voice recorder of someone screaming.
Mtank
09-15-2005, 3:52 AM
Its too damn expensive and they dont sell it in India. No thanks.

Why go through the trouble of eating processed stuff when you can get a ricshaw puller from near your house and have the real thing for free?


ps: Schwit, you're missing the obvious thrill of the scent of fresh human blood. Theres no way Hufu has that, i bet.


edit: omg. I change my mind. I need Hufu.

Leningrad Pirogies with Hufu
("Leningradski Pirozhki s Hufu")

These delicious little meat pies are better known in America by their Polish name pirogies, but whether you call them pirogies or by the Russian name "pirozhki." You won't want to be called late for dinner!

Aztec Human Stew

You can vicariously participate in one of the great Aztec customs, the human sacrifice festival, as you enjoy this healthy and flavorful stew.
BlackHawk
09-15-2005, 5:00 PM
Lovely...well at least the Cannibals have a brand they can go to when the cops are closing in on there ass...
singo
09-15-2005, 5:07 PM
Interesting, but it really wont help with the overpopulation thing now will it?

:D
Mindslaver
09-15-2005, 5:12 PM
Its too damn expensive and they dont sell it in India. No thanks.

Why go through the trouble of eating processed stuff when you can get a ricshaw puller from near your house and have the real thing for free?



You wouldn't want to eat this poor man, would you?
http://static.flickr.com/8/7329102_85882264cd.jpg
X-Master2
09-15-2005, 5:17 PM
Interesting, but it really wont help with the overpopulation thing now will it?

:D

Depends, think about how many humans that are not paying taxes, then do the math on how much the population will decrease if you eat 3 humans for your 3 squares a day, plus another one you can snack on over the course of a day.
singo
09-15-2005, 5:28 PM
Hmm, I dont know, 3 WHOLE humans? hmm, I know I can eat a hell of a lot, but three full Humans in one day might be pushing it.

Well, four humans a day for 75 years...109500

Per cannibal. Damn, thats leading dangerously close to UNDERpopulation.....

Maybe a combination of Hufu and real humans?
X-Master2
09-15-2005, 5:37 PM
Hmm, I dont know, 3 WHOLE humans? hmm, I know I can eat a hell of a lot, but three full Humans in one day might be pushing it.

Well, four humans a day for 75 years...109500

Per cannibal. Damn, thats leading dangerously close to UNDERpopulation.....

Maybe a combination of Hufu and real humans?

Yeah, unless we can solve over population in the next 75 years, like setting up colonies on other planets, and sending people there. But I think the end times, as said in the bible, will come way before that.
singo
09-15-2005, 5:41 PM
Unless of course, the end times are a direct result of overpopulation.....
X-Master2
09-15-2005, 5:54 PM
Unless of course, the end times are a direct result of overpopulation.....

So God is mad at us for being too horney?
BlackHawk
09-15-2005, 6:04 PM
You wouldn't want to eat this poor man, would you?
http://static.flickr.com/8/7329102_85882264cd.jpg

Well, grilled with some salt and he'd go pretty nicely over a ceaser chicken.

:o
MidnightGladius
09-15-2005, 10:39 PM
Note that the "I'm feeling queasy; take me out of here" link goes to the Clifford: The Big Red Dog homepage. ;D