Hahaha! Wow...

[Geno]

This is *The* most hilarious spam mail that someone has sent me... How many of you are believing this scam? I'm sorry, it's just pathetic... C'mon...

THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USATODAY - IT IS FOR REAL


Subject: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news


This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.

Dear Friends; Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.



When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.



For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.



Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX
292-1085 Charles_Bailey@csx.com Charles_bailey@csx.com




I thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and withindays, I receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill gates is the man.



It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00 We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend go t in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped "Paid in full"



Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.



Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.



When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it( if you are a Microsoft Windows user)for a two week time period.



TRy it; What have you got to lose

Ok... Let me point some things out...

1. Why does it matter that they're getting sued, then Bill Gates is sharing his fortune... How do they fit? They can't get sued if he's broke...?

2. Why would Bill Gates *ever* give out his fortune because of freaking E-mail.

3. If he tracks your E-mail, but doesn't get your address, how does he know where to send the check? The E-mail somehow KNOWS where you live... Doesn't ever ask, now does it?

4. It says, and I'll quote:

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.

Ok... So *as soon as I send it* it becomes tracked? But what about the next person? It becomes tracked then. But they can send it to themselves... Who sends it to themselves... To themselves again... Indefinite loop anyone? That, and the fact that let's say I wait for like two years before sending it. Does it start tracking it then? It has to. *That's what the E-mail said!* And if it means two weeks from the time it started out... But how? The person in the E-mail got tons of money after two weeks. That means this is already done. Duh.

5. Do you know how much cash Bill Gates would lose? If this E-mail goes on from every person that starts this, sending it to about 20 people each time, and continues for the two week time, and ending after a month... Sending it at least twice a day. So really, 40 new people sending it to twenty more... By the end of that month, there'd be more than a Billion people that knew of this E-mail. A hellatious amount of them would be repeats, so really, maybe a fourth that. So a quarter of a billion people, or 250,000 people would know. In the end, Bill Gates would lose more than two billion dollars off of that E-mail alone. And if he sent multiple E-mails, and people send it out repeatedly... Yea, he's boned.

Basically, this is the *worst* thought up scam that I've *ever* heard... Seriously... Has *anyone* else gotten worse? 'Cause I was laughing as soon as I saw it after I woke up...

Just freaking pathetic...

~Larry "Geno" Meyers
- BI's RP forum Aide

[Black.Ice]

Haven't seen that, but I have a chance for free Viagra and Cialis.

[kongurous]

Haven't seen that, but I have a chance for free Viagra and Cialis.

Someone's havin' fun tonight;)

And that e-mail is indeed crappy, just like this post.

[Rayne]

Hah. I probably would have found out who forwarded it to me and shitkicked them. Who the hell would ever pay you 245 to click a button on your screen? Not even Bill Gates could afford to lose millions needlessly from kids clicking on their computers. When Microsoft does lose its millions its for a good cause. Like replacing a coffee filter in the staff room. A noble cause indeed.

[TheBB]

Some spam mail are really fun to read. I had one a while back ago that described how the fabuluous new three-point-triangulation method of generating unique personalized lucky numbers had just won me a lot of money in a lottery. Unfortunately it has been deleted due to being a month old. I really should save some of the best ones.

I have seen yours before btw. It's getting pretty old now.

[Schwitzer]

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of
being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who
actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling circus freak show. Do you really believe Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
Fuck them.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this
poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)















Make a wish!!!









No, really, go on and make one!!!














Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!










Wish something else!!!









Not that, you pervert!!










Is your finger getting tired yet?











STOP!!!!




Wasn't that fun?

Hope you made a great wish.



Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!

Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 2


Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a Starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving, Legless, Armless, Goatless, Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit.
So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and
a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible
will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had Recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could HappenTo You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this
letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

-------------------------------------------------------

Chain Letter Type 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends

A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...
-no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all your
nuts missing tomorrow morning!!

[Rayne]

A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...
-no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.



*Clap* *Clap*

Trult touching. I cried twice while reading it.

[Dezzick]

No spam in my gmail accout, or in my pre-gmail-so-ancient-it-is-older-than-the-big bang hotmail account. go Gmail! (Thanks to BSTRhino for passing Gmail to me)

EDIT: if you recieve an email by me, please don't hurt me.

[Ender]

What kind of idiots would believe that crap? There are grammatical errors all through that thing. What kind of company would release a letter that is that poorly written? None, I say!

[Rayne]

What kind of idiots would believe that crap? There are grammatical errors all through that thing. What kind of company would release a letter that is that poorly written? None, I say!

I concur......they would have used words like that in any real Microsoft letter.

[singo]

What kind of company would release a letter that is that poorly written? None, I say!

Well, AOL and Microsoft for a start....


:D

But hahahahahahhahaha anyway.

[Frattimonde]

Never recived a spam such as that, but however I do get a lot weird russian emails.

[bluemicrobyte]

Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.

-------------------------------------------------------

Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and
a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.


The above lines were hillarious!


Yeah chain letters are evil... Whenever someone sends one to me if it says forward to 10 people, I forward it back to them 10 times :D aren't I evil? Now theres the ones that say forward to 100 people..... can't wait to learn how to do something like a macro or photoshop batch to mass email them revenge on a silver platter!

And if I get these on AIM, I send them back to the poor guy that sent em to me 12 times over the course of 2 hours until they go insane.

oh and I did get that stupid microsoft thing a while back... one year ago I think..... arrr its still around! DIE!

[Modred]

Wow, I haven't seen the email marketing letter for a while. And it's inflated a bit too. Last time I got it you only got $20 per person you sent it to. No fair! =P

[XTERMIN8OR1]

I hate spam mails :mad2: . People who believe such scams should not be allowed to get children.

Schwitzer, that was hilarious :) . I couldn't stop crying when reading that :) .

[Demon_Child]

My normal reaction to the spam e-mails are deleting them without even bothering to view them.

[Mattimeo]

You forgot one of the major types of spam chain letters, the random african royalty e-mail:

HELLO! I AM PRINCE ALI-BAHAD-MUHAMMAD-SLAMI-GOATFACE OF RANDOM AFRICAN COUNTRY!!!1 I HAVE GOBS OF CASH AND JEWELS AND MONEY FUNDS AND STUFF AND I WANT OT GIVE IT ALL TO YOU!!! BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT I NEED SOME MONEY FOR *INSERT LAME REASON HERE* BEFORE I CAN GIVE YOU YOUR 35 MILLIONS DOLLARS. THIS IS REAL. I HAVE CHOSEN TO GIVE YOU AND ONLY YOU MY MONEY BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT NICE A GUY. I DIDN'T SEND THIS TO ANYBODY ELSE. PLEASE SEND ME MONEY SO I CAN FIX MY CAPS LOCK KEY AND THEN GIVE YOU MILLION OF DOLLAR. THANK YOU MUCHLY!!!!1

~Don't Panic

[Modred]

^And that's what happens when NewYorkers in Alaska stay up too late.

[Mattimeo]

I'm from Connecticut and I'm in Oregon right now. Get it right bitch :)

~Don't Panic

[Modred]

Correction: Yankee's fans on the wrong end of the continent.

[Mattimeo]

Thank you, you get a gold star.

~Don't Panic

[MidnightGladius]

Heh, here's the official article on the one Geno posted:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/12.07/hoax.html

[chibi]

Man, all I get are e-mails from foreign women wanting me to marry them so they can have a better life in "America" , e-mails about enhancing my manhood, and e-mails about attending University of Phoenix to get some kicking degree....

to junk mail i say :P

[RedRagToAnOrc]

I haven't read all of the posts so forgive me if something along these lines has been posted already.


I recently received a chain mail letter from one of my friends. It read something like this;

Microsoft are conducting a clean-out of all hotmail accounts, and they need to find out which ones are active and which aren't. If you do not send this letter to 30 people within a month, your account will be deleted permanently.

It was probably a whole lot longer but that was the general thing. Here's what I sent back to my friend;

Ok, so they're going to delete my Hotmail account in one month's time because I didn't pass on the letter? Ok, I'll send you an e-mail from the same account on the 8th August, one day after the deadline is up.

I'm still waiting for that day... what was even funnier is that it didn't even have the proper MSN logo that they send official e-mail to you with, and the person who officiated the e-mail was called Wyn Dupp. (Geddit?) Some people these days.

[UnHoly-Assassin]

I got that email from a busniess associate of my father's when I was checking his email. Then I did some research on it and discovered that it was a few years old :P. Also how a governer got tricked into it.

BTW, Schwitzer, I am SO forwarding your comment :P

[Spartan-II]

I propose me wake our own WB's chain letter just to pester people.

I rarely get any spam e-mails though. My MSN + GMail accounts stay relatively clean.

And Mattimeo, where are you in Oregon? Turns out you're in my neck of the woods. >_>

[GrassDragon]

I never get spam emails in my @mac.com account (don't sign me up for shit now :P). I have gotten an email or two in chinese or japanese or something, so those may be spam, not that it even matters.

[Modred]

I propose me wake our own WB's chain letter just to pester people.
Heh, despite what I said about Windows users not being dumb in another thread, if you create a chain letter that tells everyone to delete vital system files, at least half of the United States will do it without question. xD

[Sikawtic]

I got a total of over 19k doing this, believe it.

Heh, despite what I said about Windows users not being dumb in another thread, if you create a chain letter that tells everyone to delete vital system files, at least half of the United States will do it without question. xDLet's do this ^_^

[Mattimeo]

And Mattimeo, where are you in Oregon? Turns out you're in my neck of the woods. >_>

I was in southern Oregon. I saw crater lake and now i'm in north-central California and it is HOT here. I didn't see a thermometer but it felt like about 108 F or so. I'm ok with that though, it's better than Barrow Alaska where it was in the mid 30's F

Heh, despite what I said about Windows users not being dumb in another thread, if you create a chain letter that tells everyone to delete vital system files, at least half of the United States will do it without question. xD

My dad's coworker got an e-mail just like that. It said that you have a virus in a system folder and it had a certain name and icon. It tells you to delete it, so my dad's coworker deleted the file and sent the e-mail to the other people in the office. My dad went to check with the IT people on whether it was legit and they told him that the file was a vital system file. His coworker had to get his OS reinstalled XD

~Don't Panic

[MidnightGladius]

I can't believe they're that stupid... Don't they even check the file before obliterating it?

[singo]

I can't believe they're that stupid... Don't they even check the file before obliterating it?

I really wouldnt bet on it.

Really, I KNOW a large segment of humanity is idiotic enough to do that.

[Rayne]

I KNOW a large segment of humanity is idiotic enough to do that.

*cough* Everyone who posts on WB *cough*

Hehe. Jk :P

[Modred]

I can't believe they're that stupid... Don't they even check the file before obliterating it?
But think about how Windows is marketed. It's the user-friendly system that anyone should be able to learn. Knowing anything about how it works is not necessary to make use of it.